Announcement
New Volume 4 Chapter(s) Weekly. Volumes 1-3 now complete!
Whill vs Sip
“Our first competitor is unaffiliated with any groups, one of very few in this competition. But his name is still known far and wide, at least in employment offices and courthouses for property damage. He can pull you close or push you away. Ladies and Gentleman, The Dingus Deterrent, Whill Ponde! He asked that I use his full name.”
“It’s The Dedicated Deterrent!” The man insisted as came out of the staging area. Once he got up on stage, he marched right over to Rallie and pulled the mic towards himself. “I just want to say to any potential employers out there, I am open for work. I’ll, uhhh, entertain any job offer. My qualifications are—”
Rallie wrestled the mic back from him and took a few large steps away. “Our second Fiend is another from the Wandering Souls Circus. Very few know of him, even amongst our fans, since he’s normally in the background working as a stagehand. He’s a bit shy, and doesn’t say much, but he’s equally stubborn. And his performance tonight is sure to stick in your minds. Introducing The Stubborn Stagehand, Sip!”
The man who entered looked pretty plain besides the hair and eyes, just wearing a hoodie and slacks. Compared to Whill who was dressed in a suit, likely to put his best foot forward for any employers watching, Sip looked like he’d never worked a day in his life. Together, they were certainly the dullest looking pair, missing that usual Fiend flare.
“Whill has elected for obstacles and Sip has voted against, saying they’d just get in the way. To the coin toss and… Sip wins it. We’re going to have a wide open arena. Now, then, gentleen, fight!”
《Rallie: Oh I should also say that I will be commenting since I’m one of the few who knows Sip. But joining me up in the booth will be Xard who has had a run-in with Whill before. What do you think of the man’s chances, Xard?》
《Xard: So our group did actually fight Whill a long time ago. He was the first Fiend I ever met out in the wild outside our group while we were traveling the world. Even though he had the advantage since our group wasn’t trying to hurt him, Whill still gave us a lot of trouble. And I’ll admit that he beat me soundly. He may be a bit goofy, but his power shouldn’t be underestimated.》
《Rallie: Very interesting, I look forward to seeing what he can do. But given what I know about his power, and what I know about Sip’s, I think we’re in for an interesting clash.》
“Hey there, sorry about this, bucko,” Whill acted as pleasant as possible while staring down his opponent. “I’m sure you have some cool Curse or something, but this should be an easy win for me. Your defeat will be my one-way ticket to finally living a lavish life. So do me a favor and get off the stage!”
Whill shot out his hand, palm facing right toward Sip. But uhh… nothing of interest happened.
《Xard: How strange. I’m certain Whill is targeting Sips clothes to try and blast him out of the arena, but they don’t seem to be budging.》
《Rallie: Hehe, that’s pretty much about what I expected. Whill’s going to have a tough time trying to make any headway.》
“Huh, is this thing on?” Whill pulled back his hand, gave it a good shake, and then tried again, attempting to push Sip away. “Hey there, friend? Your power wouldn’t happen to be Curse nullification.”
“Nope,” Sip finally said something, giving a short answer.
Whill then suddenly shot up into the air, using his own clothes to make himself fly before landing back onto the ground. “Yeah that’s not it since I can still move myself. Huh, well she mentioned stage props. Maybe your power has to do with clothes or something, can control them kinda like that famous celeb whose name I forget.”
“Alright then, if you won’t budge, then I’ll just have to attack you with something else!” Whill pulled a small metallic ball out of his coat pocket which then grew in his hand, about to the size of a zoneball. The man then held it out perpendicularly against his palm and fired it straight at Sip.
But then the ball suddenly stopped halfway, floating in midair, unmoving. “That’s never happened before.” Whill then started to strain himself, using more power to try and get the ball moving again. “Okay, maybe it’s just stuck on some invisible friction or something. Hey bud, is your power to make friction?”
“Uhh, dunno, maybe?” Sip was slightly more helpful, but still not really helpful at all.
“Well, let me try to loosen it up then, hngggh!”
《Xard: It would appear that Whill is trying to alternate between pushing and pulling the ball to wrench it free.》
“Yup, you nailed it!” Whill confirmed, panting a bit from straining himself. “But uhhh, doesn’t seem to be doing much good. Guess I’ll need to apply some good ole muscle.” The man rolled up the sleeves of his suit which then immediately fell back down as he walked over to the ball.
