The first month of school seems to crawl by until finally, a couple of days before my surgery, Mom calls the school and informs them that I’ll be having surgery and will not be attending school for a while, so they should email the coursework to my laptop.

The day Mom is going to take me to the hospital, she asks, “Do you want your mother to come to see you?” I shake my head. “Are you sure?”

I say, “No. Definitely not. You are my mom. I have no connection with those people anymore. I meant it when I said that I never want to see them again. They threw me away like a worthless piece of trash, so no. Hell no. Never. You and Megan are my only family.”

She smiles sadly at my statement and nods. I suppose she thought that I didn’t mean what I said. While it’s true that I was angry when I said it, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t serious.

As they say, turnabout is fair play. If they don’t want anything to do with their daughter, then I don’t want anything to do with them. If for no other reason than to spite them, I’ll take their damn money, and create a happy life for myself. As I, Mom, and Megan have said, if they don’t want me, it’s their loss.

After she finishes her cup of coffee, we drive down to Miami and check me into the hospital. Mom stays with me until they come to take me for tests. She tells me she will come back tomorrow morning before my surgery and will be there when I wake up.

After many tests along with taking some blood, they take me back to my room, get me situated, and start an IV. Not long after that, Doctor Nowak shows up and, using imagery on his table, explains how he will perform the surgery. Basically, he will excise what is left of my penis while preserving the nerves for it, make an incision below there, and then insert my new parts through the incision. It’s far more complicated than that, but that’s the basic procedure. He also told me that, barring any complications, it will take around 12 hours for the whole surgery.

Mom shows up with Megan at about 6 in the morning. I know I won’t be awake for it, but I’m glad they’ll be here. We chat about different things until they come in to begin prepping me for surgery. They give me a shot to ‘relax me’ and it isn’t long before I’m fading in and out. So, when they wheel me down, I don’t even know it.

When the anesthetic begins to wear off, and I’ve woken up enough, I gasp loudly as the pain crashes through me in agonizing waves that leave me nauseous. I’d have curled into a ball, but they have my lower half immobilized.

The pain is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s focused in and around my groin and lower abdomen, but it radiates out from there to be all-encompassing. I don’t remember the pain ever being this bad after my accident. It’s bad enough that I wonder if I made the wrong decision. It’s beyond anything you could imagine. Thankfully, the moment the nurse notices that I’m awake, she’s immediately there, injecting pain meds into my IV. Moments later, they kick in, and I’m all floaty and giggly. I don’t know what it is they gave me, but wow, that’s some good stuff.

A few days later, they remove the restraints, and within 10 days, the worst of the pain is gone. I still hurt somewhat, but nothing like before. Even so, during the first week, there are still points when I wonder if I made the right choice. On the 11th day, Doctor Nowak comes in and pronounces me healed enough to go home.

When they give me my release, there’s a fairly extensive list of post-surgery instructions I need to follow along with strict orders to take no more than a few steps without using crutches for a week, and then I can begin to slowly increase my activity level, though I have to use a cane to help keep myself stable. Falling would not be a good idea because it could tear some of the stitches internally, and I’d likely have to go back in for surgery again. Not something I want. I hope I never have to have surgery again. I’m also to continue taking antibiotics for another 2 weeks due to the high risk of infection, and slowly taper off my hormone supplements over the next month.

Three weeks after my surgery, I wake up due to cramping badly. Worried that there is something wrong, I scream for Mom.

She comes rushing in and worriedly asks, “Is something wrong?” I explain to her what’s happening, and she smiles as she sits down beside me. “Sweetie, it’s nothing to worry about. It’s your menarche.”

My first period? As bad as this hurts, I smile. She takes me to the bathroom and explains how to use a pad, helps me place one in my panties, and tells me that once I’m fully healed, I’ll probably want to use tampons rather than pads. As contradictory as this sounds, I’m happy to be able to have periods, but they absolutely, positively suck!

Within a month of surgery, I’m up and moving around more than I’m in bed. Thank God, too, because I was going stir crazy. Try being as active as I normally am and then suddenly be confined to a bed. It’s not fun by any stretch of the imagination.

