Ch: 19 A Hole In The Ground

The Bathers table, now marked with a big chalk X, was guarded by a youngling. Mirabelle was only ten, but she chased a small adventuring band away from their table with admirable ferocity. 

 

Six men and women in the colors of War backed away grinning as she brandished a wooden spoon. “Scat, this is sergeant Becky’s table. There’s plenty of room over with the OLD people!”

 

The whoop of agreement from the five other tables of preteens, along with a very strong chorus from the nearby older kids, pushed the point home. A few beat their toy drums or played discordant riffs on their instruments, defying the long standing ‘no toys at the table’ rule.

 

Otho grinned from the nearby ‘Geezer’s section’ enjoying the antics of his beloved children. Then he began to grow uneasy, his well mannered and orderly orphans were being cheerfully disrespectful to their elders… that was normal. To behave so with strangers from out of town, that was new. Perhaps it was good that the Bathers were going out for a while.

 

At the Bathers table things were introspective. “...A-aaand, That’s why I don’t talk about it.” Gary said, pulling out his mandolin and flicking his way into ‘The Orange Blossom Special’ as his friends sat thinking. 

 

When the younglings started bringing platters to their moping elders’ table, Gary gave them a broad wink in thanks and turned up the volume. 

 

He shifted into ‘A Boy Named Sue’, the older teens appreciated that one, while the little ones just liked bouncing on their butts. He wound down the music when the others started to smile at his antics and eat.

 

They shared another fine feast, the whole room cheered for Ivy’s second in the kitchen, she had taken over most of the day to day since Ivy began her adventuring career. Charlotte was a tall brunette with gray eyes and a quick smile. 

 

She, like Dannyl, looked forward to serving War on the front lines. She used a spear, as most orphans did, when dealing with nasty things, reach was a blessing.

 

Charlotte and her crew of four older teens Gary had barely met, took well deserved accolades, the meals both days had been exceptional even without Dannyl and Ivy at the helm. They received their metaphorical laurels with much posturing and strutting. It was a huge change from the disconsolate teens dishing up food and schlepping platters just a few minutes before. 

As the evening wore down Otho stood and addressed the gathered orphans. “As you all know, Liam, Ivy, Dannyl and sergeant Becky will be taking leave of us for a while. The acolytes of Joy will assist with administration and any other matters you need. Please give them the courtesy they are due my children.” He waved dismissively, shooing the younglings off to bed. “Off you go!” 

 

The Bathers parted with exhausted hugs for friends new and old. Gary and the girls retired for what promised to be a harrowing and deeply odd night.

Gary took a moment to make sure his storage Pockets! were empty of weapons, random magical trinkets and oddities, stashing all his instruments and experiments throughout the house. When he climbed the stairs, Shai and Becky had all but taken over. 

 

His comfortable, if spartan living quarters had been vastly upgraded by Shai. Her arrival brought colors, art, flowers and textiles, she gave the room the warmth and a human scale it lacked before her intervention. That was all gone…

 

The walls were invisible behind ferns and vines, lush moss and rounded river stones covered the floor. Insead of a ceiling, an arching mural of a springtime sky, complete with fluffy clouds was drawn in fearsome detail.

 

Now, his king sized bed, conjured on a whim that first night and kept ever since, was gone. In its place was a fantastic confection of gauze and lace, a vast canopy bed draped in colorful silks and filmy stuff. It almost floated, awash in ruffles and frills. They even had illusory fireflies sparkling throughout the room, it was damn magical. 

 

So was the misty, glowing sign that read:

 

The Realm Of TawnyBeckShaIvy

No Boys Allowed. 

“The dog bed is a nice touch… that didn’t hurt my feelings at all. The water bowl was a bit much.” He complained, settling into the surprisingly comfy pet bed.

 

“Out! That’s for Otho, he’s the only boy allowed!” Becky shrilled in mock distress, clutching a filmy drape to cover herself. 

 

“You are wearing clothes Becky. And we bathed together three hours ago…” The combined forces of that realm repulsed the barbarian invader, banishing him down below.

