-Chapter 5: Someone New-

We had just sat down in Anna's car. She hadn't even started the engine when she turned to me;

"Hey, are you hungry?"

My stomach had been aching a bit, though I had been too distracted to pay it any mind.

"Yeah. I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday."

"Then that makes two of us. Whaddya wanna eat?"

"I dunno," I shrugged, "Food?"

"Great! We're going to McDonald's. We can go through the drive-thru and eat at my place."

There was a McDonald's about a mile from Anna's apartment, though that's not saying much; there's a McDonald's about a mile from anything, anywhere. I ordered a cheeseburger, some fries, and a large cup of coffee. I really needed the caffeine if I was gonna be remotely functional. Once we got the bags, I became acutely aware of how hungry I actually was. French fry grease had never smelled so good. It took every ounce of my willpower not to gorge myself right there in the car. Fortunately for my stomach, it only took a couple minutes for us to get back to her place.

The facilities were nice. The four buildings were all three stories tall, and five apartments wide. It was an apartment complex I'd driven by plenty in the past, often thinking it would be a nice place to live. We parked and took the elevator up to the third floor, walking to her apartment on the far left side; number 301. I was grateful we'd gotten there so quickly; I didn't really want anyone to see me in those ugly beige scrubs. Anna unlocked the door, holding it open for me and gesturing like a doorman;

"Ladies first."

I rolled my eyes. She was the only person I knew who'd crack a joke like that after everything that had happened. I couldn't even be mad.

"Seriously? Already?"

She flashed a cheeky grin.

"Too soon?"

I just shrugged.

"Eh…"

If it had been anybody else, I might have been more upset. Anna was always trying to lighten the mood, and she was the kind of person who'd start teasing someone if she liked them; a somewhat problematic trait we both shared. Honestly, her acting like her usual self was more of a relief than anything else. If she'd been uptight or overly cordial, I'd have felt more uncomfortable.

I walked past her, and she pretended to tip an invisible hat.

"Suuuuuch a gentleman."

She stepped in behind me. We took off our shoes at the doorway, and she walked through the living area, opening the curtains. The bright afternoon light illuminated the room, and I took in my surroundings. It was a nice little place; one bedroom, one bath. Most of the apartment had a midcentury modern aesthetic with gray and white walls, tiling, and carpet, with a few burgundy fixtures and the orangeish hues of the kitchen to add some splashes of color. The entryway stood next to the coat closet, as you might expect. There was a kitchen, painted a bit darker than the rest of the room, with spanish style tiling and a matching breakfast bar. She had a decent sized flatscreen and a couple game consoles on top of an entertainment center in the living room. Across from it sat the couch and coffee table, adjacent to a loveseat. Behind the couch, in the corner of the room, was the dinner table, which backed up to the sliding glass door to the balcony. Her apartment had a nice view of the surrounding area (You could even see our old high school from up there.) Looking over the decour, I saw that Anna had hung a few art pieces, along with some posters from a few of her favorite animes. A handful of plants were placed around the room, and although there were still a couple cardboard boxes scattered about, it looked like she'd been settling in well.

Anna swung her arm out, gesturing like a showman;

"Welcome to the Burj-al-Ikea!"

"It looks really nice! It's tasteful and cozy."

"Well, you are in the presence of a professional interior decorator!"

"Mmhmm. Well, you should tell them they did a great job, if you see them anywhere!"

She shook her head in jest;

"You wound me so…"

My stomach growled, and I furrowed my brow at her in a pout;

"Banter later, food now!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

She walked into her bedroom to plug in her phone and drop off her purse before joining me at the breakfast bar. As we ate, we talked about the rest of the day. Anna spoke with half a chicken nugget still in her mouth;

"Oh'kay, sho," she mumbled before swallowing, "First thing's first, we need to get you some clothes. We'll have to get everything; tops, bottoms, underwear, shoes, and maybe a few jackets or something. We should probably get plenty of each, to give you some options. A couple pairs of shoes too. Definitely gonna need a purse. Oh, and maybe some accessories!"

