The line in front of the women's restrooms always pisses me off. We all know women take longer in the bathroom, we all know half the population is female, and yet we put the same number of toilets in each room. Sometimes more in the men's room, if you count urinals.

One night, while out drinking, I reached a breaking point. I got up to go to the bathroom, and was confronted with a line at least eight women long.

"Fuck it" I muttered and walked straight into the men's room. I noticed a few odd looks from the women stuck in line, and a bit of surprise from the men inside; but I wasn't here to make a statement, I had business.

The men's room wasn't even close to capacity; most of the urinals were in use, but more than half the stalls were empty. I took one near the back and locked the door.

As I finished up, I couldn't help overhearing a hushed conversation happening in the stall next to mine. It was a wheelchair-accessible stall, all the way against the back wall. It sounded like a couple guys were using it for some sort of drug deal.

"How do I know it works?" The first guy said, barely above a whisper.

"You'll feel it right away, it's immediate." The second reassured him, more casually.

"Then I'll do it here, if it works I'll pay for it." The first guy bargained.

"No way, money first. It works, trust me." There was a brief lull in their conversation, I could only hear a faint shuffling of clothing.

At this point I was done with the stall, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I wanted to hear what would happen next. I got dressed quietly, so I could be ready to leave in a hurry.

"Alright, here." the first guy said, as they exchanged goods. There was a brief pause, and then he asked even more quietly than before "So I just touch it with my dick?"

I had almost started to feel bad for listening in on a conversation that was clearly none of my business, but now I was curious. What the heck could they be talking about?

"Yeah bro." The second guy said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Just be quick the first time; some guys have a bad reaction, and you don't want to risk a big dose."

"Wait, bad reaction? You didn't say anything about that."

"I just did. It's super rare. Like, if you're allergic to peanuts, but you've never eaten a peanut-"

"Okay, I get it." The first guy cut him off. "Are we done here, or do you want to stay and watch?" He sounded annoyed.

"Easy with the attitude, I'll catch you later." The second guy said and left the stall. I could hear the remaining guy relatch the door and begin fumbling with his belt.

I had a brief temptation to peek under the stall partition, just to see what was going on, but that curiosity was held back by multiple layers of disgust; not least of which was the condition of the bathroom floor.

“Oh fuck!” The guy suddenly shouted, and dropped something small on the floor. He bolted out of the stall and then out of the bathroom.

The dropped item bounced a few times and rolled into my stall, stopping just next to my shoe. It was a hexagonal crystal, about the size of my thumb, that tapered to a point at one end. It was mostly clear, but there was a cloudiness around a few edges.

I reached down to examine it and then paused. Was it really a good idea to touch strange crystals on the men’s room floor? Whatever, I’m going for it.

I picked it up with two fingers and held it to the light. It felt hard and dense, I was pretty sure it was just a rock. A slightly smelly rock, after its tumble on the floor, but otherwise mundane.

I washed and dried it with my hands and pocketed it on my way out. I got a few strange looks from the guys in the room, but it was the same as when I’d come in; confused why there’s a girl in here. I made a brisk exit, avoiding eye contact.

On the way back to my seat, I could overhear the voices from the bathroom talking again, it sounded like an argument.

“Well fine, I’ll give your money back, but you gotta give me the crystal first.” The second guy was saying.

I kept my head down, but I did steal a glance as I walked past. The second guy was looking the other way, but the first looked straight at me. I held eye contact with him casually, I didn’t want to look suspicious. He looked away and hurried into the bathroom. I kept walking calmly until I got to my stool at the bar.

“Care for another drink?” The bartender asked as I returned. Over his shoulder I could see the guy from the bathroom looking around, increasingly agitated.

“Actually I just want to pay my bill.” I said. I settled up at the register and took the subway home. I had been waiting to meet a friend who was running late, so I went to text her on the ride home, but I saw I already had two unread messages:

Amber: “Hey, sorry to cancel last minute but I have to work late” - “I’ll get the check next time”

Well that’s convenient. I texted back:

Me: “Don’t worry about it. I have a weird story for you, call me when you get off work.” I hit send. I spent the rest of the train ride skimming the internet for information about mysterious crystals.