 

Once the boy was gone, Becky went back to jumping on the ridiculous bed, while Shai and Ivy consulted with Tawny. The sorcerers were up to… whatever it was they did. She never had time or talent for ritual magic, and with no divine contract, that was that. 

 

‘I’m… getting a Contract? Spending the night outside the orphanage, outside the world? Fifteen years old?’ Her mind was a mad swirl of emotions. Even her long practiced meditation exercises were useless under this level of nerves. Jumping on the bed was the only answer, duhh.

 

After a few minutes, the conclave of older women broke up,  and they turned on her as one. Ivy spoke up, breaking the tension.

 

“I checked this ring over and it should not be able to harm you, it seems like it would be way more dangerous to Gary.” She shuddered softly. “I wouldn’t want a permanent doorway into my soul that just anyone could pick up and use.”

 

“I hae been to the place you go many times, tis odd and exciting. Dinnae think it be a safe place, tis only safe fer Gary an meself.” Shai skewered her with a piercing eye. “There be horrors just outside the wall, dinnae invite anything in, nor speak wi aught save those you seek.” 

 

Tawny joined the fray, hugging the smaller woman close. “Ivy and I will be observing you closely, we will wake you if need be. Shai will be with you and I suppose, Gary will be there.” That last was an afterthought, handled with an eye roll and feeble shrug that sent the women giggling.

 

“Really, how am I supposed to sleep? I’m wound up tighter than a harp string. Wish I still had some of that fae dust, that would put me to sleep.” She looked hopefully at Tawny.

 

“What know ye o fae dust girl? Who be telling ye o these things? It were nae Gary, he does know I would…” Shai was red faced and looking slightly guilty around the outrage.

 

“I prescribed it to her Shai, for female reasons. Not all of us are blessed with your… doughty constitution.” Tawny flinched slightly as the bigger woman reached out to hug her. It was more like being mauled by an aggressive bear to her mind. ‘How does tiny Becky survive hugging her?’ Tawny wondered, while recovering from Shai’s affections.

 

“You could not use it in any case, you need to dream, that is what triggers your fine new jewelry.” Gary was no silversmith, the band looked just like his stink rings. Just plain silver, etched with runes so tiny they appeared to be a matte surface of miniscule scratches.

 

“To think a man offered me a ring…” Becky swooned mockingly, while clearly eying Shai’s naked finger.

 

“Fie, ye did half convince me he had been perplexed intae marrying Sophia, ye hae no wisdom to share in this.” She scoffed, pretending fury at her sister.

 

Tawny sprawled onto the bedding in an uncharacteristic show of informality and whimsy. “Sometimes I wonder if I should not have tried for Gary…” She teased. “Jennah would have tied herself in knots over that.”

 

Ivy sat up from where she was rough housing with Otho the dog. “I can pretend to break up with Tallum and you can make like you picked him up on the rebound…” She grinned evilly. “Think of the gossip grannies knitting those strands together.”

 

“Ivy! That’s just evil and horrible for… Just all the reasons.” Becky scolded. “Gossip is a subtle dance, not a brawl in a burning tavern.” Only Becky noticed the surge of white hot fury boiling in Shai at the moment. She patted her sister lovingly. “We will come up with something terrible on our outing” She whispered.

 

“As for sleeping, I shall be attending to both of you, while Ivy and I take shifts watching over you.” Tawny’s audience were already changed and in bed, cuddling together with long familiarity.

 

“Attending to us?” Becky asked, while Tawny drew her long slender wand from her robes. “What does tha-…” With a quick flick of the wrist and a short liquid chant, both women were out cold.

 

“Ahh, a little peace and quiet.” Tawny said just a little smugly.

 

“...t mean?” Becky asked, lying on a completely different bed in an unfamiliar room. Shai appeared a breath later, looking miffed.

 

“That were high handed o her, aye after she did all but say she could hae taken what do clearly be mine.” Shai fumed. “Aye, mayhap she could hae tumbled him…” 

 

At that thought her possessive rage flared dangerously. “Aye? Ye could steal mine harvest ere t’were ripe? Tawny would nae hae heard ‘When the Doves do Cry’...” 