I chewed my bite of hamburger before answering;

"Uh, maybe we can start a bit more modest? I'm not exactly flush with cash here."

"Nah, I'm gonna pay for everything."

I almost choked on my next bite;

"What-?! cough cough You can't do that! That's a shit-load of money!"

"But I want to, and I'm going to. I told you I was gonna help you through this transition, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do."

"But-"

"No if's, and's, or but's! I'm serious about this. So please, just… let me help you, okay?"

I couldn't say no to that. Not when she was being so earnest. And… I really did need help. I could feel myself tearing up again. I'd been doing that a lot lately. Honestly, I didn't deserve this girl. At least, that's how I felt at that moment.

"Okay… and thank you."

She nodded emphatically;

"Good! Now, let's finish eating! We've got a ton of stuff we gotta do!"

We ate our somewhat meager meals, and drank our coffees zealously. Reinvigorated, we cleaned up, and, as I was washing up, Anna placed a hand on my shoulder;

"Now, come with me! There's someone you need to meet!"

I had barely finished drying my hands off when she yanked me to the side, and began to push me through the living room.

"Wh-what?! Who?!"

"You!"

She'd gotten me to the doorway to the bathroom when I stopped, realizing what she meant. I hadn't actually seen what I looked like yet. Sure, I'd glanced down at my body, but seeing my whole reflection was a different picture. I found myself suddenly overcome with a sense of nervousness. For one thing, it did kinda feel like I was meeting someone for the first time, something which always made me feel uneasy. More than that though, seeing myself felt like it would make this whole thing real, somehow. I knew it already was, obviously, but I don't think the reality of the situation had fully sunk in yet. It was like recognizing my reflection would somehow 'lock everything in place.' 

I seized up;

"W-wait, Anna. I… I don't think I'm ready for this. I mean, I know I sound silly, but… can we just do this a bit later?"

Anna squeezed my shoulders, massaging my shoulder blades with her thumbs. She leaned in;

"I know you're nervous, but you've gotta do this. Even if it's uncomfortable. Plus, you're gonna be looking at yourself a ton when we go clothes shopping. So come on, you can do this! I'm right here with you."

She was right. I relaxed my shoulders a bit.

"And, hey," she said playfully, gently bumping her head into the side of mine, "You are very pretty."

That felt strange. My cheeks were warming, and her compliment inspired feelings in me I couldn't make sense of. I'd never been called pretty before. I'd assumed hearing something like that would have made me uncomfortable, but it didn't. Instead, I felt uncomfortable because I couldn't tell how it had actually made me feel.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

I nodded hesitantly. This was happening. I had to face this. I had to face, well, my face. I stepped into the bathroom and up to the mirror. Then… I closed my eyes.

"You know, you can't see yourself if you don't open your eyes."

"I know!"

A few moments of silence,

"Soooo, are you gonna open them??"

"In a second!"

Like I said; toes in the pool, not cannonballs. I took a deep breath. Then another. I inhaled sharply, held my breath, and opened my eyes.

And I saw her. The girl looking back at me. All I could do was stare at her. If I'd seen her out in public somewhere, I would have thought she was… cute. Her features were fine and delicate looking, and her expression was one of innocent curiosity. She had big, expressive eyes; the same light green color I'd always had, with long eyelashes and thin brows. I looked at her nose. It was sort of round at the tip, like mine, but smaller and a bit shorter. Her lips were a touch fuller than mine, but not puffy or anything. She had light, rosy cheeks, and a gently sloping jawline, the tip of her chin ever so slightly softer than mine had been. Her face was framed by long, wavy, light brown locks that stopped a little under an inch above her shoulders, with a mop of bangs covering her forehead, parted to the right side. 

I… I couldn't explain how I felt in that moment. Her hair looked so smooth, and she looked so sweet. I wanted to touch her. But rather than reaching for her, my hand moved up to my own face. My slender fingertips ran over the soft, pale skin of my own cheek, and I watched her do the same. But, of course she did. She was me. There had been some cognitive dissonance, but it was different from the kind I usually felt when I looked in the mirror. That girl was me. I was looking at myself. I knew, intrinsically, that that cute girl in the mirror really was me. It was the strangest feeling, and yet, it just made sense. There was no question. Looking at myself had never made me feel the way I did then, and I couldn't understand it, but that was me.

