After a night of cramming homework and trying to get research done for my part of the project, morning came far too early.

I was smart enough to close the curtains over my bedroom window last night, so at least I wasn’t treated to another blinding wakeup call. Small blessings.

I shut off my alarm and sat up, swinging my legs out of bed. Strangely, my feet didn’t make contact with the floor. 

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked down at myself.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, as usual… but my feet weren’t touching the floor. They always touch the floor when I sit on the edge of my bed.

I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom - or tried to. My boxers promptly slipped and caught around my ankles, sending me crashing to the floor. I put my hands down in time to stop from bouncing my head off the floor, but I felt a sharp pain lance through my chest as I finished my graceful belly flop onto the floor of my bedroom. 

“Shit!” I swore, rolling over to alleviate the pressure, and pressing a hand to my chest. There was a definite tenderness to the area, and I could feel the dull ache and the strange sensitivity. That was new.

It actually felt kinda good, rubbing it like this.

Which I became keenly aware of thanks to my boxers being around my ankles. I quickly got to my feet and tugged my boxers back up.

Weird… usually when I get turned on, Evan Jr. is a little… taller… than that.

Shit, is my dick shrinking too!?

I hurried to the bathroom to check out the damage. My vantage point had definitely shifted again.

I could just barely see my full face in the bathroom mirror, and the face that looked back at me was very different.

My cheeks looked fuller, softer, with slightly higher cheekbones. My eyes were a little bigger, more expressive, I guess? My lips had puffed up a little too, and taken on a lighter pinkish color as opposed to their old sort of muted pink-grey. 

Oh, and my hair had grown out enough to reach my shoulders. Overnight.

What the fuck!?

I felt my heart rate spike as I observed the changes. The person in the mirror looked more like a girl than a guy. 

I stripped off my clothes to see what else had changed, and was alarmed to find a slight puffiness to my chest, and my hips stood out a bit more from my sides, creating a little bit of a dip.

Why the fuck… do I look like a tweenage girl!?

More panicking.

Calm down, Evan. This is totally logical. You can explain this.

My brain searched for any logical explanation.

Zero results found.

Fuck!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! This can’t be happening. People don’t just change sex randomly! We’re not fucking Clownfish! 

My alarm chimed on my phone, the fifteen minute warning. How long had I spent here, transfixed by my changes?!

I’d stay home - but I’m already late on my homework and if I don’t turn it in today I’ll lose points, and I’d ruin my perfect attendance. Fuck! Fuckity fucking fuck fuck! Okay. Shit. I can do this. I can do this. I can just… see if I still have any old clothes from before my growth spurt in my closet! Yeah!

I ran over to my room and dug into the back of the closet. There. A box that was meant to go to the charity shop but dad had been too busy to go.

I dug out a pair of uniform pants and an old button-down and blazer.

This would do for today.

I tugged my khakis on, struggling. They were tight on my thighs, butt, and hips.

Great.

Next came the shirt, which was annoyingly coarse. I’d never noticed before, and it was kind of irritating my nip– my chest. 

I took a quick look in the mirror to make sure I wasn’t having any major wardrobe malfunctions…

And a cute tomboyish-girl looked back at me.

Nope! Nope nope nope. I can’t. I’m not a girl. The person in the mirror is just a boy who needs a haircut.

A boy whose pants make his butt look really girly.

I’d definitely stare at a girl’s butt that looked like that.

I’m staring at my own butt right now.

Fuck, why am I so awkward!? I turned away from the mirror, grabbed some shoes from the back of the closet beside the charity box, socks from my dresser, and bolted downstairs.

I finished dressing myself, and as I laced up my shoes I found myself thinking about Haru. How he’d seemed… off… yesterday. 

I pulled out my phone and sent a quick message on Discord.

[Are you changing?]

Wait, that sounds like I’m asking if he’s changing clothes.

[Phrasing. I meant is your body changing?]

Nailed it. That’s not weird or creepy at all. You totally didn’t just alienate a new friend by being weird.

He messaged back as I internally berated myself.

[Yes. I think it has to do with that kitten I saved.]

Shit. So it’s not my imagination, he was acting weird - and probably changing too. Is that kitten behind my changes, too!? It ran right under my desk… and that’s when all this started, right? And then yesterday I pet it and now it’s worse!

[Okay. We’re going back to the cafe today. Those girls seemed to know what’s going on.]

He reacted with a thumbs-up emoji, which was good enough for me.

I grabbed my jacket - which was now laughably oversized on me, great - and ran out the door with a hastily obtained pack of pop-tarts in hand.

I found them to be entirely unsatisfying and flavorless.

Great, so that trend was continuing.

I got several weird looks from the other regulars at the bus stop - many of which were taller than me, now. 

That was a weird realization.

When you’re a kid and everyone is bigger than you, it’s normal. You’re a kid. Of course they’re bigger. But as a late teen heading into young adulthood, suddenly being shorter than people that already bullied you is way, way worse. I felt a deeper level of insecurity than I have in a long time. I felt… vulnerable?