 

She was pacing and agitated, flushing red, then sheeting white in turns. “That were nae a thing fit tae speak wi a friend Becky, wake me that I might rattle her about a mite.”

 

Becky talked the larger woman down from physical battery to something more feminine. 

 

“I will pretend to make a play for Dannyl, Dannyl will get upset and talk to Liam, He tells Tawny…” 

 

Shai was already lost in this twisting plot. 

 

“When Tawny comes to see me about Dannyl being gay, I tell her I’m secretly in love with Liam.” She gasped. 

 

“Then she comes to talk to you, because you pretended that what she said slipped right by and did not hurt your feelings, then boom, close the trap. Total victory.”

 

“Too sharp by half, tis as Gary said, ye would cut that which ye do love.” She shook her head sadly. 

 

“So I guess Gary snitched…” Becky grumbled, looking aggrieved.

 

“Tae offer murder o a member o preisthood at a feast table… tis dark doings my love.” She pulled the small girl off her feet into a bone crushing hug. “Fury and violence do draw the gaze o the unseelie fae, I would not see ye bound in darkness.”

 

“I don’t believe in fairy tales Shai, or in happy endings without the need to wash the blood off my hands.”

 

“Settle yer mind girl, we go to see odd entities, tae bargain fer power. That do take clear thinking.” Shai cautioned, mastering her own emotions with a struggle and a little breathing exercise.

 

Down in the garden, the women emerged looking fresh and calm. In truth Becky looked excited, terrified and thrilled all at once. Her first glimpse of Thirp and his kin sent her scampering up in obvious fascination. 

 

“Hi! I’m Becky. Sergeant Becky, Orphan and Adventurer! Shai says you can talk… is that a harp?” The furry spider trotted in place for a moment and began bobbing up and down on his knees in arachnid mirth.

 

“Oh yes! Marvelous! I am Thirp, priest of Aclintherios, spinner of fates. You are charming, sergeant Becky! Are you the candidate Gary promised?”

 

“She do be that, and more. We do suspect she be from the same world as Gary, though transported as a babe, all unknowing. Kin ye confirm this wi yer arts?” Shai said, approaching closer than she had ever been able to before.

 

“I sense that this is the case, though a few simple tests…” Thirp spun a few objects in his silk and began. 

He examined her aura through a circular weave of threads finer than hair. 

He had her step through a thin membrane of silk spun between two trees. 

Finally it was a thick rope of silk twisted into a plait and worn on top of her head while she responded to rapid fire questions about her day.

 

“Indeed you are from the same place, the resonance is uncanny. Worlds as starved of magic as Gary’s are odd places. They operate on rules that make no sense in the rest of the universe. They are the places where gods cannot peer, and even outsiders of tremendous power have almost no influence.”

 

“Your current world by contrast is an oddity in its own right.” Thirp sang. “My investigations have revealed some surprising details. Shall we amuse ourselves while we await the others? I found something that might interest you both as much as it fascinates me…”

The ruling class overruled his objections and relegated him to a room downstairs. Tallum and Liam were waiting there, in a barracks that was very utilitarian.

 

It was a low, long room with a line of low, narrow cots. They looked aggressively spartan, the mattresses were little more than straw ticks and the blankets would serve for mopping up small spills or light dusting. Rather they would, were they not made of the scratchiest and least absorbent wool he had ever touched. 

 

“The accommodations have become less… well, less, since last time. Is everything Ok, Gary?” Liam asked. 

 

“Yeah, go look upstairs where the girls are hanging out and you’ll get it. They have the door open to show it off, I’ll fix this up.” 

 

When they came back down, grumbling about the unfairness of it all, Gary had put things to rights. Four futons filled the room. A low table in the middle surrounded by cushions and paper lanterns giving off a warm glow provided the only other furniture. All his personal instruments hung on the walls.

