Chapter 4

Hunter didn’t hate Paxton nearly as much as Ryan did. Sure, he didn’t like the guy, but that could just as easily be attributed to the fact that Paxton was popular and Hunter was not, and he had been raised by his parents to never compare himself to others, only to himself. Had that led to him constantly feeling like he had to be better all the time, working harder because he was in an arms race with someone in the past who could never do worse? Sure. But at least he didn’t hate Paxton. That was probably better. 

That said, he did want to very gently nudge the older boy into a hay baler at the moment. A crowd of students was gathered around him, and Hunter didn’t even know why. It’s not like Paxton had achieved or done or said anything of substance. He was just at the top of a list that nobody understood, and that was enough. 

There was a metaphor for society and fame in here, somewhere, but Hunter wasn’t interested in literary analysis, even less than he was interested in Paxton. He was interested in why everyone else was interested in Paxton. 

“So what’s the plan?” Drew asked, yanking Hunter out of his daydream like someone might take a kitten by the scruff of its neck just as it’s about to snatch food off their plate, holding it up to their face and going “so what’s the plan?” 

“Hmm?”

“The plan. For the mirror thing?” Drew said. He sat down in the seat on the opposite side of Hunter’s desk, legs on either side of the backrest in a way that made him look like he should be organizing a bank heist. He even had his sleeves rolled up. Hunter was explicitly not looking at them. “Do you have a plan?”

“Not yet, no,” Hunter said. “Do I really need a plan?” 

“Of course you have to have a plan,” Drew said. “You can’t not have a plan, Hunter, or you might turn into a girl. You don’t want that, do you?”

“Of course not,” Hunter said, with the same mix of trepidation and hubris people in a horror movie said things like “must be the wind” or “what’s the worst that could happen?” right before having their spine pulled out through their nostrils. “Okay, so what kind of plan are you thinking?”

The bell for lunch had just rang, but Hunter wasn’t very hungry. He usually wasn’t very hungry, which came in useful because Ryan was always hungry. It was the exercise. Surprisingly, Drew didn’t seem to eat much either, despite looking like he had already at some point in the recent past consumed a small cow which had consequently gotten lodged in his chest cavity. 

“Paxton’s got it figured out,” Ryan said as he pulled up a chair next to them. He flipped his chair around after briefly glancing at Drew, smashed it against his knee and pretended like he hadn’t. Hunter had only two options. He pretended he didn’t see it, and grabbed his lunchbox. Drew hissed through his teeth, choosing the other. “Ng-” Ryan said. “Nnnyway…” He took a deep breath, then took one of Hunter’s ham sandwiches. “Like I said, Paxton knows what’s up.” He waved the bread around for emphasis. Hunter hoped the little bits of ham that went flying when he spoke weren’t a part of that performance, at least. “He’s using his popularity to get votes. That makes sense.”

“Yes,” Hunter said. “It does. What’s your point?”

“My point is that we can do the same,” Ryan said triumphantly. 

Drew frowned. “What, use Paxton’s popularity?” Ryan glowered at him. 

“Of course not,” Ryan said. “But it’s all the same philosophy, isn’t it?” Hunter raised his eyebrows. Ryan didn’t talk about philosophy much, so if nothing else, this was probably going to be entertaining. “Paxton is popular because of the social contract.”

“Paxton is popular because we all buy into a shared set of moral and political values?” Hunter asked, fishing the cookies out of his lunchbox before Ryan could. “Wild.”

“No, not like that,” Ryan said, pointing at him with the last remaining corner of the sandwich, “though you are on the right track. So like, the thing that makes people popular is a combination of factors, obviously, but a lot of those have to do with acting the way people expect you to, in combination with scoring well on a list of arbitrary parameters.” The ham fell out of his sandwich, probably as fascinated by this side of Ryan as anyone else at the table.

“Ryan, are you feeling alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ryan said. “Anyway, he was born good looking and has an aptitude for fitness—”

“Like you,” Drew interjected. 

“Yes,” Ryan said. “No. I mean yes. Shut up, I’m getting to that. So he’s got good genes to start off with, and then all he has to do is act the way people expect someone who is good looking and fit does, and boom, he’s in.”

“Boom,” Hunter said.

“Boom,” Drew added.

“Boom,” Ryan said, slapping the table like he had just won the world debate championships. 

“So Paxton is going to win,” Hunter said, “is your plan?”

“No no no.” Ryan shook his head. “You see, someone like Paxton, sure he’s good at sports but it’s all because of the genes, right? But I’ve had to work hard to get to his level—”

“He’s faster than you, though,” Drew said. 

“Up to his level,” Ryan said, “and I can work harder. All I have to do is be better than him, and then I’ll knock him off that podium.” He held his hands up like a cartoon villain. “Well? What do you think?” 

“What are you going to do if he puts in even the slightest bit of effort?” Hunter asked. 

“He doesn’t know how,” Ryan said. “All I have to do is work a bit harder than usual.”

