Chapter 13

Payback

 

It hadn’t been long since Reid left. Maybe it wasn’t even a whole minute. It might just be a few seconds that felt like hours…years. Years of…

Silence…

Ever since Reid left her apartment, Vanessa was still standing at the same spot. From the little commotion earlier and a companion, it was back to silence. A small laughter escaped her lips as she wondered if the silence was waiting for the next one that is secretly working with Reid to persuade her and how much was it earning. That meant other than that, the only other things that were accompanying Vanessa and her bottles of alcohol along with the now halved countertop. 

Oh, her thoughts were there too.

Of course, they were never going to leave her. 

Vanessa pulled herself away from the half countertop, staring at its pieces then across the living room where Reid mentioned before, she needed to clean up or it would start piling. Or who knows if she added a little more disgust and trash to turn it into a pigsty, the monster wouldn’t bother coming over. Now it was just to ignore the hushed voices in her head telling her to clean and reconsider her life options. 

“Heh, I would be lucky if I even get more than two seconds without someone or something or even these thoughts from invading my little bubble of peace. Is that too much to ask…especially after that so called smart hunter visited.” Her mind drifted to the conversation with Reid. She wasn’t entirely certain about what she felt of Reid. He was one…persuasive and determined hunter. Which was a good thing and they needed people like that if they ever dare to dream of changing the world back to its origin without the monsters. But it has been some time that…that she wondered if most of the hunters now were as…as dedicated as he was. When there was money involved, of course she wouldn’t be surprised that some of them wished for the monsters to remain so that they would be able to profit off good money from it, worse case is sacrificing their own team. Whether they were or were not it was none of her business. She was out of the field already so she couldn’t care less about what they do or how they do it.

Right?

“There’s no point in sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. It doesn’t matter anymore if I’m not obstructing anyone from their job or mission or whatever great thing they talked about.” 

Her heart was feeling heavy again. Heavy and ice as if it was tugging her veins again. Her hands became cold with a phantomlike sore. The liquor bottle wasn’t cold anymore, so she wasn’t sure where it was coming from. 

Or it was more she didn’t want to admit where it was coming from.

 Although at the same time, she felt heat within her. Heat reconciling with the frustration she felt when she thought about Reid persuading her with what he knew both about the field and her especially with the fact he owns and started his own agency like the little smart-ass he was, or so that was now her impression of him. 

Vanessa grabbed a bottle and poured the vodka in as she intended to do so before Reid invaded and her when her countertop was still in one piece. She stumbled to the other side of the kitchen after pouring to place the bottle on the still standing smaller countertop by the sink. With the bottle out of the way, Vanessa chugged the vodka down her throat as if it was her last time drinking it. 

“What a little know it all…maybe I should get better locks in case he comes again…or I could always bash his head…” 

That might be a little extreme and it could leave me with a record…even though I doubt it would affect me unless the world managed to change overnight, and I need a job. 

“Nh, even if I were to go onto the field again…no there’s no way. A drunk hunter? I’m a little recipe for disaster to happen to the team or maybe his agency or whatever it was.” Vanessa mumbled. The more she thought about it, the more her head hurts.  “Alright that’s enough thinking for now. It’s time for another glass…cup? Whatever on earth that I’m using to drink this.” 

So far, there hadn’t been any attacks from those monsters…yet.

Keyword. 

Yet.

But that didn’t mean there weren’t the attacks just because nothing happened yet. The past few times…weeks…it was just increasing in random attacks. 

“I guess that’s why that little show of was so persistent in me joining but…yeah there are better candidates than I am. But something still doesn’t feel right.” 

The shudder she fell would never leave every time a monster is mentioned.

It was the same feeling when she rejected Reid’s offer.

Why?

Why does she feel that way? 

She wants nothing to do with it but it’s as though her heart isn’t allowing her to follow that path.

It would only be a matter time till there was news of another attack possibly between a group of monster and hunters as usual. But still…they were another set of lives, somewhat innocent lives. They were protecting their people after all, protecting humanity. 

“I don’t think this number of drinks would allow me to skip to the future where we either live or who knows become food…well we kind of are but…how dare they. I needed something to ease my head, do they not know how awful this can be!? How…how traumatizing it can be no matter how ‘mentally prepared’ one is. Especially if you were the only survivor. A child will be praised for surviving something but what about a grown up? Is that why Reid…oh forget it.”

