The breath I hadn’t realized I was holding left me in a pained wheeze. For a moment, I imagined I was exhaling my soul. My heart plummeted from my throat back all the way down to huddle somewhere in my left big toe. I felt like my spine had scrunched into a little ball and now I was about an inch in height. I don’t -

I don’t have the words to describe my disappointment.

Maybe it was stupid of me to expect anything, I know. Last time I saw her, I was eight and I’ve been nursing this stupid crush this entire time and I hate it. But you can’t help what the heart wants, isn’t that how the saying goes? I mean, sure, she was smart and caring and amazing and the void in her eyes was wow and - and had literally thousands of years on me and spent every single one of them avoiding relationships.

That was fine. I wouldn’t change her for the solar system. We could just be friends!

Right?

I just had a bit of a handicap.

Or a lot of one.

“That’s me,” I said weakly. I turned to Apollo. I usually don’t pray to other gods but right now I was silently begging him to put me out of my misery. “The little tag along…”

“That’s cold, sis,” Apollo came to my rescue with a big smile and I felt my spirits lift. “I thought the little Tail-Puller would have made more of an impression!”

I remembered why I don’t pray to other gods.

I said it before and I will absolutely say it again.

My Bardson was an ass.

I watched the small sliver of moonlight in her eyes light up. She definitely remembered me now and not at all like how I wanted her to.

Hermes snorted as he tossed his dice again and even Athena’s lips curled up. I probably looked like I was about to keel over dead from a stroke, because Artemis gave me this pitying look I never wanted to see again and tried to reassure me.

“I hold no grudge against you for that,” she said evenly. “I am well aware of how small children are around furry creatures and heal quickly.”

My soul was starting to shrivel. I could feel it. The little amused smile that stole across her face for a moment made me wish I could go back in time, grab my five year old self by the shoulders, and shake him until all thoughts of pulling the wolf’s tail fell out of his stupid little head!

Sam was never hearing about this.

“Uh, good,” I said numbly. “That you don’t hate me. For that.”

“Yes, ‘good,’” she echoed me and shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she frowned. “You are taller, but have not changed much, have you?”

This was a disaster.

“Um. I guess not,” I said miserably because every guy wants to be told they’re basically five years old by the girl they like. “Is that bad?”

She hummed thoughtfully.

“No, I do not believe so,” she offered, but I was scared to get my hopes up. And then I got my hopes up anyway - I couldn’t help it - because she smiled again and asked, “You...have learned that tails are not for pulling, at least?”

I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.

She just had to ask.

Why?

Chiron was starting to look constipated attempting to smother a smile before he gave up, hiding it behind a hand even as he flicked his own horse tail. This was not how I imagined this going. I thought maybe there had been something when I was eight? She credited me for Apollo being slightly less of an idiot, but maybe that hadn’t been about me at all, but her brother. I was expecting….I don’t know, anything but being called out on my tail-pulling ways. I had to defend myself.

And I - !

I -

I got nothing.

I didn’t need to ask who could tell I was dying inside, because Hermes had a sudden, suspicious coughing fit while I stood there with lead in my shoes. Mr. D obnoxiously opened his can of Diet Coke as Apollo whistled. The final nail in the coffin was Artemis’ lifting eyebrow, making it clear she was expecting an actual answer.

I -

Someone. Anyone.

Please kill me.

Mom.

Please.

“Yeah,” I croaked eventually as the gods laughed at me. “I grew out of it. You’re good.”

Let me die.

Artemis nodded, looking very pleased with herself. Apollo grinned at me from across the ping pong table and it took a moment, but it finally clicked.

I sighed.

Right.

Twins.

She asked if I grew out of pulling fluffy tails because she was fucking with me.

“I’ll be honest,” my mouth jumped ahead of my brain. “Sharing a sense of humor with Apollo is definitely a mark against you.”

She let out this soft laugh, slamming my heart right back into my throat.

I made her laugh!

In a good way!

“That is fair,” the Moon Goddess allowed. “I was told you are to be a companion on my Quest.”

