18.3

Young John had his hands planted against the double-glazed windows, body was completely still as his eyes danced in their sockets.

Today was just like the day before, and the day before that, and the day prior to the day…

His breath fogged at the transparent glass before him as a sigh escaped his lips.

It had been many days—two weeks to be precise—since he last met the mythical girl known Ephinelyth.

 

An Elder Dragon… Surely, that can’t be a dream, right?

 

She promised him to that they would meet each other again.

The longer the days passed without seeing the Elder Dragon again, he was starting to doubt whether her existence was even real to begin.

John had many things that he wanted to ask her, to tell her, to learn from her, to teach her…

But like the water droplets that gathered along the windows, his hopes of the girl returning condensed before they were sent plummeting to the ground of disappointment.

A lonely frown came to his face as he pushed himself away from the glass windows.

Like the days before today, the girl whom he thought to be able to be open with did not show herself.

 

Maybe it was all a dream. A dream I should be better off forgetting—

 

Knock, knock, knock.

 

The door to his room gave three distinct thuds. Following that was the sound of a gentle female.

“Master?”

“…”

“Are you well? You seemed fairly upset today, if you would—”

“It’s alright, Kahnira.” John forced himself to lie. “I am doing my reading. You can go rest for today.”

“I…” the girl, Kahnira, wished to speak further, but sensing his emotions, she reluctantly backed off from the door. “If master needs me, this maid is always ready to support you.”

“I know.”

When the sound of Kahnira’s waning footsteps finally left his ears, John buried his face into his hands, clutching his hair as his emotions bubbled up in him.

Today was a bad day.

Once again, his biological parents had caused him more distress.

Earlier, he had presented an award speech for a ceremony that the Sarvods organized, he did everything perfectly, and in his own eyes, everything for the evening went smoothly without fail.

That was until after he did his speech, someone tattled on a fist fight he started in school, causing John to become the brunt of his parents' scorn before all the guests.

I keep telling them I was not the one who started it… They were picking on Serene…

For all John’s diligence to obey their command, he was, like always, a failure in his parent’s eyes. That was why even with their wealth, he was not permitted to live in the Sarvod Estate, that was why he was allocated to this lonely house after having returned to his family from the Perxin’s. Had it not for Kahnira, he would have certainly gone mad.

 

After the ceremony was over, his father wasted no time in pulling him aside, threatening him with removing Kahnira permanently as his servant, selling her into the black markets that John had brought her out of from.

 

His redden cheeks had subsided from his father’s palm against him.

But physical pain was nothing compared to thorn lodged in his heart.

 

He hated them.

 

He hated the people in his school, he hated the strangers who expected everything of him, he hated the people who mocked him, he hated his parents for seeing him nothing more than a failure and a tool to be used.

 

Even with such emotions, he knew that deep down, he was just a hapless child, a child who did everything he could to please his parents. All for the slightest hint of love that he always wanted from them.

Kahnira knew this.

She was the closest person to him, she had keenly watched over him as everything transpired, but if John, the eldest child of the Sarvod family, held no sway in his own family, his maid stood no chance.

Kahnira was like a doting sister to him, she had been nothing more than the sole column that supported the weight that was in his heart. For someone who is not blood related to him, she cared more for him than his cruel mother.

 

That’s why, that’s why he could not burden her than he already had.

 

All he could do was to bide for more time, and hopefully, he would figure out a way to free himself from his parents’ grasp.

But for now, if he displeased his biological parents once more, she was to disappear from his life. If only he was smarter, more…willing, he could find someway to liberate himself from the constrains of his parents, to leave this forsaken place and escape—

 

“John? Hello, John, are you awake?”

 

Ephinelyth’s voice entered his head, jostling him upright.

“Evie!!!” his voice rang.

John quickly covered his mouth to avoid startling Kahnira, who was going to sleep. In a hushed voice he spoke as he turned around his room to look for the Elder Dragon girl.

“Where are you? Are you using your invisible magic thing again, I can’t—”

John’s voice cut off when he turned face to face with the silver maiden, his eyes locked onto her beautiful blue eyes that stared at him endearingly.

