Sophia

Last night was… something else. We didn’t have sex, not that I didn’t suggest it, but bottom dysphoria is a hell of a drug, and I could hardly imagine how awful that must feel. The two of us instead spent the night making out, a lot, for something around an hour. Within just a few minutes, Chloe had become like putty in my hands. Though it might be blasphemous to say it, Chloe, panting and pleading and staring up at me, was more beautiful to me than Artemis could ever be. When we’d finally had enough, Chloe and I fell asleep beneath a sky filled with more stars than I’d ever seen before, and as I drifted off, I decided that maybe getting stuck in the past wasn’t so bad after all.

I awoke to the sound of rhythmic thumping, and the notable absence of a Chloe in my arms. I sat up slowly, with a stretch and a yawn.

“Aren’t you normally the one who wakes me up?”

Thump!

“G’morning Chloe…”

Thump!

“Good morning, Sophia. 

Thump!

“The fire went out while we were sleeping. I couldn’t figure out how you started it, so uh… no hot breakfast today. We still have some of the blackberries from last night though! A bit of wine too!”

Thump!

I finally took stock of my surroundings. Our simple campsite was just like it had been last night, albeit without the fire. Chloe was standing about twenty feet off to my right, firing shot after shot into a dead tree, eyes shimmering softly as she used the bow’s power. She’d been at this for a while, if the sheen of sweat was anything to go by. 

“How long have you been up?”

Thump!

“Long enough…”

“Did you… get enough sleep?”

Thump!

“Yeah…”

Ok. Something was up. I stood, grabbing one of the waterskins we’d been given back in Athens and taking a long drink before walking over to Chloe.

“Maybe you should take a break.” I held the waterskin out to her. “Make sure those gorgeous back muscles of yours are ready for when we really need them.”

Thump!

She sighed…

“Do you really think I’m pretty?”

“Chloe, I meant everything I said last night. Every word.”

Thump!

“Would you still have meant it if I looked how I did before?”

“Of course I would, Chloe! Of course I would. What brought this on?”

Thump!

“I had to shave today… my body’s still the same as it always was. Underneath the hair and the nice clothes and the splash of what I can only assume are magically long lasting cosmetics, I’m still exactly the same.” Thump! “What if someday I lose all that? What if we fail and we get sent back and I have to start pretending to be… him again?”

Her bow clattered to the ground, her eyes became human again as tears began to flood them, and she dropped to her knees on the forest floor. I dropped down with her, wrapping her up in my arms as I did.

“You won’t”

“You-”

“You won’t. I’ll tell you as many times as it takes, you won’t ever have to pretend again. We won’t lose. We won’t fail, but even if we do, you won’t have to go back to that. Just cuz a god won’t give you a shortcut doesn’t mean you’re shit outta luck. Plenty of trans girls have dealt with the exact same shit you have without a god in their corner, but you don’t just have a goddess cheering for you, you got me backin’ you up too! Hormones? Surgery? Laser? You want ‘em, you’ll get ‘em. I promise you that.”

She really had given up, hadn’t she? She’d convinced herself that her options were to either get transformed by Artemis herself or just go on living as someone she’s not, no middle ground. Well not anymore! Not if I could help it! We’d do our best to succeed here, and if we failed, then we’d make the most of things. She’d never go back to being Chris, not to me, and, if I had any say in things, not to herself, either.

As I continued to murmur my affection to her and run my hands up and down her shaking back, her arms snaked around mine, pulling me in close. I could feel her breath on my neck as she whispered.

“Thank you.”

Chloe

Eventually, we left. I don’t know how long I stayed like that, bundled up in Sophia’s arms, but eventually we got up and got moving. She kept saying that we’d pull this off, that I’d be ok, and that I’d always be Chloe to her, but even though I really, truly wanted to believe her, the doubts just kept creeping in whenever I let my guard down. There was just so much we didn’t know, simply trusting that things would work out was a nigh herculean effort. After hours of quiet hiking, the sound of waves signaled our arrival to Brauron.

Sophia took my hand the same way she had in Athens, and I gave her a tense nod. Surrounding myself with strangers again wasn’t exactly what I’d call appealing, but at least I could trust Sophie to take care of me. I gave her hand an anxious squeeze, and she squeezed back in kind.