Holy shit, that’s right!

I was going on a Quest with Artemis!

Mom, I love you, I prayed immediately. I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about your tests.

My mother's amusement this time had a bit of a malicious edge to it that definitely didn’t say great things about the Quest, but I was going to forgive her.

“Perseus, was it not?” Artemis asked neutrally.

“Percy.” I corrected her hopefully.

She blinked slowly and I had no idea what she was thinking. I watched the void devour the sliver of moonlight in her eyes. That was her inheritance from Selene, wasn’t it? Just - just wow. She looked away suddenly, passing a hand over her face as she turned back to the ping pong table.

“I hope you did not pick up too many of my brother’s bad habits.”

“Excuse me? My bad habits?” Apollo frowned at her while the sun in his eyes flared and Artemis relaxed against the table, leaning in his direction as the void receded. “I’ve spent years training him - “

“Perseus. You have my sympathies.”

“Can you not be a little shit for two seconds?”

Athena cleared her throat.

I won’t claim to be the most observant guy on the planet but I did notice the way the twins immediately gave her their full attention. Hermes shifted slightly away like he was bracing himself and Dionysus didn’t seem to pay attention at all. If a random demigod at Camp saw them like this before I got here, they would have no idea how much history between them they just betrayed.

Chiron, lastborn of Kronos and older than everyone here, quietly stood in his corner like a child in a classroom waiting to be called on.

“To business then.” The Goddess of Wisdom raised her hand and with a soft snap of her fingers, a very pretty wooden chair appeared at the ping pong table for me. The plastic folding chairs were still against the wall. The sitting gods had made their own chairs. I thanked her and took a seat. “This is the Oracle of Chthon. He had an altercation with the Oracle of Delphi that granted him its ability to discern Prophecies.”

That was a fancy way of saying ‘he ate it.’

“He ate it,” Mr. D said.

Hermes’ eyebrows jumped. The lopsided troublemaker smile I often saw on the faces of his sons Travis and Connor briefly appeared as he glanced at Apollo. “You let him get away with that?”

It was probably supposed to be a joke, but Apollo didn’t take it like one.

“The Fates are his half-siblings,” he reminded the Young god who winced. I winced too.

“You’re the son of the Serpent then?” Hermes sucked on his teeth. “Guess I should have seen that coming.” He cracked the same sly grin Luke had. “Maybe you can appeal to the Fates, eh?”

I felt my face twist. “I’ll pass.”

They made it very clear I was not their brother.

Starting with the attempts to get Mom to abort me and I’m pretty sure it didn’t end with the Pit Scorpion in my crib. You ever wish you weren’t related to people because they were complete and utter cunts?

Yeah.

The Stele household left them off the Christmas list.

“I assume that is where the Mythomagic cards come in? A form of divination?” Artemis asked and my brain stalled for a second. She knows Mythomagic?

Officially my second favorite god of the entire pantheon.

Apollo sighed. “Do I want to know why you know the game?”

“Why do I know anything?”

“To lord it over me.”

She raised an auburn eyebrow before tilting her head.

“You are not wrong.” She picked up her own representation from the table and after a second, Hermes did the same. “Of the Hunt,” she murmured before picking up the item card Zeus’ Lightning Bolt. “I see.”

“Told you.” Apollo blew on his nails, buffing them on his orange T-Shirt. “I know what I’m talking about when it comes to Prophecies.”

“Sometimes,” she agreed and ignored her brother’s indignant squawk. “However, you must admit a Quest offered to a god of Olympus is most unusual.”

Hermes rolled his head back and forth, cracking his neck.

“You mean, that doesn’t happen. Ever.” He eyed the Hermes, God of Thieves card in his hands like it was a rattlesnake. “A thief took it, a thief to take it back,” he mused. “I can negotiate and travel, but unless I want to get ass blasted by the Fates, which I don’t,” he stressed as Mr. D snorted into his soda. “I can’t do much in confrontation with anything but another god.”

