Chapter 6: Ever Westward
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Alice woke up inside herself again. 

 

The small sun representing her soul had changed. The entire space had changed, but it was the bright representation of her soul that Alice noticed first. 

Before, it had been a tightly bound sphere of memory and emotion, closely shielded by a thick membrane. The membrane was still present, but had been pushed away from the sphere by a thin, spindly looking growth emerging from a crack in her soul’s surface. 

Less like a sun and more like a…seed. 

Thin tendrils of Zeus’s soul had crossed the empty space between her and him, snaking up against the seed and being absorbed. A representation of him having shared divine blood? 

She didn’t know, exactly, and that left an uneasy feeling. Zeus's energy touching her soul seemed like an unequivocally bad thing. Hell, even the fact that he was in her body left a bad taste in her mouth, no matter how helpful it ended up being to her survival chances.

He was going to stab her in the back at some point. It wasn’t even conjecture. It was going to happen. So, keeping his soul out of hers was just common sense. 

Alice carefully looked at what was happening. 

The energy pressed up against her soul and passed through the membrane protecting it, slowly percolating into the structures making up her soul. If she could visualize it, her soul would normally be a white color, right? And Zeus’s would be blue. The energy passing into Alice’s soul was changing it from white to the lightest shades of blue. Everything his energy touched was changed like that, stained slightly. Very slightly. It might take years, decades before her whole soul reflected his shade of blue. 

But even the idea of her soul being stained like that repulsed Alice.

Was there anything she could do about it? 

 

Did she want to do anything about it? 

Like, the color changing aspect would suggest that whatever Zeus was doing, it was subtly changing her to become more like him, make their souls more similar. But it was also likely part of the whole divine blood deal. Would removing the blue from her soul prevent Alice from utilizing her roots? They were a major boon, and would make the journey back to Anchorage more survivable. She could just leave it until getting out of the wilderness. Remove his influence over her soul afterwards, if it was possible.  

If Alice were capable of sighing without a body, she would have. 

Survival at all costs, she reminded herself. Even if it meant accepting distasteful things. 

 

Though…

What if she could twist Zeus’s influence out of his control? 

Alice gathered up the energy streaming into her soul with a motion half instinct and half memory, delicately guiding it deeper into her ‘self’. 

She didn’t know what her soul had looked like before Zeus, how natural existence had seen fit to arrange it. She knew it had taken up the entire space now holding Zeus as well, so it must have been very spread out. It wasn’t anymore. Alice compared it to a hellishly complicated jigsaw puzzle, everything connected at a great number of levels. The outer layers of the jigsaw contained most of her memories and experiences. At the center lay her identity; everything that made Alice into Alice. The soul-sprout was emerging from this part of her, a thin reedy stalk made out of soul stuff. 

It was to this center that Alice funneled Zeus’s connection with her. His energy felt like him, just a little. Prideful, arrogant, wily, and so, so determined. It would be hard to change. She knew that. And there wasn’t any way for her to make it reflect herself instead. Alice didn’t…she felt like mortals couldn’t embody concepts, emotions like Zeus was. But she could make it reflect something that wasn’t Zeus. And that…that would have to be good enough. 

Her willpower crashed against the energy, grasping hold of the qualities it was staining her soul with and twisting

Pride became Dignity. Both were alike in bearing, and it was easy to misunderstand the outward presentations involved. A prideful man looked upon his works and felt accomplished. A dignified man knew he was accomplished even in a vacuum. 

Arrogance became Hubris. Very similar concepts. But those who are arrogant look down, sneering at those considered lesser. Their inflated sense of self-worth leads to caustic relationships full of stepping stones and burnt bridges. Hubris is also associated with excessive self worth. An elevated opinion of self. Pride outstripping ability. It was the device by which many classical heroes fell. 

They’d thought themselves capable of fighting the gods. 

Alice was thinking she needed some of that hubris. 