“It’ll be ok. Remember, two taps and we’re gone.”

Brauron itself was much smaller than the City of Athens, but no less impressive. The complex surrounding the temple was supported by large stone columns, arranged in an Π shape around the temple itself. A river stood between us and the temple, but a sturdy stone bridge stretched across it. There was a girl, probably around nine or ten years old, dangling her feet off its edge. When she saw us approaching, she leapt to her feet and scampered into the temple complex.

Sipriotes

This temple was lovely, if a bit noisy at times. I was about halfway through my second day staying here, and I’d been enjoying myself thoroughly. The temple itself was, by and large, devoted to the worship of Artemis, but it also served a secondary, more unusual purpose. Every year, a small group of young girls from (typically) wealthy Athenian families at around the age of five would be brought to the temple, where they would be cared for and watched after by the priestesses until around the age of 10 or 11. During this time, and especially as they got older, the girls were encouraged to be rowdy and wild, the last chance they’d have to do so before being relegated once again to the stricter, gendered hierarchies of the outside world. The older girls were affectionately referred to as Arktoi, translating roughly to she-bears for those unfamiliar with ancient Greek.

Upon my arrival, I introduced myself to the priestesses honestly. Revealing to them exactly who and what I was as well as the reasons for my arrival. They took it… well, all things considered, and agreed to host me while I awaited my mortal charges. I did, however, ask them not to reveal my nature to the children or townsfolk. I trust the servants of my goddess, but children have loose tongues, and mortals often make foolish decisions when they realize there’s divinity in their midst.

To the children, I was Iodora, a wandering servant of Artemis who had come to see the famed temple in Brauron, and who, now that I had arrived, decided to help out at the temple while I awaited two fellow wanderers. I’d only just finished preparing lunch for the younger children and was about to guide them through their mealtime rituals when suddenly, one of the arktoi burst in, panting.

“Miss Iodora! The two ladies, the ones you said you were waiting for… they’re here!”

A surprised laugh escaped my lips.

“Already? Huh… I would’ve thought Aipserokeleuthos would’ve delayed them longer.”

“Wha..?”

Aipserokeleuthos was the name of the hind that Artemis tasked with waylaying Chloe and Sophia. She was named after an aspect of Boreas, one of the four winds, and she absolutely abhorred any attempt to shorten her name. Not that nobody had tried, they just usually stopped after she lit their hair on fire, stamped on their favorite chiton, or started committing acts of petty thievery against them in retaliation. I absolutely loved that deer.

“Ah, it’s nothing you need to worry about. They’re just earlier than anticipated. Why’d you run in here to tell me anyways? We were right about to start on lunch.”

“Oh, for real? I was gettin’ hungry too!” She walked over to my neatly arrayed food, grabbed a sizable chunk of bread, and took a bite. “Anyways, I guess I just got excited. You tell really good stories, Iodora, and I figured they prolly do too. Plus, you seemed really anxious for them to get here, I thought you’d wanna know!”

Ignoring the fact that she was talking with her mouth full, she’d started eating without offering any respect to the gods. I pinched my nose, only an arktoi…

“Thanks… I’m glad to know they’re here safe. I have a feeling their journey has been a bit less forgiving than mine has. Now would you mind sharing a bit of that bread with Zeus before you get us all blasted to bits with lightning?”

An exaggeration, but it did the trick.

“Oh shoot! Sorry! Uh… for Zeus! And, um, also Artemis!”

She ripped off about half of her bread before chucking it towards the lit brazier in the center of the room. She missed, but one of the younger girls quickly snatched the bread off the floor, wiped it off, and dropped it in the fire.

“Thank you Zoe.” I smiled at the girl. “Now let’s make our offerings properly, then I’ll go meet our new guests.”

ashlynflagg

The dysphoria and imposter syndrome can be hard to shake.

Time for yet another Ancient Greek fun fact of the day: Brauron is a real place, and so is the temple to Artemis that it hosted. The location is now known as Vravrona, but you can still visit it to this day! The Arktoi were quite real as well. Time spent as an arktoi was essentially a right of passage for the young girls of Brauron and the wealthier girls from Athens, during such a time, wildness was expected and appreciated, and many rituals were performed during which the arktoi themselves would don bear masks.