The only illegal crystals I could find were drugs, and those would have dissolved in water when I washed it. As best as I could tell the thing in my pocket was a simple quartz crystal.

I got back to my apartment, locked the door and threw my coat on the hanger. It made a ‘clunk’ when the pocket bumped the wall. I was still a little drunk, and bored, and feeling adventurous; I pulled the crystal out of the pocket and looked at it again.

I didn’t have a dick, but I was pretty familiar with my clit, and that’s basically the same thing, right? I tilted the crystal and thought about what that would feel like. It didn’t seem terribly comfortable, but something about the rigid hardness and flat sides was interesting.

I ran my fingers over it, feeling the stone. Maybe it was all in my head, but I thought I could feel a buzzing sort of energy under the surface, like touching one of those plasma dome things at the science museum.

I pulled off my underwear and sat down on the couch. I swung one leg over the cushions and left the other on the floor, pulling up my skirt so I could see what I was doing. I lowered the prism tip of the crystal between my legs. I’m not sure if I’m just more sensitive down there, but I could really feel that electric buzzing now.

I used one hand to spread my lips, and with the other I touched my clit with the crystal. I had expected it to feel cold, and hard, and maybe a little sharp on the edge; but I didn’t feel any of those things. The only thing I could feel was an instant and incredible orgasm.

“Ougha ahha” I gurgled. I wasn’t even cognizant of what I’d been trying to say, but it was clear I couldn’t make words. My pussy throbbed, clenching over and over without slowing. Almost out of reflex I pulled the crystal away and the orgasm gradually subsided.

I caught my breath on the couch. My face and chest were flushed, and I was already sweaty. What the hell was that? I’d never gone from zero to orgasm, let alone one like that. It just went on and on. I was still basking in the afterglow. No wonder that guy wanted this so badly.

I reached down and felt myself with my fingers, stroking the affected area. Everything felt alright; my clit was swollen, and I was wet all the way to my ass, but nothing felt hurt by the orgasm rock.

I sat for a moment reveling in my new treasure. I held the crystal in my hands and rotated it with my fingers. What a marvelous little thing. I wanted to talk about it with someone, but how do you even share something like that?

Almost as soon as I’d removed the stone from my clit, I felt a building urge to put it back. Eventually laying on the couch and looking at the crystal became boring, and all I could think about was playing with it again.

This time I decided to warm myself up first. I took off my top and got into a comfortable position. I toyed with my nipples, giving little pinches and prods until they were big and rubbery. I stroked my pussy, rubbing deep with my fingers. I was still incredibly wet from before. I held my lips apart and lowered the stone back into place.

It was like all the stars in the universe exploding at the same time. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream as my legs tensed and jerked, nearly knocking me off the couch. A scared little part of me wanted to pull the stone away, but a larger part wanted to feel how far it could take me.

The seconds rolled past, it must have been a minute-long orgasm by the end. Eventually the feeling coming from the crystal faded. My clit felt numb with stimulation. I put the crystal down and caught my breath again.

I felt myself once more with my fingers. The numbness was quickly fading from my clit, and other than feeling even more swollen, it seemed to be fine. Out of a pervy curiosity I tried touching my clit again with the crystal, but there was no reaction. I held the crystal to the light and inspected it; had I used it all up?

My stomach gurgled and I remembered I had skipped dinner. I hadn’t wanted a confrontation from that guy in the bathroom, so I left the bar without eating anything. Well, there should be plenty to eat around here. I got up and headed to the refrigerator.

I opened the door and looked over a couple containers of leftovers. Nothing looked appetizing. The longer I looked the less hungry I felt. The hunger in my belly was becoming a queasiness.

Absent-mindedly I reached under my skirt to scratch an itch, when I felt something that made me freeze. I lifted up the hem and looked down to verify what I had just felt: my clit was more than just swollen, it was growing. Already nearly an inch long. So big that it stuck out past my lips, to poke out like a little… penis.