"Oh my god…" I whispered.

I was transfixed. All I could do was stare at myself, overwhelmed by feelings I couldn't understand. To my right, Anna began to smile;

"One week."

"Huh?" I asked, glancing her way, her voice snapping me out of my trance.

"I give you one week before you realize you love being a girl."

I could feel myself starting to blush;

"H-hey, wait a minute! It's way too soon to be making calls like that!"

"I don't know," she replied, her expression turning to a knowing grin. "I'm pretty good with stuff like this. If we're making this into a bet, I'm pretty confident in my odds."

"I'm not betting anything! And, look, I don't know how I feel, okay? It's just… a lot to take in right now."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't tease you so much."

I shook my head; 

"Hey, it's fine. Honestly I don't mind that much. It's weirdly comforting in a way."

"Good! Then I'll keep pushing those buttons, because it is so much fun!"

I laughed uncomfortably at what was, in effect, a declaration of war. Anna then eagerly grabbed my hand;

"Now, come on! Let's get you out of those rags!"

Dragging me along once again, Anna took me to her bedroom across the hall. She went to the closet, crouching down to look for something in a box. Left standing there by myself, I looked around the room. She had a queen sized bed with white sheets and a light blue comforter, accentuated by a set of string lights hung over the headboard. Wedged in the corner adjacent to the closet Anna was presently rummaging through was a nightstand and lamp. Across the room, running parallel to the entrance was a desk, though the absent computer was likely still at her old place. There was also a wall mounted book shelf, and a small fig tree situated in the corner. The decently sized window perpendicular to her bed shared the same impressive view as the one in her living room, and she'd decorated some of the walls with small art pieces. I, once again, found myself impressed with Anna's aesthetic tastes. 

"I really like your room!"

"Why, thank you."

She was clearly too preoccupied to gloat. Standing up with something clutched in one hand, she walked over to her night stand, grabbing her phone. After a few moments of searching, she nodded to herself, set it down, and turned to face me;

"Alright, now show me your boobs."

"What?!" I shouted, protectively wrapping my hands across my chest.

Smiling mischievously, she held up one hand, loosening her grip and letting a length of measuring tape fall out.

"You need some bras, and unless you feel like explaining to the nice people at the store why a 22 year old woman has no idea what her measurements are, we're better off getting them now."

I sighed, letting my arms drop. Of course, I'd given exactly the reaction she'd wanted. Unable to help it, I found myself blushing, yet again.

"I don't actually need to take my top off, right?"

"I guess not, if you're gonna be no fun," she sighed, rolling her eyes melodramatically.

"Great. What do I need to do?"

"Come over here and turn around, party pooper."

I obliged her, presenting her my back side. Telling me to raise my arms, she wrapped the tape around the area just beneath my breasts.

"Mmm… 32, so that's 36…?"

She then let the tape drop, before wrapping it around the center of my breasts.

"Mind lining that up with your nips?"

My blush deepened, and I whined some noise of acknowledgement before doing so.

"M'kay, so 39…"

She went to her phone, and I let my arms drop, sighing with relief that we were done. She looked at the screen before announcing;

"Looks like you're… a 36c."

She then sighed and slumped her shoulders;

"It's not fair! Why do you get to be smaller than me, but have bigger boobs?!"

I cocked an eyebrow at her. I hadn't exactly spent a lot of time staring at her chest, but they didn't look that different from where I was standing.

"I mean, they're not that much bigger though, right?"

"No…" she pouted. "But it's the principle of the thing!"

I shrugged;

"You'll get over it."

"You could have at least let me see 'em."

I grumbled to myself quietly;

"You never stop, do you?"

"And that's why ya' love me!" she boasted before standing up. "Anyway, let me give you some of my smaller stuff so you can get dressed."

"Yes, please."

