Ch: 24 A Bungled Burglary

Gary usually woke like a switch had been flipped from off to on. He had learned to be a light sleeper his first week in a group home. Grogginess and blurred eyes were unusual, but some things a man just knew. 

 

He reached out to playfully fondle the plump, pink nippled breasts bouncing in front of his face, with a soft giggle of glee.

 

“Gary is awake I think… at least it just got weird over here.” Tallum called out, very loud and very close. 

Too close, and Shai’s boobs were rock hard… and hairy. 

 

Dawning horror and embarrassment flooded his body with things it was not ready for… and darkness claimed him again.

 

“…weak as a kitten, but he was all over me, I would like to apologize on behalf of all men, for what he must put you through Shai.” Tallum was rumbling like a freight wagon over cobblestones, the boy was as subtle as a landslide.

“A gentleman should never kiss and tell Tallumz.” Gary gasped softly, using Ivy’s seldom heard, secret pet name for the giant. “That was a tender moment between us, now it’s just tawdry gossip.” He complained in a voice like a rusty gate.

 

“My insides hurt.” He announced while passing out again.

 

When he woke next, Dannyl was looming over him where he floated. Slowly he reached out and began groping Dannyl’s chest. “I’m establishing a precedent, so when a pretty lady is there when I come to, she can’t complain.” He whispered, withdrawing his hands.

 

“I didn’t tell you to stop.” The young man said earnestly, with a fevered look in his eye. “I think that the attraction we feel is very healthy, sure you are a couple years older…” 

 

Dannyl had to submerge to hide his laughter, but Gary had floated far enough away that he did not notice. Tawny came in right on cue. 

 

“I know you have some ‘hangups’ Shai said you called them, about sex and sexuality. This might be a good time to hash some of those feelings out with the group.” Tawny had that practiced clinical manner that cut to the bone, until her giggle escaped.

 

“I hate all you guys, is everybody ok?” He asked quietly. 

 

“One of us nearly got cut in half, so no.” Tawny scolded gently. “If you had a teacup’s worth of blood left in you by the time we got you out from under that thing, I will eat my sandals.” 

 

Shai was lurking nearby, he could feel her. “How long was I out?” He asked the room, his voice barely more than a hoarse whisper.

 

“Nearly two whole days, it’s afternoon. Liam and Ivy should be coming back soon. Khan is with them, it’s ok though, the horse is there too.” Dannyl replied.

Shai appeared with a bowl that gave off a heavenly scent. Spicy, with garlic and fish, it smelled like home, but with groundworm and the local tomatoes it smelled like Home, too. A seamless mix of where he came from and where he belonged.

Shai’s grin was off the charts when he started sniffing and trying to paddle his way closer. “So hungry… is that cioppino? You have been playing with my toys again…”

 

The others drifted away, leaving the pair alone as she fed him, once again. “I did nae hae a birth day gift fer thee truly, what else have I, that ye do not already own?” She kissed him softly.

 

“But this, Becky did help with the searching out the recipe in yer befuddled mind, Ivy had a hand wi the making of it, so tis our gift tae thee. The beast were a job o work tae harvest wi out thee boy, even Khan did help wi that task.”

 

“Is that what I’m tasting? Mister Crawdaddie’s Pimp Hand is delicious. Any toast to go with this?” Shai hushed him with a sharp look.

 

“Nae solid food till Tawny do say, she did work hard sewing yer bowels taegether, twould be bad manners tae burst them.” Shai said firmly.

The patrol returned to find Gary hunched over and toddering around the common room like an unsteady drunk, while Shai fussed at him to sit still. “You hid my guitar, that’s no fair, how does that even work, how did you hide it inside me?”

 

“Gary’s not making sense, that’s a good sign.” Liam told Khan. “When it seems like he’s normal, watch out.”

 

“Ye can play the flute by the fire, an ye stay warm an sit still. I hae more soup fer ye, perhaps a bit o crawdaddie an Tawny allows…” She coaxed.

 

“Ok, but not because I’m tired.” He said, stumbling to a sofa and disappearing under a blanket that fell from the ceiling.

Shai sckooched in and fed him, promising; “An yer hands be steady enough, I shall fetch yer guitar tomorrow, eat and be good, then ye can have yer flute.”