Wiliness. Cunning. Not the sort of quality you’d have expected to see in a god like Zeus. King of the Gods, Lord of the Skies. His version of the concept seemed slimy, free of consequence. It became Guile for Alice. She anticipated that deception would become a necessary component of her relationship with Zeus very soon, if it hadn’t already. She’d ready the dagger behind her back even while reaching out to shake Zeus’s hand. Survival at all costs. 

 

There was little she could do about Determination. It seemed emblematic of something beyond Zeus himself. A quality he couldn’t help but have, and something his personality seemed poorly suited for. It felt tireless, unchanging. No flexibility. 

Truthfully, this aspect of the energy did somewhat suit Alice. She’d endured a lot, growing up. And it had equipped her with the determination to continue moving despite opposition. Though, maybe it could more accurately be categorized as stubbornness. 

And, she didn’t really want to leave any of the energy’s characteristics intact. Not in their intended meanings. She would be the only one dictating the course of her soul’s change. 

She reached for Determination, deciding to change it to stubbornness and expecting a fight. Such a deeply entrenched and unchanging concept wouldn’t take to alteration easily. 

 

It became Innovation at the slightest brush of her willpower.

 

…Alice decided not to question it. 

Regardless, the changes completely altered the energy’s feeling. If it had been blue before, it was now a more earthy brown. Pride, Arrogance, Cunning, and Determination transmuted into Dignity, Hubris, Guile, and Innovation. 

She fed the altered energy to the little stalk growing out of her soul. 

It felt like the right thing to do, somehow. 

 

With that accomplished, Alice followed the energy back out and noted that it kept transmuting itself soon after entering her soul. Outside of her self, it remained the same blue, tracing all the way back into the dense clouds representing Zeus. For a brief moment, the clouds moved slightly and hazy mountains became visible. Had the clouds been hiding them? Alice briefly wondered what they represented before they vanished behind cover once more. She refocused. 

The energy he was feeding into her soul was spun off the smallest clouds, the ones right next to the empty space between Zeus and her. So, it looked like he was literally siphoning off bits of himself. Alice found herself feeling doubly glad that she’d changed things, even if just a little. 

 

She checked the walls next. 

They’d cracked quite badly when Zeus first arrived. Up closer, the walls were some kind of lattice made up of bones and sinew. A representation of her body, then? It’d explain why cracks appearing had led to such pain, physically. And why Zeus repairing the cracks had alleviated the pain. His fixes were still visible on the wall, like glittering threads holding the structure together. 

It didn’t have any other damage, which Alice thought was…strange. She’d been feeling pain pretty consistently before falling asleep due to the divine blood, and had been expecting to see that reflected in the state of the wall. That is, if she was right about it being tied to the state of her body. 

It wasn’t until she took a closer look that Alice noticed the small roots coiling around the latticework, puncturing the bones in some places and anchoring themselves into the sinew. There was plenty of space not taken up by the roots, but they’d made a good effort at spreading out. The coverage and size of the roots probably correspond to how much divine blood Alice had coursing through her body, or how much she was capable of handling.   

That’d explain the pain, wouldn’t it? The roots were also somewhat reinforcing the wall, presumably making it harder to crack. Alice wondered if that meant the pain was real or something metaphysical she was feeling. Did wounds in the wall cause pain or simply represent pain she was experiencing? Briefly, she touched one of the many bones making up the barrier. 

Alice woke up, going from asleep to completely and miserably awake in a matter of seconds. 

She blinked languidly. Squinted at the small shaft of light falling into her hidey-hole. Sighing, Alice wiggled out of her sleeping bag, trying very hard not to smack her head on the low ceiling overhead and failing anyways. She didn’t enjoy getting dirt everywhere. 

The night before, Alice had looked for shelter and eventually found a small hollow formed under the roots of a great-tree, just barely large enough to crawl into. There wasn’t much room underneath, but it made up for such deficits with the security offered. The entrance was too small for most of the wildlife she’d seen so far. 

It was really annoying trying to crawl out of the hollow though. Alice dreaded to think of all the dirt getting in her hair and clothes. 

