Chapter 15:

Crashing Memories

Cecelia stood before the door, hands upon the handles.

"Alex, before you see this room..." Her words gave me pause, the seriousness in her tone mixed with a warning, "Promise me...you won't freak out. I-If you do..."

She was trembling, something I never thought I'd see. This was really important to her.

"Come on, Alex...do something," Reaching my hand out towards her, I placed it as comfortingly as I could upon the back of her shoulder.

"Cecelia..." I spoke softly, caringly, "I don't know a lot, but I know that I've been hurt, and it seems you have too..."

She was silent, her face hidden by shadows. Moving my hand gently over her shoulder blade, I felt the muscles and flesh beneath my hand.

"She is real," I held to the shirt she wore, taking her all in.

Comfortable jeans and a long-sleeved sweater. The way her jeans formed to her legs caused my mind to be quite distracted, but I had to focus. Though she made it difficult.

"What I'm saying is..." Wrapping my arms around her from behind, I hugged her to me, "I can't promise you of my reaction, but I can promise you my feelings."

I felt one of her arms hold mine to her. Her hand was firm, but a slight tremble went through it. Pulling her closer, I smelled the soft scent of lilac and I felt relaxed. It was her smell. Such a light, flowery smell so as not to be overpowered, with a hint of other subtle smells.

"...You even know I don't like strong scents," I whispered into her back, "You have done so much, and been so considerate...and I don't do anything."

"That's not true!" It was the first time she said anything in all this time, it was so sudden that I was quite surprised, "I-I mean...don't say that. It's not true."

Turning towards me, I found myself buried against her chest. She blushed, apologizing, but I didn't mind. Looking up at her, she lowered her voice a bit.

"Are you sure?" I chuckled softly, "I really don't do much."

"...You make me happy," Her pout was adorable, "You don't have to do anything. Let me do everything. You just have to be happy and love me."

"...Well, mission accomplished. Partly, anyways," I ran my hands along her back, feeling her to make sure I still wasn't dreaming, "I love you, and as for being happy...I am, but chronic depression doesn't just go away."

"...I know," Her smile was sweet, though she sighed in frustration, "You know, it's unfair how cute you can be sometimes."

"W-What?" I found myself blushing and laughing involuntarily, "I haven't even done anything!"

"Yes, you have, you just can't see your face," She retorted, her smugness back, "And all this...touching and hugging. Do more of that."

Blushing, I suddenly felt super self-conscious.

"O-Okay...I'll try," Nodding, I smiled warmly into her.

"Now then..." Taking a measured breath, she turned back towards the door, "Let's stop stalling...and, thank you, my love."

She looked down at me who was wrapped around her midsection. My head poking beneath her arm as I still hugged her from behind. I could feel the warmth and tenderness from her smile.

Placing her hands upon the handle to the door, the key was produced in the form of a hand and eye scanner. It was something I didn't even know about as a blue grid-like pattern ran over the handles and scanned her eye.

"Ha, I wouldn't have even been able to get in..." I felt quite ashamed and pretty foolish.

"No," She replied softly, "The doors would open for you...they have your scans."

"Th-They do?" It was unexpected, but she didn't seem to be lying.

"Yes..." She answered, the scans turning green as the handles turned.

The doors opened with a momentous groan. Light filtered into the room beyond from the hallway, but it wasn't enough to see. Darkness enveloped the room. Stepping inside, the doors closed behind us. My eyes couldn't adjust right away.

Shifting around, I stood a bit straighter and held her hand. I wasn't sure what I would see in here, but it was awkward to walk around like we had been. I was about to speak up about the lights when Cecelia spoke up.

"...Alexander, lights on," Her voice held authority.

"I-I don't know where-" I was confused, unsure why she asked me.

"Of course, Miss," An AI voice, which sounded eerily similar to my own, answered, interrupting me.

Lights, one by one began to turn on. Like a museum, pictures lined the wall. Display cases held various items. At the center of the room was a hologram...that looked exactly like me.

"Welcome, miss," The AI spoke through the hologram, "Welcome, sir."

"Th-That's...trippy," A pounding in my head began to start.

Looking around the room, I noticed the walls filled with photos, all dated, of me. There was nothing before the age of ten, but everything after that, and even up until now lay bare before my eyes. The entire room was dedicated to me.

"I've...heard about people like this, but..." Glancing over to Cecelia, I saw her shifting and fidgeting anxiously, "Why me? Of all the people..."

She pulled at the sleeves and picked at the hem of her sweater. A blush of embarrassment ran across her cheeks, and all I could do is smile.

"...Cute," The thought came unannounced, but it was the only word in that moment.

The world just continued to spin as the pain in my head increased. It was like something was knocking at my door, wanting to get in. Locked away and bursting at the seams. Pictures of me with my exes, all of them crossed out or well-edited to put Cecelia there instead.

There was even a picture of the exact moment I walked in and saw my last ex cheat on me. Both her and her new boyfriend were viciously crossed out. More so than any of the others.

Looking towards Cecelia, she was twisting her hair around her finger as she anxiously waited. My heart pounded in my chest. I wasn't sure if it was out of fear or because my head felt like a watermelon about to explode. Stepping back from the walls, I took everything in.

Thump, thump, thump. The sound of blood coursing through my body. The room spun, shrunk, and I felt my legs give out. Catching myself on a nearby display case as Cecelia took a step in my direction, concern on her face.

I held up a hand and gave her a reassuring smile to let her know I was fine, but in reality, I wasn't. My eyes took in what was in the display case. A book, old and worn. Water damage and a cover so used that the title was no longer eligible, but I knew that book. It was my favorite as a child.

It was like I just took a plunge into the coldest of waters, and I was falling fast into memories of long ago. A park where I went to get away from my parents arguing. A quiet place to read. A girl with auburn, ombre hair and amber eyes. Cold and distant.

I was afraid of them at first, but that changed over time. Memories flooded in, causing me to become even more woozy. I felt like I was about to throw up. Not because of what I was seeing here, but the sudden influx of memories I didn't know I had.

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