Ah, Friday, I love that word. I usually finish work early and leave before any of the major annoyances like Zeus or Tsukuyomi even wake up, let alone come into the office to annoy me.

Now, I only have five isekai acquisition forms left to review, and if I’m lucky none of those fucking kami will come to bother me.

Let’s see here, this kami isekaid 7 toddlers for some reason. He also gave them insane magical powers and made them invincible. Who the fuck is this mad—ah god of chaos, that makes sense.

But I'll just go ahead and approve it; I don’t want to make that chaos rat angry.

Unto the next one.

This one looks pretty normal, that’s odd. There’s usually some—ah, there it is. He summoned two 19-year-old boys to a world with no women, yikes. And this one is from hades, makes sense. Approved, they better have strong biceps.

*knock* *knock*

“come in”

“m-manager, I apologize for disturbing you but miss Astraea is here to see you.”

Oh man, she’s one of the hardest kami to deal with—she’s so innocently destructive. You can’t hate her because of how nice she is, but if you let your guard down she’ll cause the downfall of modern civilization or some other catastrophic event.

“let her in.”

Uh, she brought cookies as usual; damn, she’s too nice.

“hello miss Astraea, please take a seat. Thank you for the cookies, it always helps with morale around here.”

“I’m sorry for coming so suddenly manager, but I’m in quite the pickle.”

Why are you blushing?

“I summoned two great heroes who are loved by many humans, but they seem to have started fighting each other after taking down the demon lord.”

Wow…that’s rather…simple?

“I don’t understand why 2 men so beloved by humans would fight against each other so furiously.”

Wait, she summoned two famous human ‘heroes’?

“Who are these heroes?”

“I can’t remember their names, but the humans on this app called ‘twotter’ love them a lot, so they have to be real saints.”

Oh no, OH NO.

“they passed away a long time ago but I asked a nice Shinigami to help me locate their souls, he did look very confused as to why I’d want them though.”

Two people, that two different groups view as heroes in one of the most degenerate cesspools created by humans. I think I already know who they are, but I hope I'm wrong here.

“say, they wouldn’t happen to have two equally bizarre yet radically different mustaches, would they?”

Please, not on Friday, I’m begging you.

“wow, how did you know? Are you a psychic?”

Oh, you poor innocent soul.

“alright, I have a decent idea of whom I’m dealing with here, but tell me about their ‘hero’s journey’ if you may.”

“well, started taking over both the human and demon kingdoms as soon as they got to my world. They both had some opposition from small groups at first, but I think they changed their minds because they aren’t around anymore.”

Of course they did, and let me guess they also usurped the thrones peacefully?

“I’ve been asking them to stop fighting and start an alliance for a long time now but they wouldn’t listen, is there any way for you to help?”

“is winter in your world coming soon?”

“yes, but why?”

“the winter will deal with the small mustache. as for the big mustache just introduce pizza, lattes, and fast food to his kingdom, and the problem will solve itself.”

“will that get them to cooperate?”

“uh…yeah.”

I should probably report this and get a Shinigami to return them to hades before I leave the office.

“Then I will get started right away, thank you for your help manager.”

*sigh* damn she’s too nice for me to hate her, but hey I got cookies at least. They’re good too, and none of the interns seems interested in eating them so I get them all to myself.

Damn, these are good. Such a zesty flavor.

*knock* *knock*

Uh, what is it this time?

“come in.”

“m-manager I don’t know if Miss Astraea told you, but the recipe for those cookies came from that human app ‘twotter’ so you should probably not—”

“GET OUT OF THE WAY”

Oh god, I need the bathroom right now.

I hate this damn job.