Outside of the hollow, the tree canopy was gently aglow with the light of the sun, diffuse rays escaping the dense foliage and giving sight to the forest’s interior. It was darker than it would be without the trees and Alice had to carefully watch her step because of how easy it was to miss dark roots or branches laying on the ground. In any other situation, she would consider the place beautiful. It still was, but the aesthetics of it all were slightly ruined by the knowledge that there were likely predators moving through the same forest.

Alice took a seat on one of the larger roots and unholstered her gun. She stared at the weapon for a moment before releasing the magazine and gently placing it to the side. She racked the slide back and the loaded bullet was ejected onto the ground. She picked it up and put it back in the magazine. While the slide was back, Alice checked the barrel from the chamber, making sure that nothing had gotten stuck in the tube of metal. It was clear. 

After she’d first bought the pistol, Alice had decided to take a course on gun safety. They’d covered more than the safety aspect of things, going into proper maintenance and care. She’d never had much use for those lessons, never having needed to use the gun outside of a range. Now, however, she was strongly incentivized to make sure it’d shoot properly when survival was on the line. 

Having checked that everything would move properly, Alice slid the magazine back into the handle of the gun and rechambered a round. Then she slipped it back into her holster, safety engaged. Disengaging it would take up a few seconds, but she’d rather take that time than end up accidentally shooting herself in the Alaskan wilderness.

Next, she reached back into the hollow and dragged her sleeping bag out, shaking off the dirt and laying it out to be rolled up. It should fit into a small, thermos sized carrying bag. Not without difficulty—cramming it back into the bag always felt a bit like witchcraft, and required a lot of effort and cursing on Alice’s part. It always fit at the end, but left Alice feeling lightheaded and annoyed. She was just glad Zeus didn’t decide to materialize during the process, though that did beg the question of what he did while dematerialized. Did he still watch her? Or were there other things drawing his attention? 

A question for another time. 

Alice tucked the sleeping bag under her arm and set off into the forest, following some small landmarks she’d remembered being on the way, like the tree whose trunks formed a V, or the stone which looked vaguely like a couch if you squinted. At the end of the trail, her backpack dangled from a tree-branch like the world’s strangest piñata. Alice walked over to one of the smaller trees that were nearby, fiddling with the rope tied around its trunk. Untying it allowed her to lower the backpack to the ground. She gathered up the rope, taking care to loop it neatly so it’d fit in the backpack alongside the sleeping bag. 

Alice’s eyes started burning as she packed everything away, Zeus coming into view from her side. 

“It truly is remarkable how mortals have advanced in the years since my rule,” he idly commented, looking down at her backpack. 

“It took a long time for technology to get to this point,” Alice stated noncommittally. 

“Mhh, yes. It feels like just yesterday that Prometheus stole fire for you mortals. He would be happy to see what change was wrought through his gift.” 

“Didn’t you sentence him to eternal torment because of that?” Alice asked, feeling that Zeus was maybe just glossing over his history with Prometheus a little too much. 

Zeus waved a hand, as if shooing the thought away. “No—well, yes, but he understood my position in the matter. He’d disobeyed my orders, it was nothing personal.” 

“Riiight. I’m sure he feels the same,” Alice said, skeptically. 

Zeus rolled his eyes, acting more like a teenager than the older man he portrayed. “There was doubtless more to the story than you mortals know. Prometheus…was a troublesome god. Unnatural, in some ways. He went completely against what we stood for!” Zeus shook his head. “No, his torment was a result of his own actions, nothing more. He would be a fool to think otherwise.” 

Alice didn’t say anything.

Truthfully, she automatically assumed Zeus was in the wrong. Alice was willing to bet that she’d get along fairly well with Prometheus. They could bond over Zeus trying to fuck them over. Which reminded her of another question she’d had. 

“By the way, is this whole vessel thing that you pulled on me just a you thing, or are there other gods doing the same to other people?” she asked while walking. Zeus was trailing slightly behind her, and she split her attention between avoiding roots and watching his face. 