 

Gary was standing in the middle near the table, looking inordinately proud of himself. The boys were not overly impressed, until they tried his futons. “Oh my, that’s comfy!” Tallum exclaimed.

 

Once everyone was settled he asked; “Did Shai tell you guys to stay over in case things get weird?”

 

“Yup.” Tallum answered.

 

“I was wondering what she meant by, ‘things get weird’ what should we expect?” Dannyl asked.

 

“Last time, Gary ran off naked into the wilds chanting some hideous nonsense. It took half the night to track him down, hiding in a cave drooling like an animal.” Liam replied.

 

“I was tripping on poison monster mushrooms, you can’t judge me for that! Shai ran off into the woods too, you said she was naked too! She’s normal!”

 

“She was chasing you dummy, we were all naked, it was the middle of the night.” Liam sighed.

 

“Exactly, we were all naked running through the wilds, someone may or may not have been chanting something. All perfectly normal.” He nodded and settled in. “Thank you for clearing that up Liam.”

 

“What we are up to tonight, is experimental magic. If it works we can really start to make changes.” Gary said. “If I try and get up, ask me to sing and play something. Don’t let me out until I prove I’m me, or the girls come to get us.”

 

He looked to Tallum and Liam directly. “Don’t be afraid to get rough or hurt my feelings, we are playing for high stakes.” He turned to Dannyl. “You too, if you think you might need to kick my ass, do it.”

 

He settled in for the night, all his friends, family and his lover in his home. It was a messy, crowded, chaotic ball of nervous energy with four walls and a roof. It was perfect.

 

He drifted away, careless of the future, as long as these souls were attached to his.

It was a little disorienting to wake in a different room than he usually did, but it was all his own soul. He could still feel the thrumming energy and life filling his home, even here.

He found the girls out in the garden chatting with Thirp while watching his memories of visiting the Monterey aquarium. There was a whole setup, a big screen to project onto, a wide plush sofa and a nice tree trunk for Thirp to cling to.

 

They had the decency to look embarrassed, at least. “Go on, watching my own memories is kinda weird, you kids have fun though.” He scanned the garden looking for his… deity? “Where’s the entity hiding?”

 

Thirp sang his answer in shimmering silken tones. “They are meeting with my lord Aclintherios at the front door. They find it less distracting.” 

 

The velvet rope duo were still keeping things tight at the garden gate. The crowd was much reduced, but the occasional outsider rolled up hoping to get lucky anyway. 

 

At the moment a luminous white preying mantis was trying to bribe her way in with the headless corpse of… it was probably best not to know. “Just look the other way, I scoot on through into your plane, have a little vacay and boop, I’m back out in a few centuries. What’s the harm?” 

 

She seemed rather charming, Thirp had been emphatic in explaining that not all outsiders were inimical to mortal life. Most of the outsiders were upsetting to look at in one way or another, but many seemed to be just people. Weird people, curious about the new guy in the neighborhood, but people none the less. Except those foggy mask guys, they suck.

 

Velvet rope Notgary was having a nice chat with her so he moseyed over while the others finished their visit to his family trip. “Maybe when we get things settled down, you can negotiate with the rest of me, but I can’t let you in right now.” He spotted Gary and nodded. “Here comes the boss, he’s got a lot on his plate so be cool Ok?”

 

“Velvet! Hows it going? Shai-lite! Looking good in the business wear.” He grinned at the four foot tall exotic alien insect and winked. “Who’s our visitor?” He asked… himself.

 

“Gary Wade, this is Gritsck, she’s from a little way down the void. Gritsck, this is the rest of me.” He made smooth introductions at least. “Gritsck is a demigoddess of the hunt, she wants to go on safari in our world.”

 

“Whoa there turbo, we already have an outsider problem, let us evict our squatters and vagrants before we start trying to rent out rooms.” He shuddered. “Those assholes with the meat ziggurats keep showing up, creepy shits.”

 

She had snowy white tufts of fluffy fur around her neck and thorax. Opalescent white compound eyes flickering with all the colors of the rainbow gave her face a softer look than one would expect from an insect predator. Her body of pearly white chitin gleamed wonderfully in the almost light of this weird place.