 

He earned his flute time by letting Shai shovel him full of the delightful stew. Once the instrument was in his hands, he fumbled ineffectually until he gave up, not even managing to bring it to his lips. “Somebody play something, please, it’s like a tomb in here!”

Dannyl and Liam grinned when Tawny sat down to the pianoforte. Tallum limbered up and started a groove that was familiar, becoming unmistakable when Tawny took over. 

 

She drove the group into a smooth and mellow performance of ‘Take Five’, with Shai jumping in on the violin. Her bells and instrument combined, neatly filled that saxophone space.

Gary and Khan sat stunned, one because his friends were trying so hard. The other because he had no real frame of reference for the strange world he found himself in. Neither could decide exactly which category they were in.

When the music wound down, Gary corralled a breathless Shai in his arms to take her upstairs. He tried to take her upstairs, he wound up in a pile of loose limbs on the floor instead. 

 

“I wanna sleep in our bed tonight love… weekend at Gary’s please?” He begged, still struggling to stand.

 

She began to play something slow and sensual, noodling in simple scales while her hips drove Gary to his feet. He leaned into it and that made the whole thing smoother. Before long he was staggering upstairs like a drunkard, a marked improvement over forming a low mound on the floor.

 

#

 

 “To be able to walk so soon after such an injury is a testament to your skill, mistress Trelawny.” Khan said.

 

“More like it’s a testament to stupid men who think a little magic is a substiute for time and rest. If it were any but those two… trying to keep them apart is hopeless.” She sighed long and low. 

 

“Are we still being watched?” She asked quietly, when the pair were upstairs.

 

He nodded. “Two, they switch out for one another at midday, they are not attempting to be subtle. Would you like me to approach them today and ask why they are observing us?”

 

Khan and Tawny used their relative ranks and positions the way any craftsperson used their tools, confidently, carefully, and with knowledge of their limits and uses. They shared leadership, back and forth seamlessly trading who was in the lead as matters dictated.

“I slipped close for a look, they are War cultists from Port Fallon. They mean us no harm I am sure, though Brennan Fallon has a reputation for being… lax in matters of discipline, where commoners are involved.”

 

“I misliked the way he looked at Shai, Ivy and Becky, his interest in Gary was more than simple curiosity as well.” she said softly. “We will need to exercise caution and discretion for the duration of this trip.”

 

“From what little I have seen of your group, that plan seems doomed to fail. Your Gary seems ill suited to remaining quiet, can you keep him on a leash?”

 

Her gaze sharpened at his criticism. “Can you keep that horse of yours under control? She left us little choice but to allow that man inside. His aura disturbed me.” 

 

“I would have left him to bathe in the river… a pity he did not drown in the muck.” Khan grunted and stood. “I think I will have a chat with my former comrades.”

 

“Ask Ivy to put something from the kitchen together for them. Bribery is best when hidden in plain sight.” Tawny said. “We should make a practice of feeding our observers, that should blunt whatever plan is afoot.”

 

“I had heard that the Lady Trelawny Belen is wise indeed.” He intoned, with a shallow bow, just the right balance of respect, humility and familiarity. “You should meet her if you ever find yourself in Wheatford Acolyte Trelawny.

 

“Tawny is fine master Khan, we will be working together closely going forward.” She said warmly.

 

#

 

From the corner of the room, Liam felt a twinge in his stomach while watching the exchange. He headed for the garden, a little work would settle his insides. Tawny was a grown woman after all.

 

#

 

It took two more days of idleness before the boy was fully mobile. Even so he had the endurance of a toddler.

 

“We are running low on flour, salt and coffee, boys. Does anyone want to run to Port Fallon for supplies?” Ivy asked on the second morning since Gary woke.

 

“We could just start moving again…” Gary offered from his position in the pool. “I can walk now.”

 

“Aye, an when ye run out o strength halfway tae the shore, should we come back an stay here?” Shai scolded him. “An ye would be an Adventurer ye must think ere ye act.”

 

“I have been thinking, oh Dread Pirate Shai.” He gave a sharp whistle, and Otho came trotting up, loosely held in the traces of Gary’s weird blue dog cart. “I did some work on the mystery machine down in the shop.”

