This is certainly an interesting way to die.
Falling into a star. Who knew that this would be my end? What a shitshow.
My name is Alexander Wayward and I am going to die.
As the outer plating of my ship melts, my mind wonders about what led to this situation.
How did I fuck up this bad?
Did I fuck it up during the jump? No, I double and triple-checked the coordinates.
Did the drive core cook off during transit? Again no, temps were stable…
So what in the fuck happened!?
I mentally ran through each possibility. Reaching no conclusion in my quest to figure out which fuck up led to this…
Fuck… What a mess…
I guess god hates me. It's really the only possible answer. Goddammit, I wish I had never taken this job.
Become an explorer they said! It will be the experience of a lifetime they said! What a fucking mess. Honestly what drove me to get this fucking job? The pay is shit. The hours are shit. It’s fucking lonely…
Soundlessly the ship broke apart around me. The heat of the star melting metal and cooking electronics. I sat quietly in the cockpit of my small explorer ship, the UNE Beyond Hardship. I knew it was only a matter of time before I too would be melted. In preparation for the inevitable, I played with the energy pistol in my lap. I planned to go out on my terms instead of the hot, slow death that inevitably awaited me.
Poor girl. I'm so sorry I’ve treated you. I'm pretty sure it was my fuck up that led to us being stuck in this fucking situation.
I put my hand on the console of my cockpit as if trying to soothe the half-melted slag that was my ship and ran through all the possibilities again. Then once more I began to observe the thing that was trying to kill me.
It is really beautiful though. There are worse ways to die I guess. When I go to hell at least I will have a great fucking story to tell.
I marvelled at the ebbs and flows of the surface, the tech in my helmet letting me see with great clarity the thing that was about to kill me. I watched as great plumes of fire erupted from the surface of the great beast.
For several minutes, I simply stared at it. Making peace with my death…
Then wordlessly I reached for the pistol in my lap. Aimed it towards the star’s surface and as my last act of defiance against a cruel and uncaring universe, I pulled the trigger.
Energy shot out from the barrel of the pistol. Breaking through the cracked window in front of me and flying off to eventually impact the star.
Go fuck yourself you big ball of hydrogen.
I stared at it. As if I was waiting for it to answer back. When no answer came I returned to my brooding.
Sorry, mom… I don't think I'm going to survive this one…
I waited several minutes. Watching as the star got closer and closer. Then as before I picked up the pistol in my lap and turned up the energy setting to max.
If I'm going to do this I might as well try to give myself the least painful death. I sure as shit don't want to give this fucker the satisfaction of killing me.
“Go fuck yourself! You gigantic cunt!” I screamed in my helmet.
I put the barrel of the pistol to my temple and slowly began to apply pressure to the trigger.
Is this it? Does my long and illustrious career end because of one massive fuck up and a great big shitheel of a star?
Then like a bolt of lightning inspiration struck me.
Fuck! Maybe I can get the fuck out of here!
I threw away the laser pistol and unlocked my seatbelt. I scampered up into the back of my ship towards where the drive core was located.
Maybe if I overload the drive core I can warp myself to a section of empty space. It’s fucking suicide, but it's the only chance I've got.
I rushed to the back of the ship as it slowly got hotter. Each second felt like an eternity. My heads-up display showing the steadily rising temperatures. As the Beyond Hardship began to disintegrate around me. A plan began to form in my mind. Like a man possessed I ran through the tight corridors of my now doomed ship. Climbed through a hatch and arrived in the engine room. There in the middle of the room sat a large spherical object.
Hell yes! The drive core is still intact.
I began ripping apart the walls. Fortunately, a portion of the backup generators were still active.
Overloading the drive core is going to fry most of the backup generators. If I'm lucky one will survive or at least be intact enough for repairs.
The ever-building heat inside my suit pushed me to work faster. Unplugging and rewiring. I was redirecting all of the ship's power to the drive core. I was going to do the jump of the millennia or go out with a bang.
I worked harder than I ever worked before. The desperation of the situation spurred me onward at a breakneck speed. The ship’s breakdown increased in speed as I worked. Soon the engine room’s plating began tearing apart, slowly revealing the great beast that wanted to boil me alive.
As I finished the last of my preparations I took a glance at the fiery demon. In my hands a button that would overload the drive core once pressed.
For a second I stared at it. Then I raised a middle finger at the great big plasma motherfucker and pressed the button.
As the core powered up it seemed as if reality started warping. Have you ever looked at one of those optical illusions that you stare at for about a minute? Well, imagine that but a hundred times more psychedelic and terrifying. As the core powered up I could swear that in spite of the hard vacuum surrounding my suit I could hear the damn thing screaming at me. Then the universe screamed…
At that moment it felt as if I could reach out and touch the very underpinnings of the universe. Around me, the void crushed my senses, reality shattered and folded in on itself. For at that moment I witnessed all of the majesties of reality. All the secrets of 200 billion galaxies and the 200 trillion stars that composed them were laid bare before me. An eternity and a second passed as I failed at comprehending even a single atom of a single grain of sand.
HAHAHAHHAHAH. This is why I came out here with this shitty job! This is the answer! To bear witness to all of this! For who else would be stupid enough to do this shit!
No sane man would ever jump with only a suit. Only the most insane would ever attempt it. All who had either died from a stroke or invariably went insane. I believe I understood why. No man was supposed to see all of this, but simultaneously I understood why humanity had braved the darkness to discover these secrets. The urge to explore is in our blood and at that moment I decided that even if I died right at that moment I would be happy with my accomplishments.
As the moment of introspection passed. As all of realities' secrets were once again hidden from my view, I heard a crack, a hiss and silence…
nya