Mr. Anachronism is currently occupied with his responsibilities as the leader of the Wanderers, so I have been designated as the temporary head of discussion until he arrives. As Mr. Avari is also... absent... this session will begin with a brief overview of what the intended schedule for today consists of:
Mr. Avari will finish speaking, Jace's journal will be reviewed until the next undocumented segment, dinner will be served, Quartz's correspondence should arrive and be conveyed to those present, and the final hour or so before everyone is dismissed will be spent as productively as possible based on the results of the various aforementioned segments of the meeting.
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...I'm not accustomed to... uh... this sort of thing, so it would probably be best if we all just patiently waited for Mr. Avari to get here.
Burnon
Booooooring.
Literally no one loves you.
Burnon
I love me, so you’re wrong.
…
Burnon
What?
…Moving on, it should be fine for everyone to simply get to know one another better until Mr. Avari arrives.
As you all know, I was recently hired as the replacement for the late Darnell Manebat who was killed defending the restricted archives during a certain *rear crevice’s* invasion of Yore.
Burnon
Oh, I see how it is. So calling me a *rear crevice* is fine but somehow simply murdering a few people is an invasion? Besides, they all died for the greater good!
...Riiiight, whatever you say. As many of you may know, this animal on display is Burnon Homines, more commonly called Patchwork General due to his unusual habit of collecting patches of fabric and military decorations from the people he kills and attaching them to his own uniform. Although he wears the military decorations he collects normally, the way he attaches the fabric he takes isn't just to cover up holes in his uniform or to replace ripped parts of his uniform as one might expect. Burnon willingly cuts out chunks of his own uniform to make space to stitch in the various uniform scraps he takes from his victims.
Burnon
Yeah yeah, I know my uniform's pretty dope. There's no need to be shy about it.
That's not really what I was saying in the slightest, but whatever floats your boat, Burnon.
(Written)
I'm just going to leave it at Burnon's and my own introductions for now. If I see a decent reason to write down anyone else's background to make the transcript easier to understand, I will not hesitate to do so, but I hear annoyingly loud footsteps coming from the hall so I really can't keep writing down self-introductions—it's hard enough to keep up with Harris's narration as it is, so if I'm not ready to write the moment he walks in I'll immediately fall behind.
Harris
I'm here~! Did ya miss me? Aww, I know you did! C'mere!
Alex
I do not consent to any physical cont-
(Written)
Harris knocked Alex to the ground with a flying hug that was, at least from my perspective, more of a tackle than a hug.
Alex
G...e-t of-f of m...e... can't... brea-the...
Harris
Oh, right, I forgot you were a fragile, spindly, scholarly type of guy.
On that note, let's talk about Jace!
So, Jace got this money and stuff and then I thought about his fancy, insightful words for a hot second before we got on the road again. Of course, Purple wouldn't let me go off on my own until either our deal was called off or she disposed of that P.B. guy, so I was brought along for the ride against my will.
I didn't really catch what they were sayin' because they were speakin' real quiet and makin' sure to stay a fair distance ahead of me, but those two were talkin' about something or other as we walked to who knows where.
After about, eh, I don't know, but some time passed, right? Well, we made it to this... what was it... some sort of colosseum? It was an arena-lookin' place, that's for sure. It was in the middle of that one major ruin at the bottom southwest corner of the continent—along the coastal border of Auburn. To be honest, I think callin' those ruins was a bit of an understatement, because that colosseum was the only building that hadn't completely collapsed.
Purple did some funny hand motion while standin' infront of the colosseum and the stone stairs goin' up and into the colosseum slid down and, one by one, locked into place. The stairs now led to a basement. Why does a colosseum have a basement, you might ask: Hell if I know!
Anyways, we went down there and there was this thingy in the center of a circular room.
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Alex
Harris, why did you stop talking?
Harris
Huh? What are you talkin’ about? Anyways, we left the ruins and—
Alex
Harris, what was beneath the colosseum-esque structure?
Harris
I already told you?
Alex
You said no such thing.
Harris
I really don’t know what you’re gettin’ at, and I already spoke about everything in the ruins and under the colosseum. Now, where was I…
M-Mr. Avari, I do not want to interrupt your train of thought, but… well…
Harris
Spit it out already or imma whoop your *buttocks* for wastin’ my time.
…there is most likely some form of cognition inhibition magic preventing everyone who heard what you said happened after entering the hidden room beneath the colosseum-like structure from perceiving and comprehending your words.
Hazel
Where is that *inconvenient* scarlet sorceress when we need her the most?
Alex
Hazel, you know that her absence is not something she herself desired; please do not be harsh with her.
Hazel
I know, but still…
Harris
Well, there ain’t *dung* we can do about it without some great mage like Quartz or Twilight, so I might as well go on with the story, yeah?
So, we left the ruins and headed towards the Auburnian guild branch—Purple 2 wanted to meet Purple 1.
…
…In hindsight, that was a reeeeaaaaally baaaaaaaaad idea.
