“Umm like literally anything? That seems like an outsized recompense for just getting struck down accidentally. Especially considering you have already brought me back to life….I am alive right?”
The bizarreness of my situation has made the small things like the questionable status of my mortality slip my mind. Hopefully this isn’t just a sorry you died like that. Have whatever you want in the afterlife to make up for it situation. Real bummer that would be.
“Oh most certainly you are alive good sir. Easy as reconstructing your soul from the infinite fine particles it was blasted to across this galaxy and stitching them back into a semblance of what you were. Really no trouble at all my boy.”
His reply is jovial and unconcerned. Semblance is a good word. So much utility and detail in the word, adds a good flavor to many a sentence, I find its presence here distasteful.
“...You know what I’m just gonna have to let that one slide I think. Moving on. It still seems disproportionate. I mean I could literally wish for another universe to be created just for me, or to become a god with more power than whoever is granting the wish. Which I assume is you? Whatever your name is.”
I lean forward eagerly to hear his reply. There is no free lunch in this world, and that applies equally to cosmic wishes. His reply is slow in coming. He seems to debate on how to explain the intricacies of the unfathomable to a being who is distinctly fathomable.
“Well firstly I apologize for the late introduction. You can address me as Demonic Architect of the Netherworld Inquisition. But you, my dear boy, can call me Dani. As for the unlimited power of this wish, well we gods work in mysterious ways. We may create another universe for you to play in, slightly tweak this one, place some illusions in your mind that are indistinguishable from reality or maybe even promote you to a true god. These things are simply a snap of the fingers to some of my upper management. So what will it be friend? Power? Sex? Drugs? Maybe even a little rock and roll?”
His calm voice has a steady cadence as he offers me anything I could possibly want while conveniently glossing over the demonic and netherworld parts of his epithet. While those are mildly concerning I choose to believe it is just a mistranslation from whatever higher language he usually speaks to my lowly English, surly demonic just means strong willed or something in high god or whatever nonsense he speaks.
“So if I simply wished for happiness what would happen?”
That being my first thought for what I would want. Who doesn't want to be happy?
“Well I could simply make you feel happy at all times. If you change the wording slightly I could give you a happy life where you fall in love, have some professional success, and a family that loves you till you die at the ripe old age of 82. Objectively the best age to die at in my opinion. But think for a moment Mister Kane, is happiness what you truly want? Is that what life is about?”
The raised eyebrow and leading town of his questions has me reconsidering. What do I want? Certainly happiness is nice. The warm sunshine inside and easy smiles certainly feel nice. Is that all I really want though? Would that be a fulfilling life? What if I asked for a fulfilling life? What would that look like? Would he just change my perception to find my current life fulfilling?..........Not what I want? I'm sure I would appreciate it after the face but that would be a different person than I am now. No. I want to find myself. Saying hay I wish to find myself is maybe the worst wish I’ve ever heard. I need to think. I need to write this down and be as clear and concise as I can. I want an epic journey where I have love and heartbreak. One where I fail and triumph. It will be a journey to become more.
“I need paper, pen, and some time Dani.”
He simply waves his hand and an exquisite crystalline fountain pen with golden embossed appears in my hand above a bone while sheet of parchment.
“A little rich for my blood but there is no accounting for taste I guess.”
“You are literally writing out the fate of worlds here depending on your wish. I think it is an appropriate amount of embellishment.”
His dry response is reasonable. Now to write.
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Well this is quite the story if I do say so myself. It has all the makings of an ancient epic with all the fun of the trash wish fulfillment rpg stories I love. Ah the sweet balance. Ancient runic script and cheat skills. Unreasonable stats and power progression right next to good old realistic and unforgiving combat. I will fall in love and rule the world. I will cry my heart out and curse whoever forced this life upon me. Damn, it seems I'm a bit of a masochist. After this is over, I may not know who I am exactly but I will damn sure have a better Idea of it then I do now.
“I wish for everything written on this page to come true in the spirit and intention with which it was written.”
I say as I hand over the document. There are only 500 words on it. I painted in broad stokes while think of the feelings and experiences I would like to come from this wish. Adding my spirit and intentions to the wish should allow for the purposely vague lines to be interpreted into something more amazing then I could ever dream up on my own.
“A wise and interesting choice. Maybe it won't bring the greatest joy, and maybe you will even regret it at the end but I simply must applaud your spirit. I also love this last line here. Quite an entertaining way to start it all off. You can trust the details to me Pax. I wish you a great journey”
Another thin smirk and wave of his manicured hand and I am in a boundless white expanse once again.
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I am awoken by the impact of 3 egg roll sized lumps hitting me in the face.
“Why the fuck are there eggrolls on my bed?!”
They are in fact eggrolls. How the hell did they get here. Mom must have made my favorite food for breakfast and for some inexplicable reason thrown it through the door at me??? Or they were teleported here by the gods of Chinese buffets. What time is it? I am still half asleep and cannot be convinced to deal with the inexplicable existence of Chinese delicacies in my room. What day is it? Thursday I think. No school. Good. Now what time is it? 7:42? Screw this I am definitely going back to sleep…after breakfast. I am seconds from biting into my unexpected gift from the universe when the clock ticks over to 7:43.
[Reconnection Established]
[Analyzing Energy Levels Of Planet Crayton Prime]
Well there is a dumb fucking name for a planet. Also what in the cousin-fuckin’ tarnation Alabama Betty Crocker Miss fuckin Betty White shit is this?
[Energy Levels Have Returned Above minimum Limits]
[Reestablishing System Rule Of The Local Galaxy]
Shuddering fuzzing interference appears in reality all around me. My mind feels like it is in four places at once and at least two of them are one the surface of the sun. My low moan from the discomfort comes out as warbled bird song. Lalj alksiodj aokjenm aljioaidp nvnae,a,dnoid???? ? ????? ???1133 0 2 13412341pi uy3 4 314159265 wub wub wub wub
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[Fundamental Laws Adjusted To System Standard]
Fuccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I can think again. I'm pretty sure my mind was running on binary there for a second. The purple floating text continues to scroll across the lower left side of my vision as I try and recalibrate my body so I remember where all my limbs are and I don't bite my tongue off trying to move my eyes.
[Welcome Citizens Of Crayton Prime]
God, still an awful name.
[The Essentia Of Your Planet Has Returned To Acceptable Levels To Allow System Rule Once Again]
[The Planet Crayton Prime Is in the 152nd Quadrant Of The Gray Empire]
[Under Empire Law The Jurisdiction Of This Planet Shall Fall To The Noble Family With The Highest Population Contained Within There Claimed Lands]
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[No System Recognized Landed Noble Families Have Been Found]
[Imperial Law Places The Planet Crayton Prime Under Temporary System Stewardship Until A Landed Noble Family Claims At Least 10% Of The Population Or An Imperial Censor Arrives On Planet As Overseer]
[More Than 2000 Years Have Passed Since Last System Contact With Clayton Prime]
[Executing Reintroduction Protocol 98]
[All Citizens Will Receive A Personalized Tutorial In The Next 5 Minutes]
[Live.Prosper.Explore]