She went back to her closet, combing through the clothes on the rack before squatting down to look through some as of yet unpacked boxes. I sat on the edge of her bed, and every few moments, she would toss a random article my way. After a few minutes of playing catch the clothes, we'd put together a basic outfit. She gave me a pair of old chuck taylors that didn't quite fit her any more, and some liner socks. Of the bottoms she'd grabbed, I took a pair of blue denim shorts. She'd gotten me a plain black t-shirt to wear up top. It was a little big for me, but the material was dark enough and thick enough that I wouldn't be walking around flashing my headlights. She also handed me a pair of white cotton panties, and; you know how I used to worry about whether or not Anna was my best friend? Well, if there's a list of things you can do to prove to someone you're their best friend, I feel like letting them wear your underwear has gotta be near the top. 

I was grateful to have some normal clothes. Sure, I wouldn't be walking down the runway with that outfit, but at least I wouldn't look like I'd just been discharged from the hospital. I headed to the bathroom to change. It was as I disrobed that I caught a glance of myself in the mirror, and suddenly realized I hadn't actually seen my whole body yet. So I stopped for a moment, dropping the scrubs to the floor, leaned over the sink, and examined the rest of me. I'd taken the time to look at my face already, so I started there and worked my way down. I looked over my slender neck, and stopped on my shoulders for a moment. I had always had broad shoulders as a guy, and while they were still a little wide, I was shocked to see the way they sloped so gently down into my arms. My thin, lithe arms. I gingerly ran a finger from my shoulder down, marveling at how soft and smooth my skin had become. 

My gaze then shifted to my chest and, to… well, my breasts. I stared at those for a good, long while. They were… nice. I looked at the soft white skin and the rosy pink nipples. I brought my hands up and held them for a second, before giving an experimental squeeze. They were full, but not fat. Firm enough to not really sag, but soft enough to give under even a little pressure. Not too big, and not too small. I'd lucked out. Boobs come in all shapes and sizes, and I'd sort of picked a favorite look back when I was a guy. And now, they were sitting right there, on my chest. I was embarrassed to admit it, but… I liked them. At first, they had been a bit of a source of irritation, and sure, that aspect was still there, but I actually liked them. They were soft, and just the right size for me, and they felt good to touch, and I liked them. I liked having them. And, as weird as it still was, they were… mine. They were new, and still kinda strange to me, but they were also… exciting, and they made me feel good. I don't know if any part of my body had ever made me feel good about myself before.

I shook my head. Focus! I'd let my boobs hypnotize me, but there was more to see! I ran my fingers down my stomach. It was smooth and mostly flat, and… you know that little indent that runs from a person's chest down to their belly button? (Apparently it's called the linea alba, or something.) I don't know, but it seemed more pronounced now, somehow. I'd always thought it looked sorta cute on girls for some reason, and now, I kinda thought it looked cute on me, too. I ran my fingers over my navel, before tracing my waistline to my hip. And there was definitely a lot more hip. I wouldn't say my waist was waspish or anything, but my figure had the very beginnings of an hourglass shape going. I rested my hand on my hips; something that felt a whole lot more natural now that they were so much more pronounced.

My gaze then drifted toward my crotch, and my… vagina. If I had to describe how I felt about my vagina at that point in time, I think the best word would be intimidated. Maybe that's a silly way to feel about your own genitals, but I don't know how else to describe it. It wasn't there one day, then it was there the next. I didn't know how to handle it. I was a virgin, and porn was only so educational; this was the first time I'd seen a vagina since the day I came out of one. And, this one was mine. I hesitantly ran a finger along my outer labia, and shuddered. It was certainly sensitive. I wondered what it would feel like. Of course I wondered what it would feel like. I think just about everyone's wondered what pleasure feels like for the opposite sex at least once in their lives. As a guy, orgasms were always a one then done kind of thing for me, but I'd heard it was very different for women, and sooner or later, I'd find out. But now was certainly not the time to venture down that particular road, and I was nowhere near ready to explore that side of myself yet.

