I wake up the next morning in my own bed, with my cat sleeping at my feet, in a body that is feeling increasingly familiar and oh so right and it is wonderful.

I stretch, disturbing Zatanna, who takes that as her cue to come demand attention and I have the novel and painful experience of a cat standing with pointy little cat feet on my boob. Nevertheless, I assure her that she is the best cat ever, not to mention extremely pretty, and give her the pets and affection she is due.

That important business seen to, I prowl off to the kitchen in search of food and bring a bowl of cereal back to my room. I’m rested and have time to myself, so I decide that there’s no better time to start experimenting with my new abilities.

There’s not a whole lot of extra space in my bedroom, so I should probably wait to find out about my wings, even though I’m very intrigued by the whole idea. Still, there are plenty of other things I want to figure out about my shapeshifting abilities.

I start by stripping and opening the closet door so I can see myself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door. Just seeing myself in the mirror brings an enormous smile to my face. It’s a cute smile, too.

I’d be completely satisfied with looking exactly like this, no further shapeshifting necessary. That being said, shapeshifting is really fucking rad, so I’m eager to get started.

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. Once again, I gain that intimate awareness of my body. Reluctantly, I look for the shadow of my old body. I have no desire to go back to it, but I think I’ll need to be able to for a while. I might as well try that first and then I can go on to more fun things.

I poke at my body with my mind. There’s a moment of disorientation and I open my eyes to see a depressingly familiar sight in the mirror.

I’m unprepared for the sudden onslaught of discomfort. My skin feels rough to my touch and it almost feels like there’s sandpaper on the inside of my skin too. I realize that I’d been feeling that every day for so many years that I’d learned to tune it out. For thirty-six hours, I’d been free of it and I guess I got used to it very quickly.

If I’m going to be stuck looking like a guy part-time for a while, I can probably figure out some ways to make it a little more bearable, but I don’t see much point in making myself deal with it right this moment. I shift back to girl me and instantly feel more comfortable. A tiny twinge of unease settles and I realize that part of me was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to shift back, like I only got once chance at being me.

It’s a little silly, but I shift back and forth several more times just to allay that small fear. But it works and I feel less anxious, so maybe it’s not silly.

I shift through the cycle once more. This time, I’m able to keep my eyes open. It happens very quickly and in a lot of ways it’s not a dramatic change. I think I lose a less than an inch of height, but overall my size doesn’t change that much. There’s fat in different places and a few other important changes, but it’s amazing how much the little differences add up.

Satisfied that I’ve taken care of the necessities, I start in on the fun. I begin small. Hair feels really easy to do. Simply by looking at my reflection in the mirror and imagining the differences, I can have longer or shorter hair, straight or wavy or curly, any color I want.

I move on to eye color next. Natural colors and purple are pretty easy. I get red with more concentration, although I really don’t think it’s the look for me. I almost have cat eye yellow, but it slips away and my eyes turn green when I lose concentration.

With a little bit of thought, my Midwest Scandinavian pallor darkens to a golden tan and then I hesitate. I don’t think that my very white (and occasionally purple) self needs to be presenting in public as anything but very white. Just as an experiment, I try to push my skin darker, but it just gets more lavender instead. I’m not sure whether that’s due to my own reluctance or something else, but I decide to leave it for now.

Moving beyond the skin-deep takes more concentration. I close my eyes and listen to my breath and feel the blood in my veins. I start poking and prodding at myself.

When I open my eyes, I am significantly more muscular and the fat softening my body has melted away. It’s a look I’m very into, but on somebody like Anya, not me. It turns out I prefer being soft and a little squishy.

I try messing around with my proportions a bit, and that’s entertaining. Significantly changing my body mass proves difficult. I try shrinking down while maintaining my proportions but it gets increasingly harder. I make it down to what I estimate is about 5’ 6” before I can’t go any further.

I’m starting to feel a little dizzy, so I sit down on my bed. I grab my phone and text Anya.

Hey, I’m trying shapeshifting here and had some questions
Got a few minutes to talk? Doesn’t have to be now

It turns out that I’m more than just a little dizzy. I lie down on the bed and close my eyes, waiting for the dizziness to subside. My phone dings a minute later.

Sure, I’m happy to answer questions
Take it easy though! You gotta build up your stamina

Lol yeah
I’m finding that out

You okay?

Yeah I think so. Just kinda dizzy

Please drink some water and get a snack
Shapeshifting can burn a lot of energy

Okay, I’ll do that. Call you in a minute?

