Marilyn Monroe once said

                      'Imperfections are beauty, madness is genius

                       and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring'

A truly beautiful quote but I wonder if dying due to a heart attack while shitting counts as ridiculous situation or not. I mean, why while shitting? Did I apply too much pressure?

This is too embarrassing man! I feel like dying!

Wait aren't I already dead?

And come to think of it, there is also a saying that everything that happens in the afterlife is due to our own karma.

I am pretty sure that I have lots of good karma though so why is it that the first sight I was greeted with was woman with a 'I AM FROM HELL' written in big letters on her suit.

"Because it makes easier to explain things."

"Oh so that's why.."

I think it's a joke but this woman's face looks a little too serious for it to be a joke. It looks so serious that I am afraid of asking! Damn it! And how did she even know my doubts, can she read people's minds?

"No, but your face is much easier to read than others. It is completely open."

And she's even insulting me right now!

"Anyways, let me explain again from the very start. You were actually not supposed to die here, your death was an unfortunate..... accident. The person assigned to observe your fate was a newcomer and got a little shy while watching you po@p. So he overlooked for a moment and you died due to a heart attack. That is the summary of your death, if you have accepted it then we will proceed with the compensations."

Woah, this girl just said po@p with a straight face, didn't she? No, that wasn't important! More importantly..

"You're telling me there was someone watching my complete life! Even my *cough* chuunibyou days..."

The woman said nothing but I already got the answer.....F#!@ that's my dark history!

"Actually we do have a privacy policy but the situation was a bit of an emergency so... anyways as compensation, you will be allowed to reincarnate in a different world."

"No, wait It is your fault that I died right? So can you just not revive me again?"

"Unfortunately things do not work that way and with that  the explanation is over so please get ready to depart."

"Another world huh, that's great. So what are the benefits that I get? can you show me the contract?"

I think I am accepting it a little too easily but what can I do? The past is the past right.

I was sure that I was definitely make a shit-like grin right now. Huhu what to do, I just found something unbelievable! A reincarnation.

I'll bargain as much as I can.

The woman though was as stoic as ever.

"I think you are misunderstanding something"

Then the woman suddenly snapped her fingers, a portal appeared and started swallowing me.

I shouted in rage and astonishment "F#!@ What about the tips or my cheat damnit! A contract? Anything? How can you... you..AAaaaaaaa"

The last thing I heard was that damn icy voice muttering "This was our mistake so we can't make a legal contract" or something.

Fu*k!

I died in this world while shi!ting, you know? And this woman here was sending me to survive in a completely unknown world?

This is why my mother told me that devils are liars. I am sorry Mom I should have listened to you...sniff..

And that damn devil of hell..

I'll definitely pay you back!

Definitely!

****

The woman looked at the portal that slowly disappeared and sighed.

'He was certainly a strange man.'

In fact, the situation itself was a little too strange. His death, the communications suddenly stopping, how he reacted and a lot more. But she knew that he was a genuine.... fool? At least none of his actions were deceptive. 

'Still it's good that we could bury this incident safely.'

The situation worked in her favor, a little too much, but it was fine.

'Come to think of it, there was another person sent to that world some time ago.'

It should be fine.

As such the woman forgot about the matter and went back.

She had a lot of work to do.

****

"AAuuuu...auu.."

The revenge that I swore I would never give up..

"Omph!...hehe.."

I forsake it in two days.

"Our daughter, look how cute she is! "

Oh, I wasn't the daughter they were talking about.

"Yes, I am glad the bloodline could continue, Bertus."

To be precise, The one speaking' aouuu' and 'Omph' isn't me but the body was the same.

"Bloodline does not matter, she is the product of our love, Tana."

That's right, I was sharing this little body with this little soul, that is, their daughter.

Two souls in one body, that was my—no 'our' condition.

"You were always there for me."

And this Damn cringy atmosphere filled with love is killing me!

AAhhhhhh...

Why me?