I suppose I should explain my relationship with my sexuality a bit, since I'm on the topic. I wouldn't say I was sex averse by any means, but I was never an exceptionally sexual person. To me, sex was something personal. Not really something to flaunt. Other people could express or advertize their sexuality, and that's normal, but it just wasn't me. Sure, I could talk about it, and I knew what I liked, what got me going, and so on; but it was never really a big part of who I was. 

I don't know if I'd say I had been uncomfortable with my sexuality, but I'd never fully embraced it. I didn't know what that would have even looked like. And now, finding myself in a different body, well… I guess you could say I was afraid of it. My relationship with my sexuality had been somewhat estranged before, but now it was an unknown. I knew what I wanted. I'd only ever really felt attracted to women, and, while it was too early to say for certain, I didn't think that'd changed. But I didn't know what that would look like. What would sex mean for the new me? The prospect of finding out was both exciting and daunting all at once.

I guess the strangest feeling I got from my new equipment then was the absence of mass. It was just so… smooth. All the more important bits were on the inside, and everything on the outside was neatly tucked away. I'd always had something hanging there, and now, nothing. I gently pulled at the lip on one side and stared at the pink folds hidden underneath. It felt… strange. That's really the best word for it. It was just so surreal to think that this was all a part of me. I'd also noticed that I was pretty clean shaven down there. As a guy, I'd never really liked the feeling of my pubes, so I typically kept myself trimmed. There were a few short, light hairs above my mons, but hardly enough to call a bush. I wondered if shaving would be easier or harder now that I'd made the switch.

That thought led to another; I'd have to start shaving my legs! Well, I guess I wouldn't have to, but I'd decided I was going to. And speaking of my legs; I said I liked my boobs, but I think I fell in love with my legs. My slender calves trailed up to soft, round thighs which blended perfectly with my hips. My ankles were slight, looking just right above my dainty looking feet. I cocked my hip to the side and just stared. Leaning over, I ran my palm down the length of my leg, and marveled at how smooth my skin was. I gently squeezed my thigh, loving the feel of the soft, slightly squishy flesh. Yeah, I definitely wanted to keep my legs nicely shaved. That feeling was just too good. When I was male, other guys would always ask, 'are you a tits man, or an ass man?' I never really felt super confident in my answer. Maybe it was my, for want of a better word, shy sexuality, but I never really cared too much about that stuff. Though, looking at myself now, maybe I was a 'legs guy' the whole time.

Speaking of T'n'A, there was one thing I had yet to examine. I turned around and peeked over my shoulder at my reflection. I then found myself idly staring at my own butt. And, uh… it was a cute butt. Soft and full; pale to the point that the cheeks looked almost rosy. I reached back with both hands and gave both cheeks an experimental squeeze. They had just the right amount of give, and the sensation gave me this faint warm bubbly feeling I couldn't help but like. I glanced up and saw my face in the mirror. I was blushing, and had such a serious expression. That combined with the visual of what I was doing made me burst out laughing at myself. I wasn't laughing super hard, but, my god, I looked ridiculous! How could I not laugh at myself? And now I was watching this cute girl in the mirror giggling at herself, and that only made the situation more funny to me. 

After a few moments, I composed myself and took a deep breath. I stepped back a bit to take in the image of my full reflection, and… it was nice. I looked good. Really good. Now, I realize I must sound like some vapid, self afflicted tool by this point. Shit, maybe I am one. But, well, as a guy, there were certain features I'd found attractive in women. And the girl I was staring at in the mirror had pretty much all of them. The only thing was… she was me. I had those features. It wasn't like I felt turned on by myself or anything, but… as a guy, I'd never thought of myself as attractive. At all, really. But now? Now I was looking at myself. And I saw all the things I liked. That girl in the mirror was attractive. I was attractive. For the first time, I actually saw myself as attractive, and it felt… good. I wasn't ready to fully accept what had happened to me, but seeing this cute girl in the mirror and knowing she was me… It really did feel good.

After a few more moments of staring at myself, trying to make sense of what I was feeling, a knock at the bathroom door snapped me out of my trance;

"Oy! Hurry it up in there, Narcissus! We've got shit to do!"

"S-sorry!"

