Sunrise bathed the scene as the fight ended and the dryad disappeared back into her forest. X watched both gnomes rummaging through a pile of mutilated corpses, scavenging anything useful they could find, including selected pieces of flesh.

“What in tarnation are you doing?” the elf asked.

“Uh... Gathering today’s food?” the male gnome answered.

“What the-- Hell no!”

“Suit yourself, but when your hungry stomach starts roaring, you’ll see it differently,” the female gnome retorted.

“What unholy, uncivilized land you backward freaks come from where you actually eat this?” X stood with both hands pointing down to several pieces of fresh human meat.

“You don’t?” The female gnome looked puzzled.

“Everyone back in the dreg’s shithole eats each other... once in a while. Don’t you do it here? Don’t elves?” her male companion stated as a fact.

“You eat other gnomes?” X raised the volume of his voice.

“Fuck no! What do you think we are? Savages?” the male gnome replied.

“Our race is pure and untainted. You need to start learning about our greatness, now that you’re one of us,” the female gnome punctuated.

“When shit gets tough, everything that moves out there in the dregadas, everything but your own, of course, starts looking real tasty,” the male gnome added.

“Dregadas?” the redheaded elf asked.

“Dreglands, dreg country... Wherever gnome civilization hasn’t reached.” 

“You should know. Where do you think all the dregs living in the Elf Kingdom come from?” The female gnome gave him a patronizing look. 

“Those no one wants, not even each other. Unconquerable bastards,” the male gnome chimed in.

“You think this is hell? You haven’t seen half of it. This is paradise. We prefer it here... all said and done,” his female partner spoke.

“Then don’t bring that hell here,” X said.

“Don’t make a fuss about it. And don’t worry, someday we’ll teach them our superior gnome ways, one way or another,” the male gnome said while raising his fist into the air.

“Do gnomes come from there?” the elf asked.

“No! Not at all!” the female gnome was quick to answer.

“We... ah... had a stint there. Nothing important.”

“We? You crazy whoreson,” the female gnome raised her voice.

“Mhmm.” X stared at both unassuming gnomes with more doubts than certainties.

“And it’s not like we love this kind of meat, it’s not really that tasty, but when shit gets tough...” The male gnome shrugged. “Spend a month in dreg-hell and you’ll start looking at these as food too.”

“Yeah, well, we’re not in the dregadas, so just leave that hell there,” X stated.

Both looked disappointed but complied.

“See, I’ve told you, this shit always unnerves everyone,” the female gnome spoke to her gnome companion, who responded in kind, “Everyone that’s not a dreg. Those fuckers would already be asking for seconds, looking at each other.”

X looked at the spread-out remains of the human squad. 

[Didn’t you eat it too? Once, out of your mind?]

It strolled around flesh and gore.

No.

[Huh... A nightmare then.]

Yours, not mine.

[Have a go at it. Who knows? Maybe you’ll like it this time.]

No. I’m fine.

[You told them not to bring this hell here, but I see what’s going on in your head... You plan on bringing even worst ailments.]

Now you know what I’ll do before I think about it.

[I saw it in your eyes... down there in the sewers.]

“Ah...” X turned towards both gnomes. “We can’t stay here, we need to go.”

“Where to?” The male gnome asked.

“Deeper into the forest,” X replied.

“This forest?” the female gnome questioned the sanity of that choice.

“Yes.”

“With the batshit crazy dryad?!” the female gnome filed her complain.

“Shh... she can hear you...” the male gnome quieted her down.

“We need to rest, and the dryad, well... she protects this forest. So, if we are careful, she’ll protect us too,” X stated.

“The fuck she will!” the female gnome exclaimed.

“How did you make that jump in logic?" the male gnome also had something to say about the elf’s train of thought.

“Think about it while you pack it up. We’re moving,” X said.

They walked away from the crime scene, deeper into her forest. The trio had no defined direction but to disappear inside her woods. The morning heat rose on the forest’s surface, and with each step, X walked slightly slower, but his wide steps kept him on par with both gnomes’ short strides. Without a night’s sleep, they fought hard to keep themselves awake. And yet, they took special care with her forest, no one wanted to end up minced by some deviant creature. 

“I knew a gnome before, but he was nothing like you two,” the redheaded elf commented.

“What was his name?” the female gnome asked.

“High Mountain.”

Both gnomes cracked up.

“Who the fuck calls himself High Mountain?” the male gnome laughed.

“Not a real gnome,” the female gnome sneered.

“Right? That’s what I told them. I’ve always been misunderstood. Anyway, what do I call you?” X asked both gnomes.

“I’m Latakeramau,” said the male gnome proudly.

 “Travinila here,” the female gnome added, sticking out her chest.

“Did you name yourselves?”

