I have seen pain and I've seen suffering, I have witnessed the darkest of dark days.

I've been there when life became an endless cycle of despair, loss, grief, and hopelessness.

I lived it all but I am nothing if not strong and determined, and that determination has brought me to the top, where my dreams will one day reach fruition. But today…today I am broken! For the first time, I wish nothing more than to give myself away and be consumed by darkness. I want the pain to cease! And if I can't stop the pain then it means I'll never truly be able to make things right!

So I have decided, today will change everything.

I have learned to accept pain for what it is.

So please, go away, please, just disappear, I beg you just stop these nightmares please god I beg you...

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Ravella watched as the boy trembled and cried out, in his sleep his body shaking violently with violent jerks, his hands curled tightly into fists , his mouth stretched wide open, his teeth clenched so tightly, that the flesh around them were starting to swell.

After what felt like hours had passed he fell back into silence, but continued to tremble every so often.

He whimpered as he awoke, his eyes wide with terror.

He tried to reach out to someone his mother perhaps, maybe even in hopes that perhaps she would somehow help him, but to no avail, for her arms seemed to be far, far away from him.

Her eyes softened as she watched the child sob quietly.

She had grown used to seeing him cry.

This had become commonplace since he had started to travel with them.

She had begun noticing these things as the journey progressed, little by little, and she wondered why she had not noticed them before.

Now it seemed as though each passing hour had caused the boy to regress.

The nightmares he had experienced were becoming stronger and much worse each time he slept.

It was not only that his sleeping patterns had gotten worse, but his nightmares were becoming increasingly frightening.

She had offered him medicinal aid many times and at each attempt he had refused.

His refusal had caused a small fire within her that she did not quite understand herself. For some reason she could not bear to see him hurt anymore, whether or not she understood herself she knew that it was for the better for him.

Abruptly the boy woke up and shot up sitting upright and breathing heavily 

As he calmed, she gently laid her hand on his shoulder

"little one, don’t worry, it is alright” she whispered gently

He did not look up at her, merely shook his head vigorously and clutched the blanket tighter against his body

“no! it isn’t fine! It isn’t alright! Why do I deserve this?! I don’t deserve this! I didn’t do anything wrong!” The child burst out crying, covering his face with his hands and trembling violently,

Ravella sighed in defeat, as she saw the boy continue to mumble and thrash uncontrollably beneath the covers.

She decided to leave just as he had always done the boy would compose himself and come on his own accord, eventually he would calm, and be the strong silent boy once more.

She knew he could handle it,

And yet she couldn’t ignore the pang of heartbreak she felt as she left the room.
****************************************************
I sat at one end of the bed, staring out into the distance.

I wasn’t sure how long I had been sitting there, simply thinking about nothing.

Everything hurt, every inch of my body ached and throbbed, my stomach churned with nausea and my chest tightened whenever I took a deep breath.

I didn’t know where to go from here, where I was supposed to begin.

I wasn't really thinking, my mind wandered aimlessly while I stared listlessly at the blank space beyond my bed’s canopy, but soon my wandering mind settled on one question that I knew would take me nowhere, but instead cause me to spiral further down.

The nightmares , that had plagued my mind lately had started getting worse and worse and I hated every single minute that passed without them happening.

I didn't understand the reason for the nightmares, it was just like I hadn't dreamt of them before.

They weren't particularly vivid or terrifying dreams, but rather a vague feeling in the back of my mind that wouldn't allow itself to be shaken away.

It was like the feeling I got every time I wake up But it wasn't like a nightmare, it was more like I was being haunted.

They had started out small, but quickly grew larger and heavier with each night that passed, until they now plagued my entire night.

They came and went like clockwork, but they always ended the same way; the same fear and panic, the same screams of agony.

I was tired of running. I was tired of hiding

. I needed answers, I wanted the answers that would lead to an escape.

I wanted to live my life again.

I wanted my old life back.

My eyes darted across the darkened room mechanically I forced myself from the bed and began to dress myself.

My movements were stiff and uncoordinated but I persisted anyways.

In less than 5 minutes I was dressed and ready to go, which was damm impressive in my opinion since I had to tie nearly a hundred little knots for a single shirt.

I looked in the mirror at my reflection and winced at how ghastly I looked.
I stood before the full-length golden mirror and turned slowly so that I could look at every part of my appearance.

My eyes landed upon a scar running diagonally across my torso just below my ribs.

A reminder of the countless times I had been beaten within an inch of my life, although it had stopped hurting long ago.

I forced myself to leave behind the memories of the beating and the scars of it, instead focusing my attention on my eyes.

There was nothing there, just a flat grey colourless gaze.

 I blinked a few times, forcing myself to concentrate on something besides myself, the lessons!

Ravella must be waiting for me, I had to hurry.

I exited the room and headed down the long hallway which still surprised me every time I saw it, I mean it was not supposed to be there considering we were in a 24 by 18 feet tiny carriage,

but that was irrelevant right now,

I quickened my pace as i my way to Ravella 's door.

