The monster threw Joseph’s corpse heavily on the ground and its body proceeded to melt down like wax. All my fatigue disappeared as I found the uncanny strength to get the hell away from it and very fast. Even if I knew it was not what I should be paying attention to, I couldn’t control my strange urge to look back once and glimpse at the nasty puddle of flesh and blood growing on the earth. Once I did so, there was a single thought left in my head: why in the hell was a Doppelganger appearing on the first quest?

It shouldn’t have been like that. No matter how hard the tutorial could be, a Doppelganger was a monster of a much higher caliber than what novice characters could take. There was a limit to the pool of things that could go randomly wrong, and this one wasn’t in it.

The creature’s slimy body swallowed Joseph. In the midst of all that, both Alex and Amelia tried to fend it off with their spears and abilities, but it was all useless.

I ran up on a large root and crashed on a spiky bush. I didn’t even process the impact nor the pain of being poked by the blade-like foliage. Thinking about it, there was no use running without a clear direction. I mimicked Joseph’s action of activating the communicator to try and contact others, pressing some buttons in a specific order.

...

....

Fuck! Why isn’t it working? I tried to recall how exactly he did it and tried again. Finally, the image of the area map showed up and I felt some relief. Still, the sense of urgency hadn’t left me.

“Team 6 is- Uh... Contact Central, I’m from Team 6 and we’ve got a fucking Doppelganger. We need help and we need it now! Please tell me how to send the coordinates!”

...

“Central, do you hear me? Hey! Is anyone with me?”

As if mocking at my desperation, the hologram stayed up for a few seconds before phasing out into nothingness.

“...Get away from me!”

I heard a rough shout from the distance, which completely disrupted my activities. Sounds like Edward, I hazily thought, and again I faced towards my teammates who chose to battle. I had completely forgotten that Edward was in a state that not even a necromancer could take up from the ground. Unless...

I regained my hope: if Amelia could deny the reality where Edward was exhausted, or the one where the Doppelganger assimilated into Joseph, then there was a real chance to fight. Hastily getting up, I thought to return and prepare to help with a Deadly Strike at the ready when my eyes focused on the situation at hand.

How... Just how did that happen?

My attention snapped into right order as I tried to make sense of the many system notifications that had accumulated from the party window, leaving me astonished.

[Amelia Wintersong has used a skill combo: Deny reality x2

Mental exertion: +150% +75%

Effects: Joseph Sebastian Smith: Dead becomes Alive; Edward Rocksword: -56% physical exertion.

]

[Amelia Wintersong is affected by System shutdown

System shutdown: Remains unconscious for 3 months. Treatments are only 23% effective]

... Why did you make this choice? I thought in disappointment and anger. Do you think you are God to bring someone back from the dead?

This message was from moments ago. Yet, the only Joseph I saw was the one on top of Edward, evading all attacks without doing any effort... It was not like people hadn’t tried before, but reviving a dead character only brought him back to the second before his life was wrung out. In game terms, he would be 1 HP with all the previous statuses, like poison or bleeding.

The worst revive ever.

And I had to repeat: Do you think you are a fucking God? To heal Edward from his fatigue was different from relieving his body from its effects. One is more costly than the other, and healing is always inefficient exertion-wise... Besides, what can someone who still feels his body sluggish at more than 100% do in this situation? He can’t even look for his booze. 

It was at that moment that I truly felt the difference between controlling a group of characters in a turn-based RPG, in comparison to real life where I was feeling everything and had no direct influence on others. Those weren’t “characters” anymore, that I could freely and efficiently position according to their best roles, with the occasional unpredictability from their traits.

They were real people, kids who, like myself, were on their first deployment to the field. They would fail, make mistakes, questionable decisions, plus they had no access to the information players had. Not from enemies, not from allies, not even their own... But in the rpg, a game over was merely frustrating. You learnt from your mistakes, you got good, you did better next time.

Here, there wouldn’t be a next time.

I wasn’t making the choices for everyone and I couldn’t realistically instruct them in the middle of combat. There was no player or voice from the other side guiding us... Or if there was, he was a complete noob.

Somehow, after that rollercoaster of emotions, I recovered part of my mind's clarity. I noticed a hazy line of blue text forming on the transmitter, so I concentrated to read it.