 

“That is what brings me, I hunt them, to extinction on my world, and on yours if you allow.” She spoke softly, in stuttering clicks and squeaks of her mandibles. “They are now extinct on my world. Just under three centuries ago…” She paused, pivoted her head back and forth a few times and looked confused.

 

“Time differential, nonlocal influence you are having on me.” She chittered. “Interference.” She said firmly, before bowing gracefully and withdrawing into the void beyond his light.

 

“Well that got weird.” Velvet said. “She was making perfect sense before, you roll up and here goes the crazy.”

 

“I shouldn't have to say it… no tourists. Nobody gets in.” Gary deadpanned. “I’ll talk to her if she comes back, or maybe Shai should.” Shai-lite gave a cheerful thumbs up… that was very Gary of her.

 

Thirp and the girls were finishing their walk down somebody else’s memory lane. Gary strolled over as it wound down squeezed into the sofa beside Shai. “Thirp, buddy, I just had a convo with a lady mantis down at the garden gate, you know her?”

 

“Her kind are familiar to me, they are keen travelers between realms, yours are among the few barred to them.” He sang. “They are widely respected in the region.”

 

“Should I consider her request for entry? She says she wants to hunt those mask assholes.” He asked. “If those guys are in the world that’s not great I assume.”

 

“I believe you are right to delay until more is known, let us see how tonight unfolds.” The spider’s harp sang. “Lady Gritsck is known to my lord, he may have some advice. That consultation must await my lord’s availability, I will ask as soon as I may.”

 

“Ladies, did you enjoy your trip? Any questions about what you saw?” He asked, while lounging aggressively. His sprawling body language signaling both his discomfort and effort to disguise it.  

 

“Do it bother ye that we hae been rummaging in yer things?” Shai asked, drawing herself halfway into his lap.

 

“What? No, these are all things I would show you all if I could… well maybe not Tallum, he might get some weird ideas that are best left on the other side.” He grinned. “How did you solve the language problem Becky? Did Shai translate for you?”

 

They both looked at him blankly. “What language problem?” Beky asked, bewildered and slightly amused.

 

Gary pawed at his face comically and hugged Shai closer. “Lover, my language gift rubbed off on you a little, I was going to play some pranks with it but… maybe you haven’t noticed yet.” He said in portuguese. “Listen to the sounds I’m making, and feel what your mouth does when you answer.”

 

“Becky,” He grinned. “Since we seem to be from the same place, you probably have a language gift too. You probably never realized it because everyone speaks the same language here… that’s one of the weirdest things for me.”

 

Shai was busy feeling her lips and forming unspoken insults to hurl at Gary. Just to feel the odd sensation of thinking one word and saying another. 

“Oh look, our long awaited guest… I don't know how this is going to shake down, trust each other. Stay loose and let's see where this goes.” Gary said quietly.

 

The tattered old barn owl swooped in and landed on Gary's shoulder without fanfare. “Is this my long awaited candidate?” 

 

The creature's voice was no longer identifiable with any fixed gender, fluctuating up and down the scales. “She seems suitable. Shall we begin?”

 

“Oh, we shall begin, buddy we are just getting started. My sister here, sergeant Becky, she may Contract with you. If she wishes, after we hash some things out.” Gary said firmly.

 

“We are not going to get anywhere if you keep fighting me Gary. My worship will not be onerous, just a bit of nonsense here and there.” It ruffled its feathers, sending misty shreds of nothing fluttering briefly before they vanished. “You know we will have great fun together, your link to Joy is a good influence on me I think.”

 

Gary grinned. “You think I’m fighting you? Dude, you are fighting you. I’m just caught in the brawl.” He turned to a very nervous looking spider and called out. “Hey, Thirp, how many gods do your people have?”

 

“Forty two of note and hundreds of demigods, though we have eight prime deities.” He sang out, now adding confused to his existing stockpiles of nervous.