“It’s been awhile, I…” Evie looked downwards and away, “I hope you still remember me,” toes shifting as she had a faint pink on her face.

The worries that plagued at John’s heart vanished, replaced by a mellow expression of relief.

“I thought you forgot me. That or I imagined everything myself. I felt…”

“I apologize.” Evie lifted her simple skirt and bowed, “I-I was preoccupied to where my sense of time was jumbled up. An Elder Dragon’s perception of time is far too unreliable.”

“It’s alright, you’re here now.”

 

At least something is going well for me today. Even then, I still need to be ready to deal with school crap tomorrow. Dad’s going to make things worse for me tomorrow… I just hope Kahnira will not be affected by what’s about to come.

 

John sat on his armchair, body slumped as the furrows on his head returned.

Not even the sight of a beautiful girl could erase the lingering thoughts that persisted in his mind.

Oh shit! Evie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.

Realizing that his negative thoughts would spill over into Evie’s telepathic mind, John ceased his train of thought.

The Elder Dragon girl finally visited him, yet here he was projecting his burdens onto her without a care in the world. That was highly disrespectful for him to—

 

Pompf.

 

Evie’s soft body enveloped his before John could even turn to look at her, her arms wrapped around his body as she held him in her body.

“Evie? I-I… C-can you not touch m-me so nonchalantly…”

The Elder Dragon’s hands scrunched the back of his shirt as she tensed up in his chest.

“Why…” Evie croaked, “Why do you have such thoughts…you need not hide them from me. I-is that why you put on the facade of a fool...is it because o-of your parents?”

“What are you talking about?” John blurted out.

“I saw everything, not just today, not just what h-happened today.”

“Not just what happened today? Evie…what are you talking about?”

“Y-your parents, h-how could they deprive you of…care,” her telepathic voice breaking as she spoke to him. “H-how d-dare they a-abuse you…”

 

“Ah…your powers have grown since we last met, haven’t they?”

 

“Do not detract the topic! How could you not tell me about this when we first met!?”

John shut up. His life had been series of unfortunate events that he rather not had. He was fine with Ephinelyth reading his mind, but he saw no point in complaining it to her, they were his problems, not sweet Evie’s.

 

Finally, Ephinelyth pushed herself off his chest, but in doing so, she grabbed his hand. “Let’s go…” she spoke to him.

 

“Go…” as John was about to pose a question, his body was yanked upwards with great speed to the ceiling above. “Whereeeeeeee!!!”

Wailing and placing his hands as to brace for impact against the ceiling, instead John found himself passing through the ceiling as though his body was akin to a ghost’s.

“!?”

With his hand in hers, Evie flew him up into the nightly skies where the stars had become all hidden from their view, her eyes scanning their surroundings as she had a furious vigor in them.

 

“Worry not, John. I will eliminate the source of your sorrows.”

 

“Eliminate!?” John shouted, “What are you going to do!? Kill my parents!?”

“No, I shall erase all of their memories of you from them. I will do the same to the people in your school too, especially those who deceive you—”

 

“No!!!” John pushed Evie on instinct, rejecting her on the very idea proposed, but the Elder Dragon’s grip on him was stronger than 10 fully grown men, unrelenting as she watched him with her blue eyes. “Don’t, they don’t deserve that!!!”

 

Ephinelyth shoulders slumped, turning her head to John, all that John saw was a fragile face that was drenched in tears, “Then what do you need me to do!!!???”

 

“I…” John became speechless when he saw how heartbroken the girl had become.

 

“I finally learned to control my powers, John. I can now even manipulate the memories of others without hurting their minds. Here you are, suffering because of them, all of them, and I have the power to take it all away, you can come with me, you can bring Kahnira, I assure you, you will be safe if you just—”

“What did you read from my mind?” John asked, a bitter frown appeared on his face. “Why are you worked up over my own circumstances, You owe nothing to me...that’s why, it’s alright Evie, you having nothing to—”

 

“You were thinking of killing yourself!!!”