Whill grabbed hold, trying to pull the ball free, but it didn’t budge. Then he tried again from the other side. Pushing, pulling, tugging. He even got under it at one point and tried to push it up with his head.
《Rallie: I should probably take this moment to explain Sip’s name. Like most at Wandering Souls Circus, it is a stage name, since many of us want a clean slate after leaving our old lives. However, in Sip’s case, it is actually an acronym. S.I.P. or Stuck-in-Place.》
《Rallie: Sip’s Curse is the ability to stick anything in place, well any inanimate object. No matter what it is, he can stop its movement entirely, making it completely unaffected by outside forces, including gravity. If the object is too big or has too much momentum at the time, he may struggle with it, but the boy has become very adept.》
《Rallie: It’s very useful at the circus. From floating platforms, to juggling tricks, to making sure our acrobats don’t fall to their deaths. It’s just generally very useful to have around in our environment. And in this case, you could say that is the exact opposite of Whill’s power.》
《Xard: Hah… Phon must have known about this in advance and rigged the matchup. Wherever she is around here, I bet she’s laughing her ass off. While this probably won’t be the most flashy or gruesome fight. It definitely is interesting.》
“Alright, I give up on the ball!” Whill was keeled over in exaggeration about how much effort he’d exerted. He then stood up, put up his fists, and began hopping around like a pale imitation of a boxer. “If our powers really are opposites, I guess we’ll just have to have a tried-and-true fist fight!”
But then the man stopped moving suddenly. “Ah… I uhh, see what you’ve done here. You’ve made it so my clothes can’t move. Kind of stealing my gimmick, don’t you think? Pushing people around with their clothes is kind of my whole thing. So now I’m in a bit of a conundrum.”
“This is cheap clothing, but it’s also my best set. Ah well… We get a participation stipend depending on how far we make it, right? I was planning to use that money to hopefully find a new apartment, but I guess I’ll have to add new clothes to the list.”
Whill started writhing in his suit, attempting to step forward, though his pants wouldn’t budge. But then the arena echoed with a cacophony of rips. The man finally took his step, right out of his clothes. His feet slid out of his shoes and socks, planting his now bare foot in front of him. “Thank you for not messing with my underwear,” Whill was appreciative since that was now all that remained.
《Rallie: Uhh, what’s that on his boxers? It looks like writing.》
《Xard: Is that…? I think it’s his resume.》
“Uhh, yeah, about that,” Whill looked down at his shame. “Found a still-working printer in a dumpster one day that even still had some ink in it, so I got to work printing up some resumes. But I also happened to be folding laundry at the same time. A series of unfortunate events later, and my resume was printed on this pair. Obviously I never wore them again after that, but it also made it my cleanest pair as a result. And uhh, I wanted to dress my best for this, y’know?”
《Rallie: So he was expecting this to happen…》
“No! No I wasn’t!” Whill protested. “I just like to plan for any eventuality. But this isn’t about my wardrobe! Let’s focus on the fight! Hey, you there, Sip! Now there’s nothing stopping me from coming over there and punching you in the face! If you try to freeze my boxers for even a second, I’ll slip right out. So any indecency will be on you.”
“Hope you’re ready for a pummeling from a semi-naked man! And if that doesn’t work, I’ll have to resort to my patented Wet-Whilly technique!” Whill shoved a finger in his mouth, swirled it around, then pulled it back out, dripping with dribble. “I’ll shove this finger anywhere I can until you submit!”
That seemed to have been the right, or oh so very wrong, thing to say. Sip turned around and hopped out of the arena. “I surrender,” he said when Rallie got over to him. “We work with a lot of freaks at our Circus, but this guy is the biggest pervert I’ve ever met. I don’t want to be around him anymore.”
“Hey, that’s not fair!” Whill collapsed to his knees when faced with such slander. “I was just doing what I had to to win.” He then swung his gaze to the audience and cameras. “What I just did may have seemed odd, but that is the kind of dedication I’d bring to any job. So think of me, Whill Ponde, for any and all business needs. Seriously, any job!”
~Unfulfilled Wish~
Sip: To see Rallie smile for real.
