Holiday to remember

Chapter 17

 

Although I assumed that the girls wouldn’t want me around much, it wasn’t long before they came to find me, although they hadn’t finished sorting the twin’s things out they had decided that they wanted to watch a film the twins had brought back with them. The film really wasn’t appropriate for Summer in my opinion as she clung to me, with my arm round her I could feel her shivering her way through it and she regularly buried her head in my shoulder when the worst bits came on. The other three seemed to thoroughly enjoy screaming every time something made them jump, Jess kept talking through the film, pointing out the biggest jumps that were coming, I suspected she wasn’t a huge fan of the film and was making it less scary for herself by anticipating the scares. Part of me wondered who was going to have nightmares that night and a part of me hoped they would, I found myself half daydreaming that maybe one of them would come and find me for some comfort during the night.

 

The next day I was given things to do with dad in the garden as part of my punishment for getting into a fight. He made me mow the lawn at the back and then go around afterward to make sure I’d picked up all the grass clippings so that the grass wouldn’t get moss in it. It seemed to take forever as I had to empty the grass box on the mower regularly and carry it across the garden to the grass compost pile which was hidden up in the top corner of the garden behind some trees. I had tried to get away with just putting them in the normal compost pile but Dad didn’t want the two compost types mixed, he said that the grass made the ordinary pile go slimy. Dad spent most of the time I was supposed to be helping him in the garage with the doors open so he could see me. He was up to his eyeballs in grease as he took the engine of his ride-on mower apart, trying to find out what was wrong with it. I would have liked to help him with it but he insisted that it was more helpful to him to get the lawns done so he didn’t have to worry about getting them done too.

 

By the time I’d finished edging the lawns and tidying up to his satisfaction, it was mid-afternoon, I was hot from working hard and I was tired. Skye wanted to use my computer because the twins were doing something on mum’s, complaining loudly and squabbling about sharing it, and one not letting the other do what they wanted. I took a long cool shower and contemplated how things had begun to shake out to a new normal so fast.

 

I had to help mum the next day, helping her take an inventory of what she had in stock, what she needed to order more of and making up a few orders she’d had while we were away, ready to post out. I felt she was just making up the need for help because she usually knew where everything was and had a running tally of what she needed in her head. Mostly I had to just fetch and carry for her while she portioned things out and noted down what she had.

 

The girls were tasked with getting lunch for everyone so that mum didn’t have to take too long a break. I got annoyed that they got away with just laying things out on the table and calling us all there to make what sandwiches we wanted. It seemed so unfair because when I did that I was always told off and told that I should make the sandwiches up for everyone, the girls hadn’t even buttered the bread though there were four of them.

 

All afternoon the girls seemed bored and took turns to come and badger mum about letting them go shopping. Being busy she refused to take them telling them that they could go on the bus if they wanted. It wasn’t until Skye reminded her that the twins would need things for school that she agreed to take them the day after though she’d just put in an order to be delivered that day.

 

When mum didn’t need me to help her anymore, I managed to get away to my room and play a game on my computer for a while before Skye came and asked if I’d done the homework I was supposed to hand in on the first day back at school. Of course, when I logged into the school portal to check, I found I had got a pile of homework that I hadn’t done, I didn’t really want to do it either but knew I’d be in more trouble if I didn’t so I tried to organize it into some kind of schedule that would mean I could get it done over the next few days and still have some time for myself.

 

I was surprised to get a call that evening from Louise, she apparently didn’t understand some of the homework that our science teacher, Mr Anderson, had set and wanted me to tutor her. She was amused that I was grounded, laughing as though it was the most stupid thing she’d ever heard.

 

“You got grounded over a lil fight with my cousin? Your parents really do wanna keep you all in the dark ages don’t they?”

 

“The girls are all going out shopping for school uniform stuff tomorrow so I’ve gotta sit in mum’s workshop and wait for some stuff to be delivered. I swear she couldn’t have found anything more boring.”

 

“Maybe I should come over there and you can teach me the ins and outs of it or I could just help you with something hard.” She purred. I knew she was deliberately saying things in a way that could be misunderstood. “There’s usually so many people there and I wouldn’t want you to get lonely all on your own.”

 

“More than that now, my cousins have moved in till some stuff gets sorted out.”

