Darkness.

All there was was darkness.

More than that there was something not, something he felt should be there. He could not place it but he could feel it. The mere absence of a single thing was enough to unsettle him to his very core and he could not see why.

Time seemed relative.
The darkness had continued for a long time now but he felt no passage of time yet there was still the nagging feeling of something being absent. The feeling was no more bearable than when he first came to.

What was this place he wondered? Was it still on Earth?
Last he could remember was….

Fear.

The fear.

The fear of the end, the fear of his own mortality coming to a close.

It was then when it struck him: what he was missing was the feeling of life.

He was dead wasn’t he? How did it happen? What caused him to die?
He tried thinking back to the fear but it quickly overwhelmed him and the darkness fully took his mind once more.

When his thoughts manifested once more he did not immediately try to rethink his death but rather the situation that led up to his death, hoping that would ease his mind… or was it just a soul now? into reliving the circumstances that led him to die.

It was a cloudy day but not a bad one per se. The dampening effect of the clouds made a normally unbearable summer day into something that could be enjoyed. Not too hot, not too cold. Just the right temperature for a nice walk. Sadly due to the bad lighting he did not take his camera with him for he knew that he could not make passable photographs. He started his hobby of photography when he was unable to find his way in life. Life did not seem bleak but he could not find a future to look forward to either so he took up photography to sate his innate curiosity and to see more of the beauty of the world. Friends with the same hobby were not hard to find and gradually his life came back on track. Enjoying life once more he started studying again with renewed vigor. Never getting a girlfriend was quite alright with him, he felt contend being surrounded by friends and family. As he was pondering these things on the cloudy day he crossed the street to the nearby bakery of which he quite enjoyed the donuts. With the same old chime of the bell he opened the bakery’s door and greeted the bakery owner.

“Hello Jonathan, what will it be? A chocolate donut with sprinkles as always?” The owner asked.

“Yes that would be lovely.” He responded.
He took his donuts and left, the door chiming in that same way it did so many times. He walked across the street and took a turn to go to the forest nearby, one of his favourite spots to take a moment away from the rest of the world. He went to sit on the rusted but still noticeably fire truck red bench he sat on so many times. He started eating his donut and enjoyed the taste while looking around him at the trees, the grass. He listened to the birds sing, the squirrels move and took it all in. Letting go of the stress of everyday life this way was something he had been doing for the longer end of 10 years now. As a fairly high ranking consultant for one of the largest tech companies, stress was something he needed to deal with on a frequent basis and luckily this was a good outlet for said stress.
Once he finished his donut he started to walk back to his house.

Then the fear struck.

He tried to remember but the fear was so immense, so primal that he once again slipped away into the Slumber of death.

Regaining consciousness took longer this time, if such a concept could even be applied in death.

Trying once again he found himself walking back home once more.
The fear did not strike instantly and when it did he mostly managed to keep his thoughts together. He walked down the road and turned a corner when time seemed to slow down. Looking ahead he saw a man pull out a gun and the sound,

the sound,

the sound,

Pushing onwards in his memories he saw the bullets come for him. He tried to run, tried to avoid the fate that had befallen him but it mattered not. They struck and the pain started searing, blood started flowing and the fear came back harder than ever, forcing him out.

Now knowing the fate that had befallen him and what it was that led to his untimely death, all what was left was to try and make peace with it.

But he could not.

How could a person make peace with everything falling away, the unbearable sensation of death, the end of himself.
There was no light in the dark, no sun after the rain had come and gone.

There was only death.

He hoped for some kind of salvation, something, anything to get him out of the darkness and as he did that, something did happen. He realised it immediately, life returned. With life came the pressure of something pushing down on him and the wailing of a creature in pain, no a human in pain. After a while the light came.