“No, it isn’t just a ‘me’ thing,” he said, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “Something happened, something unexpected. I don’t know what, only that it opened your world up to our influence again. It was discovered that the world had forgotten our touch. So, we Olympians held a quick counsel to decide on a course of action and I allowed the gods to seek out worthy vessels.”

“So, other…mortals are going through the same thing as me, right now?” Alice asked. 

“Yes and no. Different deities have different goals when it comes to a vessel…” he said, trailing off in a way that screamed suspicious. 

“What was yours?” Alice asked plainly. 

“To gain a vessel worthy of me,” he answered. “Your profession was intriguing to me, and your willpower does you credit. In addition, your body naturally has a higher tolerance for energy manipulation, divine or otherwise. You are also beautiful in an intriguingly exotic way, yet no single attribute of your form could be called truly exceptional.” 

Alice raised a single eyebrow at the god who took an immediate step back, out of punching range. Drat. She didn’t much like being appraised like a cut of meat, least of all in such a frustratingly backhanded and insulting way. Exotic? She’d heard that one a number of times before, as a non-white mixed race woman living in Alaska. Normally right before some asshole used it as a way to try getting in her pants. Like she should be thankful for the attention.

“I still think there’s a glaring question that needs answering,” Alice said. “Why, specifically, me? A woman?”

“I like beautiful things,” he replied with a shrug. “Plus there were some inconsistencies I wanted to check out for myself.”

“Inconsistencies?” 

“Originally, Artemis had you claimed. She never showed up, though, so her loss is my gain.” 

 

Shit. Alice got the impression that she’d have gotten along a whole lot better with Artemis. Was it too late to get a refund on the asshole god in her head? She wondered why Artemis never showed up. Zeus didn’t seem concerned about it though, so maybe a god vanishing just happens every now and then? 

Alice didn’t know nearly enough about the Greek pantheon to draw any solid conclusions from his statements. She wanted to know more. 

“Why did Artemis ‘claim’ me, then?” 

“Oh, the usual reasons. You’re nominally a maiden, enjoy the outdoors and nature, think the moon’s pretty, enjoy the company of other women, etcetera etcetera. You two would have fit together nicely.”

“But instead I got you.” 

“Oh please, we have plenty in common as well. Don’t forget that Artemis is my daughter. We share quite a few traits, ones that are present in you as well.”

“Like what?” 

“Our taste in women,” he blithely replied. 

“…How would you even know what I like in a woman?” Alice asked, somewhat offended that he’d even made the comparison. Even the suggestion made her feel slimy. 

“Those books you keep in your pack,” Zeus said. “I read over your shoulder. Interesting stuff, no? You have good taste.” 

Alice couldn’t help the blush that rose. Those books were supposed to be for private consumption. And she felt like burning them after Zeus approved of them. 

She shook her head to rid herself of the complex and warring emotions flittering through her thoughts. 

Think about the smut after getting back to Anchorage. 

“Never mind that,” she said to Zeus, changing the subject. “We should be in sight of Anchorage sometime today,” Alice stated. The ground had started sloping downward, towards sea level. It should even out at some point and put them on a straight course to hit either the city or Highway 1. From there, things should get much simpler. “Do you have sight above the tree canopy?” Alice asked. 

“Sure, easily enough. Though, I must ask why I’d play subordinate to you.”

“Because I need to know which direction I’m heading. Keep pointing me west and I’ll have a much easier time keeping your vessel alive, and I’ll be able to show you my home city. It’ll allow you to spread your influence much easier,” Alice said, trying to entice him into following along. 

Zeus thought for a long moment, not saying anything. 

Finally, he nodded. 

“Sure, I’ll play your compass for the next day or two. I am eager to see how those in your profession handle my lightning.” 

“Good. We’re heading the right way, yeah?” 

Zeus nodded again. “We are heading the right way.” 

Unfortunately, the city never materialized that day. Thirst had also started clawing at her throat, but a source of clean water also appeared rather scant. 

One more day, Alice told herself while drifting off to an uneasy sleep. She’d reach Anchorage the next day, for sure.

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