 

“That’s…I-I…”

 

“You promised you would be with me!!! You said so yourself last time that you would continue to talk to me, to let me hear you out!!! Why are you— How are you even thinking of such things!!!???”

 

“I-I…” John stuttered, remembering his mental exchange with Evie two weeks ago. “I did.”

“I-in...dragon culture...a promise...a promise...is kept. It’s a duty, a responsibility….a scared oath,” Evie forced the words out of her mouth. “And you promised me, John… Y-you promised…”

 

John was silent.

 

Here he was with yet another girl he never wanted to be in tears nor hurt.

His parents may be horrible, but even so...they were his birth parents, they were still the ones who he was supposed to give his obedience to, despite how much hatred he harbored against them, he never entertained the idea of them be voided of all their knowledge of him.

 

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I want you to do that to them, none of them. My situation sucks, but I am sure that if I prevail…” John faltered, he knew the words he spouted were far from the truth. “You have nothing to worry, my thoughts on not wanting to live, Kahnira talked me out of it long ago. Trust me, I won’t do something as stupid as that.”

With his hand still clasping hers, John moved his other hand to her wet cheeks, “Seriously Evie, what got an Elder Dragon like you so worked up. Seeing you sad is…” John’s vision faded before he could finish his sentence.

 

 

 

“[Heal]”

Kharston, Ephinelyth’s father’s voice, rang clearly in her mind as she leaned against outside the medical ward that her father had brought John to recover him from his shock.

With a heavy furrow on her face, Evie bit her lip.

Emotionally charged with John’s circumstances, she had brashly brought John to the skies, but forgotten that John was a human unlike her, the sudden change in atmosphere during their flight was too intense that it dazed him.

That’s why she quickly went to her father to restore John back to his health.

Even if his body was completely free from harm, she wanted him to receive the most complete form of healing magic that her father was capable of.

To her, John was—

“Ah, so you were the one emanating all those troubled emotions, Lady Ephinelyth.”

Evie remained still, ignoring the woman’s comments to her, the woman known as Celian Agnes.

Although Ephinelyth had remedied her rude assault with Celian and the dwarf hero had gotten quite close with her mother, Synthia.

Ephinelyth was not the type of person to like someone just because they were courteous, polite, or kind.

Ever since her telepathic abilities manifested, she had become far, far, far more selective of the people she would associate with. She already had little to no interest in others before she could read minds of others, her telepathic abilities only solidified her stance.

 

John was the exception.

 

“Your mother told you to wait. A hasty woman garners no love from a boy like him.”

“Tsk!” Evie clicked her tongue in irritation, “That’s a lot of words coming from someone who is reaching the end of her lifespan.” Ephinelyth’s voice contained a tinge of bitterness, but she did bother hiding it.

Mind your own business. Hero.

“If it’s about my future involving your mother, I am truly apologetic. I am sorry Ephinelyth, I bore no intentions of robbing your mother from you,” Celian Agnes bowed. Her hair dangling before her face as she continued, “When Lady Synthia told me— No, showed me what must happen, I too was in denial. But such are the tides of events, for the sake of the innocent people in the empire, for the sake of the next generation. Lady Synthia and Lord Kharston had resigned such a fate.”

Evie’s fists clenched. The reason she took two weeks before she finally had time to find John was because amidst her training to control her telepathy powers was because she uncovered the reason for Celian Agnes’ arrival.

The female hero of the empire herself had no malicious goals herself.

But when Celian Agnes arrived in the mountains where the dragons inhabited, the hero caused the wheels of fate to turn.

A fate that involved her mother’s soon to be inevitable passing, and not soon after, her father’s.

Death was merely a state of being to Elder Dragons, they would cease to exist in the mortal realm but live on in other ways if they so choose.

 

The fact remains that Ephinelyth would no longer see her mother in the flesh any longer.

 

She spent her days trying to confront her mother for keeping such a future from her knowledge, devastated as to learn of such a tragedy would soon occur.