 

“I can’t wait to meet them.” She sounded bored at the idea so I couldn’t tell if she was being genuine or if she was just being polite.

 

“They’ll be out tomorrow too, they’ll be coming to school with us for a bit so they need uniforms and stuff.” I said without thinking.

 

“I’ll see what Kelvin is doing, I think he and Allen are going fishing tomorrow.” I’d noticed before that she always used her dad’s name instead of a more familiar term.

 

“What difference does that make?” I asked.

 

“I might have to go with them.” She answered a little more warily as though she had told me something that she wasn’t supposed to. I heard someone saying something in the background, but I couldn’t hear them clearly enough to hear what they were saying. “Um, I’ve got to go. Bye.” Louise suddenly ended the conversation, hanging up almost before she’d finished speaking.

 

Mum rounded everyone out of bed by nine o’clock the next morning. So that everyone was ready when she wanted to go to the shops. By eleven, the house was quiet and I was on my own. Even dad had gone out, taking his company car out while mum took the van.

 

I’d looked on mums computer and noticed that there was almost nothing on there, she didn’t even have a card game on there which I’d thought was automatically put on all computers when you set them up. From where I was sitting I could see down the driveway so I knew I would see when the delivery van pulled in.

 

I was looking for a reasonable game I could play online without downloading anything when someone knocked on the front door of mums workshop though I knew I hadn’t seen anyone on the driveway. Assuming it was just the postman I dragged myself out of the chair and answered the door, grumpily jerking it open.

 

Louise stood on the doorstep fiddling with her phone as I stood there for a moment with my brain totally blanked out. She was wearing the tightest crop top I’ve ever seen a girl wear and it was very clear that she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath it. As I looked over her, my eye was drawn to the new addition of a piercing that still looked raw and new, though the way the gem on the end in her belly button glittered and sparkled in the light as she moved. Beyond the piercing was a tiny black, micro mini-skirt. In the back of my mind, I could hear mum disapproving and commenting on how the skirt was barely more than a belt.

 

“You just going to stare or you going to invite me in?” She asked with a sly smile. My eyes snapped back to her face and I noticed the red mark near her eye for the first time.

 

“Yea come in. You ok?” I mumbled, indicating the mark on her face. She quickly pulled her long dark brown over her face to hide the mark. As she arranged her hair I saw the dark black bruises on her neck before she managed to hide them again.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She flashed her normal grin at me, showing off her teeth and it suddenly struck me how false it was. That she was just pretending to be happy and ok, it reminded me of how Amelia had been acting with my parents, particularly my dad.

 

“Um, the rest are all out so I can’t introduce you to the twins or anything.” I stumbled as I led the way into mums workroom and indicated the couch she had in there for customers. “You um, want something to drink?” I added as inspiration hit me.

 

“I came to see you, you told me yesterday they would be out.” She purred, deliberately flopping into the middle of the couch. “What drinks have you got?”

 

“Sprite, coke, mineral water, what you want?”

 

“Don’t suppose you got anything stronger have you? I need a drink.”

 

“Dad keeps that cupboard locked after Summer started stealing it.”

 

“Fuck. Guess I’ll have a coke then.” She sighed. By the time I’d fetched her a can of coke and returned she was on the phone. I put the can next to the couch and looked around lamely for something to sit on opposite her, she smiled more genuinely at me and patted the couch beside her indicating I should sit there. Her call didn’t take long and although I heard her flirting with whoever it was I could see by the expression on her face that she wasn’t really into it.

 

“Wanna tell me about which bit you didn’t understand in Anderson’s homework? I can get my book if you need me to.” I asked after she hung up.

 

“Um, that was a lie really. I’ve already done it.” She confessed a little sadly.

 

“Ok. Why are you here then?” I asked, confused that she would actually tell me it was a lie.

 

“I wanted to see you. You’ve been away so I couldn’t talk to you. My cousin said you came back from holiday early though.”

 

“Yeah, mum’s sister got murdered, kinda made it impossible to have much of a holiday.” I complained and slumped into the seat beside her.

 

“Fuck! Were you close to her?” Louise asked, apparently genuinely concerned for me, twisting in the seat so that she could face me. Her movement raised her skirt again and made it quite clear, as I tried not to look, that it was so small, that it was so small, the panties and the skirt had to be one piece to make sure that it didn’t show anything it shouldn’t.