“How did you know?” the female gnome asked.

“Lucky guess.”

“What’s your name lanky?” the male gnome asked.

“X.”

“Ekk’s?”

“Yeah.”

“Strange name f--” the female gnome was saying when X interrupted her. “For an elf, I know. Everyone says so.”

Night fell after a whole day of wandering between trees and bushes, wary of hurting her greenery. Under three bright moonlights both gnomes shared their last piece of bread with the elf. They had been following some animal footprints when they came upon a weathered human trail. The gnomes turned out to be decent forest guides, with experience. 

After following that faint trail, it was late at night when they stumbled upon a special discovery. A clearing on a small hill, and on top of it, a farmhouse. No lights, no movement, a half-burned field, and a cold breeze blurred the scene. Both gnomes tensed up, but X remembered Bryan’s story and found, upon closer inspection, the mutilated, half-eaten, half-rotten, foul-smelling corpses of his family.

“Shit! Look at those! I wonder what kind of animal would kill like this?” said Latakeramau.

Both looked at him.

“Ohh... fuck.”

“We rest here,” X said.

“You sure? The welcoming remains ain’t really welcoming at all,” remarked Travinila.

“Come on, mate, you pussying out?” Latakeramau teased her.

“The dryad’s not a trifle creature, one fucking distraction, and ta-dah, you’re the new welcoming remains to this haunted shit.”

“Then be extra careful,” X said while opening the door.

“I still say we’re better off somewhere else,” Travinila roughly conceded.

They stepped inside the farmers’ house to find one big room with a kitchen, a cupboard, a center table, and three beds in it. A fine layer of dust covered the orderly dark home.

“Not bad.” X couldn’t keep awake much longer and promptly passed out on the nearest bed. Both gnomes had no more energy to keep going either, and they ended dropping on a bed each to rest a good night’s sleep.

The elf had no dreams at all this night. It had been his best night since arriving in this world. X woke up without worries, stretched his arms up, and looked towards the other beds. Latakeramau still slept, but the other bed was empty. The elf heard nosies, so he stood up and walked towards a busy Travinila who stood over a chair on the kitchen. She was going through the farmers’ food supplies.

“What are you doing?” X asked,

“Breakfast! I’m hungry,” Travinila said, looking inside a bag.

“Found something?

“Some hard moldy bread, two grain bags, seem good, and a potato bag,” she opened that last one, but those didn’t seem like the potatos he knew. “Gone bad,” Travinila stated.

“Maybe that’s for the best. Do what you can for now. We’ll get more supplies,” the elf spoke.

Travinila grabbed several handfuls of grains and put them in a bowl when they heard a noise on the roof, sliding towards their position. Both looked through the kitchen windows, and a vine fell down, spooking them.

“Shit!” Travinila’s short scream jolted them fully awake.

“Darn it.” X stepped out while Travinila quickly waked up Latakeramau.

The dryad awaited outside. 

“I see you took refuge in this... dead temple.” Her vines embraced the house but slowly returned to her.

X turned around and saw the farmers’ home. “The house?”

From inside, gnomes voices reached them.

 “What!?” 

“The dryad’s here!”

“Fuck!”

They quickly stepped out too.

“Good morning, fine dryad,” Travinila said.

“Mornings,” Latakeramau spoke, still half asleep.

The dryad stared at those two and turned towards X. “I see you found it, the murderous farmers’ house.”

“Oh, you mean your crime scene, of course we did,” the elf retorted.

“Mine? You’ll never understand.”

“Why are you here?” X dryly asked her.

“I’ve come with a warning. Don’t take anything from that tainted contraption, from the dead temple. Or you’ll suffer the consequences!”

“Yes!” both gnomes speedily replied.

“Really? And here I thought you came to destroy it all,” X said, confusion drawn on his face.

“Why would I? It’s my dear trees’ wood. This is my forest! That house’s wood... that... comes from it. Don’t spoil it.”

“And what’s inside?” X asked.

“As long as it comes from my forest, you’d better behave.” 

“We’ll do... Anything more we need to know about the rules of your forest?” a sardonic tone escaped X’s lips.

“I’m watching... always,” the dryad’s voice took a deeper tone. She turned around and began walking away.

“Why did you come at all?” X asked.

“Let her go, mate,” Latakeramau whispered to the elf.

“No, I want to know. I really do. You could’ve wait till we ate a handful of the food inside the house and killed us right then. You’d have minced us, just as you love to do, and been rid of us, to be alone just as you like to be. Why?”

“I’m extending the courtesy your pets showed me. Don’t expect it again.”

“Of course, dryad!” Travinila spoke.

“Not bad,” X crossed his arms. “I think we are getting somewhere. Now that we are your guests in your forest, can our kind host tell us how we are to feed ourselves if we can’t take anything from it?”