Vanessa let out a sigh, trying to calm herself. The last thing she wanted was to break something else in her house, especially if it was something that would sort of help her like her fridge or entertainment such as her television. Not to mention the cost of the items, now she already had to replace the countertop island and it was another pain to bring someone over to do it. Another sigh escaped her lips when her heart and chest finally cooled down and maintained its rhythm. The temporary ease allowed her to look up at her window across the dining room where the night glimmered, but the darkness was vast as usual. Let her mind wonder. The atmosphere…even without her needing to open the windows, she could feel the calming…soothing atmosphere that the wind greets them good night every time. The closest reassurance they had to sleep in half peace before they wake up to the same nightmare or…

Never.

You’d never know when your last breath would be.

Or when those crystal-clear windows would be stained with crimson blood. 

Just as Vanessa was about to grab the bottle again, she heard the new intel from her police scanner. Thankfully it didn’t start up when Reid was around otherwise it would be another advantage for him to use to better struck up the deal he was offering. She wasn’t exactly supposed to have it with her since she left the force. 

Left? Or maybe the actual term was her getting fired due to being intoxicated on the job. But it wasn’t as if she was on drugs or something, some people just needed a physical item…drinkable item to cope. 

“As if they never had their issues.” Vanessa grumbled before leaning against the counter, crossing his arms, and turning her attention to the scanner. 

 So, she abandoned everything except for that scanner, but since they never demanded it back from her, she didn’t see how she could not keep it. Who knew if she ever needed it, and it gave her constant relevant information about those monsters. 

She did mention she was out of the field, but that didn’t mean…it didn’t mean she didn’t want to be updated. Or so those were her reasons.  

“I wonder what they found out this time…I…I hope it’s nothing bad…just another case of robbery or something, maybe drugs.”

After Reid’s speech, Vanessa wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear about any monster news, any attacks, or deaths. Hopefully not a massacre on another group or worse…innocent people. With his words in mind, Vanessa wonder if she could spiral down, she wonders if she had the strength to listen to the intel. 

“Well, if anything goes wrong…this alcohol will be my best friend.” She took in a deep breath and mentally prepared herself to listen to it. 

“Please let it be a criminal case, or a robbery…even a break in or missing children, no, the missing children’s cases are as worse but…but still…anything that isn’t the monsters” Vanessa internally begged. 

The first sentence that came out from the police scanner already sank her heart deeper than the Atlantic Ocean. Her breath hitched in her throat and her tongue went dry. She was shuddering yet sweating especially from her palms, that condition didn’t change from before. 

“Teenagers”

“Park” 

“Black bag”

“Mauled and shredded into parts and pieces.”

“At night”

“Ambulance”

“Assistance needed”

“Find the families of these young teens”

Vanessa’s fists clenched as she closed her eyes and tried to envision how the attack happened. How would the poor victims feel when they found out that they were about to die with no chances of escape. How they would have screamed for help, but no one came to their aid. What about all their plans…goals? Just…just crashed? Stepped on and eaten without a thought? Of course, those monsters wouldn’t think. What were they doing outside that late? Sure, it was a norm with the monsters but that doesn’t…what…what if they were ready to end things with life. 

Or what if it was worse…what if those teens were just being teens? Sneaking out to have all the fun they can get before the misery of an adult was to be dumped onto them? That was surely worse than taking their own lives.

By the latter, that meant that at least they were ready to die. It wasn’t a good thing no; it was never a good thing. But they would have formed some closure on their own. They may have their own chance and pace to say goodbye to anyone important and release their items at their own will and choice. But if it was…if they merely wanted to have fun as teenagers…

“Oh… no…” Vanessa mourned. That meant their lives were ripped away just like her old group…just like the first attack where they didn’t know what they were up to and happened to be in the worst of the worst-case scenario where they unfortunately happened to be at the wrong place and wrong time. 

Every time she closed her eyes and listened to a new death caused by the monsters where the victim’s body was torn apart, it made her recall how her group died…brutally died. She could hear their screams, see the terror in their faces especially when their eyes widened and how their hearts nearly jumped out of their chests from fear which was unfortunately assisted by the monsters. And those were adults…trained adults who were meant to fight and kill those monsters. They were prepared with weapons, strategies, support and yet they died. And it felt…it wrecked her to survive. But she could never compare herself to those teens who recently died…their fear…whether they have up or tried to hopelessly run. 

“Why…what do you want…” Vanessa muttered as she ran both her hands through her hair as if it could bring her any better reassurance. “They were still kids…what if the, the younger…children are next? We’d be wiped out in no time and those vicious beings are certainly teasing us. They know, we know…everyone knows that they can wipe us within a blink. But they aren’t doing so…so why?”

Her knees were getting weak the more she listened that it became a temptation to grab that police scanner and break it into pieces for giving her that information without preparation or throw it out to the window that gave her a façade of peace. She couldn’t even reach for the liquor to comfort her after listening. Although she couldn’t put all the blame on that scanner when it was just doing what it was meant to which was no difference than any other technology. However, it was probably a bad idea for her to take that thing home but…since she did and Vanessa herself had no idea why…that meant her heart was either trying to relay a message or Vanessa refuses to listen to that message. With all the thoughts in her head coming from every inch and corner, Vanessa went blank. Finally, she allowed herself to drop onto the icy kitchen floor, bringing her legs close but her fists were still clenching with all sorts of emotions supporting it.

Agony…that the memories she never wanted of her first group is constantly returning to her against her will whenever she listened to the intel about new attacks whether its hunter or innocents. 

Frustration…that she couldn’t do anything now. That all she could do was mourn for their losses and drink to temporarily ease the flame and vexation.

Sorrow…that the world is just in despair. That no matter what they try, the monsters still possess strength they never had and could only depend on their intelligence…if there were any?

“Would condolences count? Does it count if I just wish it to the dead or…do I have to come over to the funerals and drop roses…it seems like something I can do…if I wasn’t this drunk…kind of drunk.” 

It was the surprise to her that she had yet to either chug a whole bottle of alcohol or wrecked the entire house starting from the kitchen. She happened to be…calm isn’t the right word, but it was the closest thing she could see herself if a mirror was placed in front of her. Well, a mirror in front would be even worse as she would possibly pick up and empty bottle to throw and have millions of tiny glasses to clean without painting her feet red.

As her mind drifted, the call and scanner are giving her too much memories and recollection since she didn’t have enough strong alcohol to intoxicate her mind and prevent her from thinking about all of these, such as the times when she was out in the field.

“Oh, if it’s not a drink I surely need a sleeping pill…drugs should be the last resort but if I could take them and inhale it, I could probably pick up a weapon and…no…no, never mind. No, I…I am not going back.”

When Vanessa was out in the field before…or more like during the earlier year when the monsters erupt, the common attacks and deaths happened in the woods when hikers were carrying on their duties and passion without disturbing the other side of life…only to find themselves becoming the special in the menu. Or it was deaths from hunters who are actively hunting the monsters. In a normal survival term, Vanessa could have pardoned the smaller monsters for attacking the hunters as a defense mechanism but…in this war. In this unwanted and unfair war, the monsters always started it first. They always have and always will so at this point there was no use is pitying them. 

“If they had just stayed in the woods…they would have lived better and…it would have been easier for us to eliminate them by maybe creating an explosive just for them? But wouldn’t that too affect us? What affects the monsters would also affect us…” Vanessa’s voice trembled. The more the thought about it, the more she spiraled about how hopeless they were. Her pupils too were trembling in the cold from her tears that were too stubborn to fall and frame her face.

“They…they are indeed becoming bolder.” 

The sorrow was slowly filling Vanessa’s blood stream like a cold oil. She looked out at the window, wondering if it was actually clear. That she saw the night sky…and wondered if that was truly the night and not a monster waiting for her to come close before it invited her into its mouth and her new home of his stomach. 

Now, the monsters decided to expand their hunt onto the innocent ones. The innocent people in town who were doing their day-to-day activities, working, schooling, and contributing to society without even thinking of touching the monster’s homes in the woods. It was as if their efforts were useless. The first groups’ efforts were just a joke to them. 

“Maybe when they saw us…they knew we wouldn’t stand a chance against them even though we kept upgrading out weapons and burned the midnight oil to find a weakness or even some peace to form with them. But…but we ended up becoming clowns in their humiliating circus.” Vanessa stared blankly at the broken countertop. Her heart both felt numb yet…there was a hidden rage of flame still trying its best to spark. 

And it was close to its success. 

“Do we…do we need to recruit teenagers now? Then what? Mothers? Pets?” Vanessa laughed at her own ridiculous thought as she ran her hand through her hair again. This was why she needed to drown in alcohol. Drown her whole brain and soul it in to forget and not come up with these absurd thoughts of the future. 

“They surely are taking their sweet time to torment us too…”

Sure, the attacks were recent. However, it was the first time her town where the monsters attack since the first which was nearly three years ago. There were still other towns who were still safe and clean of any monster’s footsteps but…it wouldn’t take long. 