“It makes me question the nature of our enemy if two gods are necessary,” Artemis asked with a side glance towards Athena.

“The prisons are holding,” she replied. “For now.”

“Maybe not two,” Hermes said as he put his card back down. “I would - “ A breeze kicked up in the god’s zephyr eyes as his voice broke. “I would volunteer my son, Luke, as your thief, Artemis. I can justify teaching him a few tricks for this. It’s unprecedented after all.” He seemed to get into the idea. “Give me a few hours and maybe get him a proper weapon…”

Luke too?

I smiled to myself.

We were going to be just fine.

“Your eldest?” Artemis’ eyes narrowed. “Ye - es...I remember him. He was tolerable. I accept.”

“This is fucking weird,” Mr. D muttered from his seat. “Quests are for mortals.”

Yeah.

Quests are for us poor bastards that can die.

Dick.

“Would you recommend recruiting extra members, Chiron?” The Goddess of the Hunt idly asked as she inspected the other cards on the table. “I would prefer at least one of my Hunters with me.”

“The tradition is three members for the sacred number,” the immortal trainer replied from his corner. “It has served very well in reducing unfortunate incidents.”

He means deaths.

People dying.

“Pythagoras was a rather useful boy of mine,” Athena said with an amused quirk to her lips. “Three then, or seven for your sacred number.”

“No offense,” Hermes ventured. “But if it’s just find and retrieve, seven seems... “

“Too many. I agree. I will go without.” Artemis glanced at me as she placed the cards in her hands back in their place and then tapped the Right Hand of Kronos, the Titan Lord card. “How certain are we that this is not a Great Prophecy?”

Uh?

Apollo and I exchanged glances.

Fuck.

That was a good question.

“It came to him, not me?” Apollo offered, sounding more than a little unsure. I knew why. His Prophecies came from Mom’s triplets, the Fates. And like he said, being Mom’s kid outranked whatever blessing the Fates would have given me as an Oracle.

“Yes,” Athena said quietly, pinning me with her shining eyes. “It came to him, the son of Fate itself.” I sat there in silence as everyone stared at me, feeling like my heart had just dropped out of my ass. “That would change things, wouldn’t it?”

“Would it even be about returning Father’s bolt then?” Hermes ventured. “Right Hand of the Titan Lord, King of Olympus, Lightning Bolt, God of Thieves.” He plastered a bright smile on his face. “And can’t forget the God of Doom!”

“No one forgets the God of Doom,” Mr. D grunted. “We wish we could, but we can’t.”

“It’s not a proper Prophecy without him.”

Apollo frowned at them. “Well aren’t you rays of sunshine?”

Hermes opened his mouth.

“Don’t say it.”

Mr. D sighed noisily.

“Two meetings in one day is two too many. And Father’s already sitting on a cactus.” He gave me a look out of the corner of his eyes. I smiled back and tried to look extra prickly. “So we're dragging this little shit back to Olympus, or what?”

“Do we want to?” Athena asked softly. She met everyone’s eyes. “Say that we do present him to the King of Olympus with this Prophecy. We do not have much to go on. We are unfamiliar with the characteristics of his Prophecies. It might be as the difference between the Grove of Dodona and the Oracle of Cumae.”

If you’re wondering what that difference is, one is a bunch of prophetic trees (and boy did Mom rip Rhea off big time with that one) and the other is talking bone dust in a jar and technically Apollo’s fiancée.

Or something?

He tried to explain once but I hadn’t been paying attention.

Look.

Calling his love life a dumpster fire was an insult to burning dumpsters.

“It might still be a Quest?” Artemis picked up another card. Vial of Centaur Blood.

“Hope that it is.” Athena said. “Unless we want Father to accuse the North Wind, Old Age, or the Lady of the Underworld of theft instead?”

Boreas. Geras. Persephone, in that order. The card was her in her Name of Despoina of Mystery which meant it wasn’t that simple, but, you know.

Zeus.

Everyone winced.

