Ch: 63 With Anemones Like These…

The duke eased into the bath, He was short, blonde, stocky and muscled like a  professional wrestler. His body was a wild tangle of scars and burns, suggesting a long and varied career contesting with unpleasant things.

“I am Leopold Belen, duke of Wheatford, this is Vera Anglin, my second officer. Your ridiculous lawsuit and magical antics are upsetting and disorderly.” He grumbled. “Now that we have been properly introduced, why have you made my pleasant and tranquil domain so chaotic?”

 

Gary’s tone held neither warmth, nor welcome.“You wouldn't say boo to me in Wheatford, you just sent a couple undead shitbags to my house then lounged around in the bath. Uninvited. Like now.” He said, mildly.

 

“Tawny said you had a mouth on you. Everyone, please leave us alone to discuss matters.” Only Shai hesitated to leave her boy unattended, Tawny dragged her off, whispering in her ear as they left.

 

“You have some strange ideas boy.” Leopold said when they were finally alone. “First, as duke, in my domain, I speak with the weight of law. I sit in silence until judgment is due, that is the law.” He made himself comfortable and lounged aggressively.

“Next, whatever occurred with those purported creatures, it was no working of mine. If I face a monster, it meets my blade, that is also the law. ‘Suffer no monster to threaten human lands and lives.’ I have never hesitated in that duty.” He met Gary’s eyes, his gaze hard and cold.

“Finally, I need no invitation, I was told this place was open to all orphans. Otho dandled me on his boney old knee when I was little more than a sprout.” A cheerful, boyish grin scampered across his face, showing where Jennah and Tawny found their dimples.

“Here in camp you meet Leopold, not the duke. Consider yourself fortunate, dukes take themselves very seriously. That is also the law. ‘The person and honor of the lord is the person and honor of the land and its peoples.’ I do not suffer fools lightly in my formal duties.”

 

“In that case, I’m Gary, Shai was grinning so I assume she knows you already, that means Becky does too. I’m kinda pissed they never mentioned it. I assume you guys have some traditional fig leaf that you drape over yourselves to go slumming with the peons…” Gary smacked himself in the forehead in frustration. “Tawny’s veil, that little wisp of lace she always wore in public…”

 

“I used an eyepatch and a false mustache.” The lord said with a cheeky grin. “It is the height of insult to acknowledge the rank of a noble under a penitent’s veil. Few would risk the repercussions of that.”

 

“So you put on a funny hat and the people have to pretend you don’t hold their fates in your hand.” Gary’s face twisted into a sour smile. “They are supposed to shuck and jive for your entertainment, knowing that you could crush them at a whim… charming.”

 

“A lord must have contact with the common people, else he risk becoming a tyrant without knowing.” Belen pronounced, sounding like an oft repeated quotation.

 

“Yeah, you wanna know when you are crushing people’s hopes and dreams, that takes careful planning to do well…” Gary took a long languid stretch before continuing. 

“Or you could just arrange to have the least powerful and influential of your subjects sold as slaves to fight your wars or wipe your bum. That’s a classic for all the wrong reasons.” The young man snarled, letting his mask slip a little. 

“I bet that makes you guys feel really good, hearing how great you are from people pretending they don’t recognize you, knowing you could crush them at a whim.”

 

“This is not some tale by the fireside boy. My warriors are taking shifts, hewing that thing by the shore back day and night. Without us, all the lands of man would have fallen centuries ago.” The duke shot back, just as fiercely.

 

“Wow, so lords and dukes take on all these responsibilities… All the crushing burdens of wealth, power and privilege, naturally you need orphan slave soldiers to do the job. You really turned me around on that one.” He chirped happily, his mask back in place in an instant.

He mouthed off flippantly, while floating around. “You talk about law a lot, Order too, funny how you never mention justice. That’s another thing I wonder about.” He was grinning madly and chanting his words, much as Streeka did. 

“You guys don’t have a god of justice at all. I found Secret, hiding in my soul. He had Knowledge stuffed in his pocket.”

 “So far, I have ridden a wild dryad, Given birth to two children, drowned a god in my bath, helped a spider become a demigod and devoured a worm that would have devoured Flintspire… and I’m barely more than six months old.” He paused to whistle a merry tune for a few bars.

“I’m here to hang your gods upside down by their toes until they see things my way.” He smiled in cheerful madness, as the duke shivered in the hot, swirling water.

 

“Enough. I would be done with you and back to work. My god will adjudicate your case in his time. Now is a time for War, my warriors are tirelessly harvesting a growing field of loathsome tentacles a mile from here.”

