I was the God.

My greatest masterpiece, the world and the living things in it, turned out to be not a masterpiece at all.

It was my fault for giving too much. I gave them the power to rule themselves. The power to change. Their surroundings. Their future. The world.

I shouldn’t have done that. Humans in general should be puppets to their instincts than their intelligence and desire. Intelligence gave them the edge to learn to be a god. It gave them a goal, a vision. It was an ephemeral thing. Similar to clouds and smoke. But their desire maniacally found its way to pierce through the smoke.

I thought a vision was a happy thing. They became better and stronger just what I wanted. But it corrupted them. It transformed into power and yet, they weren’t satiated with it. They wanted more.

Humans overthrew me. I could smite them in anger but my love or perhaps my dignity wouldn’t allow that. I put a lot of effort just to create them. But with a single thought, they would be gone. It wasn’t cost-effective.

I gave them all. Food. Shelter. Abilities. But what I received was a fucking disappointment. I knew this word now. Because I kept hearing it from them. What a tragedy to learn curses from a lesser specie.

They cursed me as they destroyed the world. Fuck God, they said. Was I the one who destroyed the world? A big no. Nevertheless, they thought I was the easiest target to push the blame.

They blemished my name with their songs. I wasn’t an idol and I didn’t give them false prophets. I was better than that. The idea of myself shouldn’t be written to decipher or to understand. They only need to learn I existed. To love me, that was what I wanted.

And I could go on but their sins and betrayal would never be washed off.

I was the God but became the devil from their tongue. In their eyes, I was a brutal being who gave them the life they didn’t wish.

They said I could change many things but these things were the product of their actions. And even when the moment I moved a muscle, they would still blame me for correcting their issues.

Nothing that I did… not even moving… would escape from their scrutinizing eyes.

I shouldn’t have done everything. I knew I made mistake by giving too much freedom. Changes and possibilities became infinite that even a God like me could only predict the future but their outcomes still lie in their hands.

Birth wasn’t their choice but their actions were.

Was it my fault? Just because I created them then it was my fault? Wasn’t creation and birth a happy thing? Why did it become a sin? My sin?

Sigh.

Sitting on a dilapidated concrete ground, staring at the cosmos, I felt so useless and alone. No matter how I caressed the earth, I couldn’t feel its heartbeat anymore. Only, from time to time, a collision of two pieces of land could be felt.

But suddenly, I smiled.

I recalled some people and it put me in a good mood. They were an interesting bunch.

One of them was a funny guy who likes swords so much he died smiling while hugging his sword.

His way of life was something to be admired. He drank and slept with many women, but never he reached anyone’s bottom line.

In fact, people called him a loser. But I knew deep down how jealous they were of him.

Geniuses came and passed but he trumped them all with pure hard work and dedication. While drinking, he slashed. While sleeping, he slashed. And even while having intercourse, he slashed.

People created swords for killing. But he used a sword for a sole reason.

Fascination.

He loved its curves, its body, the bents, its tip, and the rough grip. All kinds of swords, no matter what shape and form, he loved them. He was a maniac, a rapist of the sword.

That was why he wanted a long grueling fight because he could watch his sword and his enemy’s sword clashed and danced in the air. It gave him an incomparable orgasmic experience.

His opponents died not from one fatal attack but due to blood loss. It should be a brutal scene but his way of fighting was sure to behold.

A blood-boiling magnificent performance, full of vigor and sweat. The gritty scene of two chunks of metal colliding produced beautiful sparks. And the quick thoughts behind each action, predicting and processing every minute detail. They represented the whole and unique life of this man.

I could never forget his smiles. A satisfied smile. Soon followed by laughter and groans. But more laughing. People admired and envied him because he was doing what he wanted.

He was having fun. And that was all that mattered.

“…” I copied his smile before cracking into laughter. That silly boy.

There was also another guy. A quiet one. He liked reading and studying. But he didn’t have the resources nor the assistance. Every penny he earned was spent to live and buy a book.

He was a mechanic. To think about it, he was a just regular guy. One who experienced the humdrum of society. Bottom of the barrel. Typical body littered with grease and solid sweat.

But such a man managed to impress the world.

He actually managed to create a more efficient battery from the scraps strewn in his workshop. But then, nobles threw him off after that and claimed the patent.

Still, he created another after another invention even with all kinds of hindrances coming in his way.

People were no fools. They discovered him and his inventions. All the glories came back to his name.

Yet, he shrugged it off. Poured himself a hot coffee, opened a book, and enjoyed the serenity of everyday life.

His works made the world a better place. But he didn’t mind their reactions or fame or riches.

Only the words dancing on the paper and the images created by his mind were far more intriguing.

And then with a flap, the book closed. He fixed his eyeglasses and scanned his room before leaning on his trusted chair.

He died full of knowledge but thirsty for more. And he also died peacefully as it could be.

Even I could not help but keep his eyeglasses. I mimicked his way of fixing his glass and created a cup of coffee out of thin air.

The smoke drawn in my face was calming. I could see through the cosmos better despite the cover of smoke. Maybe that guy was also feeling God-like during moments like these…

Aside from those two, an interesting person appeared in my mind. He was the most flamboyant and overconfident person I’ve ever seen.