[Integrated Communication Device (Hacking)

1. Stablish communication line;

2. Send signal;

3. Hack into the Main System (25% chance)

4. Disable signal (33% chance).

(Concentrate to display more options)]

... How do I even “click”? Without an option, I thought “1”, but at the same time I wondered about the other numbers. It was simply how the mind worked, at least my mind, constantly bouncing around.

Nothing happened.

“One! Select one!”

...

Why is this so goddamn complicated? I tried physically touching it as I saw, but still the same response.

I heard a loud splattering noise, interrupting my thoughts, and I nervously looked back at the scene.

[Joseph Sebastian Smith used a skill: Demand offering

Effects: Executes a target much weaker than you and gain status Apex predator based on its quality]

Joseph’s muscular arm was completely embedded in Edward’s chest and dislodging every bone and muscle on the way. Even from this position I could picture the look on his face, full of the horror of impeding and brutal death, without any chance of reverting the results.

Shit... That’s why I told them to run away. I reasoned, failing to understand that blaming their helplessness was merely to alleviate the weight brought from my cowardice and indecisiveness.

[Joseph Sebastian Smith gains Apex predator (lvl 5)

Apex predator (lvl 5): Enhances sight, hearing and sense of smell by 180%. Boosts physical strength and agility by 450%. Gain Regeneration every time a target is killed. Lasts 180 seconds.

Regeneration: recovers 1.3%+5 Max HP every five seconds.]

“You fucker... And you’re telling me this shit is all permitted by him?”

[Alexander Bloodstone encountered a Proof of Faith!

Conviction increased by 1

Alexander's Assignable points increased by 2]

Alexander shouted and advanced again. Idiot! If you have any common sense, back off and call for help! Why did none of you think of that? I gritted my teeth in frustration. I was really just looking for someone else to blame for my impeding death, and since I later thought it was too lame to blame who I’ve always known as a game character, I could only blame the developers for making this absurd thing.

It was funny that, thinking back, there were no updates for this game since day one. No mod compatibility. No nothing. It was very strange that hackers couldn’t get a good enough program to crack the files completely and reach the end game or beat the boss. Now I had some strange appreciation from the fact that I half “understood” why there was never any news from the developers. Perhaps this was some kind of huge interdimensional conspiracy I was unaware of. 

Though I knew there was no hope, for real, I still clung to the slim chance that someone could help me. I tried my hardest to erase the negativity swirling in my mind, the sounds of battle and the fear creeping up on my heart. Just to concentrate on that number 1.

...

....

“Argh! Kuh...”

Concentrate, damn it!

...

“Kuh... You- kuhoh!”

Don’t look!

...

....

.....

[Hacking complete. Communication established]

“Hello? Is there anybody?” I hastily said. Looking at the monster slowly walking away, I took the opportunity to hide myself, something I knew would be absolutely useless, but who knew?

“Central online, make your statement”

I glanced at the Doppelganger passing by Alexander’s remains and landing right next to Amelia. He lifted his right foot and carefully positioned it on her head.

I averted my eyes and heard a disgusting and short pop, not much different from a thrown watermelon. I suppose my mind was not so weak since I could still think that kind of absurd thing in such a situation.

“Central online, are you okay?”

...

I choked, suppressing a sob. 

“... Everyone’s dead.”

Shit, when did I start to cry? The barrage of emotions I’ve been feeling one at a time seemed to hit all at the same moment. I had so many things I wanted to say, but when the time came, that was all that I could think of.

That thing killed everyone...

“Student, calm down. There is a team on the way to your coordinates. Please describe the situation”

Hearing such a collected voice on the other side, some people might have been affected by it, taking a deep breath and responding calmly. But I could only find it ridiculous given the circumstances. Still, I thought they at least ought to know what they were dealing with.

“It’s a Doppelganger. It took over Team 14 and now our team. It’s disguised as instructor Joseph Smith.”

“Okay, can you describe what exactly is a Doppelganger? Do you have useful footage?”

“... Haha”

I genuinely laughed at the premise of the game. Doppelgangers weren’t in the monster database and many people thought it was a bug. I guess not.

“Student, can you respond? Do you know how to access the footage?”

“... Shut up”, I whispered. So low that I myself would have doubted that I spoke.

“Student, can you repeat what you said? I’d like to conf-“

“I said shut the fuck up!”