The two wheeled cart now sported an open cargo bed with an awning. It was still a bright teal blue, with stylized flowers and the bizarre ‘Mystery Machine’ text painted on the sides. 

 

“We can start moving, and with a baggage cart we look less… whatever we look like.”

 

The whole crew looked back and forth between each other for a few moments, before they shrugged in near unison.

 

“If we get back on the move, try and blend in as best you can. Port Fallon is much larger than Wheatford.” Liam stared straight at the maimed fool. “Gary, you will be attended at all times. No complaints.”

 

Liam coughed softly, drawing the attention of the group. “Should we, as Gary says, ‘bring Khan in out of the cold’, I don’t see any advantage to keeping him out.”

 

“I finally learn what this madness is in aid of?” Khan remarked snidely. “Annie has some ideas, they all revolve around those grenadier pears Becky keeps feeding her. Something about magic from beyond space and time making them more delicious. That horse is all muscle and appetite.” He complained fondly.

 

The group of young people all began to look shifty at that, almost guilty. “She even tried to claim that all three of you are uncanny in some way.” He laughed indicating Gary, Shai and Becky.

 

There was a lot of explaining to do. 

 

“... so there is a new god, Secret is out and Knowledge is in?” He asked, receiving nods all around. “And all this is you two?” He said, taking in the house and yard. 

 

“Tis all Gary, I do be…” 

 

Gary broke in, pulling her closer on the sofa they shared  by the fire. “Nuhh uhh, it’s both of us, all the way down.” Gary said, inhaling the scent of her hair, as she rested her head on his shoulder. He choked softly and coughed when the many yards of spider silk sewn into him tightened up.

 

“It really does take more than one person to haul around all of Gary’s weirdness. I have to lug a bunch of it too.” Becky griped, squeezing in beside the pair.

 

“And your soul is infested with spiders?” He asked, now even more lost than before the explanations started. “That does explain the chandelier.” He said, looking up at the fixture.

 

“Hey!” All three sang in unison. “Thirp made that!” They chorused, sounding almost ethereal together.

 

Dannyl came cruising in from the kitchen holding a tray that smelled delightful.

 

“Are those… tacos? Crayfish tacos?” Gary almost slipped from the sofa to the floor in shock.

 

Shai grinned wickedly and picked up one of the steaming miracles, chomping into it with no hesitation. 

 

“We thought it would be fun to see what they eat where you come from… most of it is pretty nasty.” Becky said, shaking her head so hard her beads clattered.

 

“Your king of the burgers, an that orange haired clown should be ashamed o their workings. Tis unfit fer stray dogs.” Shai poked him in the tummy. “Now I do understand yer paunchy condition. They do fatten thee up fer slaughter.”

 

“How did you even get these recipes? I don’t really cook, I couldn't make a tortilla to save my life.” He asked, getting sidetracked by tacos.

 

“Aye, ye cannae cook, in truth, but meself an Becky can, dinnae be a greater fool than ye must boy.” She scolded. “We did sift through many dismal meals tae find this and yer red stew.”

“These are lovely, though undignified.” Tawny declared. “I should like to serve these at tea with my fellows at the temple. They could do with a little less dignity.” Tawny snarked, licking her fingers happily.

 

“Let me know and I will make them for you.” Dannyl said, breaking some of his usual reserve around Tawny.

She smiled radiantly and hugged him, bringing a blush to his cheeks. “I will do that, Perhaps I could host them here, when we get back to Wheatford. Think of the scandal.” She almost shivered with delight at the idea.

 

Slowly, Gary’s trembling hand reached out, clutching feebly for a taco, only to be stopped by Shai. “We have more soup for thee boy, tis not yet fer thee tae eat solids.” 

 

Tawny dosed Gary with duskmoon pollen and put him in for the night, while the gang got themselves ready to move out the next day.

 

“Can ye teach me that spell Tawny? Tae put him down like that would be helpful.” Shai asked once the boy was out cold. “He did fret awfully at being denied tacos.”

 

“The temple must guard its lore carefully, Shai, just as Craft conceals his deeper secrets.” She smiled warmly. “Had you a contract with Healer I would, happily.”

 

“Aye, tis ever such, though I hae one Contract now.” She jingled her bells fondly. “Tis as though his hand were on my hips even now.” She sighed long and slow. 

