“Ahh, oohh, lalala”

Miyabi was being ridiculous, stretching her tongue as far as she could and making funny faces, except, the ones it was destined to, didn’t find it funny at all!

Changing technique, she hid her face behind her palms, saying, “I disappear,” opening her hands with a smile, she exclaimed, “now you see me.”

Nothing to do. The children's cries went on and on, growing louder and more energetic. Miyabi didn’t know what to do anymore. As a teen, when others were making money by babysitting some children, she rather tutored some juniors. It was less headache-inducing more so that in her neighborhood, there weren’t that many children and certainly not infants. Her knowledge of soothing babies was lacking by lots. That aside, how could two little beings produce so much noise! She was going deaf! They wouldn't listen to her or pay heed to the gestures and grimaces she was making. It simply served no purpose, and at best, it just angered them some more!

Didn't tv used to show that babies particularly liked it when someone hid behind his hands?! Where was the scene where they were supposed to laugh and try with their little fingers to unwrap her hands and see her face?

Hell was breaking loose! Where were these babies’ pacifiers?

Stretching her hands, she took Meirin gently in her embrace, laying her on her shoulder and softly tapped her back. The baby was so light and seemed so fragile. It was her very first time holding a child this young and she sincerely hoped she was doing it right. Miyabi was rocking herself slowly while making shushing sound with her mouth. The baby was, apparently, receptive to that, and slowly started to reduce her cries; however, the little boy who was laying on his crib was still loud and now angry at being ignored. Rocking the baby girl still, Miyabi used the hand that was previously tapping Meirin’s back to lightly tapped Hendricksen’s chest over his clothes, silently lamenting that his crib wasn’t one she could rock but rather an annoyingly stable one which wouldn’t budge at all.

She tucked him gently with one hand and started humming a song, wondering if a lullaby could work. Now, which lullaby could she sing? She didn’t remember any.

She arranged Meirin’s position on her shoulder and she started rocking herself and tapping Hendricken’s bosom in the rhythm of her music. Hardly a lullaby but she sang it slowly, invoking a gentle tone, though it should be said that she couldn’t recognize the voice coming out of her mouth as her own.

She looked at Hendricksen tenderly in the eyes,

“Remember those walls I built?”

She cleared her throat, trying to remember the next words

“Well, baby, they are tumbling down.” She smiled gently at the baby, and since there was enough place and Meirin had calmed herself, she gently laid the girl beside her twin and tucked her with her own that shetook from Meirin's crib swiftly; his sister by his side, Hendricksen seemed to calm more and more and that allowed her voice to be heard over their soft cries now, “and they didn’t even put up a fight, …they didn’t even make a sound” She tucked them carefully, and softly tapped their chests with each hand, “I found a way to let you in”

Though 'Yzaide' was definitely not one to sing all day long, her voice wasn’t crooked and at this moment Miyabi didn't really care if she sounded off tune and neither the babies anyway. The music was, apparently, doing the trick and the twins were looking at her, making soft sounds, not cries, but happy babbling ones.

“but I never really had a doubt”

Miyabi’s smile stretched, and she felt like there was magic in those babies eyes as they smiled at her. Now, that was something worth seeing.

"Standing in the light of your halo... I got my ang-"

And then the door opened in a bang and the magic was destroyed. The startled babies slowly teared up while Miyabi's face changed, repeating 'no' and trying to occupy them with the song but her voice was muffled down by their crying which had gotten a new wave of intensity. Their small faces were going red, their arms flailing around.

“Damn”, cursed softly the mother before turning to see just who had such bad timing. It was a young maid -early twenties in Miyabi's opinion- in a black and white outfit. A French style one. She was out of breath and walked brusquely to Miyabi's level -almost run there to be precise- her eyes on alert. Miyabi could swear to hear her exhale in relief when she saw the babies were alright. She then promptly bowed to her before her voice sounded,

“Apologies, madam, I was occupied and didn’t see the time. I will get the babies right away.”

Action following words, she leaned to take one in hand but was stopped short.

“And just where do you think you are taking them to?" asked Miyabi with a frown.

"They must be hungry, madam. It is long past their meal's time,” responded the newcomer in a small voice, not daring to reach for the babies again, her gaze suddenly on the carpet, not meeting that short-tempered person's eyes, lest she was slapped again

Recalled that they indeed had yet to eat, Miyabi found it a bit of a shame to not have thought about that. She coughed, thought about something and change her mind again,

"They are not going anywhere, call the wet nurse here."

The maid's eyes widened at her, but Miyabi didn't care and turned to the children.

"And where are their pacifiers?"

The maid rummage through one of the drawers and took two that she put in each one's mouth while Miyabi was making shushing sound, lightly tapping their chests to calm them. The pacifiers in the mouth, they started sucking avidly, finally letting some peace be heard in the room. Still not hearing the person exiting, Miyabi turned her face to her,

"Get going, what are you standing here for?"

Stammering a response, and with swift movements, the maid was once again outside.