You probably already know this, but Demeter was a wee little bit touchy on the subject of her daughter. Just ask Hades. He made the terrible decision of asking Zeus to help him court Persephone. That ended in a kidnapping. Demeter came back to find her daughter missing, Hecate reported the abduction and then Zeus was like ‘what does her not wanting to go with him have to do with anything?’

Every mother wants to hear that, duh.

So because Zeus was useless, she gave killing all life on the planet a good ol’ college try and nearly broke open the Earth Mother’s prison in the process. Forget how Hades or Persephone herself would take it. Accusing Demeter's daughter of stealing the Master Bolt would not end well.

For anyone.

“If I may,” Chiron spoke up. After he got the nod from Apollo, the centaur stepped closer to the table. He picked up the item card The Cydonian Cincture. “An item representing all of the cunning bewitchment of mankind, belonging to a certain daughter of the Night.”

He means Apate, the personification of Deceit. She’s my cousin. Kind of. So are Geras, Moros, Hypnos, Nemesis and Thanatos. And the Furies.

Nyx has a lot of kids, okay?

I’m talking, no joke, at least several hundred and that’s just the immortal gods and spirits. She’s also got monsters for children! Actual Eat-Demigods-For-Breakfast monsters. Like the cute and cuddly furry bundles of violent death Hellhounds she had with the three headed dog of the Underworld, Cerberus.

I didn’t ask for details and you shouldn’t either.

“Along with two sons of Night, Old Age and Doom, and then the goddess of mystery,” Chiron finished.

Athena’s eyes narrowed as she inspected the star pattern of the cards.

Mr. D grunted. “That’s a lot of Underworld references.”

“It is,” Artemis said slowly. “Mystery and Deceit. The Pit where the Titan Lord is imprisoned is within his realm as well. If The Crooked One could reach any of us with his whispers, it would be him.”

Hermes closed his eyes wearily. More gray appeared in his brown hair. “And Father has not been shy in giving him all the incentive in the world.”

Wait, what?

Were they talking about Hades?

What?

“What?” I asked out loud. Athena’s nose wrinkled as if she smelled something unpleasant. Hermes gave me a sad smile. Chiron looked away with a distant look in his eyes, as if he could see through the walls of the Big House. Mr. D grumbled something under his breath. Artemis sneered and the void swallowed the whites of her eyes. Apollo nudged her, drawing her attention.

“He can see that,” he said, pointing towards me. “By the way.”

For a moment, his sister stared at him in incomprehension and then horror swept over her face as she hurriedly closed her eyes.

“It’s okay!” I said quickly. “It doesn’t bother me. It’s fine.” I swallowed ‘It’s beautiful’ because by that expression she just made, I don’t think she felt the same way. 

“It’s fine?” Hermes repeated and Chiron just...looked at me. After a moment, he started to stroke his beard thoughtfully.

“He is unaffected,” Athena confirmed. “The Mist hides nothing from him.”

Mr. D gave me this weird look, like he went to bite into a chocolate and discovered some jerk had turned it into black licorice.

And he didn’t know how to feel about it.

I did.

Licorice is nasty.

“Neat trick,” he said quietly. That was the second compliment he’s given me and it’s starting to creep me out. “I didn’t manage that until I was...forty something.”

“Uh, thanks…?”

Have you ever seen something move in your peripheral vision? You can’t see what it is, what shape it is, or color, but you know it’s there and you know it changed. Something like that just happened with Artemis. I could see it and couldn’t at the same time.

I bit my tongue as she opened moonlit eyes. Almost like molten silver.

I guess they were okay.

She leaned away from me. “What is he?”

She’s still great.

But.

That was kind of rude.

“When you find out, let me know,” Apollo said, shrugging. “Where were we?”

“Uncle Dead,” Hermes said, still glancing back at me.

The sun god snapped his fingers.

“Righto! So you know about the Prophecy, the big one,” my Bardson said after a moment. “A half-blood child of the eldest gods, soul reaping at sixteen, world in endless sleep, yadda yadda? You weren’t born yet. We thought that meant kids of the Big Three. Sky, Sea, Underworld.”