During all of this, even though Mom informed them that I was having surgery, my so-called birth parents never contacted us even once. That’s fine by me, too. I meant it when I said that I want nothing to do with them. I have my mom and sister, and that’s enough for me.

Benny has been calling me every day. He knows I had surgery for a ‘female issue,’ but not what the issue was. He’s been wanting to come over to see me, but I’ve always told him no, not until I’m healed. As you can imagine, I don’t want him to see me like this.

I’ve been checking myself out as I heal, although I haven’t really touched myself down there other than using antibiotic wipes after I use the bathroom. The more I heal, the more pleased I become with how I look. I finally feel complete, and I’m extremely happy, even if my recovery has been hard. I’m truly thankful for the staunch support of my mom and sister during all of this.

I’ve been seeing Doctor Roberts and Erina twice a week during this time as well. Finally, six weeks after my surgery, the worst of the bruising is gone, and all of the stitches have dissolved. I’m still tender down there, but Doctor Roberts pronounces me fit enough to return to school. She ends the appointment with a firm admonition that I’m not to do anything strenuous until she clears me for it.

With that pronouncement, that evening when Benny calls, I tell him that he can come to see me this weekend. Something both of us are happy about.

The next day, I wake up bright and early, shower, pick out a nice little emerald-green short-sleeve summer dress, the skirt of which only falls to mid-thigh, along with some glossy, white stockings with multi-colored small dots, and decide to wear my white 3” block-heel, calf-high slouch boots. Yep, I’m going all out for my return to school today. Eat your heart out, boys. You can look, but you can’t touch because this girl is taken!

Who would have thought that I’d be this popular with my classmates? I was only in school for a month, and yet, the moment I walk into my homeroom with my sister, everyone surrounds me asking me how I feel, if I’m all healed, and saying how glad they are that I’m back.

All questions I’m happy to answer, although I brush off any that relate to why I was in the hospital other than to say I had to have surgery. They do not need to know what it was for.

School quickly settles back into a routine for me over the next few days. Finally, Friday rolls around, and after school, I spend a couple of hours getting ready to see Benny. I, of course, want to look my best for him.

I take a hot bubble bath after showering and shaving. Afterward, I dry off, then wrap the towel around myself, and head back to my room. I pick out a sexy little lavender-colored strapless lace bra and panty set and slip them on because I have a lavender Bardot-style, off-the-shoulder crop top, and a plum-colored pleated mini skirt that I plan to wear. Add to that some sheer black stockings and my black 5” stiletto heel ankle boots. The outfit isn’t overly revealing even if it is somewhat sexy. I’m 14 and an attractive girl, so I not only want to look sexy but also feel that way as well, and I darn sure do wearing this.

After that, I style my hair into a half-up, half-down do. Then I apply full evening makeup: smokey eye shadow, heavy eyeliner, mascara, blush, and a glossy red smudge-proof lipstick. Then, I add a black velvet choker with a small pearl pendant, my charm bracelet, and my watch. Checking myself over in the mirror, I smile at myself as I turn this way and that, thinking, ‘This will do nicely.’

Benny shows up early, as in barely after 6 this evening. I step out of the house as he’s walking up the sidewalk, and he stops dead in his tracks when he sees me. His jaw just about hits the ground as he opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. ‘Good reaction,’ I tell myself. I slowly twirl for him, then ask, “Do you like it?”

He chuckles for a moment. “I’d have to be dead, and buried for a few years not to.”

I smile and tell him, “Get over here and kiss me, you sweet talker.”

He wastes little time in coming up to me, picking me up, and giving me a long, deep, delicious kiss. Afterward, I lay my head on his shoulder as he holds me, and murmur in his ear, “I missed you so much, Benny. I’m sorry that I wouldn’t let you come over until now, but I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

“I know, you told me before. I missed you too, lil’ bird.”

Leaning back in his arms, I look at him. “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why do you call me lil’ bird?”