Miyabi fixed her gaze at the cute children. Those twins were now five months old. But since day one, Yzaide refused to breastfeed them. It wasn’t so rare in nobility. There were wet nurses for that after all. Miyabi wondered though, now that she had the babies'mother's body shouldn't she try to breastfeed them? That... well, they were strangers after all but her conscience kept on telling her it was their mother's body she was in and nothing was better than one's own mother's milk. Or so she thought anyway. She looked down to her chest which went from cup C to a full round D and coughed. Well, maybe not now. Let's try that later. She wasn't really sure if she remembered seeing Yzaide's bathing today in her vision. She rather not risk it.

Some moment later, the young maid came back, with another one in her toe. This one seemed slightly older and bowed to Miyabi before going near the babies. The surprise in her eyes wasn't really masked.

"Should I feed them here?" she asked cautiously, as she tried to stop sneaking glances at Miyabi who was still crouched down on the babies, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Yes, you may. Sit on the cushion, let me bring you Meirin-."

Like her words said, she bent to take the girl in her arms but when she turned around,

"What are you doing here standing still. Go and sit."

"Yes, yes madam" responded the flustered woman.

"Madam, you should place a hand under her head too, like this". While the wet nurse was opening her cloth to free her breasts, the other maid helped Miyabi hold the baby more cautiously with a hint of fear in her voice. Miyabi pretended not to hear the tremor in her voice and did as she was told. In the process, she deliberately touched the maid's hand to see if she could have a vision of her life too but this time again she saw nothing. She repeated it when passing the baby to the wet nurse only to come blank again. What exactly were the conditions for that thing to work, she wondered. 

When the pacifier was taken out of her mouth, the baby didn't have the time to cry that a nipple was pushed in. Miyabi stood there and looked in fascination wondering flittingly if it hurt. Was the baby gum's painful? The baby had closed her eyes and seemed to be savoring her treat, which brought a smile to Miyabi.

The other two women tried not to look at their mistress but they still sneaked glances at her. Their surprise wasn't really unfounded. The old Yzaide hated those children's cries. Actually, she didn’t like at all to have those babies in the same room as her but by that gesture, she wanted to show how passionate and a good mother she was, how much she liked the children. It was all to deceive Baron Mitch. 

The reason why Baron Mitch had married her previously, was because he and his wife had tried long enough but still didn't manage to have children. His wife was too sick for that. They were going on in their years and house Mitch still didn't have any heir. Be it a boy or a girl. The gender didn't matter much. His daughter's husband could inherit his position should he have a daughter but the trouble was he had neither. Should come a day he died then his title would go to his distant cousin and what of his wife if she was still alive? Would they chase her? Would they bully her? Never could he imagine her dying before him. The baron thought about adoption. Though some people in the nobility adopt, it was still looked down upon and in the end, rather than that he chose to marry again. His wife was alright with it. More so that they also needed the money Yzaide's family offered while that family was interested in entering the nobility rank. It was a win-win situation.

However, Baron Mitch couldn't bear seeing his wife be upset by his second wife's presence and brought that person to live in his residential manor in the forest. Maybe prompted by that show of his love still, his first wife's got better to the point where she got pregnant and the baby even survived the rocky first trimester which had seen so many miscarriages. The doctor said that this one would likely be alright. House Mitch was elated. The baron, who rarely came in his second residence came then, still drunk from yesterday's liquor of good news. He came to talk about separation. Yzaide was furious. She didn't even enjoy the life of nobility that she was already thrown out? She wouldn't let it be. Anyway, she too was pregnant for two weeks now. The baron had the physician check it and found that it was indeed true. Yzaide threatened to denounce him if he really chased her in her pregnant state.

Angered beyond words, the baron slammed the door and since then didn't come. Not even to see his own newborns. He forbade anyone to tell his first wife about those babies as he had already promised to her that the matter of the second wife was already arranged. In his wife's mind, she was back to being the sole woman in his life, living in ignorant bliss.

Though she managed to stay, Yzaide, who was like a prisoner in this manor now, never stopped writing to the baron, telling him how much she loved him and their babies, begging him to come and see them, he would love them too, she promised.

But the man never set foot here, however, he provided her with the necessary.

Yzaide's soft pleading letters then turned into threats, guilt trapping him sentimentally about his children and escalated to menaces and demands. She insisted on her children to be shown to the world and officially recognized.

There was a custom. In the hundredth day of a child, a ceremony must be observed and he should be introduced to society. But the twins' hundredth day passed and no one came. Anxious now Yzaide tried to break free and go see him in his principal manor. But even if she had a good mastery over her powers and could scare the maids around, the guards combined were still more powerful than her. No matter how much she tried, Yzaide couldn't break free. 

And now she was back to writing soft letters again telling how much she loved those babies and couldn't even bear not seeing them so she had them sleep in her own room.

Well, it was quite a mess and Miyabi wondered if Yzaide really thought that there was no one to inform the baron of how she really acted in here.

