Different cultures have different ways to celebrate one’s birthday. In some groups, the birthday celebrant treats his or her friends to a celebratory meal. I reckon in such cases, a person would only have to spend once a year, and benefit multiple times a year depending on how many friends he has, assuming all his friends do the same.
In some other groups, the birthday celebrant is treated to a celebratory meal by his or her friends. Sure, someone might end up having to spend small amounts multiple times in a year, but at least the birthday celebrant gets to feel special.
A subset of the latter groups would go a step further and make this celebration a secret from the celebrant. Everyone likes surprises, or so they say. I remember once attending a surprise birthday party where the friends of the celebrant all made a surprise visit to her house late one evening. She was surprised she quickly rushed back in her room, as she was already wearing her sleepwear.
There was a time when our office had a very distinct tradition when it came to birthday celebrations. I’m not sure how it all started, but for about two years, anyone who had a sizable amount of friends in the office had their own “surprise” celebrations. Technically it was really a surprise, but since it happened so often across multiple people, it was fairly easy for some to expect one.
And so it happened that Vivien was about to have her birthday soon.
* * * * *
<[email protected]> v’s birthday is coming up
<[email protected]> any plans to give her something? hihihi
<[email protected]> lol
<[email protected]> nah
<[email protected]> i’ve got nothing planned
<[email protected]> tsk
<[email protected]> you should organize her party!
<[email protected]> lol
<[email protected]> i’m sure someone else has that in the works
<[email protected]> i’ll just wait for the email thread to reach me
<[email protected]> you’re useless! Lol
<[email protected]> :P
* * * * *
And yes, the email thread did come. The tradition of birthday celebrations in our office had its own tradition on how it was planned. Typically, a few of the closest friends of the celebrant will start an email thread about the upcoming birthday give or take around a week prior. Then, they would start talking about ideas on what kind of food to order for the gathering. And perhaps buying a gift as well. Over the course of the next few days, they would start adding more people in the email thread, roping more people in the celebration.
Now of course, it’s not a compulsory thing, so the email thread eventually morphs into people adding their names into the list of attendees. This way, the organizers have a better grasp of how much food to get, and how many people will help split the bill. It’s not the most efficient of workflows, but hey it works.
And so I was indeed added into the thread shortly after it was created. It was initiated mostly by Vivien’s batchmates, the close-knit group of June 2008. Quickly glancing through the email, I noticed that not much has been discussed yet. I figured I would just get back to this email later on. After all, I had some work to do.
* * * * *
Later that day, I finally got to reading through the email thread and updating myself on the plans for Vivien’s birthday. As expected, it was decided to order food from the usual place, the same place from where we order food for send-off parties. Maybe we had an employee who had ownership shares of that caterer. Who knows?
There were also talks of gifts ideas, and other gimmicks that could make the celebration a little bit more special than the rest. One idea someone put forth was to get a couple of guys to give her a rose each, much like a girl’s 18 year old debut. The idea even went further to suggest getting Vivien’s admirers to be the one to present her the roses.
And Vivien did have her fair share of admirers. She’s easily one of the most likeable persons in the office, and in an industry that is predominantly male, it would be quite reasonable for a number of males to be attracted to her.
So I didn’t pay much attention to the idea. If it happens, it happens. It shouldn’t be a big deal for me.
Or so I thought.
* * * * *
<[email protected]> JUDE
<[email protected]> OMG
<[email protected]> ??!!
<[email protected]> what happened?
<[email protected]> v’s birthday email thread
<[email protected]> READ IT
<[email protected]> and highlight on the white text!
* * * * *
White text? That didn’t sound quite good. But hey, what’s the worst that could happen? So heeding Shirley’s advice, as I was curious as well, I reread the messages in the email thread, now paying attention to possible hidden messages sent in white colored text.
And I did find something quite unexpected.
* * * * *
> How about giving v some flowers?
>> I like that! Then we can get each of her admirers to give her a rose each [like Greg, Lionel and Jude]
* * * * *
Sure, I probably was never great at hiding my feelings. And probably anyone would half a brain would have noticed that I was kind of attracted to Vivien. But it’s one thing for people to notice it, and another for one of Vivien’s friends to announce it in an email thread sent to half our office including our managers and bosses.
So what was I supposed to do? Should I reply to the thread? What am I supposed to reply in the first place? Deny it like mad? What good would come out of that? Just roll with the punches? I was never quite good at rolling with it, and if I learned anything from Chris’s experience, that might create some awkwardness.
So in the end, I decided that the best thing to do is to do nothing at all. If I ignore the problem, maybe the problem will go away by itself.
* * * * *
Thankfully, people had enough mercy not to make a big deal out of it. Sure there were some replies expressing interests in the latest gossip, most notably from one of the HR managers (I guess it’s kind of their job to know about these things, maybe), but by and large nothing much came out of it. So hooray for feigned ignorance.
And thus Vivien’s birthday came without much additional fanfare. Everything was set for that afternoon’s celebration, and thankfully the flower thing did not quite push through. Perhaps people did sense the possible awkwardness it might breed, especially with the white text and all.
But prior to the afternoon festivities, me, Desmond, Cathleen and Jane all went out to have lunch at a nearby mall to our office.
* * * * *
“Jude are you planning anything special for Vivien’s birthday?” Cathleen asked with a knowing smirk.
“We have the celebration later, right?” I replied pretending I had no idea what she was implying.
“No! Something personal from you!”
“Nah, the group thing should be fine.”
“At least give her a gift!” Desmond and Jane quickly offered their support for Cathleen’s idea.
It’s great to have supportive friends, but it does feel a bit weird for them to support me making the moves on someone who clearly had a boyfriend. And since I didn’t think it was the right thing to do for me, I stood my ground, even as they dragged me inside a toy store.
“Okay, how about we all chip in on a gift from all of us?” Jane offered a sort of compromise, seeing as I wouldn’t budge.
“I guess that’s fine,” I relented.
This was a trickier matter. My main objection would not have worked, seeing this is a group gift. And I wouldn’t want to be such a spoilsport to prevent others from giving Vivien a gift.
“Ok. Jude, you choose a gift,” Cathleen decided to up the ante now that I was showing some signs of cracking.
But what did I know about choosing gifts for a girl? Obviously, if this was any other friend, I could just quickly choose a random thing from whatever pile I saw. But this is Vivien. So as much as I wanted to deny it, a part of me wanted to make this gift special.
In the end, I settled on a relatively big teddy bear from the pile of plushies and stuffed toys. The other options were smaller and more expensive, which I felt were not worth it. And hey, teddy bears are cute, right?
We eventually did go back to the office, and since my friends insisted we give the gift immediately, we walked through the office from the entrance up until Vivien’s seat parading a fairly sizable teddy bear. We gave her the gift, which she accepted graciously without much fanfare.
All’s well that ends well I suppose.
* * * * *
What happened to the teddy bear? Interestingly, Vivien named it tiyanak (little goblin). Why did she name it that way? I’ll never know. Perhaps that in itself has its own story.
But as for the birthday celebration, nothing in particular happened, much to my relief.