“Then get out of my forest. You fucking parasites!”

“And then you wonder why no one will care for your forest with that attitude.” 

“It’s not my place to. I only protect-- oh, I remember, last night, you told those two that I’ll protect you?”

“You heard that?” X asked.

“I hear everything.”

“I was too tired... don’t remember well. Did I?” the elf looked at the gnomes.

“I...” Latakeramau didn’t answer.

“Ah... who knows... I was tired too,” Travinila also failed to come up with a definitive response.

“Then let me refresh your memory, I only protect nature,” the dryad stated.

“And what are we, freaking hallucinations from your decrepit mind? I’m telling you, get your head in order,” X stared at her.

“You don’t like it... leave.”

“As soon as we can, we will,” X gazed at her light-blue eyes, searching for nature’s consciousness.

“Good.”

“And now that we’re talking like half-civilized beings, can our host tell us her name?” the redheaded elf asked her.

“I’m not your fucking host!” The dryad turned around an vanished within her forest.

“Let’s get the hell out of here mate,” Latakeramau said.

“She’s not amiable, not at all.” Travinila spoke the truth.

“Say it, don’t be scared. You’re freaking insane, dryad!” he shouted for the whole forest to hear.

“Better not to tease her,” Travinila spoke.

“Get inside. I have a plan,” X said, with a grin on his face.

“What about food?” Latakeramau’s stomach roared.

“We’ll be hungry for a while longer, but not that long. We have more important things to do. Come!” the elf urged them.

Once inside, X cleared the table and put a bed sheet over it. He rummaged through the farmers’ things and found a piece of coal.

“The dryad said not to take anything!” Travinila lodged her complain. 

“She said to be careful with these things. There’s a difference,” X said, with his index finger raised.

“I don’t think so, Ekk’s.” Latakeramau had his doubts.

“You don’t get it; you have to think like the demented to understand the demented,” the elf gazed at both gnomes.

They stared back at the redheaded elf.

“Okay then, teach us,” Travinila said.

“Or we just learn from your example?” Latakaremau spoke.

“Not a bad idea. Watch.” X pointed towards the bags of grain. “Those weren’t going to last us very long anyway, and well, the dryad’s hell-bent on not letting us take anything from her forest, right?

“Uff... That she is,” Travinila sighted.

“And we better don’t even try,” Latakeramau exclaimed.
 
“Exactly! Good on her!” X smiled.

“It is?” Travinila asked, uncertain of what to expect next.

“She doesn’t want to spoil us. Don’t you get it?” X glanced at the gnomes.

“Is it what I think it is?” Latakaremau spoke with caution.

“Tell me it is,” Travinila drew a slight grin non her face.

“We need to go and take it... Everything that’s ours!” X raised his voice.
 
“Hell yeah!”

“Finally!”

“Here and now, our crew is born!” X stared into their eyes, and talked directly to their souls.

“Fuck yes!”

“Our time has come!” Travinila shouted.

“Not out of desperation, but because it’s a way of life... Our way of life!” the elf raised his arms to the heavens.

“Now this is something we can get behind,” Latakeramau said in approval.

“Bring it on, sub-races!” Travinila seconded the elf’s notion.

“Gnomes! Gnomes!” While both gnomes yelled excitedly at the prospect of banditry, another crew member appeared sitting at the table.

[Once again, every single mistake, you’ll do them all again. I knew you’d walk this path once more.]

What’s it to you?

[I’m part of the crew. Whether I want it or not.]

Hah, that you are, whether I want it or not. If you knew this was inevitable, what are you crying about now?

[I held hope]

You shouldn’t have.

Both gnomes calmed down.

“My blood’s pumping, let’s make it official. What will be the name of our crew?” Latakeramau asked.

“I’ve got the perfect name: Del Barrio,” X answered.

“What?” Travinila asked.

“Dheli varlio,” Latakeramau attempted to pronounce it.

“No. Your pronunciation’s way off,” X said.

“Del’vhario?” Travinila inquired.

“Ah whatever... Yeah, close enough!” the elf gave up. “We’re Del’vhario Crew!”

“Sounds like insect shit, I like it!” Latakeramau yelled.

“We have our crew name, now both of you will get your Del’vhario names.” X saw the excited faces of both gnomes. They enjoyed this as much as him. “You Lata...”

“Latakeramau.”

“You’ll be known as Mau.”

“Fucking A!”

“And--”

“Travinila.”

“As Nila”

“Yeah!”

“I’m X, X the elf. And this is Del’vhario, our crew.”

And it was here, in a haunted farmhouse under a dryad’s tyrannical rule, that Del’vhario was founded by three equally deranged individuals.