 

“He dreams ye know, even under the duskmoon. Tis only music, but he dreams. Tis how I did nae die while ye worked on him.”

 

“I’m sorry Shai, I did not consider your… connection, are you… well?” Shai nodded silently and Tawny chewed her lip in concern. “I have no clue what you are going through, so here, off to bed.” 

 

Tawny shoved a wad of pollen into Shai’s surprised mouth and had her bundled in beside her musician before she knew what was happening. Tawny’s wand appeared and that was it.

 

#

 

The sun was out on a cold clear day. Gary woke, bundled up in blankets and tucked in with Shai, as they trundled down the road in the mystery machine. Otho was pulling them along at a steady walk and deftly avoiding ruts, rocks and potholes.

 

Tawny was astride Annie, so high up, she seemed even smaller than usual. She looked tired as she smiled down at them. “I thought it best to leave you two asleep, physicians prerogative. We are an hour away from the house now.”

“Well someone is trying to break into our house right now… any thoughts?” He said, feeling grumpy as someone pried at his windows and tried to climb his wall.

 

“A platoon of War cultists from Port Fallon and their leader, a knight of Order came by while you were sleeping that first night.” Liam said. “We stalled them, but they have been watching ever since, one is following us now. His partner must be trying to get in.”

 

“He just discovered the thorns and the berries, so he won’t be troubling us for a while. He has other things to worry about.”

 

#

 

Warrior priest Pedro Nazar was a career man, working his way up from indentured orphan to patrol leader. His reenlistment came with a posting to Port Fallon, a cushy and safe place. Just near enough the action to mix it up, but far enough away to be comfortable.

 

Brennan Fallon, the baron’s nephew was the only blot on a fine posting, but it was a stubborn stain. The man was sworn to Order, but he was poison to discipline. 

 

He was cocksure, entitled and arrogant, until the eyes of his superiors were turned away, then he showed his cruelty and lack of honor. 

 

Second officers were supposed to be assigned at random, to keep each other honest, yet somehow he always wound up tied to knight Fallon. 

 

It was almost as though the baron knew his nephew was a wretched sack of guts and wanted someone steady to keep an eye on him. More likely, someone common to take the fall when he inevitably stepped over the line… or got caught. Nazar had few illusions that the man had not sullied himself already.

 

Now here he was, a decorated acolyte of War, trying and failing to climb a garden wall like a naughty child. Gods above and below those thorns and berries were awful. 

 

“I will never live this down.” He sighed, while riding away in misery. 

 

He rode at a canter, hoping to catch up to the slow moving group; they had a Healer with them after all. His shield man, Levin, cantered up and fell in, seeing his superior approaching the troupe.

 

Nazar heard the music long before he saw the dog cart and mounted priestess. It was strange and twangy, coming from the cart in ringing tones. “…Banjo is more of an outside instrument, it can be a bit much indoors.” The man in the cart was saying, the source of the music as well.

He removed his helm and hailed the group as he approached, calling out loudly. “Travelers, I would ask your aid.” 

 

He was nearing early middle age, but as fit as he ever was. His black hair was less thick and glossy but he sat straight in the saddle just as he had in his prime.

 

When Nazar approached, the troupe halted, eyeing him in amused silence. The small blood spots and dark purple stains told the tale, even if his itching rashes and festering puncture wounds were not visible.

 

The fool in the cart began to play and sing without warning.

Once I was climbing the garden wall…

 

I slipped an had a turrible fall…

Fell so hard I heard bells ring…

 

I must have landed on my ding-a-ling-a-ling!

The others immediately joined in on a chorus of ding-a-lings and verses about who wanted to play with whose. It was all very confusing and humiliating. Fortunately, Khan seemed as confused as he felt.

 

“Is this what I should expect going forward?” Khan asked the priestess.

 

“Oh yes indeed, I should expect to see this kind of thing regularly.” She replied, and Nazar’s blood ran cold. He wondered if Fallon knew how close he had come to utter ruin. 

 

“Forgive my intrusion lady Belen, I have had a… misadventure with some toxic thorns.” He said with a low bow.

 

“So you did recognize me.” Tawny said coldly.

 

“Only when you spoke, I heard you sing the spring prayers at temple this year. Thank you for that.” He said, head still lowered.