“Tomorrow, you may see a faint glimmer of what lurks in the wastes, perhaps that will inform your views.” The duke stood and made for the edge of the pool. “Mind your manners in public boy, this is a war camp, discipline saves lives.”

 

“I can do that, as long as you don’t push me into a corner. If one of your tax zombies shows up, all bets are off.” He followed the duke out, both wrapped in his ubiquitous robes. “Do you want us to take a whack at your monster problem? No guarantees but we can look at it.”

 

“Reports of your worm work are… difficult to reconcile with reality. Did you really ride a walking stick into battle against it?” He asked as they strolled to the changing room. 

 

“Yup, and your troops are going to be eating that worm for a long while. I have tons of it, literal tons, please help us eat it.” He sighed in despair. “So much worm.”

 

Becky was in the common room, working hard to stuff as much grilled, roasted and stewed worm as she could into any hungry warrior who wandered in from the nearby war camp. The raucous and happy clatter put both men at ease.

 

“Thank the gods and spirits, fish soup is fine for a while…” The duke paused, half dressed. “How is my arming coat warm and dry, why is all of it warm, dry and clean?”

 

The boy just kept smiling that way, like a mask of jovial foolishness, stretched over a bare, chattering skull. 

“Trade secret, you have to join the club to learn. By then it’s too late, they say it has to do with the moon and madness.” That enigmatic smile fit a little better when the bustle and music washed over them.

 

“Two of mine will be directing you while you are in my service, treat them with courtesy.” The duke flashed the Belen family dimples again. “I saw Rolf, he looked like you dragged him down the mountain behind his horse, while his horse looked fresh as a foal. I assume that is related to how my long delayed strike team arrived with you.”

He put on his commanding demeanor along with his armor, hiding the personable and bluff warrior behind Order’s uniform. “I cannot wait to see what other tricks your group hides.” Duke Belen said gruffly as he hung his helmet from a belt hook.

 

“Tawny’s dad is always welcome, the duke should make an appointment before he shows up, deal?” Gary offered, while Amy climbed into his arms.

 

“Acceptable,” He said, back in his brusque duke persona. “Your officers will arrive at first bell, be ready to work. This will be an official adventure contract, your band is under my command until this event is ended. If this structure becomes a liability, I will shut it down.” He paused in the foyer after putting his boots back on with an assist from Gary.

“I like you kid, you remind me of old Zygnos a little. That mad old wizard would have had a solution to this thing. If you can come up with a way to solve this mess before spring, my domain will owe you another debt. Otherwise, stay out of my way and work hard.” 

 

He strode off in the night, clanking quietly as he headed into the war camp. The duke was waylaid by a runner from War as he passed the picket line and greeted the guards. “Messengers from Fallon and Ellis my lord…” 

#

 

“Oh, that’s disgusting… even by moonlight.” Amy and Wilford were tucked in bed, with Tawny watching over the house, while Gary, Khan, Luna, Liam and Dannyl were looking down a gently sloping pasture at the ruins of a good sized fishing village a mile from camp.

Gently waving tentacles covered most of the seaside village, pushing up through the soil and groping about for food. Some were slender feelers, others were yards long ropes of grasping muscle and skin. 

No shortage of suckers, eyes, feelers and tendrils sprouted and withdrew at random across the open expanse of tumbled stone and partially dissolved lumber.

“Some kind of sea creature or collection of creatures…” Khan murmured in disgust.

 

“Creatures all right,” Luna announced, while she glared at it with her ruined eye. “it’s a colony, we see this by the shore sometimes. It probably washed in from the open sea.”

She put her eyepatch back on, quelling her chaotic gift of sight. “Think of it like a massive patch of groundworm, but smelly and bound to the water.”

 

“Delightful.” Danyl grumbled, strumming his guitar in agitation. “This reminds me of Tingly village… did the people get out?”

 

“We lost one fisherman, he raised the call, but never made it back to shore. Everyone else made it to port Ellis.” Khan said, hugging Luna close in the cold. “Have you seen enough?”

 

“Let me slip over and take a sample… Play something Dannyl.” While the young warrior struck up a local dance tune called the ‘Hayfield Reel’, Gary danced up with his spear and clipped off a tentacle, skewering it on the bronze point before scampering back with his prize. The creatures, stupidly enthralled in his spell, fell into time, swaying in rhythm and barely noticed the loss.

 

He touched one bare fingertip to his moist and nasty trophy.

 

Deep sea siphonophore, colonial entity, non intelligent, monster, outsider. Inedible, toxic, toxic sting. 

 

Anemone/cephalopod/unclassified, intelligent, monster, outsider, summoned entity. 