 

“Do you have a god of secrets, Thirp?” He asked, eyeing the owl, now perching in a nearby tree.

 

“We do, She is a minor goddess, subordinate to knowledge, and web mate of the god of tricksters. Would you like to learn her catechism?” He sang, warming to his topic.

 

“I will definitely take you up on that Thirp, she sounds fun.” He turned to the very agitated owl, glaring at him from a limb. “You are going to be a lot of fun too, once you realize why we are so compatible.” Gary smiled at the angry raptor and waited.

 

After a too long moment, the bird replied. “I told you why we are compatible. You are a sneak and a petty criminal, in your old world and here. That is why we are compatible, please stop this foolishness, you are risking everything.”

 

“I don’t think I’m risking anything. We both know you can’t lie here, we both know that you will know if I lie.” He stepped closer to the bird, not aggressively but with compassion. 

 

“So when I say that in all honesty I am the absolute worst person at being secretive, you know it’s true. I am absolutely incompatible with keeping secrets, I don't like having them, sharing them or hiding them.” 

 

He reached out a wrist and took the bird on his arm. “We are compatible, not because of some grand secret, but because we are both broken.” He settled the bird on his shoulder. “What’s your name, friend? The other gods have names, what's yours?”

 

The bird vanished from his shoulder in a huge, dusty puff of something that wasn’t. A moment later they emerged from the cloud in their more imposing humanoid form. “Gary, I have accepted much disrespect from you, but you are treading dangerously close too-...”

 

Gary stepped right up and into his deity, sweeping the misty form into a highly awkward hug. “What are you doing?” The being said, while standing rigid and desperately confused.

 

“I’m hugging a friend who is hurt and lost. Shai! Wanna get in here? You too Becks!” Hesitantly the girls came over and joined his love fest. He looked over a misty shoulder and winked at Thirp, who clacked his mandibles against his fangs in distress and hopped over to join in. 

 

Thirp skittered into the mix and snuggled his warm, fury body between Gary and Becky. “What are you all doing? This is highly inappropriate…” The shrouded figure asked, losing some of their imposing dignity.

 

Gary grabbed the cowled head gently and pulled the faceless being into his shoulder. “Shut up and hug it out dude.” After a few moments, the figure began to sag into their combined arms, losing their unnatural rigidity. “That’s better, now everyone, inside for tea and a bath. Sorry for the false advertising Becky. We may not get you contracted tonight, but you deserve a whole god, not a wreck like my buddy Knowledge here…”

 

Shai stopped, startled and upset. “Gary, there be no god named such. There be no god Knowledge, tis foriegn tae even suggest that.” She seemed rather upset. “How come ye tae this mad conclusion?”

 

Gary took her hand and began leading the whole group inside the house. “I think Thirp noticed right away but was too polite to say anything, right buddy?” He turned to his furry friend with a smile. “You are just as confused by the cosmology of this world as I am.”

 

“It would be highly inappropriate for me to interfere in your world’s…” Gary hushed the spider with a glare. “Yes, I suspected that we were interacting with a less than complete entity.” The chastened spider said.

 

“So, everybody inside!” Gary sang out, pushing his deity to the back door.”

 

The spider hopped into the house, swiveling his head in amazing ways as he scoped out the interior for the first time. “Ah, you have a lovely home my friends, I had wondered what humans preferred in a dwelling, I shall write a paper on this when I am reincarnated by my lord!”

 

“Ghost spider?” Becky whispered in Gary’s ear softly. 

 

“Yeah, his god made him the official emissary to our world, my soul is the embassy, our hooded friend is the representative of the gods of our world. Let’s see what happens, ok kiddo?” Gary whispered back, while winking at Thirp. “Also Thirp has amazing hearing and has been listening to all of this. Don’t be shy though, he’s cool.”

 

“Why thank you Gary, Journeyman Shai, thank you for allowing me into your home. I am honored by your welcome.” Thirp sang, his silken harp filling the room with warm overtones and the comfy feeling of a powerful being at ease. 