Zeus, Poseidon and Hades.

I snapped my fingers, a habit I picked up from him. “So that’s why their cabins are empty!”

Only a literal apocalypse would get Zeus and Poseidon to stop chasing skirts.

“I know!” Apollo burst out. “Super weird, right? You gotta admit, Dad and Uncle Sea do got hella game. Leaving the field unplayed is so not them.”

Artemis made a disgusted sound.

“So the eldest - “

Wait a minute.

The sisters were older than their brothers. If they thought ‘eldest gods’ meant the children of Kronos and Rhea for...reasons? I got plenty of cousins that fit that title and there are Titans still around and gods like my mother, but whatever! Then Hestia, Demeter and finally Hera were born before Hades, Poseidon and Zeus.

Where’d this idea that the younger set of siblings were the ‘eldest gods’ even come from?

Did they just go ‘Prophecy about demigods, who here can’t keep it in their pants?’

They probably did.

I will admit, I don’t see Hestia ever having a demigod, Prophecy or not.

I know how it works. Kind of. Sam’s a cat, Mom does not have a filter and Apollo forgets I’m twelve sometimes. So I have an idea.

Anyway, Hestia swore off that. On her little brother’s head.

As in she would have to sacrifice Zeus’ head to her flames first. When Hestia makes an oath, she means it.

Yes.

When Mark said she was a scary pacifist, he was not kidding.

Hera, on the other hand?

I think keeping her marriage vows when Zeus wouldn’t was a point of pride for her. How much pride she has left after all these years is anyone’s guess. A demigod of Hera would be an immediate clusterfuck worthy of a Doomsday Prophecy, but I can easily believe no one wanted to be the one telling the Queen of Olympus that to her face.

Demeter had demigod kids though. Apollo’s Cabin played Dungeons and Dragons with them. The current Counselor Katie Gardiner was an overpowered monk.

“But, Demeter?” I asked, confused.

Athena threw up her hands.

“Thank you,” she nearly hissed.

So it wasn’t just me.

“To be fair, we just got done with that whole mortal war thing, what did they call it, World War...Two?” Hermes spoke up with a wide shit eating grin. “Their kids screwed everything up, they absolutely would do it again.”

“They grew up in the belly of a time god,” Mr. D pitched in. “They got thrown up in reverse order, so technically…”

“And you were wrong anyway, so there!” Apollo exclaimed and stuck his tongue out at her.

“The current demigod children of the Three had already passed their sixteenth birthday, as required by the Prophecy,” Artemis cut in before the three idiots could goad Athena into strangling them. “Except for two young children of the God of the Dead.” A muscle in her jaw jumped as she ground her teeth. “A girl not yet twelve years of age and her younger brother.”

Oh.

I think I know how this ends.

“He killed them,” I said.

“Yes,” Artemis replied softly. A tarnished silver chair appeared behind her for her to sit in. She sighed, arm on the table. “Father killed them.”

Yikes.

So if Mom wasn’t Mom...it would have been a good idea to invest in rubber shoes.

“The Three made an oath on the River Styx not to sire anymore demigods,” Artemis continued. A low rumble sounded in the distance as a warning of the ancient river’s attention.

Huh.

“Just the river?” I asked to be sure.

Her eyes widened.

“What do you mean ‘just the river?’” Hermes asked with a frown as Athena’s attention suddenly snapped completely to me from the cards. “It’s the most binding form of oath we know of.”

I opened my mouth to ask what happened to swearing on the Voice of Heaven and the Bones of the Earth when I finally registered the warning look Chiron and Athena were giving me.

“Oh come on!” I nearly yelled. “That’s ridiculous!”

Athena’s eyes closed wearily. “I know.”

I waved at Hermes. “Literally a god. Throne and everything.”

“I know.”

Hermes raised his hand. “What am I missing?”

“Swearing on the Styx alone is for mortals.” The problem with pissing off the border between the land of the living and the dead is that she can change your address really easily.

