YOUKAI MOKUSHI
BY L. MOONLIGHT
3RD NIGHTMARE: A TRUE KAPPA
Niijigoku-shi, Japan, 2121 AD…
Two young men, a human and youkai, both no older than 10 were sitting on the sidewalk just outside KAPPACORP’s headquarters.
“Give it back, Kentarou-kun!” the youkai pleaded to the human who was currently holding an action figure.
“Nuh-uh!” the human jeered, “It’s mine now!”
“Oi, ningen!” a voice angrily called out.
“Crap,” the human boy said, “looks like Kii-obaachan’s here to ruin our fun again…”
“Who are you calling ‘grandma’, squirt?” Kii growled, putting her hands on her hips and bringing her face down to Kentarou’s. “I’m not even 1150 yet!”
“Kii-obaachan,” the younger youkai moaned, “Kentarou took my limited-edition figurine!”
Kii stood up straight and shook her head. “Give Daisuke his toy back, ningen.”
“It’s not a ‘toy’!” the young youkai moaned, “It’s a collector’s item!”
“Kii-kun,” Rie called out, catching up to her friend, “we have to get Gojou-san to fix your arm, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah…” Kii muttered, looking down at her right arm and clutching it with her other hand as it suddenly twitched. “You’d better have given that thing back to Daisuke by the time I come back out.” she leered, heading into KAPPACORP’s building as Rie followed.
“Pfft, whatever!” Kentarou said.
Just then, a strange girl appeared on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road. She was wearing an open red snowflake-pattern cropped jacket with a matching knee-length skirt, and odd choice in dress for an odd individual. Her outfit was accessorized with a belt wrapped around her white shirt, frilled detached sleeves, a red tokin and a dog collar. Somehow, she looked both fashionable and garish at the same time. Regardless, it was clear she wasn’t from around Niijigoku. Her canine ears pricked up as she heard the two young adults arguing.
“Please, Kentarou, give it back!” “No way, I already told you it’s mine now! Hey, how about I throw it on the road and we watch a car run it over?” “Kentarou, stop it!”
Kentarou suddenly yeeted the action figure. The girl jumped across the road, catching the toy with her hands midair, before landing in front of the two boys. She smiled and handed the action figure back to Daisuke.
“Was this mean human bullying you?” she cooed, pinching Daisuke on the cheek as he blushed.
“Thanks, miss!” Daisuke cheered, holding his collectible close to his chest.
The girl looked at her watch. “I still have time to deal with you…” she muttered, before turning to the human. “You know…”
As the woman spoke, Kentarou and Daisuke froze in fear. Although she spoke so softly there was an ominous aura emanating from her presence.
“You really should be more polite, ningen,” she said, looking towards the sky, “you don’t know how many Moon rabbits might be watching…”
“But it’s daytime,” Kentarou bluntly stated.
“There’s just one thing Moonbow can’t stand,” she said, “and that’s bullies like you poisoning this Earth with your mere existence.”
Moonbow reached into her bomber jacket with her right hand, withdrawing a ray-gun and pointing it at the human’s head as his eyes widened in horror.
“D-Don’t shoot!” Daisuke cried grabbing Moonbow’s right arm, “W-We were j-just messing around, really!”
The woman looked at her watch again and let out a deep sigh, shaking the youkai off and putting her firearm back into her jacket. “Time’s running out,” she said, folding her arms behind her back as she walked off. “Let that be a warning, ningen!” she called back before vanishing into the horizon.
DING!
Inside KAPPACORP’s headquarters, an elevator door opened up into the CEO’s office. Kii let out a frustrated sigh as Rie grabbed her left hand supportively. Kii reluctantly stepped out of the elevator with Rie standing very closely behind her.
“Ayy, Gojou-san,” Kii nervously exhaled, “it’s been a while, huh?”
Kaiji Gojou, who had the appearance of a typical balding, middle-aged salaryman bar his green beanie, rain-boots and the turtle-like shell on his back, looked up from his desk, lifting his cigarette away from his mouth and smiling an unsettling smile. He stood up from his desk and pushed his chair back to its position before walking toward the oni.