 

“We have trouble here guys…” Gary said quietly. “It’s smart and someone summoned this thing here.” He pointed to a huge conch shell, shining in the moonlight a few hundred yards away. As big as a small house, it was covered with barnacles of truly impressive size. Long pink tentacles could be seen waving about, faintly luminous in the wan moonlight.

“These green tentacles are dumb, just a lost beastie from the deep. That guy is something more.” They all watched in silence for a few minutes.

 

“That’s why the Stonesmiths are here. Their troupe specializes in these kinds of things, they pinned it with shaped stone walls. Their magic will keep it from spreading or escaping while we figure out how to crack this nut.” Khan lectured as they strolled back to the inn.

 

“The duke said Zygnos worked on these things, did you guys know him?” Gary shook and sucked on his stung finger, trying to get rid of the unpleasant tingling burn.

 

“Mad Zygnos the mage, yeah, crazy old coot. He always had some weird idea that almost always worked. Remember that giant slug beast? He killed it with a catapult and jagged blocks of rock salt.” Luna shuddered at some memory.

 

“Gods, the sound and smell of that thing,” Khan muttered. “it took a month to cart it away.” He looked at Gary with a startled expression. “You, you’re just like that lunatic… that was what tipped me off when we first met by the road. Gods, what have I fallen in with?” He mumbled happily, while soaking in the hot water with his bride to be.

#

 

The Healers tent had been full of sprains, dislocations and a broken leg or two, now the public bath was packed with rapidly recovering warriors eager to get back in the field. Tawny ruled over the pool with a velvet glove and a long wand, stirring the human soup occasionally with a spell here and there. 

Patel was nearly insufferable, taking samples of the water and assaying it through arcane means in the common room. “I have to work here, my samples vanish when I leave the building!” 

 

“Well this is a working inn, if you want to hog up a table, order something.” Becky was taking her waitress ‘job’ very seriously, she had a lot of meat to shift. “I’ll put you in for a shepherd’s pie, it comes with worm nuggets, worm soup or worm salad…” 

 

“I’m a vegetarian…” Poor Patel was having a very rough night. Shai took pity and summoned the grotto just for him.

With a quick misdirection by the waterfall she tucked him through the door, into a dry area with a desk and chair under a mushroom lamp. “Ye may use this chamber as ye wish tonight, we may be needing it on the morrow. The common room does close in an hour, be our guest tonight.”

She left the poor man in that strange chamber, with no further explanation or contact, beyond sending a chastened Becky in with a vegetarian meal of lentil soup rice and a salad.

 

“Sorry for bullying you about eating meat…” She said

 

“I understand just how much of that thing you have stashed away, I forgive you child. How about pilfering me one of those delightful pears and a bit of cheese?” He asked with a jolly wink.

#

 

Gary’s finger tingles spread up his arm and almost to the shoulder before it stopped. Interface kept popping up with helpful hints like:

 

Outsider neurotoxin detected, seek assistance to halt symptoms. Threat low, additional exposure will increase severity.

 

Back at home, he plunged his arm into the bath and it sorted out quickly. “I’m gonna talk with Thirp and the gang about these critters, night, night all.” Gary vanished upstairs in an uncharacteristically subdued fashion.

 

Shai pursued him upstairs, but he was already out cold. She had to catch up with him in another place.

“Dinnae scamper off, ye did nae even tell me whae ye saw out there.” She complained. “Will it be troublesome?”

 

“Yeah, there is a smart one out there, inside that giant shell. Some kind of octopus Cthulhu thing. I wanted to bounce ideas off you and Thirp together. Let's wait for Becky too.” Wilford and Amy cannonballed into the bed, with Marduk not far behind before they could get up to any dream world mischief.

#

 

All the adult Bathers were laboring in the workshop before dawn, except Tawny and Dannyl. Becky had the kids while the others had breakfast duty. The bleary eyed crafters ate in the pool and dressed for the day just as the first bell rang out and a knock came on the door.

 

Madeline Herlick stood just a hair taller than Dannyl, but massed as much as Gary in her full armor and kit. She moved with grace and ease despite that. Displaying the compact, dense strength of a powerlifter. 

Her face was pure shining happiness in milk chocolate brown. Gleaming dreadlocks, short and neat, formed an arming cap under her helmet and framed her high round cheekbones and huge dark eyes.

 

Her companion, Amber Bannock, was tall and lean with short, straight black hair and angular features. Their armor of Order was immaculate and showed none of the usual telltales of gender. Their voice was smooth and neutral, giving no clue at all. 

“Bannock and Herlick, we will be your supervisors. None of you set a toe out of formation or draw steel without our orders. We have allies out there that may startle you ducklings. Not everything inhuman is a monster.” The odd kids chuckled and grinned like fools for some reason when they heard that. At least they were ready to set out.