“Lady Synthia does not want you to latch onto him in the wake of her departure.” Celian finally raised her head and spoke.

“What?” Evie blurted out. “I am not latching onto him, it’s just that… I…” Evie lost her train of thought as she became at a loss to explain herself to Celian.

 

John? Latching onto John? Since when have I started to…

 

Evie placed a hand on her head, Celian was right.

The moment Evie detected gloom in John’s heart, she prodded deep into his mind, leading her to uncover the various memories of John’s suffering by his parents hands, both physically and mentally.

His sorrows became her own. In fact, she had become so riled up that she was ready to bring the world down to its knees for having hurt John who was all too precious to her.

But none of this explained why she was getting attached to John... In fact, it was she herself who hugged him, it was she who asked him to run away with her and to live among the dragons.

 

“Keeper of the Hearth, Ephinelyth.” Celian spoke, a benevolent expression sprawled across the hero as her voice took on a mellow change alongside with her facial features.

 

“The Archangel of Love and I are grateful for your existence.”

 

Then, like a light piercing through thick heavy clouds, the haze in her mind became uncovered.

She understood why.

Two weeks ago, the very night Ephinelyth left John, she rushed back to her cave. When she arrived, Celian Agnes had already left her abode, leaving Synthia all alone in wait for Ephinelyth, no doubt to berate Ephinelyth’s tantrum earlier in the day.

 

“How was John? Interesting boy, was he not?”

 

Synthia had not spoken a single word, but Ephinelyth heard her mother’s thoughts full, causing the Elder Dragon girl to freeze where she stood.

Ever since her telepathic abilities manifested, she could read everyone’s thoughts aside from her own mother’s. And now, her mother’s inner thoughts were pouring into her mind as though she tore through the defenses Synthia had in place.

“I-I’m back,” Ephinelyth stuttered as she pretended it was a trick of her mind.

“Welcome back. Have you reflected on your actions earlier?” Synthia spoke, referring to the violent incident with Celian.

“I was in the wrong. I realized that I should have interrogated her—”

 

“Did you have fun? Oh Ephinelyth, did you finally meet him, the boy who...”

 

“Ephinelyth?” Synthia, expression unchanging, looked at her daughter’s sudden pause.

“A-as I was saying, I should have used my mind reading abilities to uncover her motives before resorting to violence. Celain Agnes is, after all, a dwaf, a mortal.”

“Indeed, I am glad to hear that from you.” Synthia nodded, and no longer spoke another word.

 

“As long he is around, I trust you will be fine Ephinelyth. You can rest your fate in his hands. Though...John seems to be a popular boy despite how cynical he is. Ufufu, I wish I could be there to see how happy you and him will become.”

 

Ephinelyth pretended to not hear her mother, keeping her mind as blank as she could to not let out any reaction.

This was the first time Ephinelyth ever heard her mother spoke about her own fate.

For all her life, Ephinelyth was an Elder Dragon that was born without a predetermined goal, unlike her parents, unlike her brother and unlike the various Elder Dragons that came before her, she was born without a purpose.

She was born without a dragon’s ambition.

And the responsibility to seek a one was on her.

Of course, her mother, who could see the future, always told Ephinelyth she did not know what the future held for Ephinelyth whenever she asked.

Ephinelyth accepted it to a certain degree, but she was not without her doubts. She knew her mother held many truths hidden due to her foresight powers, something about not wanting to upset the progression of the world, therefore, Ephinelyth never pestered her mother.

 

And now, her mother was speaking about what is about to come in her future.

All Evie could do was to remain her head empty as she could, keep herself as still as she could as she awaited her mother to tell her more about a future that would come.

 

“Everything has their purpose. I am intentionally letting you read these thoughts of mine, Ephinelyth. Finally, your powers have grown to read my highlyt fortified mind.”

 

Evie’s eyes widened as she leaned backwards.

“Ufufu, so you can finally read my thoughts. How wonderful, Ephinelyth. Your father would be so proud of you, our child, who is able to read my mind that is fortified by both your father and my magic, I expected no less from you.”