“Kii-san,” he spoke with a sly tone, “to what do I owe this… pleasure?” Kaiji stopped in his tracks and smiled. “Ah, I see you have Rie with you.”
Rie poked her head out from behind Kii’s back and nervously fake-laughed. “H-Hey, G-Gojou-san…” She stepped out from behind her friend and reluctantly bowed before the CEO.
Gojou sprinted over to the satori with a spring in his step, shoving Kii out of his way.
“H-Hey!” Kii moaned.
“Shut it, Kii-san.” He took Rie’s hands in his own before brushing his cheek against them. “Rie-chan, you’ve grown up to be such a beautiful woman. How old are you now? You must be 19 now right?”
“Y-Yes, I am,” Rie softly stammered. “And it’s ‘Satou-san’ to you,” she pouted.
“What’s it matter?” Kaiji smiled, “Soon enough you’ll be Gojou Rie-chan!” he laughed, still holding Rie’s hands and getting down on one knee. “Rie-chan, will you marry me?!” he cried. Rie visibly cringed. “Think about it,” Kaiji continued, “KAPPACORP’s responsible for the LSB, commercial space-travel to view Earth from above, all the robots you encounter every day,” he gloated, “you’d be rich and I’d have my dream gir-”
Kii put her right boot on Kaiji’s face. “That’s enough.”
“Ow,” the CEO groaned.
“She ain’t interested!” Kii snarled, “Back-off.”
Rie assumed her signature blank expression. “Pink stripes.”
Kii glanced over at her friend, “What about stripes?” she asked.
“I think…” Rie blushed, “I think Gojou-san’s…”
Kii stared down at Kaiji. The salaryman was red-faced and drooling happily.
Kii blushed, forcefully pushing her right leg forward, knocking Kaiji to the floor, where he landed on his back with a thud. “You really are a kappa1Kappa – a malicious water-dwelling youkai. “Kappa” is also a synonym for “pervert” in Japanese,” Kii spat, walking over to the man, as she pushed her skirt closer to her body, before squatting next to the kappa, removing his beanie and brandishing a pair of scissors, snipping his cigarette in half. “If you don’t want to lose what little hair you have left,” the oni angrily growled, clenching her robotic fist, “NEVER pull that stunt again, kappa.”
Sweat rolled down Kaiji’s face. “Y-Yes, K-Kii-san…” he stammered, “f-forgive me, it was an accident…” Kaiji wriggled around on his office floor like a turtle on its back. Kii sighed and offered him her metallic hand to help him up. Kaiji grabbed Kii’s hand before letting out a visceral scream as Kii grabbed down on his hand with enough force to break it.
“MY HAND!” the kappa cried, jumping back and gripping his broken right hand in pain.
“Oops,” Kii devilishly smiled, “my arm must be malfunctioning…?”
“Ok, ok, you’ve made your point,” Kaiji fake-smiled, “you win again, oni. But it’s gonna cost you to replace that thing,” he smirked, “this is the third time this year, after all…”
Kii held her scissors up, opening and closing them repeatedly. “Snip, snip…”
Kaiji gulped, “O-Or I could just trade it for a newer model…?”
Kii effortlessly jumped behind the CEO as the end of his newly-severed green necktie dropped to the ground. “Free of charge, right?” Kii smiled, folding her arms triumphantly.
“A-As you wish…” Kaiji sighed. “I’ll get you next time, Kii-san…” He bent down to grab the end of his tie off the floor, briefly considering taking another peek up Kii’s skirt, but deciding not to as she threw her scissors within an inch of his left hand. Kaiji picked up the piece of his tie and pocketed it, before heading for the elevator. “I’ll send someone up with a new arm. Please have a seat.”
DING!
The elevator door closed behind the kappa.
“How are you doing, Rie-chan?” Kii asked, placing her left hand on the satori’s shoulder.
“He didn’t stop thinking about me, since we arrived.”
Kii gave her friend a hug and smiled, before pulling her scissors out of the floorboards they had been wedged between. “I won’t let him lay a finger on you,” Kii said, “you have my word as an oni.”
“Thanks, Kii-kun,” Rie smiled.
———
Kaiji stepped out of the elevator and into a workshop, his face contorting into an angry snarl.