It wasn’t pleasant.

I suffered through the stares and laughs as I rode to school, and I was all too happy to find the relative safety of first period, sinking into Haru’s seat again.

My jaw dropped when I saw him come into the classroom. 

He was wearing a skirt.

Our school policies allow for people to mix and match uniform pieces based on their gender identity, or just how they feel like dressing that day.

Seeing guys in skirts had been a change for sure when I first got here, but I’d kinda gotten used to it.

But Haru had always been a pants kinda guy. Why the sudden change to a skirt?

And why did it look like he was smuggling something under his beanie?

Wait, did they just twitch?

What the…

He looked a little shorter today, too… but it was hard to tell since he was actively taller than me now. Or I was shorter than him, I guess.

Fuck.

His cat escaped his bag and took its usual spot on the windowsill. Weird that nobody else ever seemed to notice or comment on the cat.

It wasn’t exactly subtle.

“Uh… Morning, Haru,” I said as he took his seat. 

He plonked his head down on his desk.

“You… alright?” I asked.

“My cat is bullying me,” he groaned.

“Oh…” I mumbled.

What do I even say to that? 

“Let’s just try to make it through the day with no major incidents and hope we get some answers at the cafe after school.”

He nodded against his desk. “Sure… nyo problem.”

There it was again, that quirky vocal tic. 

I really hope I don’t start doing that.

It’s way too cute.

As if everything else wasn’t weird enough, when Mr. Johnston called on him for attendance, he got all awkward and told him that he wanted to be called Miyu now.

Okay then.

 

Classes passed uneventfully, other than the numerous looks I got from teachers and students. My math teacher actually accused me of trying to prank her or something.

I entirely skipped lunch because I didn’t want to field questions about my appearance, and because absolutely nothing smelled appetizing.

If all the rest hadn’t been enough, by the end of the day I had noticed the itching and irritation in my chest had gotten worse, and after a quick trip to the bathroom to unbutton my blazer and check, I found that the… swelling… had gone up quite a bit. It almost looked like I had small breasts. 

Okay, maybe a little more than almost.

Fuck.

I buttoned up the blazer and prayed that the girls at the cafe could tell us what was happening, and how to reverse it.

I didn’t want to be a girl.

I was perfectly happy as a guy! Okay, maybe not perfectly happy because of bullying and body image insecurity, but like, I definitely don’t wanna be a girl!

I hurried to the bus stop to meet with Ha– er, Miyu. If he was as unlucky as me, and was still changing too, he’d probably have a cat tail or something.

Fortunately, no such misfortune appeared to have beset him. 

“Hey,” I said as I approached.

His beanie twitched again and he looked over at me. “H-Hey!” His eyes roamed up and down my body quickly, and I suddenly felt very… insecure? Ashamed? Shy?

My cheeks burned as I folded my arms across my chest. 

Ow!

I lowered them quickly.

Fuck, that hurt!

I realized how girly it must look standing there with my arms folded beneath my chest, and quickly let them drop back to my sides. 

Was I standing like a girl now? Were my hips wider? My pants felt tighter than this morning. Shit! Act like a guy.

No, I am a guy! Ugh, this is confusing.

I hope he can’t tell how fucked up I am.

The bus pulled up, saving me from my awkward introspection.

“L-Looks like this is us,” Miyu stuttered and quickly climbed aboard.

I groaned and followed him, painfully aware of the occasional bump of my hip against the seats as I went down the aisle.

And even more aware of a couple guys around my age looking at my ass as I walked by.

Gross.

 

Thankfully, the cafe was a sanctuary from that kind of crap.

Sachi - the pink haired catgirl - was quick to greet us as we stepped inside. “Welcome! What can we–”

“We need to talk to you,” I insisted, talking over her. “Ada too. Now. Uh, please.”

“You, um… said I could call if I nyeeded help…” Miyu mumbled beside me.

Thankfully the girl wasn’t put off by my rudeness, and simply turned towards the back, calling out: “Ada! Evan and Miyu wanna talk with us!”

“Wha? How did you know?” Miyu asked, looking perplexed.

“Yuki told me,” Sachi said with a smile, as if that explained everything.

Miyu’s cat popped up out of his bag suddenly. “Miyu?” it meowed.

“She… told you?” Miyu asked.

Huh. Kinda weird that he named himself after the sound his cat makes…

Wait, what about this situation isn’t weird?

“What, you haven’t learned Nyanese yet?” Sachi asked.

“Nya… What?” Miyu asked, tilting his head confusedly.

Ada came out of the back with a tray full of drinks. Two of them looked like whatever Miyu had gotten yesterday, while two looked like the “Lilith Special” that I’d gotten yesterday. 

“Come on, let’s grab a table,” she said, guiding us over to a vacant spot.

After a minute of getting situated, I finally popped the most important question we’d come for an answer to.

“So, you two do know what’s happening to us, don’t you?”

“You’re becoming a vampire,” Ada stated simply as she took one of the Lilith drinks and sipped it.