Ephinelyth was in a state of shock as she watched her mother speechlessly. “H-how…” she shook her head and rephrased her question, “Why have you not spoke to me a word about…”

“That is something you’ll learn to understand later on in the future.”

“D-did punish me so that I would leave in a-anger?” Ephinelyth blurted out, her mind still on her mother’s words regarding her meeting of John.

“Does it matter if I did? Does it matter if I did not?”

 

“You manipulated me?!”

 

Synthia shook her head, “I can only see into the far future, not the immediate one. I did foresee you meeting him decades before you were even born, but my foresight did not tell me you met with John on this very day. You did, not as Ephinelyth, but as Evie.”

Ephinelyth’s eyes spun.

She had only met John today, and yet here her mother spoke as if she knew of Evie for the longest time.

“It’s far too complicated for you to understand this moment. But more importantly, you shared your mind with him, did you not? You asked him to be a part of your future.”

Evie looked away from her mother, body fidgeting as she sweat profusely.

How does she know about that?

In dragon culture, the act of entrusting oneself to another spoke of a scared trust, a binding trust where a dragon would end up sacrificing their own lives if they believed that trust would be maintained.

That was exactly she did with John. By allowing him into her mind, she entrusted herself to him.

 

Evie’s face reddened.

 

“I… h-he…” she had no excuses.

She was the one who willingly initiated things, John on the other hand had simply panicked fearing that she might be someone nefarious. It came to Evie so naturally that she did not question it.

“Ufufu, and so she matures into a young woman.”

“Mother!!!” Evie almost stomped her feet. “I have yet to reach such a stage!”

“But your actions dictate a much different intention.”

“I can’t help it. He was all over the place. One moment he was suspicious, the next charismatic, aloof, funny, sad, fearful, I…”

“He reminded you of what you lacked.”

 

“…”

 

“You are girl who has everything, but lack purpose. And he is a boy who has nothing, but desires for more. Two individuals who are so similar yet have such different approaches in their lives.”

 

“…”

 

“Ephinelyth, what I’ve just spoke off is up to your own interpretation. But it seems you have made him your purpose.”

Synthia moved to hug her daughter soothing her Evie as she spoke.

“If your life so far was ever mundane, I assure you, your future would be enriched from this point onwards. We Elder Dragons are of a different species than most and our purpose is what drives us to live.

“My dear Epinelyth, you were born without ambition, but you have found your reason. What to make of it now rests in your hands.”

 

 

The weight on Evie’s mind parted as she returned to her senses.

The doors to the infirmary opened. Celian Agnes having said her piece disappeared from Ephinelyth’s sight, leaving her alone as John walked out with her father, Kharston.

“Can you teach me that healing magic?” John’s cheerful voice asked Kharston, completely unaware of his status.

“Haha, aren’t boys like you more interested in flaming swords of the like?”

“Don’t get me wrong, they are superb. But I was thinking, what if I ever come to need it… In the case if...”

 

“…Kahnira got hurt.”

 

Evie’s face twitched when she heard John’s internal voice. Even now, as he just got up to his two feet, he was already thinking of someone else’s safety.

“Ah, Ephinelyth, you must have waited a long for us. Sorry for holding up John’s time from you.” Kharston apologized before whispering to John, “Good luck, I’ll see you sometime soon.”

Winking at Ephinelyth before he left to the skies, Kharston left his daughter with John.

“That’s a nice man, is he the medic for dragons?”

“That man is my father.”

“Y-your father!?” his eyes popped.

“It matters not for the time being. Can we speak before the night ends?”

“I…sure.”

 

 

John walked silently along the mountain tracks as he followed Ephinelyth, who was at the lead, as the starry skies danced above him.

Despite being led into the unknown parts of an unfamiliar mountain, John was calm,

Here he was, with an Elder Dragon, in a place far away from the Eastern Continent where he was native to, far away from his parents, far away from all the responsibilities that he was plagued with.

 

In that very moment, he was free, free from it all.