“How’s that new arm coming along?” he asked one of the mechanics.
“Gojou-dono,” the mechanic said, “all the requested upgrades have been implemented. Tracking device, telephone capability, plasma cannon...”
Kaiji smiled. “Ah, excellent! Can you have it finished by this afternoon?”
The mechanic stared at his boss, mouth agape. “G-Gojou-dono, that’s basically imposs-”
Kaiji raised his left hand, ready to slap the man, “Do it, or you’re fired; and have my secretary send it up to Ibarra when you’re done. I have business to attend to elsewhere,” he announced, once again entering the elevator and hitting the ground floor button.
DING!
Meanwhile in Kaiji’s office, Kii was lying on a couch, her right arm detached and sitting on the coffee table to her right.
SQUEAK! SQUEAK!
“C’mon, Kii-kun,” Rie called out, her Mary Janes squeaking on the floorboards as she used them to propel herself forward on Kaiji’s swivel chair, “race me!”
Kii looked over to her friend and sighed. “You’re so childish, do you know that?”
Rie looked at her with a blank stare. “I know you want to.”
“… You’re going down, Satou.”
———
DING!
Hours later, an office lady arrived holding an arm-length box. She stared blankly at Rie and Kii, who were smacking themselves with seat cushions on the couch. “Ahem!” the lady projected, “Delivery for a… Thorn-san2The secretary mistakes Kii’s surname Ibarra (イバーラー) for “Ibara”, the Japanese word for thorns?”
Kii blushed, placing the cushion back on the couch. “It’s ‘Ibarra’,” she said, taking the box from out of Kaiji’s secretary’s hands. “Thank you.” She looked back over at Rie. “Let’s bounce, Rie-chan.”
Rie hopped off the couch, mindlessly throwing the cushion behind her. “Where’s Gojou-san?”
“He’s out,” the secretary replied, smiling at the two youkai. “Have a nice day and please visit KAPPACORP again!”
Kii and Rie stepped into the elevator. “Do you mind?” Kii asked, gesturing to where her right arm would be, as she handed the box to Rie.
“No problem, Kii-kun!” Rie smiled, opening the box. “Ooh, shiny!” Rie pulled Kii’s replacement arm out of its box, letting it dangle in her hand!
“TRISH!” Rie cried, looking down at Kii’s new arm with a fake look of horror on her face, reenacting some scene from a manga she liked.
“Be careful with that!” Kii snapped, snatching the arm from Rie’s hands.
“Relax,” Rie said, “I wasn’t gonna drop it.”
Kii attached the new arm to her body and clenched its fist. “Rie-chan,” she leered, “you remember what happened to him after that scene, don’t you?” she asked, alluding to whatever manga Rie had referenced mere moments ago. Kii threw her head back and laughed loudly. “Just kidding,” she winked, hitting the button for the ground floor.
Rie nervously laughed. “G-Good one, Kii-kun.”
DING!
———
As night fell on the streets of Niijigoku City, the streetlights and the full-Moon illuminated the bustling town center. Once again, two young men, human and youkai, were quarrelling on the sidewalk.
“Kentarou, please!” Daisuke pleaded.
“Nuh-uh!” Kentarou stuck his tongue out, “This one’s mine now, too!”
Suddenly a large shadow enveloped both individuals. They looked up to the large wolf that loomed over them.
“Hey, doggy!” Kentarou greeted it, tossing Daisuke’s toy onto the road to his right. “You lost? Where’s your owner?”
The wolf snarled, bearing its fangs at Kentarou, causing Daisuke to run off in the other direction immediately.
“Grow-up, Daisuke-kun!” Kentarou called back, “Quit acting like a child!” “What a baby!” Kentarou scoffed. “Hey, quit snarling, I won’t bite!”
The wolf narrowed its eyes, raising a paw as its claws extended. Kentarou stared at the paw, as a single bead of sweat rolled down his face.
“H-Hey, nice d-doggy…” he stammered, turning to run in the other direction.
The wolf looked to Luna and let out a loud howl, as if begging every nearby person to look at it and…
CRUNCH!
3RD NIGHTMARE OVER