“All right, does anybody need the potty before we set out?” Herlick sneered at the newbs. 

 

“I do!” A tiny child’s voice piped up from the dog cart. A tiny girl who could only be three or four hopped out, dressed in miniature adventurer’s armor, followed by a burly toddler dressed in the same dark leather gear stiffened and reinforced with bronze rings and plates.

They rushed inside, accompanied by a twelve year old girl with a rapier and an extraordinary suit of armor.

“I took you to the bathroom before we dressed you…” She sighed as she followed them into the house. 

 

“Dear gods and spirits… babies, children, a dog cart… where did that house come from? This was a pasture two days ago…’’ Herlick patted her tall companion soothingly. 

 

“Bannock is a creature of order, this is going to be a tough assignment. Please bring all chaos and madness to me.” She fixed her gaze on the responsible, older pair, who were holding hands and whispering in formation. 

“Khan, Luna, I can only assume this makes sense somehow. So while your ‘warriors’ potty with assistance from a child who looks barely able to see to her own needs, please enlighten us.” Her attempt to be stern and commanding fell apart when Wilford trotted out naked, refusing to put his armor on.

Becky and Amy came chasing him, each one holding part of his outfit. “You gotta wear armor, we’re ‘venturing!” The tiny one cried, while the slightly older one grabbed up the naked squirming boy and started trying to shove him into his pants.

 

After a few entertaining minutes of the Adventurers laughing and giggling at the display, Bannock barked out in a commanding voice that made the instruments in the closed shop ring out.

“You are out of uniform Adventurer! Suit up and fall in.”

 

Wilford stood straight, snapped a salute with enough vigor that his pants fell back down, breaking the crew out in the giggles again.

 

“The Kids are only going into the war camp, they will stay at the healer’s tent with Tawny.” Khan said quietly. “They are a special case and can’t be left with just anyone.”

 

“Children in a war camp… what next? Working with the Stonesmiths is challenging enough.” Bannock complained. 

 

“The duke mentioned them last night, who are they?” Gary asked as they rolled out.

 

“A tribal mercenary group. They have great wizards and the best ritual mages, especially anything related to earth, stone, water or nature. Very secretive, they wear animal themed armor, like you, lobster boy. But we never see them out of uniform.”

 

“Crawdaddie, not lobster. I just work with what I have.’ He said with a smile. “Shai and Becky, they have the good stuff.” He said with pride admiring his handiwork.

 

Shai’s armor was close fitting and utilitarian, leather and steel covered most of her, with a vest of chainmail protecting her vitals. 

Visually her armor was unimpressive, but on closer examination, every element and detail had been inscribed and enchanted into a potent web of arcane protections.

Simple and extraordinarily well crafted she was kitted out for no nonsense combat. Only her swords and musical chimes at her hips stood out. Shining brass and bronze made her every movement a simple joy.

 

Becky was the opposite extreme, her mail of enspelled haunted plywood and spider silk hugged her limbs, sculpted and bent to fit perfectly, under a cloak that looked to be composed mostly of falling leaves. Ablaze in autumn colors of red gold and brown, she always seemed to be in indefinable motion. 

No matter where one looked in the shifting mass, it was difficult to pinpoint where any part of her was. Her Adventure guild badge was the only solid and unmoving part of her shifting cloak of leaves.

The small warrior in the puma mask whistled a short note and they formed up nicely. “Onward.” He said quietly, as the blonde in hunters leather and a beast mask began to drum a cadence for them. 

 

Faster than foot troops should have been able to travel, the whole band was at the healer’s tent, dropping off their gold robed priestess and dog cart. “Stay, Otho, guard the kids and Tawny.” Ivy commanded aloud, for the benefit of any outside listeners. 

Before the confused officers knew what was happening, the troupe was overlooking the field of tentacles, daylight was no improvement.

 

“All right Bathers, get those scythes ready.” Liam called out. “Gary, on your call.”

 

Bannock and Herlick moved to interrupt, but were forestalled by Luna. “They are not as green as they look, the lobster has a plan of some kind.”

 

“I’m gonna walk down to the shore and drum up some help, see who is available, come on Ivy, we have work to do.” He wandered down to the water's edge, a few dozen yards beyond the last tentacle and produced a number of long, wooden poles from nowhere and a pole driver.

With powerful strokes he used the weighted metal pipe to drive the poles into the compact sand and silt, until they stood at waist level. He handed Ivy a pair of wooden mallets and produced a set for himself. “Early morning percussion sesh, you ready to make some noise?”

Ivy just grinned wolfishly behind her mask and shook her arms out.