From Living Street to Dead Avenue.

“Perseus.” Athena said tightly.

“And Hades,” I amended as Athena rubbed at her temples. “He is kind of right there in the Underworld, and Styx is the Goddess of Hatred, so that’d still suck for him, but for the rest of you? What can she do?”

“A fate worse than death,” Mr. D said flatly.

“Exactly,” I said, pointing a finger at him. “She has to ask the Fates. And they punish when and who they feel like it.”

The Moirai have never let silly concepts like justice, fairness, morality in general get in the way of a good weave.

“A true oath offers your intent to heaven, trusts the earth with the punishment for breaking it and calls upon the Styx as witness.”

And insurance the Earth Mother won’t devour more than her due if you’re a stupid oath breaker.

See?

I gave Athena a smug look.

I can teach and keep secrets.

She sighed.

Hermes stared at me a moment too long. Then his head slowly turned towards the older Olympians. I could almost hear it creak.

“Is that true?” He asked quietly.

Athena pinched the bridge of her nose as Chiron cleared his throat uncomfortably. Apollo shuffled his feet, looking anywhere but at his half-brother. Artemis sighed and bit the bullet.

“Yes,” the goddess of the hunt said. “Have you not wondered why Father and his Queen keep some oaths and not others? Even when they clearly despise it? Particularly, the ones made before you were born?”

Mr. D sighed heavily again. “Son of a bitch.”

“I thought...it was because he really cared…about…?” His middle aged guise melted away, leaving a black haired young man with zephyr blue eyes looking very small in his elaborate winged chair.

I didn’t want to, but I was starting to feel sorry for the Messenger God.

Sure, he ticketed my Mom, but it was starting to look like he didn’t know anything. Even though he really should.

He was Luke.

“Yes, he cared,” Athena sneered. “He cares so much that when it comes to the fate of Olympus, he just could not help himself. Thalia Grace was because he cared.”

Wait, what?

What?

“As in the pine tree?” I blurted out. I lifted an arm to point in the general direction of the Camp entrance. “The one right out in front of the Big House? Just down the hill? Thalia’s Tree? On Half-Blood Hill? That one?”

“That one,” Athena confirmed.

I knew my mouth was hanging open. I couldn’t help it. No wonder Travis had been so weird about me climbing the pine tree.

It had been a demigod.

“The God of the Dead sought revenge. A horde of monsters was sent after the girl. She had companions. One of mine.” She didn’t seem at all concerned about that, so I was hoping whoever it was made it. “And one of Hermes’.”

The God of Travelers still looked lost.

“She faltered and fell. Father intervened, turning her into a pine tree at the top of the hill and robbed his brother of her soul.” She punctuated her words with little waves of a finger, like a conductor in front of an orchestra. “She died with the intent to sacrifice and Hestia accepted.”

Hermes’ eyes tried to escape his skull.

“Hestia? But Father - “ He pressed his lips together and the wind within his blue eyes swirled dangerously. He breathed in and let it out slowly. “Later.”

A quicksilver smile flickered across Athena’s face. “As you wish.”

“Okay,” I jumped back into the conversation. “So Olympus killed his kids and he couldn’t take revenge. Is that really enough to go to war with everyone over? He’s not dumb.”

Mom would do it in a heartbeat, but that’s because she could.

“He is in a rather unique position,” Athena allowed. “We are no longer actively worshipped by humanity. Are you aware of why we allowed this?”

“Stability?” I guessed. “No more Given Names, but also no more pesky clashes with other pantheons, having Names atrophy, having Names Taken and no more assholes deciding they don’t want to be mortal anymore like Mr. D.”

The Wine God saluted the room with a new can of Diet Coke. Hermes stared at me in complete bewilderment. He looked around the room like he thought someone was playing a trick on him and was trying to spot the camera.

“Shit, kid. What weren’t you taught?”

That was a dumb question. “How would I know what I wasn’t taught?”

He palmed his face.

“The Mist allows mortals to believe a different explanation of the truth. