Chapter 12. What do I want to believe in? (I)
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Loy sat on the roof of the school. He looked to the horizon as he always did. He promised himself when he was a young student on the roof of this building that no matter what happened, he would keep coming.

He would keep coming because once he stopped, he knew he had given up on the belief that it will be different another day. However, he has pondered it several times since then. Should he break his word as a child or not. Has this promise to himself lost its meaning since then.

The bell rang as all the students entered the classroom. Loy sat down and saw that Lin had not arrived. The children gossiped between them that it was because of what happened yesterday.

"This is all because of you." said Dot to him as the teacher entered the classroom, quickly silencing the noises.

The lesson started and Loy laid his chin between his arms on his desk. Feeling desperate, as he sat there and waited for it to end. And when it ended, he went up to the roof as usual.

"How meaningless huh?" He chuckled bitterly looking at the horizon as he grabbed his head.

"What am I even doing all of this for?".

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Instead of going to the school, Lin went around Gillua thinking. She walked through the streets around the town until she finally came to the tall walls against the spirits on the other side of the town. She passed them as she strolled through the green fields, eventually reaching the forgotten bench in the back. She looked at it from the side.

She remembered Loy. The memory of him standing with the green diamond appeared in her mind and jolted her in place as she covered her face in pain. But right after that, the moment when they sat on the bench and looked at the spectacular sunset appeared in her mind. How they enjoyed the moment.

"No matter what happens next... thank you..." Loy said as he bowed forward and thanked Lin at her doorstep at the day they met. Lin shook her head from the memories.

Slowly and apprehensively, she walked to the bench and sat on it, looking at the view. For a moment, she felt the sad feeling in the back of her neck again.

"It's not the feeling that comes from the inside. I'm sure of it." she stated decisively. She turned around and looked at the town direction, "It comes from Nash.".

Determined, she went to the city by bus. As she got closer, she felt the sensation grow until she felt surrounded within the city. She stopped in the busy city center when she decided to try to focus on the feeling in order to follow it.

She knew that she could not ignore the strong aura that surrounded the entire city. Trying to locate the source, she closed her eyes as she concentrated on the sensation in the air.

"In this direction." she entered a side street.

Again, she closed her eyes, with maximum concentration and focus she determined, "There." she continued to the left at the junction in front of her.

Thus, she walked through narrow streets, feeling every moment that she was getting closer. She closes her eyes, concentrates, and followed the feeling. between tall buildings. between shops and factories. Between gardens and centers. Until she arrived at the school.

"Loy…" Lin whispered apprehensively as shivers ran through her body. Standing at the entrance to the school, she was trembling with fear.

"My memories tells me to run away but my heart tells me to enter." She thought shocked and confused.

"What am I doing?" she asked troubled.

"It completely contradicts everything that common sense would say to do." She called out with a strained clench of her teeth.

"But... I can't ignore this feeling... I can't ignore that I'm the one causing it." she thought as she felt a sense of guilt. "Remember what happened that night… Remember. Follow your feelings… follow your feelings." She memorized with her eyes closed.

Suddenly, an image flashed from her memory.

Middle of the night.

A woman comes out of a window looking in her direction.

She's crying.

Lin opened her eyes in pain.

"If I leave him, am I not different from her?" she asked with painful determination.

 "If I don't do this... what else do I believe in?".

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The lessons went by, and with each break Loy would take a look at Lin empty seat. And every time, his feeling of emptiness would only become more and more permanent.

At the end of the school day, instead of going home Loy went up on the roof. Digesting what had occurred, he looked at the horizon with empty eyes. He closed his eyes and took a long breath.

He remembered that moment, when his shirt was torn. Without looking, he could feel it, as if he was seeing into the souls of everyone around him.

The flame of their heart Energia raged.

The fear that prevailed in them at that moment sharpened all their senses to the extreme.

"Despite all the years. Nothing has changed huh?" Loy wondered as he took a long breath. He opened his eyes and with his hollow gaze looked towards the sun.

"L..-Loy?" A voice came from behind him.

He opened his eyes in shock.

He turned around and saw Lin standing there.

She stood there and with a tearful face looking at him.

"Loy.. I.. I.." she struggled to speak as she choked on her own tears.

"I'm… I'm sorry...!" she cried out in regret as she whimpered and struggled to speak.

Loy looked at her with a stunned look.

"The last thing I wanted was to hurt you! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she cried out overwhelmed. "I'm begging you! Please...!" she called out as she wildly wiped away her tears, " Can I- can I have a second chance...?" she asked smiling with her face reddened and wet from her tears that flowed like a river.

Loy looked at Lin and nodded his head affirmatively as he unnoticeably teared up too. He quickly wiped away his sudden tears.

Lin's gaze was relieved. She approached and sat next to him. She rested her head on the fabric of his shirt shoulder as she closed her eyes in comfort. Loy's heart felt like it was going to stop in disbelief at what was happening.

"Loy... I'm sorry for what happened... It reminded me of my worst memory... my biggest nightmare... I didn't mean to hurt you..." Lin whispered in pain as she closed her eyes.

"In contrary to everything they said... I believe you have a good heart!" she cried as her tears poured from her eyes.

Loy looked away to wipe away his tears, and she wiped away hers as well.

"Since what happened... I feel a sad feeling everywhere I go... but it's not the one that comes from me. I was sure of that. That one I got to know well enough recently..." she muttered dejectedly.

"That feeling was different, and it was there every moment.

When I ran away. When I thought. When I went to sleep... when I woke up... all the time... every moment. Non-stop. No matter what I did, it stayed.” she recalled.

"The first time I felt it, it literally felt like my heart was twitching and contorting, crushing like I was going to have a heart attack at any moment.

Since then, the feeling hasn't left me. In the end, I couldn't ignore it. I followed it and arrived at the school entrance. I immediately understood that it was you..." she said.

"I'm really sorry for what happened... I didn't mean to say what I said." she apologized. "I felt like I was there again... and I freaked out..." she admitted.

"When I lived in Saraf, my mother was the mayor of the city. At that time, there was a factory in town about which she was very worried.

She didn't trust the chief scientist there. Many times, unexpected explosions would occur in the factory and innocent people would be killed. It created a big mess in our city.

My mother decided that was enough. She made sure that the factory was closed and moved to a remote location, where it could no longer harm the city's residents.

The factory really moved to a place outside the city. But, after a while, a huge explosion was heard from it.

The beam of light that shot from it was visible from everywhere in the entire city.

After the explosion, a young man with a purple diamond stone in his chest went out of the factory on a brutal killing spree.” Lin recalled painfully.

"That night, even before the army and the authorities encountered him... he came to my home." Lin revealed in a painful tone.

Loy's eyes opened wide as he looked at her with a surprised and worried look.

"But it wasn't by chance... I recognized him..." she said. "I recognized him and I didn't understand why.

What did I do that hurt him so much?

What did I do this is what I deserved to experience this?" she mused.

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