She was right. I lightly slapped my cheeks to focus and went about getting dressed… which was why I went in there in the first place. I stepped into the panties (a pair of hipsters, I would later learn) and pulled them up my legs. Once I had them on, I couldn't help but appreciate the way they felt. The way they clung to my hips, and pressed flat against my crotch, and how soft they were, and… No! No more getting distracted! I pulled up the shorts and buttoned them. A little tight (Anna must have had them from when she was younger) but they fit okay. The t-shirt went on with no issue, obviously. It was a bit big on me, the hem coming down to the very tops of my thighs, and the material felt a bit rough against my nipples, but it was fine. Finally, I was dressed. Not impeccably, but I was dressed.

I was just getting ready to leave the bathroom when I felt a familiar pressure. I had to pee. Time to cross another thing off my 'learning to live as a woman' list, I guess. So, I dropped my pants and sat down on the toilet. I wouldn't be peeing standing up anymore, but… well, it bothered me less than I imagine it would some other guys. With a sigh, I relaxed the same muscles as always, and things seemed to come out without issue. I finished, remembering I'd have to clean myself down there. As I did so, another thought came to me; I'd be getting my period some time soon. I shuddered a bit. That would certainly be a learning experience. But… I'd cross that bridge when I got to it. I got up, flushed, and washed my hands, breathing a little sigh of relief. I don't know why it had worried me so much. Using the bathroom as a girl, it seemed, was fine. Finally done with my business, I picked up the scrubs off the floor, ready to see them in the trash, and opened the door.

I was met by Anna, standing with her arms folded and a look of faux annoyance on her face.

"Finally. Some of us have bladders too, you know."

"I'm sorry! This is still a lot to take in, you know?"

"Ah, I'm just messin' with you," she laughed, elbowing me as she walked into the bathroom. "Lemme finish up in here and get dressed, then we can go."

I headed into the living room, sat on the couch, and slipped on the shoes she'd given me. They were a bit snug, but I liked the look. I laid back, hanging my legs over the arm of the couch, and started idly surfing the web on my phone. Anna finished in the bathroom and went to her room to change. A moment later, I noticed the breeze against my legs, and realized I'd never worn shorts that short before. They weren't even that short, stopping about a quarter of the way down my thighs, but they definitely showed more skin than I was used to. Still, I didn't hate it, and I'd seen girls in college with shorts that covered less than the panties I was wearing. Just another little new experience on the overwhelmingly long list of new experiences I was bound to have in the coming days, weeks, and months.

A couple minutes later, Anna emerged, dressed in a white v-neck tucked into a pair of black shorts, and a pair of gray sneakers. She tucked her phone into her purse, and looked my way with a bit of a smile;

"There's just one more thing before we go."

"What's that?"

"There's nothing wrong with your current name, but I've never met a cute girl named James before. So… what should I call you?"

She was right, I did need to get a name picked out. I'd put it off, but now was as good a time as any. I thought for a moment, but was drawing blanks;

"Shit, I don't know…"

"Well, how about Jamie?"

I shook my head.

"Nah. I remember kids used to call me that to make fun of me in middle school. Plus, it just doesn't feel right. Lemme think for a minute…"

I recalled once asking my parents what they would have named me if I'd been born a girl. I struggled to remember some of the ones they'd listed. Mary? No. Heather? No. Samantha? Nah, not that one either. Hannah? No, I was friends with a Hannah in high school, so it'd be kinda weird. What else? Elise? Jasmine? Lauren? Emily? What about…?

"Sophie."

Anna raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh?"

"I'll be Sophie. It feels… like me."

"Hmmm…"

Anna put her hands behind her back, and took an exaggerated step;

"Sophie…"

She took another step, then two more;

"Sophie… Sophie… Sophie…"

I cocked my head to the side at this unexpected, bizarre ritual.

"Uhm… What are you doing??"

"Memorizing your name!" she announced, twirling in a little circle to face me. "Names are important, and I never want to get yours wrong."

She eyed me up and down, and smiled a gentle, warm smile;

"Sophie Fuller, a lovely name for a lovely young woman~"