3rd POV ( February 4th 2006, Oscorp)
“I understand. Approaching the target now.” Ending her phone call with Fury Natasha Romanoff, or rather Ameila Kraus swipes her card and enters the now familiar lab. Over the past few months the lab has become much more chaotic as Dr. Ziegler worked on her many pet projects but Natasha knows that these projects are all small distractions meant to keep people away from the doctor’s real work hidden in a locked metal cabinet in the back left corner of her lab.
She’s had no success so far with breaking into the thing and after the first time Dr. Ziegler accidentally left it open; she's never forgotten again. Turning away from the box that has caused her endless headaches Natasha debates changing into her lab gear while waiting for Dr. Ziegler to return from her coffee break but ultimately decides against it. She’s approaching Dr. Ziegler as an official liaison of SHIELD and as such there’s no longer any need to continue acting like a nerdy lab assistant.
‘Hopefully Dr. Ziegler will be cooperative in answering any of SHIELD’s questions. Observing her these past few months have made it clear she is genuine in her goal of helping people with her work. And besides Norman, she's very nice and respectful to everyone she meets. But having her past brought up unexpectedly could change her behaviour dramatically. I should know.’
[ding]
Natasha’s internal dialogue is interrupted by the familiar sound of the door unlocking followed by the rhythmic tapping of Dr. Ziegler’s heels. Upon fully entering the lab and spotting Natasha - who had adopted a relaxed slightly slouched posture in order to appear non threatening - Dr. Ziegler raises an eyebrow before placing her drink on the nearest desk and walking over to stand in front of Natasha, a worried frown on her face.
“Is everything alright dear? Normally you're always so eager to get started. If you're not feeling well you can take the day off. Please, don’t feel pressured. I assure you I can keep things in order for a few days while you recover.” Allowing her cheeks to blush the appropriate amount over such up close attention Natasha took a stabilising breath and stepped back straightening slightly and schooling her features.
Her abrupt change in posture seemed to finally queue Dr. Ziegler in that something strange is afoot. Taking a deep breath herself Dr. Ziegler turned away to retrieve her drink, seating herself on the nearest chair before turning to face Natasha.
“I’d thought you’d opt to keep your disguise for longer but it seems Nick Fury isn’t as patient as I thought he was. Should I keep calling you Amelia or should I refer to you by your official title Black Widow?” choosing to toss Subtlety out the window Mercy hoped to get right to the heart of the matter instead of wasting time with pointless word games.
“I prefer to go by Natasha if it’s all the same to you doctor. SHIELD didn’t plan to make contact but recent events have forced our hands.” Mentally raising the likelihood of Dr. Ziegler being in contact with other travellers to 90% Natasha maintained her semi-professional role and continued.
“As you might know doctor Dr. Bolivar Trask was assassinated last weekend. SHIELD has combed over the most likely suspects but the method either doesn’t fit or they have a solid alibi.”
“I see. So you wish to know if one of us could have been the cause? Well, while I can think of one person who could have done it I’m just as lost on their motivation as you are. It's possible they might have discovered something that made them seek out Trask’s death but it would need to be very dangerous for them to have acted themselves instead of coming to me.”
“Coming to you?” Natasha asked even though she had long speculated that there was more than just good intentions behind Mercy’s decision to become such a public figure in the world of medicine.
“Oh come off it. There’s no need to pretend, just the barest of rumours have made it clear how talented the famed Black Widow is at her job. I made my first project such a huge success in part so that anyone else who crossed over knew they could come to me if they needed help.”
“Not many seem to have taken up the offer.” Attempting to change the direction of the conversation away from the many unsavoury rumours surrounding herself in the criminal underworld Natasha decided to push how much information Dr. Ziegler would actually offer of her own accord.
“Hmmm. Oh I don’t know, there all busy people can’t expect all of them to take the time out of the day to come visit an old friend.” Shutting down Natasha’s attempt to gain more information Mercy sat back waiting for Natasha to start the negotiations.