The sorrow she felt before gradually faded after it coated her internal veins and heart. Slowly and carefully, rage of heat filled her. The flame that was trying to push their way out of her finally found a loophole to break through. The more she thought about the cases, the death and the incidents made her shivering breath into hard rapid breath as if she was losing her patience.

And indeed, she was.

Vanessa took a deep breath. She inhaled…then exhaled, she tried repeating for a least five minutes but the next thing that flashed by her eyes was when she unconsciously grabbed a metal tumbler and threw it harshly towards the living room till a loud clang was heard and the floor slightly vibrated with the tumbler. 

“Okay…okay calm down…” Vanessa tried reassuring herself. If she was in the field, she would have either flipped the monster which should be good news or for the bad news it would have been the next cause of the…next group’s death. 

 “They can handle it…they are good at this…the other hunters…but if they were…” Vanessa was starting to doubt their strength and capabilities as if her own were of a match. “If they were that good the killings shouldn’t have increased this much, and innocents won’t be affected…now each town is going to keep living in fear!” 

A huff escaped her lips, and she stood up immediately only to have a raging heading greeting her and the bile sending a greeting card up her throat. Her ears rang and her vision blurred that she had to grip hard onto the countertop by the sink to maintain her balance. Her body was shivering again even though she felt the rage heating her like a fireplace in winter. She quickly switched on the tap of the sink and splashed her face with cold water in hopes to wake herself up. For nearly five minutes, she continued to wash herself and at a point she even moved her face under the sink, hoping for a better result. 

Indeed, she managed to ease the unwanted headache and hangover but not the rage. It was far too early to let it ease…she doubts that it would ease anytime sooner until…

“I…” She paused in her words. Her brain was thinking of something else, yet her mouth and heart still refused to say it. It was a little internal debate within her. From what she heard in the intel to her thoughts about the situation and finally what she ended up doing. “I need another drink…” Vanessa muttered and looked around the newest stash of bottles that she recently bought and wanted to ease herself till that so called self-creating agency hunter named Reid decided to pay her a visit…by annoying her and causing her brain to…to contemplate what he told her. Contemplate his message and the rationality behind it. In a way it did make sense but…Vanessa was fighting against herself. 

“Another drink…let’s see…which one is stronger…which should I use to relief.” At this point after more thoughts, instead of her body shivering, it was now shuddering in anger as if she was trying to push what had erupted out of its cage back into its origin like how they should have with those monsters. 

“Let’s try…this one.” Vanessa was still lost in her thoughts despite her focus on the liquor. She flicked the bottle cap with ease even though a normal person could never do so. She leaned against the counter, ignoring the calls in her head. As she was about to grab the bottle, paused as if a new thought interrupted her. 

Who knew if that was finally the key to unlock her heart and allow her to find true closure for her grief and guilt. 

Before it could escalate any further and quickly grabbed the neck of the bottle. Unfortunately, Vanessa forgot one important factor about herself. The immense strength she had. The moment her fingers wrapped tightly around the bottle and once her fingers met her thumb…

CLINK

The glass shattered under her grip before she could even bring the tip to her lips. That may have been the last straw to her anger. The remains of the bottle dropped onto the edge of the countertop near the sink and the poor alcohol she spent on spilled all over her floor and a little dripped onto her shoes and her shirt. Thankfully it was a little splash otherwise she would become a walking fire hazard. As she realized what happened, her hand shook further as if she was attempting her best to retain that anger. Her upper lips could even feel the heat that she breathed out from her nose. 

Now she wondered if this was what the monsters felt…the power and strength they had. And compared to her, they were somewhat smart enough to use it to their advantage and entertainment while here she was drowning herself in the latest episode of depression.

“Monsters and monsters and monsters…. why are our lives revolved around them…and how did…how did these abilities came to be? Why couldn’t they have come earlier? Are we meant to be teased with our lives?” 

She kept trying to do some breathing exercises as before to not cause another ruckus. It was a good thing that her neighbors underneath and beside her had yet to complain. Vanessa was expecting a knock especially since she snapped her countertop in half. It must have made quite the banging and it surely wasn’t the pleasant alarm at this late hour. 

“ARGHH!” Vanessa yelled out her frustration and threw the shards aside that it scattered all over the edge of the countertop and the floor to the empty bottles and her halved countertop island. She was about to flick the tap open but realized she might break it and she didn’t have any leftover patience to deal with another damage in her supposed comfort zone.

“This is getting annoying…” Vanessa grumbled and stomped out, heading towards her out of her apartment fuming with anger.