But he was also the one who made me, a God, cry.

The swordsman lived his dream. The mechanic lived unfettered. But this man was born to die early.

Yet he shone the brightest out of the humans in history.

Like a shooting star, he brightened the dark sky of every person he passed by before his light died out.

With all the riches in the world, he spent it like water. Countless donations. Party. Vices. And many more. He did it while knowing his days were decreasing.

He was only thirteen years old when he passed away. More mature and smarter than anyone, though. Thus, he knew he couldn’t accomplish many things.

Only by living like a prodigal son that he could help and make others happy.

They considered him a fool. No one asked about his feelings except his family. People took advantage of his young age and foolish decisions. Money was spent as fast as a rocket ship. Associations and organizations put on a pretentious mask to gain donations from him.

Fortunately, his family was willing to go down with him. They backed him up regardless of his reason. Still, they couldn’t help but worry about him and tried to reason with him. But he didn’t relent. It was selfish but it secretly took a toll on the young man’s mind. In fact, he wanted them to hate him and threw him out of the rags.

When his hair started to fall off, people gradually distanced themselves. Such a human nature.

Yet, from time to time, they peek at their phones to see the news about him. They would always remember the joy he shared with him. His childish self, jollying and dancing with the groove, got imprinted in their mind.

However, the unexpected thing was he didn’t die from his disease.

He died saving a little child.

It was a car intended to hit the latter. It was fate, he thought.

He could imagine his life with the child. Just like the interaction between the scared child and fast-moving the car, his life and death was slowly inching together. There was no stopping it.

But he could stop the car from hitting the child.

He grinned wide, knowing he beat death, his old enemy.

Before his last breath, he believed he saved hope. Because the boy had a bright future ahead unlike him. He was hope. His hope.

And this hope bloomed in splendor.

The child became a wonderful president. I could still recall how prosperous his legacy was. Skyscrapers blocking the sun. Cars that could glide in the air. The poor were happy and the rich weren’t tyrants. A peaceful and satisfied country. It was a great legacy.

It was the thirteen-year-old boy’s legacy.

But humans sought to be a ruler. They didn’t want others getting ahead of the race. Jealousy then sprouted in their hearts. It corrupted their minds. And did the unthinkable.

A war. A war that transcended any war. It lasted far longer than it should.

Centuries… Millenniums… the world couldn’t handle it anymore.

It was then the last person who appeared.

He didn’t buckle in the face of the cruelty of the people. His unyielding spirit reached the distant lands. The throes of death beneath his feet pushed him forward.

The blood couldn’t make him slip. While the bones couldn’t make him falter. The curtains of war became wide open in his every step. He journeyed through iron and fire.

There were three oppressors. They united in one goal. To rule. They felt they were superior races. White, yellow, and blue flags stood at the highest peak, looking down on everyone like peasants.

All lost hope. The oppressors were stronger, richer, and larger. Their fleets could cover the sky and land.

But one man, covered in blood, didn’t give up.

He lost his child due to war.

His wife was murdered by his neighbor who sneaked into their house.

His mother died while giving birth to him because of his abnormally large body.

And he watched his father's knees buckling and dying due to exhaustion.

He had nothing. Yet, he found himself fighting for others. Fighting for the chance of survival. And fighting for peace.

He had lost in the end. But he lost fighting with his name reverberating through all battlefields.

Even when the grass on his tombstone had grown to a human’s height, his name could still strike fear in anyone.

Truth be told, I didn’t know if he was a savior or destroyer of the world. If not for him, many people would die. But if not for him, the war wouldn’t escalate as much as it did.

I didn’t resent him, though. He was a beacon of hope. His desire remained pure. Not for revenge. Not for himself.

He just wanted everyone else not to have the same tragedy he had.

A clumsy and idiotic man. He was big but his brain made me wonder who created him.

His heart was bigger, though. This guy didn’t know, but not only did he save people, but he also saved me. I was on verge of wiping them out. But he gave me a hopeful thought.

Thus, I watched the world crumble. I felt deep regret. But at least, I stayed my hands from intervening.

At least I watched the small portion of the human population giving their best.

I watched their despairs and joys. Their griefs and sorrows. The thoughts of their happy past and hopes for the future. The love that died out but then blossomed into new ones.

It was there and there… the epitome of my creation.

That culmination of emotions and actions. The highest.

This was my hope from the start.

To see people cherishing each other.

Promoting themselves to a higher status.

To be good. To excel.

Helping one another. Choosing others than their selves.

Just purity.

A light that would never fade. Oscillating beyond the space of imagination. It transcended its form.

It was too short. But it did happen.

I saw their spirits, they were small in numbers, yes, but I felt gratified. Not everyone was corrupted by their intelligence and desire.

This was my true masterpiece.

“This is it.” I smiled with a sad expression, seeing the last piece of land disintegrating.

“…”

Time couldn’t be told when the vacuum of space swallows it all. The sun became black and new planets were born. Galaxies transformed into new looks now and then.

Sigh.

“I don’t want to be a god anymore.”

A deep sense of loneliness wafted on my tiny figure. Everything I knew evaporated to nothingness due to the passage of time. I fixed the non-existing eyeglasses before giving a wry smile. There was nothing anymore with me.

Nothing.

…