“ Dr. Ziegler SHIELD is prepared to sponsor any of your projects under the conditions that they be strictly monitored and distributed according to SHIELD policy.” Taking a seat now that it’s become clear this will be a long conversation Natasha sighed internally but kept her face blank trying not to show her annoyance at having to play politician.
“ SHIELD policy? You mean the ‘keep it in the US and lord it over the rest of the world policy?’ I think not. Distribution for any of my medical equipment needs to be global or we can stop these negotiations right now. I’m here to improve the world if SHIELD wants to get in the way of that…Well you're not the only people who want my tech” Disdain dripped from her words as Mercy spoke on SHIELD’s past history when getting their hands on advanced tech.
“Doctor if you wish for SHIELD to continue protecting you from interested third parties we require some type of benefit. I can speak with my superiors about expanding distribution but I need something to give them to sweeten the pot.” Leaning forward and grabbing Dr. Ziegler’s hand, Natasha’s eyes brimmed with sympathy as she tried to convey to the doctor how much she’d like to agree to her conditions but couldn’t because of her bosses demands.
Sighing to herself Dr. Ziegler stood up and moved over to the locked cabinet. Calmly she entered a code onto the panel before a drawer popped out of the bottom. Layers of mist rolled off of a metal containment box Dr. Ziegler pulled out before returning to the table and laying it between her and Natasha.
“When I figured out your true identity two months ago I began putting something together for just this occasion. Inside of this box is a chemical compound that can be compressed into pellets and loaded into custom rifles. When a target is hit the pellets break open releasing a gas that will immediately make anyone in a 1 metre radius fall unconscious for up to 20 minutes. I’m prepared to give SHIELD the formula under 3 conditions.”
“1 SHIELD will provide me with the resources needed to complete my projects. 2 SHIELD will not hinder the distribution of any of my medical equipment. 3 Any travellers who come to me for help may not be apprehended without just cause.”
“...I’ll need to speak with my superiors to make a decision of this level.” Reluctantly Natasha surrendered the negotiations recognizing that Dr. Ziegler raised the playing field above her level. She’d need to speak with Director Fury to get permission before agreeing to terms like those.
“I expected as much. [Sigh] What a shame for all your forged credentials. You were good company Natasha. I will miss having you in the lab.” Standing Mercy offered Natasha a smile before stepping to the side. Understanding the gesture for what it is Natasha stood up and gave Mercy a smile of her own.
“The pleasure was all mine doctor. I should be back with good news in a week's time at most. With my withdrawal SHIELD will be expending slightly less resources to your protection then before. Be careful and try not to stay out late.”
“There’s no need to worry about me dear, I have the highest quality protection the world can offer. Isn’t that right, Genji?” At Mercy’s call Genji fell from the roof of the lab and landed silently at her side making Natasha jump and pull her gun from her waist.
“Yes doctor. While I am here no harm shall come on to you.” Genji’s mechanical voice reverberated throughout the room jolting Natasha out of her panic. Slowly lowering her gun Natasha turned a questioning eye to Mercy only to get a sly smirk in response.
“What? I didn’t say no one found the time did I?” Smile still in place Mercy watched as Natasha sighed before reholstering her sidearm.
“Oh and take this with you. There should be enough in there for you to fire a dozen rounds and still have enough left over for your scientists to look over. Not that they’ll find anything but they can try.” Handing Natasha the metal case Mercy waved her out of the lab with a smile before turning around to Genji and giving him a pat on the shoulder as she moved deeper into the room.
“Thanks for your help Genji. As much as I dislike violence it’s unfortunately the only thing most people seem to respond to even in another world.” Sighing in disappointment Mercy opened another compartment in her cabinet revealing a small mechanical robot. Placing it on the nearby counter and clicking the activation button on the back Mercy watched as the little machine ran around the lab destroying any cameras or voice recorders.
“Come while it cleans up, let's go have a meal.” And with that Mercy walked out of the room with Genji silently trailing behind her in the shadows.