 

She trotted over, still astride that massive horse. She whispered a short phrase while tapping her slender wand to his exposed neck. As a wash of cool sensations ran over him, the burning itch and savage stinging wounds subsided.

 

 “Gary, Shai, I would ask that our escorts guest with us tonight, this man needs a bath more than healing now, I think.”  The Lady Trelawny Belen said to the as yet unseen occupants of the cart.

 

A male voice with a strange sing-song accent floated out from the cart. “He seemed so eager to peek inside, it would be rude to say no. Shai? Do you have any thoughts on the matter of escorts?”

 

A tall, strong looking woman with shoulder length red hair clambered into view from the cart, eyeing him suspiciously. 

 

“Aye, tis nae harm I suppose.” Her rough hillfolk accent and garb pegged her as a commoner of the most simple kind. Barely civilized to hear some talk of the hill tribes. Yet here she was, speaking directly to Trelawny Belen. This reeked of politics.

 

“Warrior Levin, we will be escorting this party to Port Fallon. Those are our only orders now. Am I clear?” Nazar barked. The warrior snapped a crisp salute and looked much relieved. 

 

“Understood.” Levin snapped, falling in with the group.

He was just over average height, slim and graceful. He had short brown hair and sad looking brown eyes. His lips were turned down in faint disappointment most of the time.

 

As afternoon shadows lengthened, the troupe pulled up in a meadow near the road. The giant led the two War cultists into the woods to gather firewood for a few minutes. 

 

While they worked, the strange music began again from the cart. Even stranger, the red haired woman began to dance and play a violin. The bells she wore on her suddenly, very erotic hips pulled their gaze like magic. 

 

When they looked up, the damned inn was there, fully formed with windows and porch lights lit. Their scant armloads of firewood tumbled to the slushy ground with little noise while they gaped.

 

The older man, Khan, as Fallon had called him, stepped out of the shadows nearby, his blood red armor familiar, but somehow threatening at the moment. “If you say anything about what you have seen to that pig Fallon, I will see you again trooper Levin.” He said quietly.

 

“Yes sirknightcaptain!” Levin stammered.

 

“I don’t know you,” The strange knight said in a cold voice to Nazar. “so let me just say, this is family business, orphan’s business. If you bring Fallon a crumb of information about us, I will see to it that no one ever learns your fate.” 

 

He clapped his hands together with glee. “Let’s get warm and get you patched up, wait til you see the baths!” With an arm over each of their shoulders he led them inside, the giant always hovering nearby. “Its Adventurer Khan now Levin, I’m retired.” He said cheerfully.

In a quiet corner, Khan, Levin and Nazar were drinking from a bottle Khan provided and talking softly. 

 

“Was Fallon trying to get us executed? Or is he just an idiot? That is Trelawny Belen, heir to the duchy of Wheatford! He told me to break into her house! Do you think she suspects where I fell into those thorns?”

 

“Slow down Nazar. Fallon is a fool and a vile one at that. Honestly, he either did not know, or cares so little that you are expendable.” He grinned at them both. “Lady Trelawny knows exactly where and how you encountered those thorns, be honest and she will be merciful.”

Both men moved to stand and begin groveling, he stopped them with an upraised hand. “Don’t embarrass her, she is traveling under the veil of penitence. If you look you will see it. 

 

The lady’s hair was a golden flood, held back by a simple band of white lace, with a hint of a tiny veil trailing off. It was easy to miss, and indicated dangerous waters ahead.

 

“If you wish to avoid a debt of honor to house Belen, step carefully men and mind where loyalty and honor can be found… and where it cannot.” 

As though at some signal, lady Trelawny rose and strolled into the garden. The two men followed into the fading evening light. She sank to a bench beneath a pear tree, all grace and courtesy. 

 

“Yes my lords, how may I serve?” She asked mildly.

 

Levin folded to his knees and placed his head at her feet without preamble. “Forgive me lady Belen, I did not know your identity!” He groveled, while Nazar subtly dug a toe into his kneeling companion’s ribs.

Finally Nazar grabbed the man by his collar and hauled him bodily to his feet, where he remained, barely. “My apologies mistress Trelawny,” Nazar said politely with a slight bow. “My subordinate is mistaken. No doubt he is in need of some exercise. See that the horses are comfortable Levin.”