“And you’re becoming a catgirl!” Sachi chimed in eagerly, before pointing at Miyu’s cat. “And she’s a Maneki Neko!”

Oh. Right. Well. That explains everything. Except none of those things are real.

Or I wouldn’t have believed they were a couple days ago.

“You both seem completely convinced that myths like vampires and catgirls and stuff are real…” I braced myself for them to laugh in my face, but brought up my next, more risque idea: “If you believe in all that, then what do you think about the idea that New Haven didn’t even exist a few years ago?”

“That’s right,” Ada nodded. “My dad created it.”

I nearly spat out the sip of my drink I’d just taken, which would have sucked for numerous reasons. Namely I’d have spit my drink all over some cute girls, and secondly, I’d have wasted a really good drink.

“Long story, and to answer your next question, I know you’re a vampire because I’m a vampire. You felt better after you drank this yesterday, right? It’s a passionfruit tea with condensed blood boba. Drink up, unless you want to spend another night being grumpy and having headaches.”

Passionfruit… and… condensed blood boba?

I felt sick.

I wanted to run to the bathroom and puke.

I’d drank an entire serving of blood?

I thought about the few boba I’d sucked up just before this conversation.

I drank more blood just now?!

The most horrifying part was that I really wanted more. Like, right now.

I took another sip. God, they are so good…

Fuck.

I really am turning into a vampire.

“Miyu?” Miyu’s cat meowed.

“Aww, I’m glad you liked it, Yuki! It’s tea milk with catnip jelly,” Sachi replied, clearly invested in conversing with Miyu’s kitten.

Miyu raised his hand slightly as if we were in class. “Um, I don’t mean to interrupt but… why are we turning into a catgirl and a vampire, respectively?”

Yuki - Miyu’s cat’s name, I guess? started zooming around the table meowing.

Sachi giggled and translated. “She says that she’s sharing her gifts with you as thanks for saving her. She wants to help you be happy and grant you good fortune,” She paused. “Wow, you’re an old-timey youkai, aren’t you?”

Yuki hissed at the girl, apparently offended.

“Eheh… sorry,” Sachi apologized. 

Yuki turned away, mewling petulantly.

What a brat.

I cleared my throat to bring attention back from the bratty cat to our more pressing situation. “Okay, that explains Har– er, Miyu’s situation, but what about me?”

“Someone turned you, duh,” Ada said, taking another sip of her drink. “Any mysterious encounters with a stranger? Periods of lost time unaccounted for?”

“Uh…” I thought back to the strange Tinder dream.

“Yep. There’s your answer.”

Okay, so that explained why I was turning into a vampire, I guess. One bad Tinder hookup and I’m suddenly a blood-sucker. Great. But that didn’t explain…

“Ok, I get the vampire part… but why am I turning into a girl?”

“You are?” Miyu asked, looking over at me quickly.

“You’re not?!” I asked, shocked. I mean, he’d worn a skirt today and everything, I just kinda assumed…

“Nyot yet,” he said, shaking his head.

Yuki meowed at him again, and started… glowing?!

“I’m not sure,” Ada said. “I’ll send you some links to check out later, though. Both of you.” 

I guess we’re just ignoring the glowing fucking cat. Okay.

I nodded awkwardly at Ada. “Right… thanks.” 

I had serious doubts that the internet was going to be any real kind of help.

“Sure,” Ada smiled. “Anything else? We need to get back to work.”

“Oh! Right, s-sorry,” Miyu apologized. “We’ll let you get back to it.”

“Alright, text us any time, you two!” Sachi called back, smiling as they walked away.

In their absence it was just me and Miyu… and Yuki, who had thankfully stopped glowing.

“Well… that explains a lot, right?” Miyu asked.

“I guess so?” I shrugged. “I still wish I knew why I was turning into a girl though…” 

I sighed. If this kept going… Miyu wouldn’t be the only one of us in a skirt for our presentation.

I had to change topics or I was going to keep dwelling on this… and I was quickly running out of boba. This shit is addictive…

“So, uh, weirdness aside… how’d your research go last night?”

Miyu facepalmed. 

Great. Looks like he forgot.

“No problem… Just catch up tonight. We can go over it tomorrow. Why don’t we just… make after-school meet-ups here our usual thing until we figure out this whole transforming thing… and our project?”

“S-sounds good,” Miyu nodded.

“Miyu!” Yuki agreed.

We parted ways shortly after, and I was all too eager to get home. How am I going to explain this to my dad?”

Hey dad, guess what? I made a new friend! Also I’m turning into a vampire! And a girl!

I’m sure that would go over really well.

I threw my backpack down beside my desk, locking my bedroom door behind me, then made a beeline for my bed, flopping onto it.

Ow.

My chest protested angrily. I pulled open the blazer to find that they’d gotten bigger still.

Great.

Add on to that list, ‘Hey dad, I need to go bra shopping’.

Fuck…

I felt my eyes stinging as tears built up and overflowed.

Great. Well, I guess it’s totally fine for girls to cry.