“Normally I wouldn’t stoop to such drastic measures,” I said.

Midas puked in response.

“But we don’t have the time for going nice and slow.”
He just kept going like a fire hydrant.

“This is reality. This is how things really are.”

There was blood everywhere.

One could die from the scent alone.

It was a battlefield.

We were in the ladies bathroom.

“Now, repeat after me: hot girls also need to shit.”

The stream coming out of Midas intensified.

Ok, maybe I started too hard.

 

<Cue anime opening>

 

 

“To be honest, my first time was rather bland. We barely managed to put it in. I have a friend who had it much worse,” Angelica said, sipping on a cup of tea.

“Worse than losing it at 14?” Midas asked, nervously sipping on his own cup.

“Her boyfriend was a year older and was really pressuring her to do it. Once she finally gave in, he practically assaulted her with all his pent up desperation.”

Midas was finally listening to a woman.

“But she consented to it, he was her boyfriend,” Midas reasoned.

He was listening badly.

“At first. But she felt a lot of pain, and when she asked him to stop, crying, he told her to stop being a little girl and get over it.”

“And did she?” he asked.

Angelica slapped Midas smack across the face.

 

 

“Tell her what you’d want to do to her,” I instructed.

Angelica was standing in an extra prim cream-colored outfit. Paid for by Midas. That was part of the contract.

She was smiling.

Mostly because in front of her, her flustered boss was trying to work up the courage to say something at least mildly sexual.

“Look her in the eyes and tell her which part you like the most about her.”

“I… Uh… Her… eyes?!”

Man can’t even be sexual with a woman he considers a whore, when given permission.

I sighed. “Slap him please.”

 

 

“So, what’s your favorite position?” I asked.

“Hmmm. I’d say I like it from behind, when I’m on all fours,” Angelica replied.

“Ah, where I come from we call it ‘doggy style’,” I said.

“Oh? Because it’s the positions dogs do it? Oh I like that,” she said, her eyes lighting up with lust. “Can I steal that name?”

“It’s not mine to own, it belongs to the world,” I said and looked to Midas.

He was silent and uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

“Now, tell us more about your tailoring,” I said, turning back to the maid. “Why do you want to work in this field?”

“I’ve always loved making my own dolls and toys growing up,” Angelica replied. “And then bags, accessories, even clothes eventually.” She passed he hand over the quality cloth of the stylish velvet evening dress she was wearing, courtesy of her boss. “One day I will make dresses like these, and all the women in the capital will wear them,” she said, her eyes lighting up with a different kind of passion.

 

 

“When you approach a girl, what are you to her?” I asked.

“A stranger?” Midas suggested.

“Wrong.”

Angelica slapped him.

“You’re a rapist, homeless beggar, or some cult recruiter until proven otherwise!” I said.

“But why?” Midas protested. “Can’t she see that I’m obviously a rich man?”

“My mother was beaten and raped by a rich man in the capital. Nothing was done to him, and both she, I and my unborn little brother were thrown out of the city to keep it quiet,” Angelica said somberly, staring at her tea cup.

“I’m, uh, sorry to hear that,” Midas said, scratching his head in shame.

“A woman’s reality is that any unknown is a potential danger,” I said. “You walk down a street at night with a sword and no bandit will touch you. She walks down the same street and she has to constantly be on her guard, lest someone grab, rape and put her head on a spike in some alleyway.”

“That sounds… terrifying, and stressful” Midas said.

“It is,” Angelica said, sipping more of her tea. “Now you understand part of the reality of being a woman.”

I honestly could not have wished for a better assistant. Angelica was teaching him the value of empathy for women better than any man ever could.

 

 

“I like… her breasts,” Midas said through greeted teeth.

“Don’t tell me that, tell her that,” I said, gesturing to Angelica, who was now wearing an angel-white gown.

“Yes, which part of my body do you prefer?” she asked.

She was having far too much fun with her new role.

“I like y-your tits!”

Angelica raised an arm to slap.

“No, no! He did good!” I stopped her.

She lowered her arm in disappointment.

 

 

“Why are we in a brothel?” Midas asked, covering his eyes.

“Because where better can we remove this notion of yours that whores and sluts are lesser beings?” I said, pulling his hands down.

Moans and creaking beds could be heard from upstairs and girls dressed in all manner of outfits that did not leave much to the imagination greeted us with warm smiles and sultry looks.