AN: I think my shitty upload schedule’s kinda expected at this point so I'm not gonna bother with apologising but I want to make it clear that I will never drop one of my novels. Rushed ending maybe but I’ll never just stop producing a story and I’ll make clear announcements before taking any big breaks.
That said over winter break as I was going over the story I found a lot of things I didn’t really like and it got me thinking about rewriting this story so tomorrow I’m going to post a poll in the morning/whenever I wake up and I’m gonna leave it open till probably Tuesday afternoon (web novel only). It’ll just be a yes or no to whether you’d like to see a rewrite. Please keep things easy a +1 in either comment section is all I need to tally but if you want to include a short message with ideas that's cool too.
Just to give you guys an idea of what would be changing if I rewrote the book, here's some of the big changes I’ve already thought about.
1)The prologue will be shorter and Tracer isn’t gonna go back 100 times. The start of this book was made when I wasn’t considering posting online at all and as such when I worked up the nerve to post it online I did it in a rush and didn’t go over anything cause I didn’t want to give myself the option to pus*y out. So I didn't really think about the impact 500 years of apocalypse would really have on somebody. And I don't think I could properly write a character that is damaged yet so I’d just be cutting that down.
2)Mackenzie is gonna be transmigrated, not reincarnated. I gave Makenzie a family so that he’d feel attached to the Marvel world and wouldn’t experience any existential struggles with a world dictated by a plot. But with the other OW heroes there to help him and the lack of attention I gave his family it feels unnecessary looking back on it. Instead I’d probably be dropping him off in a shitty experience that would cause him to transform and lead into Reaper’s initial massacre.
3)I’m gonna slightly alter how his power works. I like the physical and mental adaptation but a few chapters ago I added the emotional connection bit and I don’t like that idea anymore. Instead I think I’m gonna have the characters impact his non transformed self more.
4)Lastly, I’m gonna change the after effects of Reaper’s death. Reaper’s death was a big turning point for Makenzie’s character in the story but I feel like it got kinda ruined because I pushed it off by several chapters wanting to wait till I had more free time to really put my all into the chapter and I think the story would be more cohesive if those not so helpful filler chapters were removed.
Feel free to let me know what you think about any of these changes.
P.S. Scribblehub readers just comment on this chapter what you guys want.
-1 for rewrite.
In general I think rewrites are bad for the health of stories. I tend to think of it in the same vein as running away from the problem only to come back with new ones.
Not everything in a story is perfect and everyone has been told more than enough times that perfection isn’t achievable. Especially in this chapter by chapter format where you have all the time to look back at what you’ve made now that it’s released to the world and grimace at it. On the other hand, you have just as much time to push on with new ideas that inevitably come with learning along the way.
For my personal opinion, I think your story is great and the only thing I would change is the infrequent release schedule.
But I also recognize that authors are the people most critical of their story, and while this is the same spiel that everyone gets, you are probably the only one being that critical of it. Also because that is just a regurgitated spiel, I’ll give you my opinions on the individual points too.
1.The worst thing something made for entertainment can be is boring. Stuff that is strictly realistic is, most of the time, boring as shit. Plus, I’d say the falls under the category of ‘minor details’. In the overarching purview of this story the time of which he spent just sitting back and watching has little impact on the story; unless you were to bring it down to be something inconsequential. The most hard hitting part of this story for me (Reaper’s sacrifice) was only so because this was consequential factor of our MC’s life (lives?
). Outside of that it doesn’t really matter how many loops it was could’ve been a million and all it would ever do is make it a bit more silly. (Can’t remember if this really happened) But wasn’t there something about him basically disassociating and mentally shutting down? If you want it to be directly linked to his mental health then that seems like a good enough explanation for me. I an nowhere near above bullshiting and giving an explanation like that wouldn’t bother me at all. For a work of fiction with hosts of magical and inexplicable events this seems like a very minor detail for the story overall.
