“D-Do I really have to?”

“Yes.”

“B-But what if-”

“Elise, they won’t even be looking at you.”

“If one slips p-past though…”

“You’re the one with a defense stat, you should be the one tanking anyways!”

“She’s not gonna miss any of them, and I promise I’ll cover you too, so relax.”

Both Monica and Prim were behind Elise, shoulders braced against her armor as they slowly managing to slide the heavily armored deer in headlights towards the small cave entrance in front of them.

The next stop on their trip to complete a laundry list of quests sat a long ways down the same road they’d been on before, having just arrived a few moments ago, the four of them still vaguely smelling like smoke as they peered inside.

“Um… I-I dunno…”

“Look, all you have to do is just attack. You don’t even have to move, I’ll bring them right over to you, easy peasy, no sweat at all.”

The original plan had been to get them all leveled up somewhat, mostly focusing on their fresh-faced Vanguard. But due to… certain unforeseen skill acquisitions, they’d needed to get a bit more creative with their team training outing.

Significantly less dim and gloomy than the last cave they had found themselves in, sunlight shone in through cracks in the ceiling here, patches of bushy moss and lichen giving the cave a much more cozy and welcoming feeling already. Several low level monsters wandered about, darting behind rocks and around corners, clearly not very interested in the new guests that had stepped in as they went about their business.

“Ok, ready to get started?”

“N-No, not re-”

“Glad to hear, let’s go! Taunt!”

The mage tapped her staff into the ground hard, the skill sending a shockwave out in every direction from her and washing over the monsters nearby. And the moment it reached them, the calm indifference they had before vanished as their eyes jerked towards the fox standing in the entrance.

“Now just stand back while I work...~”

Monica cracked her knuckles as she strode forward, all manner of bats, slimes, and various other weak enemies emerged from deeper into the cave, watching her like hawks as they edged closer and closer.

A tense standoff as both slowly approached one another, drawing closer and closer, until one brave little creature leapt forward, setting off a chain reaction as the fight began.

She followed suit, falling into a practiced step and dance as she meant the tiny horde head on, bobbing and weaving through them as she stacked her speed higher and higher.

“W-Wow, she really is fast…!”

“Right, you weren’t there for the last time she did this. She’s, uh… certainly something when she gets going, yeah.”

“Can you move like that too?”

“Me? No, I’m normal, unfortunately.”

The other two chatted as they watched their combination mage/tank/speed demon work, orderly leading the growing mob of monsters in circles as she gathered them up. More and more enemies flowed in, recasting Taunt every now and then to draw out more of them still as she filed them into a nice line.

“Wow there’s… haaa... lots more than I expected there to be…!”

“C-Careful…!”

Elise watched the back and forth dance nervously, clinging Silk a little too tightly as the mob ran from one side of the cave to the other, over and over, being led around by a decidedly unconcerned fox.

“Right, that’s… probably good enough to start… okay Elise, bringing them to you!”

And slowly, the Gloom Mage turned back their way, trailing a horde of tiny creatures behind them as they swarmed after her.

“E-E-Eh?! No, w-wait, um, gimme a s-second…!”

She fumbled with her sword, clattering the scabbard as she tried to draw it out, Silk dropping from her arms with a startled “chk-” as she clumsily tried to prepare.

Only barely managing to get the blade out in time, holding it directly in front of herself as she hid behind her shield, the steeling herself before the coming tide of bodies.

Monica ran the flood towards her bewildered recruit, sprinting directly towards her outstretched sword before vaulting up and off the metal slab, the monsters behind her not quite as graceful as they slammed hard against the greatshield anchored into the ground.

The towering non-tank swung wildly and randomly, eyes closed as she tried her best to swat at them from behind her barricade, occasionally managing to hit something and eventually even starting to get a kill here and there.

“H-Hey, I’m doing it, see…!”

She’d gained the smallest little trace of confidence as she saw her first actual kill poof away into loose materials and experience, soon followed by a second and third as she kept up her base.

Not wanting to feel unneeded, Prim joined in with swinging into the buffet line trailing Monica, her massive hammer beating down at a good tempo as she caught groups at a time underneath her swings.

More and more of the critters were slowly killed off, the pace steady but monotonous as they were drip-fed to the pair. After a few minutes, Elise had only climbed a single level, Prim and Monica remaining entirely unchanged.

“Can you guys… haaa… maybe speed it up a bit? Really wearing myself out here…”

“Doing my best here…! We can’t exactly deal with them as fast as you do!”

“Y-Yeah, I- gah -I’m getting as m-many as I can reach…!”

“Hmm…”

She kept up her routine of leading the monsters in circles around her more speed-challenged friends, lost in thought as she considered some way to optimize their process.