 

“Not really, hadn’t seen her for a few years.” I dismissed the thought and tried harder not to look at her as she put her arms round me and pulled me close.

 

“That must have been difficult anyway. Were you there at the time? Did you see it? Was there a lot of blood?” She seemed to get excited thinking about it and the questions poured out of her.

 

“I wasn’t there, I didn’t see anything. We’re not supposed to talk about it though it’s under investigation still.”

 

“Ugh, I hate it when they say that. Did you miss me when you were away though?” I wasn’t really sure if she changed the subject because she sensed I didn’t know anything exciting or if she was trying to be sensitive.

 

“I didn’t have a lot of time to think about anything really, like a said, a lot of stuff happened.” She pouted at me mockingly.

 

“I missed you. You could have at least said you missed me.”

 

“Yea right, you were probably too busy screwing someone to miss me really, I don’t find lying as easy as you do.” I shrugged being more brutally honest than I intended. She was quiet for a long moment before she answered.

 

“I never mean to lie to you.” She offered quietly, letting me go and sitting back as though she were defeated. “Sometimes it just happens.”

 

“Yea like telling me you needed to study.” I sniped back, without thinking. She looked sad and I thought for a moment she might cry.

 

“That was different, more like playing or teasing.” She tried to justify herself. “It was how I got you to come over to mine the first time, remember? I did say you’d get another chance.” She smirked.

 

“I didn’t remember till you mentioned it. It didn’t feel like playing when you laughed at me though.” I grumbled.

 

“Sorry ‘bout that. I, um, I didn’t mean it personally. It just amused me that you were all full of talk at school and everyone came to you for advice on sex but when you got to it, it was all bull shit and you didn’t know anything practical. At least I got your cherry though.”

 

“When you’ve got half the schools cherry, getting mine for a bet isn’t that great an achievement is it?” She actually looked scared for a moment.

 

“You know about that huh?”

 

“Yea. I know.” I said grumpily.

 

“It wasn’t meant to be like that. I told Mackenzie that I liked you and she bet that she knew you better than I did so she’d get your cherry easier than I could. It was just talk then I don’t know who heard us talking but they spread it around that we’d got a bet on about it and pretty soon Mackenzie had money on it with my cousin so I had to or she’d have got you.” I could see that she was being earnest and part of me wanted to expose where the lie was because I really didn’t want to believe her.

 

“Yea, yea, you? have a thing for me? I don’t believe that for a moment.” I started to laugh thinking that it was just a joke but I saw the tears well up in her eyes.

 

“I know they say I’m a slut, I can’t help that I’m pan’. I still have feelings though. What would make you believe me?” I was shocked and didn’t know what to say.

 

“I, um; I don’t, don’t know what to say, what is it that you want Louise? are you saying you want to go out with me or what?” I managed to get the words out eventually though my thoughts were disorganized and chaotic as I tried to understand what she meant.

 

“I can’t go out with you. Kelvin would rather kill me. I don’t really know what I want either. I should probably go, this was a fucking stupid idea.” She stood up convulsively and I saw the tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

 

“I don’t fucking understand a thing!” I shouted at her, my own confusion bubbling over into anger at everything and everyone. I saw her flinch away from me as I shouted and was immediately overwhelmed with remorse. I’d never seen her flinch like that. It reminded me of a dog I’d seen somewhere, knowing it was going to get hit when someone shouted at it, it had flinched, closing its eyes, waiting for the blow.

 

“Don’t hit me, I’ll be good.” She whimpered confirming my thought. I caught hold of her wrist and stopped her leaving, she didn’t fight my grip at all, as though she thought fighting me would make things worse for her, she just stood there, hanging her head.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m not angry at you. Tell me everything from the beginning, including why you think I’m going to hit you. Does your dad hit you?” I tried to soothe her but the girl I knew had disappeared, there was just a dead look in her eyes.

 

“You are angry, don’t pretend that you’re not and that you aren’t going to fuck me now. Guess all guys are the same really.”

 

“Louise, sit down and talk to me. I’m not going to do anything to you, I just want to understand. Here.” I pulled a tissue from the box by the couch and handed it to her as I pulled her back onto the sofa, this time making sure that she was at one end and I was at the other. Her sudden breakdown had made me confused but I also had a nasty feeling that she’d been in pain for a long time and I didn’t know the half of it. She sat sideways on the sofa, spreading her legs, letting her panties pull tight across her crotch, showing me her camel toe.