I closed the refrigerator and examined this new development. It wasn’t poking up like a dick, just sort of out and down, and there was no pee hole or anything. Still, it was weird for my clit to be so big that I could wrap a finger around it.

I held it gently, and it felt really good. I could feel that it wanted more attention. The underside felt especially sensitive. I stroked it a little more and realized that the hood went all the way around now, it had fused below my clit, part of what caused it to poke out.

At this moment my phone rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I glanced at the screen and saw it was Amber, I had asked her to call. I thought about ignoring the call and texting an excuse, but as I let it ring I felt guilty, and silly, and answered at the last minute.

“Hey, what’s up?” I said, trying to sound casual.

“Not much, just got off work.” She said, I could hear her leaving the office in the background. “You promised me a weird story?”

“Oh right.” My brain stalled. What do I say? “It’s kind of hard to explain.” I stammered, trying to buy some time for my brain to catch up.

“Well I’ve got nothing to do tonight. Why don't I pick up a pizza and head to your place, we can catch up in person.” She offered.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” I said, nervous about having company over in my current state.

“Come on, it’s the least I can do after leaving you hanging at the bar. Your place is basically on my way home anyhow.” She rationalized.

I couldn’t fault her logic. How hard could hiding one little penis be? And at the mention of pizza my stomach was back to ravenous. That’s exactly what I was craving.

“Alright, you’ve won me over. I’ll let you buy me dinner and bring it to my house.” I said it like I was doing her a favor.

We got off the phone and I started cleaning up. Rearranged the couch cushions, picked my shirt and underwear up off the floor.

I went and got some fresh clothes, but while putting my underwear on I noticed my clit had grown even more in just the few minutes since I last checked. I finished getting dressed and tried not to think about it.

I looked myself over in the mirror. Nothing out of place, I looked the same as when I’d come home. I lifted up my skirt and immediately noticed the little bulge in my underwear.

While I was in the middle of examining myself in the mirror, someone knocked twice at the door, and then tried to let themselves in. I dropped my skirt back down and ran to the door.

I could see Amber standing outside through the peephole, she had a big pizza box in one hand. I unlocked the door and let her in.

“Thanks, this thing is hot!” She exclaimed, rushing through the door.

I made space for her and got us some plates to eat off. My stomach grumbled again, I was starving.

We dug into the pizza, and she told me about her day. I spent most of my time listening and chewing. I tried to prepare myself in the back of my mind for the inevitable questions, but my brain was in too much of an anxious mess to determine a course of action.

“Anyway, so how was your day? You said you had something interesting to tell me about?” She asked.

I took a big bite of pizza to buy a little more time. Think! She clearly could tell something was up, she was giving me a very puzzled look. Amber is my best friend, I didn’t want to keep secrets from her, but I felt nervous sharing something this weird. Where do I even start?

“So, I overheard what I thought was a drug deal, but it was about this crystal, and I stole it, but I think it might have…” I trailed off. She was listening intently, but she looked confused. I decided to start over: “Okay, so you know how sometimes there’s this long line at the bathroom?”

I explained the whole situation, but I stopped short of what happened once I got home. Amber listened patiently through the whole thing, nodding along and eating her pizza.

“Wow.” She said when I was done. “Can I see it?”

“What?”

“The crystal, the one you stole in the men’s room.”

“Oh, yeah.” I dove to the other side of the couch and grabbed it off the coffee table. I handed it to Amber without a second thought. It was only once it was in her hands that I considered the danger I could be putting her in.

She tumbled it in her fingers and inspected it. I felt a cringing embarrassment thinking about the last place it had been.

“I think it’s a quartz crystal.” I offered, remembering what I’d read on the ride home. I really just wanted her to put it down.

“I wanna try something.” She said, getting a mischievous look in her eye. Before I could react she shoved the crystal down the front of her pants.

“No!” I said, a little louder than I’d meant to. She looked up at me quizzically, nothing was happening.

“I guess it doesn’t work on girls.” She joked, putting it back on the table.

