In the shadowy corner of a busy café, four young men sat with grim faces, as a tense air hung between them. The bustle of the world surrounding didn’t reach their table, but they were unmistakably perceptive of any approaching steps, and immediately hushed their words when any oblivious passer-bys neared.

Sensing the coast was clear once more, a resolute voice sounded from one of the young men.

“...If we truly decide to go ahead with this, there’s a chance whoever is chosen won’t be able to return to the life they once lived.”

Various expressions lined the faces of the others before he continued.

“We have all done our best to make sure we weren’t followed here, but out there… our champion must be swift like the wind, and as quiet as a winter’s night. Enter casually, obtain the goods without suspicion, and leave without a passing glance.”

To the four of them, it seemed an impossible task.

“Whoever goes will be a hero to us all, but we must decide. To whom will this burden fall?”

The group glanced between each other until they finally rested on one person - the one who had been the most vocal and had positioned himself as their leader in this endeavour.

“Wait, not me though! I don’t want to do it!”

His sophisticated and sombre façade immediately cracked, and he leapt to his feet, slamming his hands on the table.

“You sure changed your tune fast… I mean, you’re the one who wants it most though, right?”
“Indeed, ‘tis only fair for the orchestrator to bear the heaviest duty.”

Even his stolid friend beside him nodded silently.

“I thought for sure we’d vote for Yuuji!”
“Huh!?”

Desperate, he pointed his finger directly at the person in front of him, who leaned forward with a jolt. His deep brown eyes blinked briefly in shock before he recovered his typical sharp composure.

“Why would you vote for me!? This was all your idea!”
“Well Baozi wouldn’t do it, so it was you or Akil!”

Mitra gestured frantically towards his friends, trying his best to convince them to change their minds, but to no avail. His handsome face and defined features were powerless here, and they twisted more and more as he grew despondent.

“Myself? Perish the thought. Should I be caught in such a scandal, my name would be forever tarnished.”
“Akil’s right, our names would be tarnished.”
“Well, what about my name!?”

An awkward silence fell over the table as they each shared forlorn looks, before facing Mitra once more.

“It’s already…”
“Irrevocably…”
“...”
“STOP! Don’t say anymore!”

He collapsed forward, covering his ears with his hands.

“Fine, fine! I’ll do it! It’s all for the sake of the ‘Lonely Mens' Club’!”

As he roared his proclamation, the group finally realised they had long abandoned their muted words, and most of the café was now staring in awe at their charade. Even so, the decision was done - it was time for action.

With fresh determination, the group made their way to their destination. They did their best not to stand out, but for the most part, their hearts were pounding, and they were closing in on their goal.

“This is it…”

Mitra gulped as he stared down the gate to his destiny.

“We’ll wait here and keep watch. Break a leg.”
“Sally forth my good man. Once more into the breach!”

Even Wang Bao gave an encouraging thumbs up, and Mitra took a deep breath before stepping through the automated sliding doors, entering a world of air conditioning and pre-packaged merchandise.

“Welcome.”

The store clerk greeted him unenthusiastically, as he gave a small nod before skirting down the side aisles.

His gait was robotic, and he could feel the sweat on his forehead, but after catching a glimpse of his friends eagerly watching from outside, he knew he couldn’t quit here.

After what felt like an eternity, he arrived.

“Shangri-La…”

After a moment’s lapse, he snapped out of his confusion and quickly grabbed the closest item he could see. One or two miscellaneous goods were thrown in for cover, and he turned heel to make his way to the checkout.

He was almost there: only a few more moments and he’d be a free man.

“...Hi. Is this everything?”
“Y-Yes.”

His dreary-eyed clerk scanned the items in front of him, naturally stopping on the coveted contraband that had been poorly hidden amongst the rest.

“I’ll need to see some ID.”
“O-Of course, right, ID…”

It was an entirely natural request, but in his short-sighted fixation on his goal, he’d totally dismissed this as a possibility. Desperately fumbling his wallet in his hands, he passed over an ID card, which the clerk eyed suspiciously for a moment before relenting and continuing on.

The butterflies finally escaped Mitra’s stomach, as he gratefully tossed everything into a bag to be safely hidden away.

Feeling accomplished, he gave a smug glance towards his friends, but through the window, his trusty entourage was no more. When he would look back on this moment, he swore he saw cartoon dust clouds left by their speedy exit, but it was already too late for him.

“...Mitra?”
“Oh no.”

The worst-case scenario.

Before him, shopping basket in hand, was his sister.

******

“You three are unbelievable! Have you no shame!?”

In front of the Phoenix Academy student dorms, Yuuji, Mitra and Akil knelt in a seiza pose while being accosted.

“Mitra, damn you. Where’s your sense of camaraderie!?”
“Truly, the blade of betrayal bears the sharpest sting.”
“You abandoned me! It’s just desserts!”

Wang Bao simply shook his head at their bickering, leisurely resting on a nearby bench as he witnessed Hema’s one-sided verbal beatdown.

“Mitra is one thing, but you two as well!?”
“H-Hey, isn’t that a bit mean..?”
“It was his idea.”
“Indeed, the mastermind was none other than Mitra.”
“...”
“Et Tu, Baozi!?”

Hema turned her head to Wang Bao, who gave a small nod to confirm their words and sign Mitra’s death warrant. He’d already received the full brunt of the heat from his sister on the way back, but even roping his accomplices in hadn’t let him off the hook.

“Even if you’re interested in stuff like this, outside of the island you’re still students of Phoenix Academy. Learn some self-control like Baozi, and act accordingly!”
“That’s not fair, Master Baozi is superhuman.”
“It’s a natural interest for young men, don’t stunt our development!”
“The exploration of unfamiliar literature is a noble ambition…”

Naturally, the item Hema had gripped in her hand was a magazine displaying pictures of various promiscuous women engaging in sexual or otherwise erotic acts.

Also known as a porn mag.

“Ugh, just use your phones or something! Don’t pull this kind of thing wearing our academy uniform!”
“I humbly repent my sins.”
“I don’t! We can’t find these on Helios, so we had to make a move before leaving America!”
“Umu. Restricting written matter is a heinous injustice. Some things one must take into one’s own hands.”

Yuuji aside, Hema gave a blank stare at the other two who remained steadfast in their offence.

“I’m burning this.”
“...I understand.”
“Stop! How could you do this!?”
“You villain!”

Despite their best efforts, the ‘Lonely Mens' Club’ had been thoroughly defeated.