We were so warmly and allowed to look around, for research purposes, as I had coffee before with one of the leading ladies of the establishment, who vouched for my sincerity.

Said lady was coming towards us.

She was a tall blonde by the name of Theodosia, or The Midnight Sun, as the locals nicknamed her. She wore a crown of white roses, magically kept from wilting, and a pink silk gown that surrounded her like colored cellophane wrapped around a delicious treat.

And she was quite delicious with those hips and gravity defying breasts.

Her slap to my face was less so.

“I thought you were dead!” she said.

“Well, technically –“

She slapped me again.

“I would have come and seen you sooner but,” I said, raising my leg to show the public service bracelet. “Stuff happened.”

“Bondage suits you,” she said slyly.

I looked to make sure Midas wasn’t closing his eyes again, but he was, surprisingly, instead staring intently at Theodosia.

Enamored by a literal whore. Good.

The most important part about Theodosia, for our important research task, was that she had the face of a literal angel. The kind of face that would launch a thousand ships to her defense. And she didn’t let it go to her head either. Truly a rare breed.

“Oooh! We should head to the back. Rose made some lovely lemon cookies! I adore them! dibs on the biggest one!”

She walked lively to the back rooms, swaying this way and that as she hummed some popular song.

The second most important part about Theodosia, was that she was absolutely adorable.

The look in Midas’ eyes was similar to many who visited her. All were smitten with her, for good reason.

He would either try to save her from this lowly life of prostitution, or find out that she joined of her own free will, intent on selling her virginity for a hefty sum that would set any normal person for a comfortable life, and then discover she actually liked sex, a lot, and decided to stay.

If this didn’t cure him from his Madonna-Whore complex, nothing would.

 

 

“What kind of guy I want?” Angelica pondered. “An honest one.”

Midas perked up, sensing the call for his white knighthood.

“What do you mean by honesty, though?”

“Hmmm. A man who is honest with himself. Who can actually say what he really wants,” Angelica replied.

Midas shrank slightly.

“Men don’t usually tell you what they really want?” I asked rhetorically.

“You’re being sarcastic, right?” she snorted.

“No, no. I’m being very serious.”

“No. They don’t. They think because I’m cute I need to be courted for a month before they can even hold my hand, it’s exhausting. A boy in the capital spent an entire year befriending me and was so distraught that I dared go with another, who actually made a move, that he never talked to me again.”

Midas shrank more and more back into his seat with each sentence uttered.

“They’re afraid to tell me what they want from the start, they’re terrified of touching me.” Angelica threw her arms in despair. “How hard is it to just be a normal person around a woman?”

“It’s very hard when no one ever taught you how to be,” I said, looking at Midas, who looked back.

I winked at him.

“Angelica,” Midas said, straightening back up to his white knight posture. “I desire to marry you and then have sexual relations with you every day!”

Angelica slapped Midas smack across the face.

“But I want us to get to know each other better first!” he added.

The sonofabitch was learning.  

 

 

“The girl in yellow, go!”

Midas ran after a female adventurer in yellow tinted armor.

“Hello. I’m sorry to bother you but,” he began. “Uhhhhhhhhhhh.”

The girl looked puzzled as Midas continued to uhh.

The madlad even stopped for a breath and continued.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

The adventurer laughed and walked around him and on her way.

“Excellent work,” I said, patting Midas on the shoulder. “Next I want you to get on one knee in front of a girl and propose marriage.”

“What do I do if she accepts?” Midas asked.

“Uh,” I uhed. “Monogamy is a thing in Mithuna, right?”

 

 

Midas was shaking.

“It’s alright,” Theodosia said.

It wasn’t.

Midas was trembling from anxiety, excitement, fear… His cock seemed quite ready to burst from his pants.

I didn’t tell Theodosia to let her gown slide to the floor before hugging Midas.

“Just, breathe, and relax,” the blonde’s soothing voice whispered into his ear.

Theodosia was a true professional.

Slowly, Midas seemed to calm down.

He might even be able to shake a girl’s hand without fear after this.

“Oh!” the Midnight Sun exclaimed as the most unexpected had happened.

Midas had slid his hands down and grabbed her delicious peach of an ass.

I smiled.

Finally.

It was time to unleash my creation on the real world.