Oh why had everything gone wrong for her?

It had gone to shit so fast. She was bleeding, there was a dead creature to her side. She panted, groaned as she rolled away from the pooling blood and cooling corpse. She hurt, fucking hell did she hurt. The bite on her arm throbbed and blood trickled down her torn sleeve, staining the blue fabric red. She gasped as she walked away from the scene, it felt like her foot was broken. 

What had she done to deserve this, she thought. Where had she gone wrong?

Well, she hadn’t done anything wrong now had she? That thought broke through the surface in her head clear as day. She stared up at the sky through the trees that surrounded her, the moon full and so much larger here, not to mention that there were three of them. All full, one purple, one white and gray like home, and one red as blood. She really wasn’t on Earth now was she?

Fuck, and this morning had started out so good.

She had been sitting on the bus, dressed in her favorite hoodie and only slightly torn up jeans. It was a fantastic day. She had gotten the email that her internship at the local wildlife sanctuary had been approved. Her grades were fantastic and her HRT had just been refilled with zero problems from the pharmacy this month. She was going to do it. She would get her degree and do things she had always dreamed of. For once, everything was going her way.

Then the bus exploded. She hadn’t seen a cloud in the sky and yet lightning struck right down the middle. Heat and energy screeched around her, she felt the impact through her entire body.  Screaming out, she fell backwards as something pulled her away. She felt her head hit something hard, and she blacked out.

Then she woke up. Her head pounded and every muscle seemed to scream as the midday sun shined through her eyelids, not helping the headache at all. She could tell she was lying in the grass, she could feel it, smell it. Dirt and plant life. Slowly she opened her eyes, looking up at a canopy of trees.

Had the blast knocked her into the park? No that's not right, the bus picked her up on the edge of downtown and was on its way to the campus. There weren’t any trees this large for at least a few blocks. Looking up at the pale blue sky that leaked between leaves, she took a breath, sitting up and looking at the forest that had appeared around her. Had the explosion, had it really knocked her out of the city? How was she still alive!? She was in some sort of clearing in the woods. She stretched her arm out behind her to balance, wanting to get a better look around, and jolted back as she felt something cold and smooth under her hand.

She turned and stared. Behind her sat a stone dais, clean and shining in the sunlight. In the middle of it stood a plinth, a bright, glowing sword plunged into it. She stared hard at it, silver blade gleaming, jewels on the bronze hilt and pommel ruby red. Her expression changed from one of fear and anxiety to… annoyance.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

She stood up, walking up to the dais and gritting her teeth. ‘Please be a fucking dream,’ she thought to herself. That's when the voice spoke up.

“Welcome, oh chosen hero!”

‘Fuck’

“Blessed day upon you Hero. For you have been given grace by I, the Goddess of this world. To bring forth salvation upon the lands of man and defeat the nefarious Lord of Demons who threatens all peace and good. Take up your sword, do my bidding and you will be given gold, jewels, whatever it is that your heart desires! Only a man such as yourself could defeat this foe.”

She stopped, eyes darting up at the voice coming from the sky and glaring. How fucking dare.

“Worry not, brave hero. You will not be going alone. For I will give you my blessing. And you shall go forth with my other chosen. Men like you shall-”

She reached out, grasping the sword quickly and throwing it into the dirt. She stared straight up at the sky, taking a deep breath and screaming out.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

The voice stopped. Silence reigned, not even any birds or insects made a noise. She hopped down from the dais and walked forward calmly. Every fiber of her being screaming at her to stop doing this, to just go with it, to not piss off the giant voice in the sky.

But she sure as hell wasn’t going to be misgendered by some sky voice. She stood over the sword, raising her foot up and stomping down onto the shining metal, very glad she had been wearing sensible boots today. 

“DON’T,” stomp, “FUCKING,” stomp, “CALL ME,” stomp, “A MAN!”

Silence. She stood there panting, the sword only looking a little scuffed up from her efforts. Fucking magic sword bullshit. She stared down at it angrily, then realized that it wasn't just her brain screaming at her. She grinned maliciously. Thanking her past self for choosing to wear comfortable jeans that day she unzipped them and let nature take its course.

“What… What are you doing?! Mortal… Mortal no!!” the Goddess yelled out across the clearing, the anger in her voice shaking the trees, but not the person standing over her sword as she sighed and began to take a long, very much needed piss down onto it.

“How dare you! How dare you, you foul creature! I was offering you everything! Riches beyond your imagination! A kingdom to rule over, and this is how you repay me!?” she screamed out, “You… you vile, human scum!”

She looked over her shoulder at the shining dais, sticking her tongue out as she zipped her jeans back up. “Listen. If you’re going to whisk someone away from their world to play ‘Hero’ for you, make sure that A) they aren’t going to know what the fuck an Isekai is, and B) that you fucking gender them correctly!” she shouted out, turning away from the sword and starting to walk away.

“Get…get back here! I summoned you! You can’t just, just walk away from this!” The goddess yelled in frustration, sounding like a kid who just got told she couldn't have seconds of cake.

“Can, will, and am as a matter of fact! Have fun with your war and genocide, find another person to do it for you. Bitch.” With that as her final message to the Goddess, she walked away, ambling away through the brush and into the woods. Behind her the Goddess screamed and cursed her, the air trembling and pulsing with power. As she disappeared from view, the air grew calmer, still seething with anger, but still.

“Well,” the Goddess said with frustration in her voice, “At least I kept a spare.”