“Ah! Getting kicked out of the Adventurers Guild and being framed by my former party is making me hungry!” Sigaki-Kyakun angrily grumbled as he entered his local Chubby Boy restaurant.

The little doorbell rang, alerting John (Bob’s boss (I think (idk))) of Sigaki-Kyakun’s presence.

“What can I get for you?” John spoke with a wide-eyed smile.

“Uh, lemme get a Delight Meal and…t-two McSlurpy Slurps.” Sigaki-Kyakun carelessly said after a few seconds of looking at the menu.

“Sure thing!” John cheerfully said as he turned around and hollered at the fuming kitchen, “Hey dumbass! Make a Delight Meal and two McSlurpy Slurps and make them fast!”

“You got it boss!” A chipper voice responded as a patty audibly hit the grill and began to sizzle.

“Why’s he sizzling burgers? I ordered a Delight Meal.” Sigaki-Kyakun asked in confoundment.

John sighed, dropping his façade.

“He’s been doing that shit all morning. No matter what order I give him, he always cooks fucking burgers! H-H doesn’t even cook them, he just flips them! Over and over again until they’re nothing but burnt crisps!”

“…I see.”

“I’ve tried to stop him, but for some reason he transformed into some buff giant!”

“…I see.”

“I’ve considered reporting him to S.H.I.E.L.D. but honestly what’s the point, I’m living off of minimum wage, what the hell has S.H.I.E.L.D. done to deserve of my benevolent presence?!”

“…I see.”

Ignoring John’s strange delusional rambles, Sigaki-Kyakun politely seated himself at one of Chubby Boy’s tables, just hoping he’d at least get something to eat.

As he waited, Sigaki-Kyakun began to wonder where it all began…

-Five Years Ago-

“Bye mom!”

“Bye son!”

A young sixteen-year-old Sigaki-Kyakun could be seen leaving his home with an excited expression. Today was the Skill Ceremony, where those who reached age sixteen and officially became adults were granted Skills from the One Above All.

Skills, or sometimes referred to as Jobs, were extraordinary abilities only acquired at their Gift Ceremony.

For example, “Dragon Slayer”, “Blacksmith”, “Taxi Driver” were all Skills granted by the One Above All. Because they allotted other skills like “Unparalleled Sword Skills” “Body Reinforcement” and “Smooth Driving”, Skills like these were referred to as Jobs, a much rarer version than a Skill.

It didn’t need to be said that Sigaki-Kyakun was absolutely excited.

‘I wonder what kind of skill I will get; oh, I hope I can something like “Hero” or “Sage”!!!’

“Onii-Chan, wait for me!” A little girl said as she caught up to Sigaki-Kyakun, panting in exasperation.

‘I wonder how she looks like skinned alive’ Sigaki-Kyakun blissfully thought to himself.

“Sorry about that.” Sigaki-Kyakun said with a smile.

“Hmph! It’s not like I tried putting cyanide in your drink or anything!” Alice 2 puffed her cheeks and turned her head, revealing a golden cross necklace hanging from her neck.

“Alice is that…”

“Hmph! It’s not like I wore it because of our promise or anything! I only wore it because it makes me look nice! Hmph!”

“Sure, Alice 2, sure.” Sigaki-Kyakun mischievously smiled, quickening his steps, and forcing Alice 2 to hurry up.

Passing by a certain house, Sigaki-Kyakun’s childhood friend, Jessi also joined the two.

“Hello, Sigaki-Kyakun!” Jessi energetically said as she wrapped her arm around Sigaki-Kyakun’s arm. Making Alice 2 smile as she saw Jessi breathe in the asbestos she placed on Sigaki-Kyakun’s left shoulder.

“Hello, Alice 2.” Jessi said in a deadpan manner.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It means she hates you.” Sigaki-Kyakun’s fiancée, Alice stoically said as she appeared behind Alice 2, almost like teleporting.

“Ah! It’s not like you scared me or anything! Hmph!”

“It’s true, I do.” Jessi said with a smile, the asbestos having already traveled all the way to her lungs.

“Good to know.” Alice 2 grumbled.

“Alice, Jessi, you guys are heading to the church too?” Sigaki-Kyakun said in surprise.

“Yup! We’re all the same age, remember?”

“Hmm. I seem to remember.” Sigaki-Kyakun nodded in agreement.

It was true, they were all the same age. The Skill Ceremony wasn’t on one’s birthday, it was an annual event, that was why even though Alice 2 was nine months younger than Sigaki-Kyakun, she also qualified for the Skill Ceremony.

“In that case, off to the Skill Ceremony we go!”

[To be continued]