I arrived outside the room almost instantly, I knocked softly, hoping for her to hear, knowing she wouldn't, before opening the door slightly.

When I heard the door creak open, Ravella's beautiful smile greeted me as she stepped out from inside the room

"Good morning sleepyhead, are you feeling better?" Ravella questioned sweetly

"I feel fine Mistress..." The words sounded so hollow coming from my own lips. Ravella smiled sadly before patting me on the head affectionately

"Well come non, we are to continue  were we left off from yesterday"

I nodded as I found a seat in a coarsely decorated room.

There was a table covered with maps, books, and other miscellaneous items. Next to the map sat a large leather bound book that was opened to a page marked by a large red feather

Right as my thoughts began to drift  Ravella cleared her throat as she began the lecture

"The history of the Union is incomplete and lacklustre without the history of the Six kingdoms,

but the History did not start there with them it started with Five duchies and their dukes and duchesses and the HISTORY OF THE! Five Duchies is of necessity a history is of its ruling family,

the Dorosians, as they are known, the most powerful kingdom in the world.

A complete telling would reach back beyond the founding of the First sea kingdom, across countless centuries and even throughout the whole of the entire Macrian seas, it would entail the tails of long forgotten men and women who carved the very foundation on which the first kingdom was founded. From their beginnings they lived together in peace until the arrival of the Dunedinian invaders.

The Dunedinians invaded the land of the Macrian sea isles in order to secure territory and resorces for themselves for the war they waged against their allies in the south.

The Dorosian were forced to unite the thound or so isles in order to resist the barbaric invaders, they did so with shock and blood lust.

The Dorosians, in a way attacked the Macrian people, they united the nearest islands under their rule.

Over time, battles became too much so for the Dorosians, but in the end they succeed they formed what today is dubbed as the first Duchy, following their footstep the rest of the Macrian isles to fell into war and the people began conquering each other in the form of a war called the Great War on one side they fought the invader on the other they fought each other,

this conflict lasted for 306 year, and out of that mayhem, death and destruction emerged the five duchies,

the battered bruised and on the brink of exhaustion so when invasion finally stopped instead of fighting the other four duchies surrendered to the Dorosians, which led the Dorosians along with their allies, to claim this great sea for themselves.

As of that day, the Five duchies became united in their relationship and have then became one nation known as the United Kingdom of Macria.

It's Rule spread throughout the Macrian sea, and created the hegemony of the Dorosians that lasted for a thousand years before the kingdom finally crumbled into nothing more than an ash heap on the shore,

And through those ashes emerged the dogs, vultures and parasites, who claimed to be the successor of the fallen kingdom.

Now ownerless and without Future,

the Macrian sea once again succumbed to the greed of a small minded people and fell in war, chaos and misery.

Many people died, some were enslaved, many were killed, and some were eaten by predators, as the animals of the sea were also hungry for food. As the sea has always been filled with monsters and scavengers, it was natural to expect this kind of fate for it's inhabitants, but the chaos did not last long with the new threat of invaders from Remusian empire spread

Forcing the new powers to arise and untie the scattered powers of the Macrian seas, and thus came the six kingdoms and their alliance, which was dubbed the Union.

New boundaries were drawn, the borders between the kingdoms were fixed, and so once agin The Macrian isles were divided and ruled by the union councilof kings.

Today’s story will begin with the fall of the Four out Six kingdoms, it is not as if they got destroyed or got annexed by civil, see for centuries it was the nobles and royals that held the power, the wealth and glory, the people loved them and trusted and respected them, but as time passed and their power waned, the commoners rose and took control, they were the ones who ran things, they owned the land, owned the castles and houses, all of which were bought and paid for by the nobles.

As they grew rich and more powerful than ever the people began thinking of themselves as leaders rather than subjects,

And the revolution began to occur first to change were the merchants, see in the Macrian sea the true power was not the armies, land or magic but ships,

so whoever had a ship was powerful man and who ever had a fleet was hegemon and whoever had an armada was a nation.

And as time progressed the nobility were becoming more and more arrogant, more greedy and more powerful, their armies grew larger, more skilled and more brutal, and that very army was used as stick to scare of the merchants who had loaned the nobles the money in order to build the very army in the first place.

The Royals was no better; cause they to hated the Merchants because they hated them for having their own autonomy free from the rule of nobles.

So when the merchants banded together to form a guild, the royals and nobles attacked them, no one accepted the merchants to win but win they did, and they gained the power that was never suppose to be theirs.

So, in a single night like dominos the Rule royals and noble's influence and power crumbled, anyone with any power, wealth and ships began to band together and attack the Royal‘s and nobles in every way they could, so much so that the era of nobles and royals ended.

The.................................................."

After a while, I just simply tuned out
the lectures about the history of the Duchy I had learned from the books I read. It was pointless information anyways
I didn't need to know about what happened to the nobles nor what happened to the dukes and the rest of the kingdoms that once lived here
They may all have been important
But they don't really matter to me.
My thoughts began to drift to the true subject I was interested in MAGIC!