 

“I’m used to it you know, you can fuck me till you’re not angry anymore.” She sighed, still not quite believing that I meant it.

 

“Louise, I’m not going to fuck you.” I said as gently as I could manage. “I just want you to talk.”

 

“Why?” She demanded, suspicion in her eyes as she dabbed at her eyes with the tissue. “Not like it will change anything.” She sneered.

 

“It might, I just want to know, to understand why you are in pain.”

 

“You want to feel better about yourself I suppose.”

 

“Did Jimmy rape you like he raped my sister?” I made a stab in the dark, hoping it would shake her enough to make her realize I was being serious. She blew her nose loudly. And looked me right in the eye.

 

“Sorry.” She mumbled, visibly pulling herself together.

 

“I asked if …” I began, thinking that she hadn’t heard.

 

“No. I heard you. I didn’t mean to get so worked up… You sure you wanna hear it all?” She asked quietly, looking away from me and taking a deep breath. “You’ll probably think I’m just a whore by the time I finish though.”

 

“I won’t judge.” I promised, “Tell me everything.”

 

“Ok, gimmie that coke and don’t interrupt me or I’ll never get to the end.” She ordered. I handed her the can of coke and waited while she opened it and took a big swig from it. Collecting herself she looked down at the couch, refusing to look at me as she began.

 

“When mum was alive things weren’t too bad. She was always so proud of me and everything I did. I didn’t know then about Kelvin work, there was always plenty of money and so on. As mums cancer got worse though I think he tried to help in his own way, he got her drugs for the pain and stuff besides the ones that the doctors gave her, insisted she’d get better in no time. Obviously he started having to deal more to pay for what he was getting for her so it became obvious where the money came from. Then mum died and he kinda just threw himself further into it, started letting his bosses organize parties at the house and stuff. At first he’d only do it when I wasn’t going to be home but soon his boss had a string of bimbos latched onto him and he stopped caring if I was there or not. His boss actively tried to get me to join in, gave me drugs, booze, everything till I was so wasted I didn’t know what was happening. Then one day, about six months after mum had died, I came home to the aftermath of a party, I went to bed, thinking nothing of it but Kelvin came in and told me it was time I started paying my way, that he was sick of the bimbos and their sloppy cunts. I guessed he was off his face and thought he’d go away again but he was yelling and a lot bigger than me so I was scared when he started taking my covers.

 

I tried to get away from him but he caught me. I was only eleven so I guess it was a bit inevitable that he would. When he caught me, he beat me then held me down while his bosses fucked me. Kelvin took his turn last while one of his bosses took pictures. They all beat me then, told me that if I behaved I’d be ok. They brought some other woman in and told me that if I didn’t behave I’d end up like her, she was so fucked up man it was scary, she was seeing things and drooling and everything, infront of me they slit her throat and let the blood spray all over me. I was so fucking scared, it was like something out of a fucking horror film. I never saw the bosses again after that but Kelvin fucked me every night, sometimes he’d bring others back with him and tell me to fuck them. Any time I tried to resist he would beat me and stop the drugs he’d been giving me till I gave in. I got brave once and told Genette who got me to tell Allen, who told her it was all lies made up by a rebellious teenager so she never believed me again. Allen and Kelvin really beat me that night, that’s when I got those scars on my back, remember I told you I got them off a tree? Well that’s when they gave me those, they whipped me with a thorny branch off a tree in the garden. Really laid it on that I was used good and no one would believe me ever again. Stupidly I’d told Genette about the drugs and how I’d stopped taking them. So they knew they hadn’t got that over me anymore but Kelvin reminded me about the woman they had killed infront of me and said he’d do it himself if I told anyone else. Of course that was when Jimmy found out and threatened to tell everyone and say I’d told if I didn’t give him some too so I ended up giving in. So I’m just their toy now, so long as I give them what they want when they want, they mostly leave me alone. This, was their idea of a bit of fun before they went out this morning.” She finished, clearly showing me the bruises on her neck for the first time, even I could see that the black marks were where she’d been bitten. “So there you have it, the truth, the whole truth and nothing like the truth from a lying teenage whore.” She finished with a sigh, letting her hands fall into her lap as we both heard a big truck pull up outside.