“Without looking like you’re trying,” Hunter said. “It’s got to look effortless.” He glanced at Ryan, who seemed completely convinced of his own success. “Are you sure you can do it? I mean, Paxton is very pretty.” He quickly shoved a cookie in his mouth to avoid the sound he had almost made coming out of his mouth. Drew looked at him inquisitively. “I mean, that’s what I’ve heard the girls say.”

He wasn’t strictly speaking lying. Paxton was something of a poster boy for the school. He had long, blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and the kind of jaw you wouldn’t so much bend a horseshoe around as you might use it to check if your ruler (or your friend) was straight. 

“Where’s Matt?” Hunter asked, expertly changing the course of the conversation.

“How should I know?” Ryan said.

“You should know where your girlfriend is, Ryan.” The three of them looked up. Paxton had his hands in his pockets, with two other students behind him. He looked like he’d just washed up from the set of Point Break. 

“You should know nobody has worn a shell necklace since the 90’s,” Hunter said back. “And they weren’t cool then.” There was a quiet ‘ooooh’ from Ryan, who bit his lip in appreciation of what was certainly going to go down into history as the world’s mildest burn. 

“Yeah, you’d know…” Paxton paused for a second. “You know, I’d insult you but I can’t remember your name or… well, anything about you, really.” He snapped his fingers. “I just remembered! It doesn’t matter! You.” He pointed at Ryan. “I look forward to seeing you try to keep up when you’re wearing the cheerleader’s outfit.” He winked. He looked like he was supposed to be chewing gum. The girls behind him giggled, telling Hunter they had an audience. 

“You want to see him in a cheerleader’s outfit?” Hunter said, leaning backwards. “That’s kinda… yknow…” he raised an eyebrow. Paxton froze, then looked down at him like he had only just noticed him. 

“Don’t be homophobic, Hunter,” Paxton said. “And I’m going to beat all of you. You know, they say the winner gets a prize. A wish or something.” 

“A wish?” Hunter said. “What is this, a fairytale? There’s no way the school board would let someone get away with unauthorized wishes.” Paxton rolled his eyes. 

“Obviously the teachers are in on it, or the names would already be gone. It’s probably some kind of… event.” He shrugged. “You’re going to find out what it is when I win it. See you asshats later.” He gave them a finger or two, grabbed one of Hunter’s cookies and walked off. 

“I hate him so much,” Ryan said, sighing. 

“Yeah,” Hunter said. “I’m starting to come around to your point of view on that.”

“Starting to?” His friend leaned back and looked at him incredulously. “What, you were in his fan club before? Can’t believe you, man.”

“No, I’m just saying I had no reason to dislike him, and now I do,” Hunter said. 

“He was right, though,” Drew said. Ryan and Hunter both gave him a look of shock. “Don’t be homophobic, Hunter. Implying that he wanted to win because he’s gay for Ryan and that that might be a bad thing is not a good look. He’s a tool, but that’s not because he’s gay. You know, if he’s gay.”

“One,” Ryan held up his finger, “there’s no way he’s gay, I’ve literally never known him not to have a girlfriend.” He held up a second finger. “Two. He literally came over here to call Matthew my girlfriend, so he was implying that being gay is bad too.”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right,” Drew said, leaning back and crossing his arms. “Don’t lower yourself to his level.” Something about being chided by Drew made Hunter want to hide in a locker and not come out for the rest of the day. 

“You’re right,” Hunter said, dropping his head on the table with a hollow thud. He suspected his head was the source, as it had to be empty. Drew was a little touchy about stuff like this. They’d once talked about it, a while ago, and Hunter had been curious where Drew’s… interests were. Apparently, both of them were more interested in specific people than in whatever was on someone’s passport. 

Hunter had tried not to feel a great deal of relief when he’d found out, even though he didn’t understand why. Something about the feeling felt guilty, and for obvious reasons he didn’t like feeling guilty feelings. 

“I’ll do better,” Hunter said. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s okay,” Drew said. He gave Hunter a smile that immediately made his day better. “I know your heart’s in the right place, I just don’t want you to accidentally hurt someone.”

“Where is Matthew, anyway? If we lose him, he might lose votes,” Ryan said. “He’ll be someone’s girlfriend at this rate.” He sounded annoyed and scooted his chair back and the others followed his lead. 

“Could be in the bathrooms,” Drew suggested. “We can check your scores while we’re at it?” It wasn’t long before they were in the pink bathrooms again. The scores had gone up significantly, but the rankings hadn’t changed that much. Ryan was now at a solid eighty, so apparently his plan of strutting around like an alpha… creature was paying off. It was paying off even more for Paxton, though, who had broken the low three-hundreds already. 

“Well, no Matthew,” Ryan said. “And whatever he’s doing, he’s messing it up.” He pointed at the names. Matthew had dropped a good ten places, and he was halfway down the third mirror now. “Whatever, that’s still a couple of weeks to make it right.” They stepped out of the bathroom when they heard a familiar chuckle. 

“Oh,” Matthew said from the girls’ bathrooms, “hey guys!” He was wearing the pinkest, glitteriest lipstick Hunter had ever seen.

Elamimax

whee! sorry for the delay, I haven't had gas or electricity, so this one was a bit harder to upload. However, I got another chapter done for the patrons :3