“Hehe~, see you tomorrow!”
“Mmm, I’m sleepy… see ya, Yuu~.”
“Then get some sleep, and don’t stay up playing games. See you tomorrow.”

Yuuji saw off both girls with a smile as they went their separate ways. Hibiki waved widely as she headed up the stairs towards her dorm room, while Ji-Hye dragged her heels as she yawned while stumbling towards her den in the basement of the building.

They had been dating for a few days now, and everything still felt a little complicated. Despite his puzzled thoughts it felt pleasant just being with them, so he didn’t dislike it at all, but he couldn’t help wondering in the back of his mind if everyone went through these kinds of emotions.

“Guess my case is a little unique…”

Mumbling to himself, he scratched his ear as both of his girlfriends disappeared out of sight. He didn’t have anything planned for the evening, but now that they’d finished class for the day a relaxing night to himself sounded quite refreshing - he could even head over to Le Nid D'Oiseau and soak up the calming atmosphere if he really wanted a treat.

The idea settled in his head as he made up his mind, joyfully looking forward to sipping coffee in peace while collecting his thoughts. Conrad may even show up as well for an added surprise, which would give him someone to chat with about the complexities of life.

Making his way to his dorm room, once again he was surprised at how much he’d changed. He still kept up his meditation and training, but it no longer dominated his life, and he made sure to enjoy the little things wherever he could find them. Unlike his youth, few nights would be spent reading old religious scripts and performing menial chores for self-discipline, and it was like a whole new world was open to him.

It hadn’t even been half a year since he joined Phoenix Academy - how many new experiences would he discover as time went on?

“-!?”
“Got him! Hold tight, he’s feisty!”

Suddenly, the moment his hand touched his dorm room door, a black bag was thrust over his head, and his arms were grabbed and held behind his back. Yuuji instinctively kicked out at first, but soon reluctantly stiffened up, and allowed his kidnappers to lead him to whatever destination they had in mind.

‘Be careful what you wish for...’

Sighing to himself, the thought stuck in his mind. The travel wasn’t long at all - in fact, they walked for less than a minute before he was brought to a room somewhere, and tied into a wooden chair while his vision was still obscured.

“There we are. This is all for the sake of justice!”
“...Mind telling me what this is all about?”

As Yuuji begrudgingly questioned the assailants, the vocal one jolted in surprise and shouted at another.

“Wha-! You didn’t gag him!?”
“Naturally. No such decree was given.”
“Well why the hell did you think I bought the gag in the first place!?”
“To enjoy some form of lecherous debauchery for which you endeavour to partake?”

Yuuji’s head hung low as his eyebrows twitched on hearing the ridiculous conversation. Things weren’t going to get better at this rate, so he decided he might as well make an effort on his end.

“Baozi, you’re there right? Could you take this bag off my head?”
“...”

There was a brief shuffling sound before the sack was gently removed, and before him stood his large friend with an apologetic smile. The kind giant was almost always roped into these sorts of shenanigans, and even though he couldn’t be held completely unaccountable, Yuuji didn’t blame him for the inconvenience at all.

The room was very similar to his own, but the clear exception was the decorations that lined the walls. Various posters of beautiful women and models had been pinned up with the utmost care, and the shelves were filled with books such as ‘Finding The Perfect Match’, ‘Flirting For Dummies’ and the like.

Finally, he turned his attention to the other two morons, who were still bickering about pointless details, totally oblivious to the fact that their prisoner had just been given his sight back.

“Can we get this over with? I was just looking forward to a nice quiet evening.”
“Huh!? How did you-? Baozi why did you take the bag off before we put our hoods up!?”

Mitra was flustered as he berated his partners in crime, and the three of them stood in dark robes akin to cliché cultist clothing, except their hoods were down, leaving their faces fully exposed. In an act of frighteningly poor criminal competence, his irritatingly good looks were on grand display, though they had made so many mistakes that at this point the blunder didn’t even make a difference.

“I know your voices, you idiots. Plus, even if you try to walk around the building so that I wouldn’t know where we are, I don’t need to have my eyesight to know when we’ve gone in a big circle.”

It was the first time Yuuji had ever been kidnapped, though that would be a very generous title for the charade unfolding before him. Nevertheless, his instincts which had been sharply trained through countless battles with demons wouldn’t be fazed by such a childish prank, and he could tell there was no real malicious intent only a few moments in.

