Chapter 83: Ice Cream Melts

Jyn and Kalender had gone the whole of five steps away from the blacksmith’s when Jyn said, “Do you happen to be craving for ice cream right now?”

Kalender chuckled. “If you want some, just say so!” Where had the thrifty Jyn gone, he wondered? Well, after several weeks of venturing into the Monster Wall, not as recruits, but as regular Company members, they were swimming in more cash than they knew to do with.

They made their way to the parlor, where the usual old lady greeted them. “Two vanillas?” she asked, deciding to play a guessing game this time—one in which she had a 90% chance of winning.

Jyn and Kalender eyed each other for a moment and nodded. They chuckled at that, and the old lady got dragged into their energy, chuckling at their little interaction, too.

While she prepared the two’s orders, they sat right beside each other, by the table under the corner window.

... And there was a strange air between them.

Jyn wasn’t speaking much. In fact, she’d straightened her back, and her hands were dutifully placed on her lap, all the while her eyes were refusing to meet Kalender’s.

He didn’t even need to use Interpersonal Bubble on this one.

“Are you thinking about something?” Kalender asked.

“Not especially, no,” Jyn replied, still not looking at him. Her eyes were tracking the ice cream that was coming to their table, actually—a convenient excuse, if nothing else.

Soon, two glasses of vanilla ice cream landed on their table. “Enjoy it while you can,” the old lady said with a grin, going back to her puzzles behind the counter.

‘While you can’? Kalender stared at the old lady, and the old lady looked up from behind the counter and stared back. Gosh darned old ladies and their conversational acrobatics.

He looked back at Jyn and she was taking her time, enjoying every last teaspoon of the good stuff—well, enjoying it as much as she could, anyway. The tension was evident in her eyes.

Now, Kalender was someone honest towards himself, which was why he could freely think: “This is definitely a marriage proposal.” Such things didn’t have to be a big event, after all. All it was, at its core, was a question.

He had his reasons for suspecting that today was her D-day. Jyn had been acting...clingy for the past few weeks, but not like a maiden in love. It was more of the “in order to ensure 100% arrow protection coverage, please never leave my embrace” kind.

It was cute at first, and then mildly amusing—and now straight-up concerning. Kalender had been meaning to talk to her about it, as well as many other things, but...it just had to be in this kind of context, huh?

After a long, tense struggle with the last bite of ice cream, Jyn quietly set the teaspoon in her now-empty glass...and scraped out the tiny puddle of melted ice cream from the bottom.

As a knight who had faced worse odds...no, that wasn’t right. These were the worst odds she had ever faced in her entire life. There was no moment prior to this that had ever been more terrifying and nerve-wracking.

Instead of the possibility of losing her life, she now faced the possibility of rejection. At least by meeting death on the battlefield, her soul could seek Minimine’s comfort. What about if Kalender rejects her, tells her he still needs more time to consider it?

To her, there was no time like the present. It was true that they still had a mission to accomplish, and death was around every corner. Even if Minimine was there to keep them from being dead for too long, it wasn’t possible for her to bring them back from a death inflicted by a god—the world’s enemy, no less—and one whom Kalender had sworn to defang by fighting the Curse plaguing the land.

They may well and truly die.

Instead of waiting for that moment to come, Jyn wanted to express everything she felt about Kalender. It wasn’t a simple kind of love like a naive maiden who’s only come of age. She truly felt comfort in his presence, a comfort that she had absolutely never felt before. He was her oasis. To protect it was her nature.

It just wasn’t enough for her to tell him these things with words. The only thing that could possibly communicate what she felt towards him in its entirety was to offer a lifetime of devotion, no matter how long or short that life might be.

After a long silence, Jyn finally charged into the fray. “Kalender,” she started. He turned to face her, his hand supporting his chin, relaxed as if it was any other ice cream raid.

“I’ve made my choice,” she continued. “I have no other way to express what I feel about you. Please...marry me.”

Her voice trailed off at the end there. Kalender could still infer what she’d said, but he wanted to be absolutely sure that she was absolutely sure. “Sorry?”

“Kalender, please marry me,” she said almost immediately, with a clearer conviction.

He regarded her for a moment, but also thought about himself. He’d been avoiding this topic, as well, and if he were to give her an ambiguous answer, it would also be a slap in the face of their relationship.

The problem was, all he had were ambiguous answers. All he could was talk about his feelings and hope that Jyn could help him get through his own slog—rely on her, really.

“I feel afraid,” he said, “and I also feel like...I haven’t been treating you as well as I should.”

She didn’t expect to hear that. “What do you mean? You’ve been so kind to me.”

“What’ve we been doing for the past few weeks?”

“That’s... We’ve been supporting each other, haven’t we?”

“Expeditions, training, expeditions, training—dinner, ice cream, and sleeping in-between.” Kalender sighed. “Sorry, I just—I’ve been so caught up with things that I’ve been taking things for granted.”

Jyn could only stare at him and his frown. She never thought she’d see his frown. “What do you mean?”

“You’re always sticking with me that I sometimes forget how it feels when you’re not there.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

Kalender shook his head. “If I forget that ‘you’re someone I can lose,’ then I’ll end up acting like ‘I’ll never lose you,’ and if I do that...I’ll stop trying to look for you. I’ll start to think, ‘Oh, I’ll always see her tomorrow,’ putting off time we can spend together today for tomorrow. Memories of the time we spend together will slip more easily if that’s going to be my mindset—and that’s not good.

“One day, you’ll be gone, and I won’t be able to remember anything about you.”

His pained expression burned itself in Jyn’s eyes—and this was also the first time she grasped what burdens they had both been carrying all this time.

“I’m not sure I understand you fully,” she said, nevertheless hoping to share his burden, “but I am also afraid. Every time we go into that jungle, I am afraid of losing you. You’ve been so kind to me that I simply have no other way to repay you than with my whole life” —

“You don’t have to” —

“But it is how I feel.”

That shut Kalender up.

“I feel home around you,” Jyn continued, turning away in embarrassment before saying, “You have made me feel free...and happy.”

Her words carried weight that Kalender found resting on his heart—and then he found tears trickling down his cheek. He didn’t know where they were from. There was elation at her confession, but also anxiety and the pressure of the world bearing down on them both—but still, he found himself in a sanctuary right beside this person.

His sniffle caught Jyn’s attention. The moment she turned to look at him was also the moment he buried his face in Jyn’s shoulder.

“That’s unfair,” he managed to say.

Now he really needed to come to a decision.