2.I think writing out his family would be missing the trees for the forest so to speak. With how much you’re adding to the plot progression, you’re also taking away from the simple character points. Having his family (obligatory ‘to me’) served as an attachment point not only for him to the world, but also for us to him. Having him start out as a vulnerable child humanizes him in a big way, especially after the very character-detached prologue. It sets up some comfort for us through a sense of normalcy. And while back to back tension can create a thrilling story, it can also leave people drained. The biggest thing of all for me is relation; being able to relate to a character, even if it’s done worse from a critical writing basis, is better from an emotional standpoint. It’s easy to relate to loss of family members but it’s not easy to relate to being dropped in a war zone or whatever idea you might’ve had. Like I said at the beginning, you have all the time you could want (or feel like putting in) to build up things or flesh out ideas and I don’t see that time spent in the family focused chapters as wasted. Future chapters can introduce character developments just as well as past chapters could already have them.
3.Half of this I agree with and half I don’t. For the dislike to the aspects of the power I feel like that is a valid concern. Having plot holes introduced in your core ideas by a hasty decision feels bad and makes it hard to push past it without having it itch at the back of your mind. But letting it create ‘what if’ scenarios is what kills stories. It’s easy to notice that higher quality stories have both a significantly slower upload schedule than low quality ones but they’re also end up getting dropped much more frequently. Part of telling a good story is thinking back on your ideas and trying to improve on them, that’s a good trait to have. But part of being a good author is actually telling that story! So, I will give the point not-so-easy suggesting of going back and retconning the things you are most bothered by and then leaving it. I will admit, as an author it’s kind of a lose-lose scenario for you. You only get to change things to a degree that fit with the rest of the story and you have to put in the work to go back and change it. But for me, it’s a big win because the story keeps moving along.
I’m a big selfish reader who wants more chapters to date my sick and twisted desire.
4.I have been massively wordy so far but as a sign of good faith, I’ll keep this one short. I disagree with this, I don’t even know what ‘filler’ you’re talking about, I think it’s pretty good as is.
Ok ok, you got me, I’m just writing all this out so I have a better chance at swaying you to my side. I can’t beat out popular vote as just one single guy but I have seen a lot of stories fall the to the trap of the elusive ‘rewrite’; the fantasized version of the story where everything is better and the most exceptionally goodest it can be. And while I won’t say it never pays off or that your concerns about the story aren’t valid (I mean, you’re the one writing the damn thing after all), I don’t see them in such a way.
Every story has got problems and a rewrite might just fix a few of em, but the story is gonna have problems again once you write all the back up to chapter 42 for a second time and start writing past it. I just think it’s plain better to lie to yourself and call them unexpected uniqueness instead.
Sorry for the chonky rant but that’s how just how I operate sometimes.
Anyway, if you get this far thanks for reading it. Doubly thanks if you end up actually considering any of my word vomit. And triply thanks if you… compliment my name? Or something?
…Quadruple thanks if you.. uh, uhm-
Thanks for the detailed response you've given me a lot to think about. It's really heartening to see someone dedicate so much time to a response. Thank you.
I vote for no rewrite!
I realy enjoying reading this story, i'll keep reading this story till the end
and for the author thank's for write an awsome OW2 novel i realy like it
Thank you for the chapter
Like the current story would continue reading it if you continued writing it but if you really feel it needs a rewrite I’m fine with it (Doing this on a phone so I can’t make paragraphs) 1
Yeah I thought the same before I found out the exceptionally dumb thing you have to do to make them.
You can only hit the ‘return’ button and have it actually make a new paragraph if there is something after the point you are trying to make a paragraph from.
So if you hit return at the end of a sentence then nothing will happen, but if you do it
in the middle of it
then it makes a new line.
What I do is just press space then drag my blinking line indicator thingy to be behind that space and it allows you to create a new line.
The first to read this chapter
You are the author man, if you want to re-write go for it. The story so far is great also +1 for a rewrite cause you sound like you want to write a rewrite.
I just want good reads, nothing more, nothing less....
Tftc btw
Almost forgot +1
1 in rewriting but I don't care as long as you finish it or say clearly that's where I leave it