I emerged from a portal in a nondescript alleyway, surrounded by trash and took a deep breath of the stink filled city air. 

"Ah, modern day, home stinky home!" I sighed as I powerwalked out of the dirty alleyway and into the street outside. 

[New York City. Worst place in the world. Let's get out of here before you get the smell of poser on you.]

I chuckled.

Sheesh. That's harsh. What did New York ever do to you?

[Nothing. Just seeing all those stupid FRIENDS knockoff shows made me just sick of New York.] 

Well, it's not like I was gonna stick around anyways. I just need to make a few purchases, a little research and we'll be off. 

I shrugged as I walked over to a nearby store, silently tracing it in the process. A pawn shop.

I needed cash and someplace to trade the gold bars Bloodraven had gotten me before I left. 

The bell jingled as I entered and the shopkeeper, a young guy in his twenties with a piercing and a wardrobe that screamed punk, cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Coming from a convention? I didn't think there were any close by." He noted idly.

I looked down and realized what he was talking about. 

I looked barely sixteen, dressed in a three piece suit with a coat and hat on top. Out of place doesn't begin to define me.

I guess that's to be expected.

"Actually yes. A costume party. One I'm going to. But uh...before that, I had some things I need disposed off." I leaned against the counter and pulled out a small gold bar.

"Kid, if this is a practical joke-"

Ugh. People really don't take me seriously in this pipsqueak body. 

"Just test it. Humor me." I tapped the bar.  

He rolled his eyes and gave it a once over. Seeing nothing wrong with it he took it a step further. He opened a drawer behind him and shuffled through it till he found what he was looking for. 

One of those rare-earth neodymium magnets. He hovered it over the bar to see if there was any attraction, but the gold bar didn't even budge.

The man's brows furrowed and he put on a stern look tryinfg to intimidate me.

"Where did you get these from? Did you steal these from your mom? They seem foreign." He ran his fingers over the Braavosi stamp on it.

What he wanted to ask was, 'If I buy this, is there anyone who'll raise shit over it and how much if so?'

"Does it really matter where I got them? It's real gold and you get to have it. Quote me a good price." I brushed him off.

"You know I could call the police on you...." He threatened and I almost burst out laughing.

"Seriously?" I gestured at the shop and the surroundings outside. I had picked this shady part of town specifically because the man wasn't likely to call the cops.

The shopkeeper sighed.

"Smart brat." He muttered, "400." 

"Hah, and I thought punks couldn't joke." I snorted, "Good one." 

"This is illegal as fuck. 400 is already decent." 

"Market price is 14k. Accounting for the risk you're taking, which let's be honest, isn't much. A pawn shop in this part of town? I have no doubt you get a lot of less than legal stuff. You probably have a fence or are one yourself. Cut the crap. 10k. Per." I took out another bar and placed it on the counter to sweeten the deal.

"6k." He offered.

"10k." I stood my ground and put down another bar.

"7 and a half."

"10k." I placed a fourth bar.

"8k. And that's the best I can do." He threw up his arms.

"I'll take it. Throw in a driver's licence, and a bunch of business cards." I pointed at the setup he had at the back end of the store, probably for forging papers and documents. I had learnt about it when I traced the compound.

He looked back at the door behind him, almost instinctively to check if he had left it open. He had not.

He turned to look at me with surprise.

"Or I could call the cops." I threw his line back at him with a cheeky grin.

"Done." He laughed, swiping the bars off the counter in one smooth motion.

Minutes later, he had everything ready.

I looked at the driver's license in my hand.

Arduino Emerson. With Arduino spelled as Adriuno. 

Great. 

Thankfully, the business cards weren't as much of a disappointment. 

Printed on crisp eggshell with Romalian type complete with a watermark. Tasteful.

Ardwyll Heathschilde Ymirsson

Multiversal Merchant Magus

Think of me and I will contact you. 

What do you think?

[Eh it's okay.] 

Wait till I enchant them. You'll see. 

[You're going to turn your business cards into a pseudo mystic code? A bit.... extravagant isn't it?]

Only the best for me.

[Is that something you should be saying?] PK scoffed.

No, but when have I ever cared for social customs?

Just then my stomach growled.

Oh right, I skipped breakfast, huh...

Anyways, now that we have the moolah, let's get something to eat. And then, a little research.

.

Eating a cream cheese bagel, a New York staple, I typed away on the library computer. 

Libraries, truly one of humanity's best creations. And American libraries are just....mwah, bellissimo!

So many facilities, you could spend your days roaming around one, exploring all of it's little, mediocre wonders. 

[So about that plan....]

What about it?

[Putting a leash on god? Are you planning on conquering this world too? Brainwashing Jack Kline to get a puppet ruler in?]

Hm? No. Why would I ever do that?

[Is that an answer to the first or the second question?]

The first one? No.

I am not conquering this world. Never dream of it. This world is illogical, screwed up, and so stuffed with checks and balances that I don't think it'd ever be worth it. I mean, setting aside the stupid magic system, where there's always a newer, bigger, better spell for the monster of the week. At one point they made an enchanted gun that could fatally wound God, the creator of the multiverse and it wasn't even that hard. There are also the gods, angels- arch or otherwise, Amara, Rowena, Crowley and his demons, Knights of Hell, Asmodeus, Leviathans and of course, the chosen duo with enough flannel to cover every poser from here to LA. It's unbalanced is what it is.

Not to mention, if I manage to kill the three top dog reality warping eldritch horrors and reach the apex of this world, conquering it, either another three will randomly spawn to 'keep the balance', like what happened when Billie became Death, and given I murdered the previous holders of said tutle, they're likely to be pissed at me at the least, and actively hostile at worst. Or, or the world flickers out of existence because the balance is out of whack. 

Even if I somehow managed to seal them instead of killing them, then what? Some asshole finds or makes a new spell, messes up my operation and gets away with it? Or I spend a ton of resources policing this world? 

Suffice to say, it's not good business.

It's just not worth it. 

I have a better plan for this world. 

[A plan that involves a remote retreat in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, Colorado?]

I rolled my eyes and clicked on the About Us page of the resort and pointed at a photo.

Recognise that symbol?

[Oh.]

Oh indeed. I smiled smugly.

[I thought you were planning on keeping a low profile?]

I still am.

[How is turning the natural order on it's head 'keeping a low profile'?]

Because it's not me who'll be doing that.

[At least now I know what you meant by putting a leash on God.]

Yup. 

I copied the coordinates of the location off of Google maps and noted down the particulars, sending the plan to PK. 

Ready to go?

[Whenever you are.]

Alright, now remember, just as we planned...

[I know.] PK replied.

The ring shone with a Kaleidoscope of colours as I stepped out of the library and ducked into an alley.

A portal tore open before me at the end of the alley and I stepped through.

Time to make the deal of a lifetime. Literally. 

________________

Short chapter today.

Been out of town for a while. Hard to post.

Anyways, thanks for sticking around guys.

Tell me if you see any problems or have any criticism.

Thanks for reading.

Donate your powerstones.

Let's get to the top ten my broskis!

Add the fic to your library while you're at it too!

Bye~