 

“Yes sir!” The man vanished into the stables even while his words were still audible.

 

“Levin is young and was only following my orders. I am the only one who attempted to break into your home. As his superior, all fault is mine, mistress Trelawny.” Nazar said, bowing slightly.

 

“Master Khan has informed me of your orders and from whence they came. I am satisfied by your apology. If you mean my friends no harm, we have no debt between us.” 

 

She smiled and it almost felt like dawn broke early. She seemed to radiate a golden light, even as the sun fell. “Please remind trooper Levin to maintain his decorum, propriety demands these sacrifices of us at times.”

 

“Yes mil- Mistress Trelawny” He said, still stunned by her smile.

 

“Tawny, sir knight, just Tawny the acolyte of Healer.” She vanished like a golden dream, flitting through the door on silent slippered feet.

 

When he found Levin in the stable the man was a wreck. “She set an honor debt, didn't she… one year? five?” He lurched forward, grabbing his superior’s cloak in a deathgrip. “I can’t do another indenture, I only have two years left…”

 

“Levin!” His voice cracked like a whip in the quiet stable, spooking the horses. “This woman is not just a noble. She is not like the Fallons or the Erasmus’ she is not a Holloman.” 

 

He swatted the younger man on the shoulder. “Honor and rank are not clubs to wield against the weak, some nobles know this. Find your courage and you may learn this for yourself.”

 

Before long Levin, Khan and Nazar were seated with the giant, Tallum and his tiny partner Ivy. There was no beer or wine to be had in their strange inn, but the food was good, the serving girls, pretty and wise men kept wandering hands close to themselves.

 

The red haired innkeeper looked able to manage any trouble by herself and the giant was her brother. He was with the cute blond cook… That left only the skinny dark girl with the beaded braids unattached… 

 

Khan’s hand clamped down on Levin’s shoulder. “Walk carefully Levin, they are from Wheatford, that is a town ruled by Order.” The young man sat back down to consider. While Nazar nodded appreciatively at Khan.

 

The music started when the sickly looking man that the innkeeper doted on, pulled a strange instrument from nowhere at all and began to play. 

 

It was a strange song, about a demon offering a Contract to a young man… a blasphemous if not dangerous topic.

 

Even the strange man’s companions seemed nonplussed at first, but his wild, mad eyes cut through their surprise. 

 

Something in the air made their shock and offense melt into jolly, good humor. Whoever this Devil was, or where this Georgia he Went Down to was, it made a good song.

 

Halfway through, the dark girl with the beaded hair came dancing through. Taking Levin by the hand, before leading him on a merry romp across the dance floor.

 

The innkeeper and the slim girl danced every man and woman in the place into the dirt, except the sickly musician. He played until the women collapsed, dancing with each other to the end.

 

While the rest tried to catch their breath, the musician kept playing, softly sprinkling notes and chords around the room. It was aimless, undirected and beautiful, like rain on a sunny morning. 

 

Slowly the group stirred and began heading for a curtained doorway in twos and threes. “Bathtime.” Khan said. “Come along, don’t be shy, we are all orphans here… mostly.”

Levin could probably drink for free in any tavern in Port Fallon on the tale of how he took a bath with Lady Trelawny Belen, heir to a dutchy. 

 

That would come with the risk of having his throat cut by any of her retainers that might overhear. It was perilous, walking on the heights.

 

While bathing among the plants and steam, with a duchess heir no less, should have been a glorious experience, neither man could easily shake off the horrid state of the dying man bobbing about like a well aged corpse. 

 

Nazar cornered Khan in the pool and whispered. “Should I take him away and ease his passage? I will if you cannot bear to, I owe your band that debt at least.” He bowed humbly and prayed to Joy that he would be spared that burden. 

 

Khan clapped him on the bare shoulder and laughed. “Mistress Tawny would see to it that you follow him into Secret's realm shortly. She is not one to cross where her stitchcraft is involved.”

 

The golden regard of Tawy swept over the men like the eye of a lighthouse, revealing what they believed hidden by mist and darkness. “If you think you can sew better than I, why are there holes in your smallclothes?”