“Cause, you’re about as big as a sparrow,” which makes me laugh.

Once I can control myself, I ask, “So, where are you taking me?”

“Dinner, a movie, then a walk in a park. Does that sound good to you?”

“That sounds perfect. Dinner and dancing would be better, but for now, I can’t.”

Mom comes out onto the porch, interrupting us. “Hi, Ben. Do me a favor. Don’t let her overexert herself tonight. She’s still not completely healed.”

“You got it, Ms. Ward.”

“Good. You two have a great time tonight, and have her back by midnight, please.”

“I will. Oh, I almost forgot. My parents are having a cookout next weekend, and they told me to invite all of you.”

I look over my shoulder at her with a hopeful expression, and she smiles. “Of course. We’d be delighted to meet your parents.”

I mouth, ‘Thank you,’ to her before turning back to Benny and saying, “Shall we?”

He nods. Much to my delight, he doesn’t set me down and instead carries me out to his truck. He opens the passenger door, sets me down on the seat, and closes the door. I like that he’s such a gentleman. He gets in and drives off.

A short way down the road, I ask him, “Benny, would you pull over for a bit? I’d like your undivided attention.”

He pulls into a parking lot and turns off the truck. He looks at me and says, “Alright, you have it.”

“I know we haven’t been dating for long, but who, or more like, what am I to you? Am I just someone you like to hang out and make out with, or am I something more?”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Do you really believe that’s all you are to me?”

“I don’t… Look, I’m just curious. If you don’t know yet, that’s fine. It’s not like if you don’t ask me to be your girlfriend right this second that I will decide to not see you anymore. If you need it, I’m willing to give you more time. It’s…”

I sigh because I really don’t want to push this. However, I enjoy our time together and want it to continue, but I also have this overwhelming urge to know where I stand with him. I know what he is to me, but I want… No, not want. I need to know how he thinks of us. Is this going somewhere, or is it just something casual?

I look at the floorboard as I say, “Look, Benny, you gave me my first kiss and took me on my first date. You are the only boy I’ve ever been interested in. I guess what I’m getting at, in my typical roundabout, rambling fashion, is that I really like you. I like being with you, and you make me feel special.”

“Ya know, that was a lot of words said that you could have summed up in 3. ‘I like you.’ Well, lil’ bird, I like you, too. I thought that was obvious. If you need me to ask you to be my girlfriend to understand that we are together, then, will you be my girlfriend?”

I look at him. “Do you mean that, or are you just trying to placate me?”

He looks at the roof of the truck as he growls a bit. “Why do girls try to make everything so complicated?” He takes a breath, blows it out, and then looks at me, reaches over, and takes my small hand in his. “Lil’ bird, I’m not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean.”

“Benny, I’m not trying to be difficult. Really, I’m not. I just… Well, I want… Oh, darn it. I’m new to this relationship thing. It’s just, I really like you, and yes, I want to be with you. I’d love to be your girlfriend, but not out of any sense of obligation. Get me?”

He stares at me for a minute. “Listen to me, and get this through your pretty little head. I drive a long way to see you. If all you were to me was someone to make out with, do you believe for one second that I would put in that much effort? Believe me, there are plenty of girls out there who I could make out with, without having to drive for an hour to see them.”

“No. It wouldn’t make any sense.”

“No, it wouldn’t. I’m an uncomplicated kind of guy. I don’t like people who play with others' feelings. My last girlfriend did that crap. I hated it, and that’s one reason why I broke up with her. I thought you understood that we are together, as boyfriend and girlfriend, without me having to ask you or say it. Although, I suppose I should have just asked you instead of assuming that you knew my intentions. Again, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“I do. More than anything, I do.”

“There. That’s settled, then.”

I look at him imploringly. “Benny, please, don’t be angry.”

He snorts and lightly squeezes my hand. “Don’t worry, I get it. You were worried about where you stood with me. Believe me, I’m not mad. So, now that we have that settled, what do you say we go eat?”

Relieved, I smile at him. “Mhmm.”

“Good, because I’m starving.”