Sounds good!

I give myself another moment and then sit up cautiously. I’m not feeling dizzy any more, but I am feeling a little wobbly, so I stand up slowly. I seem to have reverted back to more or less my usual size and I’m in what I’m beginning to think of as my normal human form. I put my pajamas back on and head back downstairs for food.

Dave is in the kitchen, inhaling a sandwich, when I walk in. Surprisingly, he’s wearing his office supply store polo.

“Are you going in to work today?” I ask. “I thought you were off.”

“One of my coworkers called in sick, so I said I’d cover for him. The store closes at five on Sundays, so it’ll be a short shift anyway.”

“Oh, okay. Have fun, I guess?”

“Sundays are pretty quiet so it should be chill. Do you have any plans for the day?”

“I’m not really sure yet. I should call Sam about the job but maybe I should wait till tomorrow? And I’ve got a lot of thinking to do.”

“I bet. I’m here if you need to talk.”

“Thanks, I really do appreciate that.”

“Any time.” He gives me a friendly side hug and heads out.

I make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and fill a large glass with water and take it all to the couch to call Anya.

“Hey, girl!” she says. “Feeling any better?”

“Yeah, I think so. It kind of snuck up on me. I thought I was fine and then bam! Dizzy.”

“What were you doing?”

Anya makes listening noises as I tell her about the morning’s experiments.

“That sounds pretty normal,” she says. “When I told you that we look like what we want to, that was a bit of an oversimplification because I was trying to make the point about your gender. It seems like for most of us, the farther you get from your human genetics, the harder it is to shift. So like, going from male to female isn’t a big deal, because your genes already have that information. It’s like you just flipped from having had a testosterone-fueled puberty to an estrogen-fueled one.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“I think I already told you that some demonic Nephilim are good at animals and stuff, but most of us aren’t. Except for our demonic forms, it’s usually hard to do things outside of normal human genetics.”

“That would explain some of what I tried, but what about my hair? I can make it any color I want.”

“Hair isn’t alive,” Anya says as if that explains everything.

“And what about changing size?”

“Mom says that magic is kind of like doing sleight-of-hand with physics and stuff. Something about conservation of mass? It’s hard to convince the universe that matter is just not there or just appeared from nowhere. But also, the more powerful you get, the easier that will be. And before you ask, it doesn’t count for demonic forms, so your tail and horns and stuff are free mass. Most of us have fully demonic forms that are much larger than our human forms. Angelic forms are even weirder and only have a nodding acquaintance with physics. It’s magic!”

I think about this. “How do I get more powerful?”

“The classic way for succubi is lots of sex. There’s a lot of emotional energy in sex and we can both enhance that and take it. And that can and has been misused.”

“Um, and other options?”

“Strong emotions in general. Mom has a friend in New York who’s a chef and all the foodies come to her restaurant and have foodgasms and she gets energy from that. Alternatively, you could start a cult to yourself.”

“Oooh, cult leader sounds like an interesting career move!”

“Right?”

“So,” I ask tentatively, “what about you?”

“Honestly, getting powerful isn’t a huge draw for me. Like, yeah, sex is great and I get energy from it, but I’m not sleeping around to level up, you know? Even if you’re not trying, unless you’re a hermit, you can usually soak up enough background energy just from being around people to keep you in pretty good shape. Watching a sold-out movie or concert is great.”

“Oh, that’s cool!”

“Don’t get me wrong, lots of succubi do have lots of sex. There’s a reason we’re over-represented in the Nephilim population. I think I might be a bit of an outlier, but then, most succubi didn’t grow up with my mom for a parent.”

“Is she super conservative or something?”

“Uh, no. She’s a professional dominatrix. Her version of The Talk was way too much information and I almost started looking into how convents felt about taking demons. Anyway, Mom does very well for herself and the laws are physics are optional for her and I’ve never felt the need to follow in her footsteps. She does have some pretty great outfits, though.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

There’s an awkward silence and I’m distracted by the idea of Anya dressed as a dominatrix.

“Soooo,” I say smoothly, “whatcha doing today?”

“June recruited me to move some heavy shit for Sam in a little bit, but no plans after that.”

Now I’m distracted by the idea of Anya lifting heavy things.

“Do you two want to come over when you’re done?”

“I’m not sure if June has plans, but I’d love to. See you in two hours or so?”

“Sounds great!”

Brynstar7

Chapter chapter!

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