Not caring about the two women's opinions, Miyabi stood there and observed how the babies were drinking their milk. Once Meirin was full, she was the one to extend her hand to take her, putting her on her shoulder, and lightly tapped her back to help her burp. Only, it never occurred to her that milk would be following too and her clean clothes weren't so clean anymore.

The young maid, seeing this scene grew anxious. No matter how good an actress this mistress was, she certainly would break the act now, was she going to fling the baby on the floor? Her heart couldn't accept that conjecture so she extended her hands-

"Why are you so jittery, aren't I holding her properly? Pass Hendericksen to her to, and leave me alone!"

Well, it seemed this new act of hers was particularly good.

Miyabi changed the shoulder holding Meirin as she slowly lulled the baby to sleep while looking at Hendricksen drinking his milk, deep in thought. From what she knew, some weeks from now the baron was going to come and trying to divorce with her again. The original Yzaide had been averse to it and had dragged the affair almost a year long no matter what kind of proposition the baron came with -he was adamant she told no one about the babies being his, fearing his wife's health to get worse if she heard the news-. When the heroine wasn't concerned, this man was simply the worst father ever. Miyabi, however, didn't care. She wasn't inclined on being anyone's wife anytime soon and she certainly wouldn't let babies in the hands of a father unwilling to recognize them. This was just on principle. 

Smiling at the sleeping children she felt like, though she didn’t really know much about being a mother, there was nothing that couldn't be learned if one had the will. 

 

***

Since opening her eyes to this strange world, Miyabi didn’t see herself in a mirror -though it was true that through Meirin’s memory she got to see her own appearance-. However, her reflection in the water of her bath was really clear and let her see herself anew again. She was really like the Yzaide of the game.

Contrary to her children who took after their father’s fiery red hair -though she didn't get to see that for their heads were covered with bonnets-, hers was silver-blue and its length up to the ending of her back. Her eyes were a turquoise, deeper shade of blue and her lips a natural pink. Miyabi thought that with a physique like this, was there really no other way to enter nobility than marrying as the second wife? Were nobles really that fond of marrying between themselves that she felt she had no other chance than with Baron Mitch? Though it was true too that merchants were looked down by nobles. A stupid thing in Miyabi's opinion. Where would be their country without merchants?

With a sight, she entered the big bathtub and let the hot water immerge her up to her neck as she found a good position to reclined against the border, thinking.

This was a world of magic, Edmether. Mana was the name of that magical energy which everyone possessed. In the game's prologue, it was said that millennia ago, humans were pitiful creatures any magical being could pry on. Some of those magical entities ended up pitying them too much and teaching them how to wield it. What one's wielded was depending on each one's inborn abilities but they were ranged under categories: elementals, variances, and rarities. There were four elementals: fire, earth, water, and wind. The variances were more numerous: electricity, wood, ice, iron, bones, blood and many more. All which was neither elemental or a rarity was grouped here. Some newfound variances were still discovered even these days. The last category was rarity and had just two elements: the light and the darkness. And it was also the reason for the fairies' disappearance.

When teaching humans about magic, the fairies never thought that humans' greed would create a new kind of power which had later being called 'darkness'. That power almost destroyed their world. Only, a child, a pure and gentle one, developed 'light' and save them all. But since then, no one ever saw fairies again. It was speculated that, as they were restraining the expand of darkness over the world while waiting for the child's power to develop enough to defeat darkness, their magical powers depleted and since they were being made entirely of mana, they died. The whole race got annihilated to save the world.

Now, since the game was titled “the wielder of light”, it was self-evident that the heroine would awaken a light attribute but remembering the -1- at the end of the title, Miyabi hoped that it didn't mean that in the -2- of the game someone with darkness attribute would go berserk and started killing people around -she never played the two so she really didn't know-. Though she didn't care if in the game world there were casualties before the heroine's triumph but now that said game life became her real life, she certainly cared enough! Damn it, why was she even playing this game?

Tears were ready to spill down her cheeks and she was feeling exhausted again before she forced herself to see the good side of these all. Her mother had raised as a positive person, “Count your blessings, not your flaws.” She liked to say, “It’s fine if it’s a problem of seeing the glass half full or half empty, either way, you won’t be thirsty”. Those kinds of motivational words. And she needed a real good dose of positivism right now.

To start off, she was alive. Which was good enough and who knows, maybe she could even wield some magic too. Closing her eyes Miyabi tried willing the water in her palm to act as she dictated. 

...

It never moved or did anything. No matter what she did, nothing happened. A frustrated groan escaped her lips and she slapped the water. When she had touched her hand previously, she saw Yzaide's flinging water at people. Water under pressure could be disastrous. Those destroyed pillars at the entrance of the manor could certainly attest that. Yzaide could make water do anything she wanted. Why wasn't it obeying now?

Sighing, Miyabi dived in the water and resigned to finish bathing properly before investigating what new power -or lack of it- another time.