“This one is, Cai Xuefang. Elder of the mighty Dark Gate Palace.”

Yin Hu froze and looked up to stare directly into the eyes of the old man.

He was so fucked.

“Our Patriarch Zi Zhen is a mighty warrior that named our cult after the gates of Death. An apt name for the destruction he could cause.”

The threat and hidden meaning behind it flew over his head. Cai Xuefang was afraid of him and brought up the mightiest figure he could name.

Yin Hu nodded, zoning out his words.

From the fire into the pot of sizzling fucking oil. How the hell do I keep getting into these situations.

He decided to take a bite of the powdery treat to hide his nerves–

Yin Hu closed his eyes. Unbeknownst to him, the world froze. The fog inched away. The sky darkened. A figure appeared behind him.

Cai Xuefang lost all the blood from his face. He looked up.

The eyes and mouth, galaxies filled with endless power stared back. The figure towered over them with a wrathful promise of eternal suffering.

The world cried a mournful thing. The clouds sang an orchestra of doom.

The end was nigh…

Yin Hu spat out to the side. He snarled for the first time and wouldn’t even deign the table before him with a look. He grabbed the cup of tea and tried to wash out his mouth.

He nearly puked.

Fuck!

He roared in his head and closed his eyes.

The figure behind him roared to match him. Silent. It raised a might fist. Prepared a strike so powerful, more Qi and energy than Cai Xuefang had ever seen even in the greatest battles at the borders.

He resigned himself to death.

The fist began to drop like a meteor. There was no escaping when everything would no longer exist anyways.

Yin Hu let out the lungful of air he was holding.

Why is this happening?! Did someone curse me? Did I live a criminal life and this was all bad karma? Was this retribution for picking on the grandma that lived next to me?! Why, dear God?

He took a calming deep breath. Channeled the eons of meditation and centered himself. He found stoic balance. Things have not changed. He would eventually find heavenly ingredients. They had to exist. The future was still there to look forward to.

Momentary suffering is only natural for easy living in the future.

Am I in a torture simulation?

But he eventually recognized a simple fact. The rice had fucked him more than he could have possibly imagined. It had ruined his taste buds. He recalled Xinyi called it Heavenly rice. He just needed to find heavenly cake, meat, chocolate, coffee, and every dish he could think of.

He let out a defeated sigh.

Behind him, the fist had frozen above them. So close, yet so far away. The figure bristled with unadulterated rage then disappeared. The world returned to its natural course. The fog rushed back into its original place. The sun began to shine. And the world acted like nothing had happened.

Cai Xuefang pale face slackened, unable to move. He was the only witness to what could have been the end of the world as they knew it. There he was throwing around hidden threats and nearly caused the apocalypse.

Yin Hu had calmed down, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t voice his opinion. This was the hill. Here he would die a thousand deaths to Gate palaces, forts, and fucking cities too. Blue, green, bright, dark, fuck them all.

Don’t fuck with his food. Or he would die fighting.

He huffed. “Terrible. Has the world fallen so low?”

“We have shamed ourselves, Ancient One.” Cai Xuefang lowered his head.

“Trash.”

Cai Xuefang would not dare to raise his head. But, Yin Hu was happy with the outcome. He was afraid the man would be dead set on his ways. It was good to be able to learn and develop as a person. Especially when it came to the culinary world.

What could have been nauseating one day, could turn into a culinary masterpiece in just a few short years.

Yin Hu also attributed it to his Ancient Master persona. The eons of loneliness had allowed him a tonne of time to perfect it. It was so convincing, even this strong cultivator fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

Cai Xuefang looked away suddenly with wide open eyes. It was clear he wanted to run somewhere urgent. “It seems the spar between our younger generations has come to a conclusion. Pardon my departure.”

Yin hu harrumphed. He overplayed his disappointment.

Shit sweets and shittier tea. Let him suffer for a second.

The man seemed ready to jump out of his seat at a moments notice. Without holding him any longer, he waved him away.

Cai Xuefang disappeared in a gust of wind.

He gulped. Then released a long breath. The guy literally blinked out of existence. At any moment the guy could have separated his shoulders from his head, but his persona had kept him alive.

That only reinforced his decision to fake it till he made it.

Yet, even that thought couldn’t help his bubbling proud look. He stared down at the filth on the table. With overt aggressiveness–he had to let some frustrations out of his body–he grabbed the cloth under the food and pulled everything into the air.

With a snap of his finger the plates, cups, utensils, and an empty teapot disappeared into his rice bag. With it went the luxurious tablecloth, it looked worth more than what the entire bandit town could afford.

The filth he had called delights just moments ago splattered on the ground. He couldn’t help but spit at them in spite.

He then surveyed the prize of the night. The chairs and table. Guess he hadn’t come out of the exchange empty handed after all. This was a perfect start to his dreams of luxury. He could already imagine the perfect scene.

Maybe a lounging chair version of this.

With a nod, he turned and started running in the general direction of where Cai Xuefang had hinted the fight had occurred. With the way the man reacted, it seemed like Xinyi faced a small punk she slapped around.

Young masters were notoriously blind to their weaknesses after all.

WalkingWreckingCrew

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