 

Yet, his heart squeezed uncomfortably.

 

Is this what Evie had asked of him? Is this the world that he would be in if he had allowed the dragon girl to erase everyone’s memories of himself?

 

It was liberating, he felt though he was born anew.

 

But it was wrong.

 

This was not his life, this was not what he deserved.

John could not simply leave everything as it was.

His parents, for all his disdain towards them, still did not deserve such fate.

And what of Kahnira, what of Serene who he still owed so much too, what of the wrongs that he did to the beastkin girl?

He could not just uproot his life. It was irresponsible of him.

 

“John…” sensing the growing angst in his heart, Ephinelyth called to him. “What do you know of promises?”

 

John blinked rapidly, uncertain of what Evie is trying to ask of him. If she wanted a direct answer from John, she would have to simply read his mind to gauge his responses.

Ephinelyth halted, immediately turning to lock eyes her blue eyes on him.

 

“What do you know of love?”

 

“I…” John tensed, his gaze averted from her sudden question. “I am not sure. Even I…” his face drooped when he was reminded of his parents, whom thought of him nothing more than a disappointment, his parents who treated him nothing more than a performing monkey.

For a moment, John felt his heart bled.

“Kahnira, says its devotion. She’s...my maid, but I think of her more than a sister? A relative? I don’t know…”

John shook his head, he did not understand Evie’s question either.

When he was younger, far younger than he was in his current boyish state, he thought he understood what love meant.

After all, a child’s definition of love meant an eternity of being with people that cared for you and you to them.

But he was an unloved child.

“I’m sorry, this is a bit out of my understanding…”

Evie shook her head as if to stop John from apologizing to her.

“Your servant, in her way is correct,” Evie looked upwards into the nightly sky before continuing, “We Elder Dragons, at the very least from my own understanding, a promise and love are both synonymous with the other.

“To give one’s promise to another is a form of dedication, a dedication to fulfill what is spoken of. And the driving force for one to take action to accomplish this requires love.”

 

“…”

 

“This is about what we’ve communicated with the other two weeks prior to today. In our exchange, we’ve both partaken in the give giving of love.”

“I...those were just promises, they have nothing—” sensing what the girl was trying to speak of, John protested, but his jaws weaken when he saw a vulnerable expression on Evie’s face. One that was on the verge of tears, not of sadness, rather…

 

Love.

 

What do I do…

Unlike most who only understood the nuances and tension between the two opposing genders only after they reach their puberty, John was keenly aware that there had to be certain distances kept between a male and female.

He enjoyed the company of all as long they were nice to him, but to have such expectations entrusted onto him.

Evie had not needed to use her telepathy abilities to tell him what she was feeling.

 

“W-why?” the words parted his trembling mouth, fear and joy both surged in him as he tried to make sense with his prepubescent mind to what Evie was saying.

“I was given a future, a future where I found my ambition that I was born without… And I have chosen what it is.”

John shook his head, “I don’t understand. We’ve barely spoken that long, I…” his voice trailed off as the abundance of reasons to reject the girl before him filled his mind.

 

He liked her…

 

“But that’s not you Evie. That’s what you’ve been told, that’s your emotions for this second only,” John spoke. “Even if I know you are feeling this way right now, this moment. The same could not be said for the eternity that is to come.

 

My parents said the same thing, they say they loved me… YET…

 

His mind flashed, whips came flying in his way, fingers from strangers pointing at him from the humiliation that he was put through, the constant muscle tensing that his body had accustomed to, the nervous shifting of his eyes, the…death of...Serene’s mother.

“I don’t know, I don’t know if I can ever understand, I don’t deserve anything…”

Then as quickly as’ve it happened, Evie’s arms wrapped around his neck, embracing him into a hug.

 

“I know its hard to believe,” she whispered. “I know after what you’ve been through, you don’t know what to believe in. But your suffering is not yours alone to bear, if only…”

 

“...you realize that too.”

 

 

Evie’s voice echoed in John’s ears as he found himself in the bathroom, with a warm pail of water pouring down from his head.