 

“It is traditional among my people, to present a cocooned meal to the webmistress of the home when visiting…” He skittered up the wall to bob on the ceiling. “I think you would prefer a gift less… culturally specific.”

 

He slung his harp and began to wave his four rearmost limbs while clinging to the ceiling with his front pairs. He spun a delicate knot of threads, each one placed just so and wound in delicate and dancelike movements. 

 

Shortly, a chandelier of silk, festooned with oblate cocoons dangled from the ceiling, glowing with a pearly light and whispering soft melodies in the gentle breezes drifting through the home. 

 

As Thirp continued, a twining vine of jasmine trailed along his threads, perfuming the house with a warm scent that whispered of early summer days and cool evenings.

 

The result was breathtaking, a natural and elegant hanging garden in miniature, sending warm light and pleasant scents throughout the home.

 

Shai clapped excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Master Thirp, tis lovely, sure’n ye are a dab hand at crafts!” Her fear was now completely forgotten, lost in the wonder of that small gift. 

 

“Wow, can I Contract with your god Thirp? You seem like you have it all together. Poor Gary spends more time soaking in his pool trying to recover than anything else.” Becky chattered, heedless of the cloaked figure being pulled into the home by Gary.

 

“It is as I told you fool, I only exist in places that are between and almost, I cannot cross your threshold and enter your home properly, anymore than you can force a god into doing that which is outside their nature.” The hood snorted in an undignified manner. “Even attempting this folly is endangering our contract, tenuous as it is…”

 

“Oh, yes this is lovely, I sense Shai at work in the decor…” Thirp was saying as Gary dragged his deity through the door. 

 

All eyes turned as the whole house and garden shuddered faintly, timbers creaked and groaned while the lights flickered slightly… except Thirp’s, that thing was awesome.

 

Gary turned to the side and covered his mouth for a thunderous belch. “Sorry, there’s a lot going on inside me right now, gang.” Shai was looking a little peaky too. “We got this lover, you and me all the way Shai.” Gary said with a wide smile.

 

Shai conjured a tea service onto a low table by the fireplace and invited her guests to sit with an elegant gesture of welcome. “Friends, be welcome and sit, mine mate has some foolishness in mind. Tis best we let him hae his way fer now, he do be moon touched ye do understand.”

 

Gary strolled back and forth while his audience got settled.

“I do have some foolishness planned, and then we are going to all have a heart to whatever some of us have instead of hearts.” He grinned, foolishly and half mad as always. 

 

“First, thank you all for being here, Becky, this is all going to make a lot more sense in a few minutes so stay with me, Shai, you know where I am headed I think.” 

 

He turned to Thirp. “We need you to help with some outside perspective and we will welcome any wisdom you wish to share, but this might get in the weeds a little, sorry buddy.”

 

Gary turned to his sullen and grumpy looking deity. “You, you need to listen, really listen to what your friends are going to tell you right now, we need you to get in the game buddy.”

 

“My new buddy Gritsck, sealed the deal. I felt her power from outside the gate, it felt like I could let her in. That I could help her pass through into our world, but she would be the absolute limit.” 

 

Thirp nodded, silently agreeing with his assessment. “Shai and I also felt just a touch… a hint of Joy’s attention in the waking world. That shook us to our foundations with a glance.” He looked at his deity. “You my friend are not in their league, not even close.”

 

The voice from the hood was still neither male nor female, but it dripped with sarcasm and hurt feelings. “Why thank you for your evaluation. Are we done now?”

 

“Not even close friend, why don’t you tell my sister Becky exactly where we are right now, and what those lovely bubbles in the sky are… you saw those right Becks?” She nodded and looked at the figure expectantly.

 

With a heavy sigh that evoked melting snow falling from a barren winter branch in a silent forest, they answered. “We are inside Gary’s soul, those bubbles are representations of his various elements.” With an undignified snort he finished. “The disarray and chaos in the local area are a result of Gary being a broken mess.”

 

“Exactly.” Gary replied. “Thank you for that honest assessment. Thirp, buddy, just exactly how many gods should I be able to squeeze into my little soul home here? Rough number please, just a guess.”