“Fine! We’ll do this the hard way! Ishitake Yuuji, you are being put on trial for the crime of betraying the LMC!”
“I never joined in the first place!”

Being part of a group called the ‘Lonely Mens’ Club’ would already raise some eyebrows, not to mention that the entire existence of the group was for Mitra’s loveless woes to be shared with unwilling companions. Looking past that, one of the original members had been in a committed relationship the entire time, and the other had already made clear that he had no interest in physical romance, so it was a doomed idea from the start.

“Is it true that you not only began a romantic relationship behind our backs, but in fact, are dating two girls simultaneously!?”
“E-Err…”

That point was hard to deny. Saying it was behind their backs was disingenuous as he had always intended to tell his friends, but he had worried about a situation just like this one unfolding, and it had fallen by the wayside during the thrill of his new experiences.

“The defendant has been found guilty of being a lucky bastard! Punishment is death!”
“Hold on, hold on!”

Despite Mitra being the clear active ringleader in this case, Akil was firmly nodding beside him in a concerning majority vote. He would never normally care for such ‘frivolous trite’, but the gleam in his ebony framed glasses showed he was serious.

“Akil, what’s gotten into you!? Don’t go along with his stupid ideas!”
“Nay, for I stand tall alongside my ally, despite his recreant behaviour.”
“If you know he’s acting out of line don’t follow along!”
“Hahaha, see? See? The LMC are steadfast! You can’t turn us against each other, Yuuji!”

Mitra cackled menacingly before the group, seemingly abandoning any pretence of not being the villain of this situation. Throughout his evil laugh, Yuuji managed to catch a glimpse of something that made him gasp.

By Akil’s side was his trusty satchel bag, which was even more bursting at the seams than before. Peeking out of the top was a thick brown sleeve - the exact kind that was often used to secure and preserve old rare books.

“You paid him off!”
“That’s right! And he leapt at the chance!”
“...A first-edition masterpiece is undoubtedly a priceless artefact. Taking a mere hostage or two is incomparable in measure.”
“That’s a dangerous line of thought!”

Yuuji gritted his teeth, knowing that there was no longer any hope to get the book maniac on his side. For the future, he would need to keep some valuable literary pieces in reserve in case of emergencies like this one, but at this point he needed to find another route to freedom.

Cold sweat lined his brow as he desperately racked his brain. He was still tied to the chair, so there wasn’t a chance of trying to make a dash for the door, and if he stood any hope at all it would surely be from beating Mitra at his own game.

“Your Honour! I call Wang Bao to the stand!”
“Muhahaha! Very well, let’s see what you have planned!”

As always, Mitra’s pride would surely be his downfall, as he relished being in the position of power and eagerly awaited Yuuji’s struggle for freedom instead of simply denying the request. Wang Bao smiled wryly as he saw Yuuji’s descent into the same madness he so openly rallied against just minutes earlier, but he still moved to the front of the group regardless.

“Mr Wang, is it true you are still currently in a committed long-term relationship?”

He nodded.

“Is it not also true that you used your experience to assist me on my recent date?”

He nodded once again.

“Would you say, in your opinion, that you could help even the most hopeless, desperate specimens?”
“Objection! This information is irrelevant and also hurtful!”

Mitra slammed his hand on the kitchen counter in lieu of a court gavel, as tears lined his eyes from the stinging words that were unsubtly being launched his way.

“Let me finish! As someone who benefitted first-hand from the provided information, I propose that Mr Wang hold a Lonely Mens’ Club seminar on romance, using my situation as a case study!”

It was a wild bet, but Yuuji had to take it. He had to somehow sway the jury (his friends) while also showcasing his own value to avoid severe sentencing (get untied).

And it looked to be working.

“A seminar… and this worked for you?”
“Undoubtedly, it played a huge part in making my date successful.”
“Show off more, bastard!... But this is interesting. I accept this deal! Bailiff! You may release him.”

Mitra leaned back as if reclining into a seat, as Akil nodded his head and began untying Yuuji’s restraints. Somehow, he had managed to escape by the skin of his teeth, and all he had to do was throw the most amicable of his friends under the bus. Yuuji shook Mitra’s hand to solidify their agreement, as the curtains closed on the idiotic ordeal.

Naturally, having the quiet and reserved Wang Bao host a conference without asking for his consent was a disaster, but that was a story for a different time.