[Communication shut down]

Why is humanity so incompetent if technology is so advanced in this world? Didn’t we reach this place in under three minutes? Why does it take so long to notice something wrong? Can’t you install some sensors or cameras or spy with satellites... Anything? Is it all a facade?

I really hated myself for thinking so many useless stuff until the end. But really, it didn’t matter anyway. The one with the trait Brave died miserably, would it be so surprising if a Coward followed along?

My mind was so jumbled up that I didn’t notice when the thing approached. I held my trembling legs with my arms and looked down, not wishing to look at it.

My whole 23 years of life, I had never gone through anything extreme. I never had to suffer for lack of food, water or clothing. I never had to sleep with my head covered by nothing but the night sky, or worry that the rain would dig into the house. I had not inherited any large debt that I would’ve spent decades of my life slaving to pay, nor did I have to take responsibility as a boy to nurture a family member or myself. I never had to go through war, or see a loved one suffer horribly. I never had sickness or disability so severe that it gave me extreme pain or interfered with daily life... And I’ve never had to fight to defend myself or save my own skin.

I was just a guy living a life without turmoil...

I felt hands grabbing my head gently, maybe the beast was trying to assert itself of how much force was needed to destroy my brains. I tightened the grasp on my legs and let the tears in my eyes flow away.

...Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Though I’ve never been a saint, I was certainly not a bad guy either. I always helped people out if I was able to. So why? Just because I had completed a stupid achievement of a stupid game no one played anymore? No matter how I thought of it, that didn’t make any fucking sense...

[Warning: Someone has hacked into your system

Control temporarily lost]

... What?

“Do you believe it is fair for you people to play with our lives as a little pastime? Forcing us to do battle against all odds of victory, allowing us to die over and over and over... And for what? To alleviate your boredom?”

A melancholic voice jolted me awake. When I looked up, the Doppelganger had not let me go for a second, but Joseph’s buff physique had been covered by a layer of... Pixels, forming the dark figure of a woman.

“Fret not child, you still have a lot to learn”.

The pixel sheet seemed to be washed away by the wind, dispersing in all directions and causing abnormalities in what I saw. It was like I was staring at reality for its skeleton of data.

“Wait! Marian!”

It took less than two seconds for her body to vanish, and I was staring dead center into Joseph’s inhumane eyes.

[System integrity recovered. All functions back to normal]

Crack

...

....

.....

“...Many will die, but with each sacrifice humanity grows stronger and closer to the truth. Do not be discouraged, for...”

When I recovered conscience, the first thing I observed was Principal Ashton’s old shrivelled face. The man’s mouth moved like two pieces of dried fruit moving up and down against each other. But I could barely understand what the guy was saying before a double attack of headache and nausea struck me.

[Synchronization complete, Inheritance accepted]

[Marian’s Quest status trigger: Spirit permanently reduced by 1]

“Urgh... Heuh... Gah!”

I couldn’t hold it in and vomited on the floor. It was all gastric juice, but somehow I couldn’t feel the unpleasant taste in my mouth typical of such incidents.

“Hey, are you okay?” I heard a boy's voice and a hand was extended towards me. I wasn’t one to reject help, no matter how little. He lifted me up and went back to his position.

Memories had flooded inside of my head all of a sudden. I felt the anxiety and sense of urgency when I confronted the Cockatrice alongside the others, my unease regarding the difficulty of the hunt and my inexperience, my exhaustion after reaching a pitiful limit of physical exertion. Then I felt myself being washed over by periodical waves of relief and stress, until I remembered the gruesome death of everyone, my helplessness, selfishness, anger, desperation... And Marian’s cold voice before the dull sound of my neck being snapped.

Feeling bitter, I read the description of Marian’s Quest status effect, that I hadn’t paid attention to before.

[Every time you die, you permanently lose one point of Spirit and are brought back to a point in the past.]

I was feeling very gloomy at that moment. As if to reflect my state, the lights went out and I was about to be swallowed by the ground, like before.

I didn’t know if I could call myself lucky to be still alive, or unfortunate that I would be forced to go through that hell again. Or rather, proceed with this insanity.

I was seriously unwilling to participate in that deadly game, without any moment of respite, no time to plan. Just suddenly thrown in the battlefield and left to my own devices. But I wasn’t completely without hope.

“Marian, are you there? I know you can reach out to me”

...