Unsure how, or unsure when did he get into the bathroom whilst Evie was showed him the past.

But now, John in blood stained clothing was being poured pails and pails of warm water by Evie to get him cleaned.

He brought his hand to his face, slowly mushing it as he returned to reality, to the grim reality where both the Harvests and Aurelius had died.

Evie was quiet as she applied the shampoo over his scalp, she already spoke her part, she did not want to intrude John’s already fragile mental state as she continued to wash him.

 

“That was not me…”

 

John said to her in his head, knowing full well that she was listening to him.

“I have no memories of my past, they are gone… Along with Kahnira.”

Having glimpsed a portion of his past, and with the recurring memories that he had ever since his exile from A’vetheas, he was certain that whatever past he had, Kahnira played a huge role in it.

The mere glimpse of his memories of Kahnira could prompt John to act even when he had no drive.

She was as important to him as his own flesh and blood.

Yet, it took him seven years to remember her…

“I’m not the John that promised you so many years ago, Evie. I do not know what you see in him, but he is long gone… I am John Sarvod, the demon…exiled from A’vetheas, and...the man who failed… he who failed at everything.”

The John that was in Evie’s memories was younger, had a brighter personality, a much stronger resolve, and even as the world, the parents that he was born into were as cruel as his inner ideals, the boy never sought for anyone’s aid. Even as Ephinelyth of the past offered him an escape, young John never lost sight of his responsibilites.

His younger self which he had long abandoned and forgotten, was much more of a man than he—

 

“You are just the same.”

Evie’s clear voice resounded in his ears.

“The world you live in now, was just as traumatizing and cruel as the one you lived in. Perhaps, you can’t see it, but I do. Like in the past, you were always on the verge of breaking, having broken yet never relented, that is the reason why I…”

The girl chocked on her words, trying her best to keep her smile.

“My younger self saw that in your younger self, that is why I—she was more than eager to declare herself to you. But now, the current Ephinelyth, the current me is enamored with the current John. For even in your lowest of times, your grace preceded yourself.”

John’s failure at feigning to rape Ephinelyth, his pathetic words that lashed out at her, the pitiful display of his helpless self, his desire to push others away from others to keep them safe from him.

 

Ephinelyth saw through it all.

 

“I do not claim to understand your sorrows because I will never experience it, it is not my path, nor is it my fate, I was born without a purpose, without an ambition… Yet…”

Evie’s arms moved to John’s neck placing her body against his damp one.

“The more I try to understand you, the more I feel like I need to give myself to you, my empty self becomes full in your presence. The longer time passes, the less my meaningless existence stands to be the truth. I...do not understand it myself.”

John had his head hung downwards, his face trying not to break into a teary mess.

“With my ability to peer into countless minds, yet yours is the only one that I keep coming back to, the only one I belong to.”

 

Tears dripped from Ephinelyth’s face.

 

“From the day I have spoken to you, be it when we were children, be it who you are now, I am made acutely aware… Aware of what you are to me.”

 

John shook his head, trying to reject the words of Evie who he knew to be untrue.

 

“My purpose. My eternity. My reason.”

 

Of words he knew that he would never know of, of words that from the day he was born, that his own blood parents had deprived him of.

Of the words belonged to the people who were taken from him. Kahnira, Miros, Miril, Itzella, Mera, Meli, Aurelius…

 

“My ambition.”

 

People who he deemed important, people who had thought of him higher than he ever saw himself, people whom he thought would always be there for him if he fell.

All that can never come to be, all that could only exist in his delusions of a peaceful life.

All that never was...

 

“My love.”

 

His numb heart once again, begin to bleed in agony as all of the suppressed wounds of his negligent parents, of the death of Kahnira, of the loss of the Harvest, of the sacrifice of Aurelius came crashing down on him.

 

For all the void that was his heart, therein remains a spark of hope.

A hope that caused him his pain, one that burdened him with no end in sight.

The hopes of a child who was never loved, to be loved, and for that love to never leave his sight.

 

A hope that was the crux to his suffering.