“I just told you I got that off the men’s room floor.” I said, still shocked at what had just happened.

“You told me you washed it.” She pointed out.

“Anyway, there was a little more to that story.” I admitted bashfully. I could feel a strong desire to just shut up, but at the same time I couldn’t help but tell her. She looked at me expectantly.

“So after I got home, I tried touching myself with it like you just did.” She kept looking at me. “But it sort of shocked me.” I said nervously. Her eyebrows raised a bit. “And, um, I think I might be growing a penis.” I said, looking her straight in the eye.

“What?” She said in total disbelief. “I could tell you were making something up, but wow, that’s a weird one. It doesn’t even make sense.”

“I’m not lying!” I said, feeling defensive. It felt like such a weird thing to argue about, but it had been really hard to share. I took a deep breath and tried again. “I’m serious. I can show it to you. Honestly I want to now, just to prove I’m not crazy.”

“Whoa, chill out.” She held up her hands. “I’ve seen your vagina before, I can look at it again. This is all just really weird.”

“What, when?”

“When we went swimming last summer, we shared a locker room.”

“Oh, right. Well good, you’ll be able to spot any changes.” I said. I slipped out of my underwear and tossed them into my bedroom. 

She smiled with a nervous amusement, but seemed happy to play along. She was sitting on the couch, so I moved the coffee table and stood in front of her, putting her eye-level with my crotch. Then I lifted up the front of my skirt, and watched her eyes go wide.

“No way that’s real!” She exclaimed, reaching out to touch me. I pulled my skirt down in a rush, knocking her hand away.

“It’s real. Ask before you touch.” I chided her.

“May I please touch your penis?” She asked sweetly, looking up at my face with exaggerated innocence.

“Okay, just don’t be weird.” I said, moving back into position.

“Sure, nothing weird about this.” She said sarcastically as she reached out. I leaned over so I could see what she was doing to me.

“Holy cow.” she murmured, grasping my growth and moving it one way then the other. I had a similar reaction, it was so much larger than I remembered. It was still small as far as penises go, even for a flaccid one, but it was gigantic for a clit.

It felt super strange for her to touch it. I was experienced with having my clit touched, but it was weird having it stick out so far from my body. Feeling someone grab it and move it around was completely foreign.

“This is a real penis!” Amber exclaimed, still shocked to discover I had been telling the truth. “What does it feel like?” She asked, then before I could answer went on. “Does it have a pee hole?” She began scrutinizing the tip.

“No, it’s just, like, a huge clit.” I answered, a bit embarrassed. I wasn’t sure how to explain the sensations, I was still feeling them for the first time.

“Well it looks like it has one to me.” She said, pointing it up at my face.

Inside the ring of skin at the tip, right in the middle of the glans, there was a little slit-shaped divot. I couldn’t argue with her, that looked like a pee hole. It all looked a lot like a penis.

I reached down to feel the area below my clit, where my urethra was, but I couldn’t finger it. My clit had grown so large that the skin had fused over the top. I moved my fingers even lower and felt where the fused skin stopped, just before the opening to my vagina.

I felt weird touching myself in front of Amber, so I didn’t probe further, but I guessed my vagina was still intact. Though at the rate things were progressing, who knows how long it would remain that way.

A sinking dread welled up in me at the thought of losing my vagina. At the same time, the sight of my growing penis filled me with a secret thrill.

“Does this mean you can pee standing up?” Amber asked, still marveling at my new appendage.

“I guess so.” I said, reeling from the reality of the situation. Amber’s reaction proved this couldn’t all be in my head, and I was still changing.

“All this happened because of that crystal?” She asked, turning her attention back to the little quartz hexagon. She was so full of questions.

“I don’t know what else could have caused it. The shock was pretty intense.” I felt awkward discussing ‘the shock’.

“Oh my gosh, and you let me put it down my pants!” She gasped, putting everything together. “What if it had shocked me too?”

“I tried to stop you.” I protested. “I’m pretty sure it’s all used up now anyway.” I said offhandedly.