“Marian, is it about your suffering? If so, then you don’t need to go on with this, alright? I get it already, but I’m not the one who created this! I thought it was just a game...”

...

“Hear me out, you brought me in, you can bring me back, right? Do you know the developers? I could contact them and see if I can change something. That’s much better than having me trapped here, isn’t it? Even if I can’t find them, I can hire someone to look into the code and alter the game. We can change it for the better!”

...

“Okay, is this plan too far-fetched? But with your intelligence and knowledge and me on the other side, I’m sure we can work something out!”

...

Words flowed from my mouth endlessly, but to no avail. The dark ride on the Underground felt much longer than my first time, probably because I was anxious about not being answered. But I felt like I had little choice but to continue.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know! I didn’t know what I was doing and I’m sorry. I’m not kidding, if I made you guys go through this experience for so many years, I’m really, really sorry. But please, if I knew what was up, I wouldn’t have done it!”

...

“...What do you want? Is it enough for you to have me suffer here an unnameable amount of time? Oh wait, I remember. I remember. You said you’d like to see for how long I held onto my beliefs. But that’s not about me, but the character, uh... Person Nathaniel Bloodstone... So what do you want me to prove? Do you just want me to die multiple times? Or is there something else?... You should at least make it clear!”

...

....

.....

Bang

I punched the wall out of anger and frustration.

“Hahahaha..."

...

"...Ha"

...

"...Fuck you dude... Fuck this...”

As my legs lost strength, I let my body slide to the ground, feeling like a complete idiot. What the hell was I doing, trying to chat up a game character, and not any one but the psychotic maniac of a last boss. Sitting down while hugging my legs, my mind wandered to the moment just before I decided to finish my game run.

It wasn’t a rainy day, like in the movies. It was actually quite sunny, the town I lived in was pretty hot most of the time, too. It kinda sucked, I liked the cold better. My reasoning was that at least you could wear warm clothes and drink something hot to be at ease. If it was too hot and there was no air conditioning, then what? I didn’t think I could shower all the time and drink something cold frequently.

So I was stuck at the office with a broken air con, doing the job I was frankly completely tired of and feeling uncomfortable because of the weather. I would have moved elsewhere if I knew I was gonna feel so stifled. Then I barely clocked off and my cellphone rang. It was my girlfriend.

I thought we had some good chemistry going. We had been dating for almost a year, shared similar interests, had been introduced to each others’ families and friends, and our schedules matched up. She was fun to hang out with, interesting, beautiful and intelligent. I specially liked how she smiled, it was pretty warm. I've always thought she was pretty cool...

“Huh, what a fucking loser, to be singing praises for the girl who dumped you without rime or reason. And it’s not even been a day”

...How would she feel if she knew that I vanished? That I didn't exist in her world anymore? Or did I? Maybe Nathaniel Bloodstone was in the body of Nathan and I was being punished with what I unknowingly did to him, for some fucking reason. Why was such a horrible game even allowed to exist? Who was the cosmic entity that cooked this up?

What about my parents, my friends, my co-workers? The lady next door who feeds the cat when I'm away? Will I be able to see them again? To laugh at their jokes, to worry about their mishaps, to go out for a drink, to play games together... I probably wouldn’t play games ever again. Only chess and in person.

The doors slid open and I was still on the ground, tears continuously flowing.

“Uh, hey kid, you alright? Are you worried about the practical lesson? Don’t beat yourself over the Principal’s lecture, if anything happens on the field you can count on me”

I looked up and saw Joseph flexing his muscles and giving me a reassuring smile. He walked up to me and offered a hand, which didn’t fit much with his appearance. I found goat beards a bit funny.

“C’mon lad, we got this”

I hid my face and passed my hand over it, trying as best as I could to erase the traces of me crying.

Then I got up.

Perhaps because he was so close, I could clearly see some of his information without having to focus clearly.

[Belief: Only the strong survive (C-)]

“... Only the strong survive, right?”

Joseph raised his eyebrows for a moment, then his smile got wider, with a little touch of wickedness.

“That’s right, so you can’t slack off, ya hear me? You gotta be strong"

I finished normalizing my breath and somehow managed to smile back at him, even though it was kind of forced.

“Yeah, I just have to get strong”

I tried riding the wave, but as expected, it was not so easy to adapt into the situation of a death game.

... And strong wasn’t enough.

I had to get very, very fucking strong.