I was so excited to spend the next day with Liz that it took me a couple of hours to get to sleep. When I woke up I felt like I had barely slept for five hours but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep so I got ready for the day instead. As I was going about my business I thought about what I did during festivals previously.

When I was young, before I had made any real friends, I would always be forced to spend the festivals with my family and even before they got overbearing I hated it. When I was five I was deemed old enough to help in making the offerings and was forced to learn how to carve wood. About five seconds after I started carving for the first time I cut myself and started crying but my dad just told me that boys don’t cry.

Over what felt like hours my hand was cut so much that it was more scab than skin, at least from what I remember. I wanted to stop so badly but I was afraid of getting shouted at if I voiced my desire so I just kept on going. I remember trying to make a carving of a songbird that I would see regularly out of my window but it turned out terribly and I got told off again for not trying hard enough.

As if how hard I tried had any effect on how it ended up looking, it was my first time making anything and I was five. That cemented my disdain for woodcarving and for a few years after that I would beg to do something different but I was told to stop whining about it. When I was around ten I realised that they wouldn’t listen to me so I stopped asking to do something else and just tried to get it finished as fast as possible.

It was why I didn’t bring it up with Liz, I knew that she wouldn’t know about the festivals and hoped that it would pass without her finding out about it and forcing me to do something I really didn’t want to. Thinking about it now that was a stupid thing to think, she was nothing like my parents. She actually respected my boundaries and listened to me, I am glad she found out about it.

I had finished getting ready and even put on a simple long sleeved burnt orange dress and some tights that Liz had made me but she was still not up so I went up to her bedroom and knocked on it. All I got was a groggy mumble out of her saying she would be down in a minute which I couldn’t help but think was cute.

I went downstairs and had some bread with some emiquat jam for breakfast while waiting for her to get ready. The taste of the jam brought back better memories of spending time with my friends. By the time I was fifteen my friend group had solidified and I was allowed to spend the festival with them instead of my parents, although I still had to carve something before the festival.

I smiled as I thought back to when we used to run around town playing games together or pulling pranks on each other. My smile didn’t last long as it turned into melancholy as I missed them. I wish I could have stayed with them but I couldn’t keep on living under my parents roof and I couldn’t rip them from their lives.

Maybe in a few years when my parents gave up on me and my transition made me unrecognisable I would return to my hometown and find them again. If Liz had grown strong enough by the time I left then I would love introducing her to my friends, hopefully they would remember me. I spent the next ten minutes reminiscing about my friends before Liz came downstairs wearing a light green dress that went really well with her purple hair.

She was still quite groggy and with bed hair, but as we had breakfast together over the next ten minutes she slowly woke up and fixed her hair. Before we left for the festival we set a bunch of the jam on the windowsills as decoration. The jam by itself wasn’t much but Liz had made incredibly artistic jars that made them look a hundred times better.

As we left the dungeon, into the real world. Chilly wind ran through my hair as I looked up at the sky and saw a few clouds gently rolling past. Luckily they weren’t big or plentiful enough to make me worried about rain but it still made the atmosphere a bit morose. We were both excited to see the festival so we quickly walked to the village plaza where a bunch of the villagers had set up booths.

As we got there we saw that practically the whole village had turned up and was having fun. Even most of the adventurers had taken the day off from either training or delving the dungeon, which was incredibly rare. We spent a couple hours walking around the plaza looking at all the pretty decorations as Liz had never been to an autumn festival before.

She was like a little kid excitedly looking at something new and asking the nearest person about them. As soon as her curiosity was sated she would get distracted by something else and run off to that. Watching her brought a smile to my face, unfortunately I couldn't fully immerse myself in her quest for knowledge as I kept on noticing people giving me weird looks.

At first I thought it might just be my anxiety taking things out of proportion but the looks I noticed were more numerous and longer than usual to be a coincidence. It wasn’t everyone but it was enough to activate my anxiety especially since the majority of the people staring at me were adventurers. I didn’t know what it meant but it was definitely overwhelming me and I was about to run back home to safety.

Just as I was about to turn around something came over me and instead I stepped closer to Liz and grabbed her hand. For some reason I instantly felt better, as if as long as I was close to her nothing would be able to hurt me, like she was my safe space. This realisation confused me as, even though we had grown closer, I didn’t think I had been around her enough to grow this attached.

When I grabbed her hand she stopped mid-sentence, looked up at me with a weird expression on her face that made me anxious that I had crossed a line. Thankfully she seemed to come to a realisation as she gave me a smile and went back to talking with one of the villagers about a decoration that had piqued her interest. I wasn’t sure what the first look meant but seeing her smile clearly indicated that she wasn’t upset with me.

She quickly finished her conversation with the villager before silently pulling me over to a bench. As she sat down on the bench she gave me a sombre smile as she patted next to where she was sitting, ‘Hey, are you feeling alright? We can head back home if you want.’ She said with a bit of worry in her voice, ‘I am always willing to listen to you.’

‘It’s just that I noticed a bunch of people staring at me all and I don’t know why.’ I replied as I sat down next to her. Seeing her worried for me caused a whole storm of emotions to blossom in my heart but I pushed on to assuage her fears. 'But I felt much better when I started to hold your hand so I would like to stay out a bit longer.’

‘I enjoyed watching you run around taking in all the new sights like a newborn kitten.’ This caused Liz to blush and I soon followed as my brain caught up with what my mouth had let out. ‘W-wait, I didn’t mean to say that last bit. Please forget I said that.’ I stammered out, trying to take back what I had said. Unfortunately it was too late and by the look on her face I doubt Liz would forget it any time soon.

‘I-it's fine, don’t worry about it.’ Liz stammered back, also a mess. She took a few deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down before properly replying to me. ‘I am glad I help you feel safe around me. I could go have a talk with whoever is making you anxious if that would help. Either way we can stay out as long as you want to.’

‘What? No, please, I am fine just staying with you. You don’t have to confront anyone.’ I said immediately, a spike of anxiety coursing through me as the thought of confronting some random people for something that could be nothing went through my mind. ‘Just stay by my side please.’ I softly pleaded

Seeing me have such a strong reaction shocked Liz for a second before she just nodded ‘Ok, if that’s what you want let's go back to exploring.’ We were getting up as my stomach decided it was the perfect time to complain about not getting anything new to digest since breakfast which caused Liz to let out a giggle as I blushed. ‘After we get something to eat though by the sounds of it.’

It was around noon so we went over to a nearby booth that was selling some fried sausages covered with a savoury sauce and served with a small roll all on a rectangular wooden plate. We got two servings and ate them while walking around the festival. I thought it tasted quite nice and from Liz’s expression she clearly agreed. We quickly finished our lunch and went back to exploring the festival.

Except now that I knew that Liz didn’t mind me being a bit clingy I had wrapped our left arms around each other while my right hand held her left hand. It was incredibly comforting and after five minutes I had forgotten all about my earlier anxiety. We spent the rest of the day like that until the sun started to set when we went home and had dinner before spending the rest of the night in the living room cuddling and reading our books together.

I don’t know when it happened but I was so exhausted from walking around all day and felt so comfortable next to Liz that I fell into a deep sleep before I even had a chance to go up to my bedroom. At the time I was completely unaware of the conflicting emotions such a simple act had caused to go through Liz.