“So it wouldn’t shock you if I touched you again?” She asked me playfully, pointing the crystal at my crotch.

Amber seemed to be taking this whole thing surprisingly lightly. I was still coming to grips with the fact it was actually happening.

“No, I don’t think so. You can test it if you want.” I felt like a fool adding the last part, but I could tell that’s where she was going with this, and I didn’t want her to think I was afraid. More than that, an excited little part of me was just as curious as Amber. I was pretty sure nothing would happen, but what if something did?

She reached out and gingerly touched the head of my dick with it like a magic wand. Nothing happened. I let out a little breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Amber looked a little disappointed.

“Wow, your thing is even bigger than the crystal.” She said, holding the crystal beside my penis. I wasn’t really sure how to feel about that.

“Does your vagina still work?” Amber asked, prodding the crystal a bit lower. I was shocked by her brazen behavior. She was getting carried away.

Before I could think of how to respond, the crystal grazed my opening, and a new wave of energy surged into my pelvis. The crystal fell from Amber’s stunned hand. It bounced off the floor and rolled under the couch.

I let out a low groan, trying hard not to lose my cool. I could feel a massive orgasm pushing through me, but I really didn’t want to cum right in front of my best friend. It felt like one of the only ways the situation could become even more awkward.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry.” Amber gasped, clasping her hands over her mouth. It seemed the reality of it all was finally hitting her. I tried to reassure her, but it seemed I was once again rendered incoherent by the pure ecstasy coursing through me.

“Donhg… hnngt.” I grunted. My knees were feeling weak, so I sat on the coffee table. The feeling was still building and spreading inside me, it almost felt like a strong g-spot orgasm; the tingling pleasure spread through my whole body, making me dizzy.

The feelings were causing my dick to dribble, even though I was still soft. The sensation of something coming out of my penis was so alien and erotic. Despite my best efforts I was getting incredibly turned on.

My dick began to swell and straighten out as I experienced the start of my first erection. At first it reminded me of my nipples getting hard; like a tightening stiffness that made my flesh swell and take shape. As my dick went from stiff to rigid the feeling shifted though. It almost felt like a muscle flexing hard. Like flexing my tongue to make it stiff, but involuntary, and throughout my entire clit-become-dick.

It wasn’t just getting firm either, it was growing at an incredible rate. Expanding from roughly the size of my thumb to a jumbo-hotdog size, more than half a foot long, in a matter of seconds. I could feel the weight of it as it towered in defiance of gravity, pulling itself up with tension from deep inside my body.

While my penis was growing, my vagina was diminishing. The orgasmic feeling was moving more and more into my cock. I tried to clench my pussy and I barely felt it, but my dick bounced up and down in response.

“Did you do that?” Amber asked, staring at my crotch. She’d been watching the whole thing.

“Yeah.” I admitted. “Not on purpose.” I tried to keep my breathing regular. The orgasmic feeling was still there, but I felt like I had gained some control over it; at least I was able to talk a bit.

“It’s so big now.” She muttered. “What does it feel like?”

I closed my eyes and tried to think of some words, but everything in my head was swimming. I looked back to Amber and opened my mouth to say something, but all that came out was a weird grunt. I completely lost control.

My dick started jerking and squirting, while my eyes lost focus and rolled back. Amber had been leaning over me, trying to get a good look, which put her right in the line of fire. My load spilled out all over her face and chest. I put a hand over my face in embarrassment.

The last spurts were accompanied by a sickening lurch in my crotch. It felt like something had oozed out of me. I couldn’t really feel my vagina at all anymore, but something had definitely happened down there.

I moved my hand out of my face and tried to assess the situation. Amber was still gasping in shock, thick strings of my cum were hanging off her face and shirt. Between my legs my penis was softening, a little string of semen dripping off the tip. 

Under my dick the skin was entirely fused, all the way to my asshole. It hung in a little sack, bulging with what I could only assume were my new balls. I could feel them hanging there, humming with the pleasant lingering feeling of my first ejaculation.