[WARNING: HEAVY MONOLOGUE-ING AHEAD. Also, a self made song. its short. Feedback Appreciated.]

The Base. 0700 hours. Tuesday. Garage. #0: Noir Pov

It was a day like any other, Except today destiny hit me in the face like an angry dame after her bottom got Slapped. I had heard about the new intakes a few days ago, And one in particular piqued my interest. A boy, A Fella, But they'd taken what made him a him... Able to speak to these Computers and Mechanical devices with his thoughts, But a bit Broken... Like Glass after a run-in with a Baseball. I heard he was set up in the Garage, Helping old Tank with the maintenance on the Buzzard, Our Flying Machine. I ran into Tank on his way out, heading to get a part from storage... He told me to follow my ears, so i did... A soft music, sweet but raspy... Like A frickin Angel that smokes 10 packs of Cigarettes a day... Intruiged, i followed the music, and came upon the most beautiful person id ever seen. It was the Technopath boy, But he must've been De-masculinized before puberty, because he certainly didn't look like a mid-teenaged boy... His left arm was an amalgam of machinery, his right eye a glowing red camera lens, But his fair skin, One green eye, and long Hair were breathtaking... Prettier than a girl, if Im Honest... I couldn't move, Except to duck behind a shipping crate, my heart pounding like an entire parades worth of drums... And that enchanting voice, singing sweet, smokey words... 

"Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Oh! My Ex girlfriend was a giant Fighting robot, A giant shiny Robot, Pretty giant Robot! Yes my Ex girlfriend was a giant Killer Robot, And i hope next Girlfriend is one too... 

Oh My New Girlfriend is also a giant Robot, I built her to be Super Hot, my Sexy Giant Robot! Yes i love my Giant Fighting Robot, I bet you wish you had one too...

But You pissed off all the giant fighting robots, Said they were just junk heaps, then leered at them like a creep! Yes you pissed off My Giant Fighting Robot and now my Robot's After you! YOU SUCK!"

The Kid was barely mumbling, but i heard it loud and clear... He has a fetish for mecha, i think... I decided to introduce myself.

"Good Evening, Kid. The names Noir, but you can call me zero. Number Zero. You ever need help finding anytging, come to me, I'm the best in the buisness..." I handed him my card. "Well, See ya later, Sweet-cheeks, I've got cases to solve" And Sweet they were, i mused as i walked away... Ive seen Asses of men and Asses of Women, But THAT was the best Ass ive Ever Seen, And my parents were Donkey Breeders.

M#66 Pov

I was confused. The strange girl in the detective costume handed me a slip of paper then left. I was afraid she'd heard my embarrassing little song... Its mostly nonsense, but it helps me focus. The big-loud-man, who told me to call him Tank, came back at that time, And saw my dumbfounded face...

"WHAT IS WRONG, LITTLE MAN? DID #0 DO SOMETHING WEIRD?"

I looked at the paper in my hand, Then handed it to him... he laughed.

"SO LITTLE NOIR TOOK A LIKING TO YA? HAHAHAHA!"

The paper, cut into the shape of a buisness card, was covered in crayon. A drawing of a badge, next to the words: Noir Numero Zero, Private Dick. We find whats lost, or your money back.

"That Girl was Odd. not that i have room to talk... she kept mumbling under her breath."

"AH, SHES DOING A MONOLOGUE, LIKE AN OLD DETECTIVE FILM."

"ah... okay... Can you tell her i dont appreciate being told I have the nicest ass shes ever seen. And that i could hear her as she left."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW I WILL CALL YOU ASSBOY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"please don't."