Obviously, she could have just activated Hazard Fumes and waited for them to die on their own from that. However, the issue remained that the majority of the on-kill experience, as well as any progress towards relevant skills, went primarily to the person who landed the killing blow. That meant that if the other two wanted anything from this trip, they needed to be the one dealing with the monsters preferably.

...However, there might have been a way to streamline the process somewhat.

“Elise, Prim, can you get behind that shield real quick? I have an idea!~”

“Oh I don’t like the sound of that at all…”

“Um, s-sure…!”

Their hammer and sword were stored away again, the crafter getting in front of their armored elf with Silk in between as they all braced up against the massive shield, trying to peek around the edges at what the next part of this plan was meant to be.

“Monica, how do you expect us to fight anything like this- guh.”

And both of them felt a hard impact crash against them without warning, pushing them back as they shouldered the shield harder in place.

“A-Aren’t they supposed to not be attacking u-us, what was that-”

Another heavy weight crashed into the pair, quickly followed by another, and another, the rate of impact speeding up as both of them struggled to keep upright.

Meanwhile at the far end of the cave, the one responsible worked on her vastly more efficient plan.

“Blowback! Blowback!”

Two more bodies were sent flying at high speed across the length of the cave, directly impacting the hefty shield head-on with enough force to kill the low level critters on impact.

As she’d discovered before, Blowback was still not an attack, meaning she’d effectively done none of the damage to the targets as they were splattered into the greatshield, all credit for each kill going to the two holding the “weapon” responsible for the “attack” that slayed them.

“Oh christ, she’s really- slow down a little, hang on…!”

“You guys are doing great, I believe in you!~”

The machine gun fire of bodies never slowed, Elise, Prim, and Silk all huddled for safety behind their only defense as they were pelted by their caster’s ranged assault.

----------------------------------------

It had been a good hour or two before the relentless barrage ended, not a single surviving soul in the cave still aggroed on their overeager tank.

“See, I told you guys it’d be easy, you guys didn’t even have to do anything!”

“I-I… I think I’m gonna d-die…”

“I can’t feel my legs… or my arms…”

Elise’s face had gone completely white, clearly shell-shocked as she’d gone from never being attacked once to being the target of concentrated friendly fire for an hour straight, while Prim had collapsed into a heap on the ground nearby, losing the will to get back up again after she was freed from leveling purgatory.

Silk on the other hand seemed perfectly content with the situation at hand, already seemingly used to this kind of nonsensical combat method.

“R-Really? You just had to stand there, I didn’t think it’d be that bad… s-sorry, ehe...~”

They both simply glared blankly at her, suddenly more afraid of her freakish stamina than ever before.

“Well… you both got the levels we came to get you, at least? And the quest is done for a bit more on top of that, so… all’s well that ends well, yeah?”

Amazingly, neither of them seemed inclined to immediately agree with her. They, did, however, at least manage to check the aftermath of their encounter as they scrolled through their menus.

[Monica Furdel] Lv. 19

- [Silk] Lv. 19

[Prim Proper] Lv. 17

[Elise Aelevia] Lv. 16

Massive leaps and bounds in levels for them all since the day began, Elise having already mostly caught up with the other two purely from being the owner of the dented and bloodied shield and taking a larger portion of their gains.

And in addition to raw levels, they’d managed to get a handful of skills together as well, varying in usefulness as they checked through the list.

[New Skill: Vanguard Mastery I] (Tank Classes only)

- Unlock: Block 100+ attacks with a shield or greatshield.

- Shield use no longer slows user.

- VIT increases from shield stats doubled.

[New Skill: Shield Crush]

- Unlock: Kill 50+ enemies by attacking with a shield equipped.

- Attack with equipped shield.

- Scales with shield’s VIT bonus.

[Skill Upgrade: (Vanguard Mastery I) -> (Vanguard Mastery II)]

- Unlock: Block 200+ attacks with a shield or greatshield.

- Allows dual wielding of shields.

[New Skill: Berserk Mastery I] (Berserker only)

- Unlock: Kill 100+ enemies with blunt weapons.

- Ignore 25% of target’s VIT when dealing damage.

- STR increases all damage dealt, rather than only attack damage.

[Skill Upgrade: (Berserk Mastery I) -> (Berserk Mastery II)]

- Unlock: Kill 250+ enemies with blunt weapons.

- Consecutive attacks apply a STR buff until user stops attacking.

A handful of new toys for them both, despite neither of them seemingly too interested in them at this moment as they tried to stay conscious.

“I’d planned to do a few more stops today, but… I guess you two probably need a break, then? C’mon, lets get you both back home then… guys?”

The unusually energetic caster and her monster companion were left trying to carry the other two back themselves, both of them out cold from exhaustion as they were dragged back by their deeply dissatisfied tank mage, who had only now realized how long the road back home truly was.