 

“Well… that number would be a rough estimate…” Thirp prevaricated. “There are many factors, your personal situation is…” 

 

Gary shot him a stern look. “We speak the truth here brother” He warned.

 

“The best  I can estimate would be, about zero point zero zero eight, intact gods.” The erudite spider mumbled.

 

“So, less than one percent of a god should be able to squeeze in here.” Gary said in even and clear tones before turning to his deity. “I’m fine with who you are, we are going to be a great team. Becky though, she needs a whole god.”

 

“Gary, shut up.” Becky said. Swatting him on the rump towards Shai. “I decide what Becky needs now, Gary clams up and listens for a minute.” She turned to the entity and smirked. “He’s got a point though, you don’t really sell me on this whole, make a permanent Contract with an entity of unmeasurable power, thing. Make your pitch if I buy it, maybe we can deal…”

 

“I am supposed to convince you to accept me? That is not how the patron, supplicant dynamic works.” They said, a little haughtily.

 

“Hey, Gary, if I wanted a Contract harp, how long would you take to make it for me?” She asked, eyeing her two siblings, who were getting rather cozy on the couch.

 

“Mmm, two weeks? Maybe less if Shai helps. With the whole crew working, four days and some time for it to mature… one week.” He  replied. “Though if you have a specific enchantment in mind, that might make it take a bit longer.”

 

“That’s how long you have, if you can sell me on a Contract with you before Gary makes me one, great. Otherwise, you need a new approach.” She told the creature. “Gary likes you and thinks you can help me, Shai says he’s right, so I’m gonna give you a chance. Don’t try to strong-arm me, you won't win that.”

 

“This is highly irregular and extremely disrespectful, you walk a fine line Gary!” They announced, in strident tones.

 

“I do walk a fine line, dancing on the edge between blasphemy and heresy. That’s why you need me, a disobedient follower like me is going to ruin the other god’s plans.” He grinned in that mad way. “They would leave you the broken mess you are right now, I want you to get your back up off the wall and dance.”

 

“Gods do not dance to the whims of mortals, boy.” They pronounced, filling the home with portent and crackling power. “My will is paramount, your Contract is mine to hold and your soul belongs to me-...” The dire proclamation was abruptly cut off by Gary’s hand closing on the entity's shoulder in a firm, commanding grip.

 

“That’s it, into the bath, we can’t make progress like this. Everybody into the bath, you too Thirp.” He took his deity by the arm and pulled them into the bath. 

 

“You keep telling us what you are, so far you have been dead wrong at every turn. Let’s get to the bottom of it, step by step. First  you said you could not come inside, but here you are. Any explanation that fits your theory?”

 

“No, this should be impossible.” They said sullenly, still trying to resist Gary's will.

 

“So, if you were the god of secrets, could I drag you into the bath and throw you in?” He asked, while dragging the entity to the edge of the bath.

 

“Gary…” Thirp warned. “You are taking risks with unknown dangers right now.”

 

“Nope, I’m taking a bath with my friends and my mate. That never hurt anyone.” He stood at the edge of the bath, holding his deity close without strain or effort. 

 

“You guys think the house is my soul, expressed in a tangible form. You think I’m the garden and the home that stands so proudly.” He looked to Shai, smiling sweetly. “Shai knows, this is me right here. I’m the basin, not even the spring, just a hole that the water fills.” 

 

He stepped down into the pool with the creature, gesturing for his friends to join. “This is all I will ever be, just a simple hole in the ground. It’s what we put in that makes the magic.”

 

As he spoke the cowled robe began to dissolve, carried away by the chaotic essence of the void.

 

Thirp was the last one in, tentatively dipping a forelimb in, before clambering down. “Oh my, that is extraordinary!” He sang, holding his harp clear of the water.

 

“Thirp is a Bather now, are you ready to join the club?” Gary asked the rapidly diminishing cloak. 

 

He received a barely perceptible nod in reply. Without further ado, both figures slipped beneath the surface together.