 

Chagrin and shame crossed his face and he bowed deeply, almost submerging himself. “Forgive my impertinence, learned healer. I am but a simple warrior, and would not see a brother suffer without need.” He dripped as he spoke, his fine ‘stache wilting sadly.

 

Levin for his part could not stop smiling at the dark girl with the braids.

 

“Let honor guide your steps Levin.” Was all Nazar would say when he asked advice on bedding the skinny girl. 

 

Khan was even less helpful. “If that girl has a moment’s consternation or distress, Annie will be there shortly. I will be there not long after, with a mop.” 

 

Khan’s face looked serious, but surely not. “She’s just some maid…” Levin began.

 

“Did you see that sickly minstrel staggering along?” Khan asked, indicating floating the musician. “He will kill you and no one will ever find your corpse. If Nazar tries to stop him, you will both be lost.” 

He clapped them both on the shoulder and turned to go to his room. “I hope you are both alive in the morning.”

 

Morning came shockingly early. Patrol leader Nazar felt the need to provide remedial instruction to young trooper Levin, all night long. 

 

Trooper Levin ran, jumped, ran, recited the oaths of guardianship while running, jumping and attempting to avoid the patrol leader’s baton.

 

#

 

Over breakfast, Becky looked out in the garden where the exhausted men were torturing eachother. “What did that kid do?” She asked Khan.

 

“We don’t discuss matters of discipline outside those involved…” Khan said mildly. “He forgot his manners, leave it at that. If he bothers you tell me immediately please.”

The day was warm, melting the last of the snow and ice into mud. They trudged along, Gary in his dog cart wrapped in blankets, except where he held an instrument. He played all day, making the miles trot past with his strange gifts.

They hit river traffic by mid morning, small fishing boats and short haul cargo vessels rowed or poled in the calm morning. 

 

Many hailed the travelers, warning of the creature, or asking if they had seen it. 

“Took my net, an near took me too, snapper turtle if you ask me, and a biggun!” one old fisher said, snapping his near toothless jaw to illustrate his point.

 

“I did see a possessed salmon once, had bull horns and great slashing teeth!” Another cried, only to be shouted down by a neighbor.

 

“That was your wife!” The anonymous wiseguy called.

 

“Nae, twas yer wife, my girlfriend!” The fisher shouted back.

 

Gary seemed enchanted by the whole thing, bouncing through lively sailor’s songs about mermaids, and which half should be girl and which fish. 

 

Huts, houses, even houseboats began to appear as the river widened. When the city came into view, just after midday, they also saw the inland sea, a vast stretch of water, with mountains just visible on the horizon. 

Gulls wheeled and the air stank of fish and fishing. Gary unobtrusively slipped on his stink ring and his friends moved closer together. Kahn figured it out quickly once Liam pulled him into range.

 

The gate ward was; larger, rougher, dirtier and generally poorer than anything he had seen in Wheatford. He also noticed a few brown tiled roofs scattered in the district.

Ragged and dirty children rolled about or worked mending nets or fishing. Equally dirty and ragged men offered themselves as porters for a few iron bits, despite the group’s lack of luggage.

 

Gary’s music began to slow and wind down as they entered the populated area. “Fie! Another bawdy one!” Shai called with glee. She didn’t wait, She started into ‘Fat Bottom Girls’ right there at the River Road gate.

 

Gary picked the music right back up and started backing up Shai. “We were supposed to be low key.” Liam said to the cart bound fool. 

 

“Ok! Taking it down boys, follow me!” He proceeded to lead the band into a lower octave, continuing the song.

 

“Stop, stop. No singing, stop dancing.” Khan shouted, using his knight captain voice. It rang out clear and strident, cutting the noise while sounding calm, confident and maybe a little bored.

 

The Bathers were stunned when the music evaporated and Gary’s gift rolled up like a soiled carpet. “That worked?” Liam asked in wonder. 

 

“Khan!” Becky called. “That’s why we keep you around buddy!”

 

Shai’s hips were the last remnants of the music, slowly winding down when they reached the gate.

 

“Business in Port Fallon?” The bored and disheveled guard asked, streaks of gravy in his four day beard.

 

“Adventurers, traveling on guild business, Ginger Dreadnought.” Khan replied, showing his badge. The rest followed suit and they entered the outer city of Port Fallon.