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Rallie & Mill vs. Nachi & Ipucco
“Welcome to the second match of the Lesser semi-finals!” Chorus had taken over hosting duty since Rallie was otherwise indisposed. “Before I continue, I’d like to point out that not a single member of the Red Eyes Gang made it into even the quarter-finals despite having the most participants of any group in this bracket. It’s irrelevant to this fight, I just thought I’d poke fun at how pathetic that is. Really shows that they’ll let just anyone into their gang, and how hard it is to take their group seriously.”
“Our first team only had to fight them once, and destroyed them in seconds. They then went on to fight some mercenaries and a few of their fellow circus freaks. Make some noise for The Raucous Ringmaster, Rallie & The Whirling Wonder, Mill. Those aren’t their official titles or anything, but they could be, if you all repeat them enough.”
“Now onto our second team, a reluctant duo, only together because they were the last two left without partners. The only thing they have in common is their shared taste in aged liquor. But despite that, while it’s hard to say they’ve really fought together, they’ve done a fantastic job of staying out of each other’s way. The Historian Headmaster, Ipucco, and The Torturous Trainer, Nachi.”
“Those are their official names, unfortunately, because I would have come up with something better. Nachi has absolutely wrecked the Central Peace soldiers she used to train and fight alongside. And Ippuco has sniped those who weren’t paying attention, distracted by Nachi’s flashy moves. A combination that works surprisingly well.”
“Before we get to the fight, I’d like to point out a funny tidbit. Normally, we leave it to our competitors to reveal their wishes if they so choose, before they lose that is. But two in this fight have given permission to say them in advance, and they’re both dates!”
“Nachi’s wish is forced one-on-one dates with every woman in the Fiends For Hire where they must pretend they’re interested the entire time. Meanwhile, Mill’s wish is a chance to court our own giantess, Itsy. I guess he wants to have many large children together.”
“Quite the selfish pair we have hair. Maybe they should have been on a team together. Both teams elected against having obstacles, so what are you waiting for? Start killing each other for our amusement already! Let the fight begin!”
Nachi took the first step forward, but it wasn’t a sprint towards her opponents. No, it was a slight saunter right towards the center of the arena. In one hand, she held her polearm, but idly to the side as if to present that she wasn’t a threat. She held the other flat out in front of her, as if inviting someone to take hold, locking eyes with Rallie.
And Rallie seemed to take it as a challenge, slowly stepping towards the middle to meet her, though the woman never let go of her cane. When they finally got close enough, Nachi asked softly, “Care to dance?” It was barely more than a whisper for the two of them, but there was audio boosting equipment for the rest of the stadium to hear.
Rallie grabbed hold of the outstretched hand, and the two of them began to circle around each other, like two lionesses waiting to pounce. With each step, they got a little closer together until they were inches apart. Their hands separated, and Nachi slid hers to the back of Rallie’s waist while the ringmaster wrapped her arm around the trainer’s shoulder. And then began a more proper dance, that seemed to both awe and stupefy the crowd.
《Xard: I’ll be honest. I’m really not sure what we’re looking at here.》
《Kada: Chhshhshhshhshh, Quiet! Hot women are dancing!》
It seemed the competitors shared a similar sentiment. “Would be rude to disturb then, don’t you think?” Mill asked Ipucco. The two of them had wandered in each other's direction around the side of the arena as they watched the women with intrigue, acting even less aggressive than the two of them.
“Yes, it would be rather ungentlemanly of us,” Ipucco agreed. “We should let them have their moment.”
The pace of the women’s dance picked up, but the cozy, quaint moment didn’t last. As they started to tango, Rallie swung her cane at Nachi’s head, but the woman casually blocked it with her polearm and then swung back in retaliation. Rallie managed to get her cane back to defend in time. A few more blows were exchanged as the dance continued, though they were more performative than deadly, as if building up the tension.
Eventually, Nachi was spun away, but Rallie swapped her cane into a whip, and then wrapped it around the woman’s waist, pulling her back with another spin. She then had to sashay out of the way as Nachi’s polearm came swinging down at her. From there, the dance became more combative, and instead of holding hands, the two women instead locked their weapons together gracefully, treating them as extensions of their arms.
“It would appear that their dancing has now just become fighting,” Mill observed. “I suppose we should begin fighting ourselves, do you agree?”
“Well, we wouldn’t want the ending of the fight to be delayed on our account,” Ipucco agreed.
“Would you allow me a moment to get warmed up?” Mill grabbed his weights that he had set on the ground. “You may want to step back.”
“Certainly,” Ipucco nodded and began walking away. “I shall prepare my weapon as well.” After a few paces, Ipucco stopped and turned back around at his opponent, inspecting his own cane to make sure it was functioning properly, though he had done so just before the fight.
Mill had begun spinning his arms, whirling the weights in front of him like two windmills. Once the momentum reached its maximum, Ipucco fired a paralyzing shot at the large man. But it didn’t connect. Mill had managed to block it with his spinning, the edge of a weight protecting him from the shot.
Ipucco didn’t waste any time, firing off another round after quickly taking aim, shooting right for the man’s head. But it was another miss. A few more shots, and the elderly gentleman quickly started feeling dejected. The man’s arms were moving too fast, and the motion was just a blur at this point, so it was impossible for Ipucco to time his attacks perfectly.
All hope wasn’t lost. He just had to get closer. Ipucco dashed straight at Mill, right towards the deadly propellers. Mill took a few steps in his direction, but the gentleman juked at the last second, skirting to Mill’s side, and shooting him in the thigh.
That wasn’t enough to down the large man, but it did cause his leg to go somewhat limp. But Mill caught himself, kneeling down as he adjusted the direction of his spinning towards his attacker. “Wily one, aren’t you?” The Whirling Wonder commented as he continued to spin his arms, unphased.
《Xard: Oh wow, there’s some actual fighting going on now.》
《Kada: Shush, hot woman are still dancing, and now they’re angry dancing.》
《Xard: Well you can look at that, and I’ll watch the real action.》
Ipucco skirted around the man, not daring to get too close, but still had to close in on any vulnerability. Eventually, he managed to get to Mill’s other side and fire a shot into the other thigh, causing the man to fully lose the use of both his legs. But that still didn’t stop the man from whirling. He was just now an immovable windmill, though closer to a deadly blade if someone got too close.
The pair then had a bit of a dance of their own. Anytime Ipucco tried to get close enough for a shot, Mill was there, waiting to bash his head off. So the older gentleman had to try something crazy. He ran right at Mill dead-on and leapt into the air. After a stunning frontflip that just barely cleared Mill’s reach, Ipucco landed on the other side behind him.
He shot directly into Mill’s spine, paralyzing him instantly. The spinning arms quickly slowed to a halt after a few more rotations, and the man slumped to the ground. However, there was another variable that hadn’t been accounted for. Mill had inadvertently let go of the weights at their full speed. One was sent flying straight up in the air, only to come down crashing moments later that Ipucco had to scramble to escape.
The other was sent soaring straight across the arena, directly towards the two dancing women. Though they were less dancing and more full-on sparring at this point. As their weapons clashed for the hundredth time, the dumbbell crashed through both shafts, shattering them right in front of the women’s eyes.
Nachi and Rallie craned their heads, watching in horror as the dumbbell slammed into the barrier where it then slumped to the ground. The trainer’s weapon wasn’t truly destroyed, and Nachi had it back in her hands in just a few seconds. But Rallie’s cane was now mere splinters, and she bolted away from her opponent before she could be stabbed.
“Throat!” the ringmaster’s voice boomed, echoing around the stage. A woman ran right up to the edge of the arena, unable to actually pass because of the barrier. But she pressed her face against it and opened her mouth wide, unhinging her jaw. Rallie stuck her hand into the woman’s mouth, and pulled out a full-length longsword that was dripping with bile.
《Xard: Uhh, well, we do let the competitors use any weapon they want, so I guess we won’t count that as audience interference.》
《Kada: Bruh, what the mawhg was that?! I am so turned off right now. No amount of hot women dancing can make me unsee that. Day ruined.》
Rallie gave the sword a good swing to cast away some of the spittle, but the metal still gleaned and dripped. The woman then started marching back over to her opponent. Even Nachi, who was about as far removed from being a girly-girl as possible, was still visibly disgusted by her actions and took a few steps back, wanting nothing to do with that weapon.
The ringmaster took advantage of that bit of hesitance, swinging down hard at Nachi when she got close enough. The trainer went to block with her polearm, still a bit hesitant, likely not wanting it to touch her weapon, though it was still better than her skin. But before they could connect. Rallie went stumbling sideways.
A direct shot to her forehead sent her crashing to the ground. Nachi turned her head to find Ipucco’s gun still smoking.
The crowd cheered, and Chorus stepped back into the arena. “I just want to thank you, Ipucco, for all of us, for not letting that go on any further. This competition is not that kind of event. People need to pay extra for that. The winners are Ipucco & Nachi. After a brief break, once our host recovers, we’ll be heading straight into the finals of the Lesser bracket. One more battle until the good stuff. Hang in there, folks!”
~Unfulfilled Wishes~
Rallie: To perform for the entire world!
Mill: The chance to go on a date with Itsy Humdiddy. I have never seen a finer woman.
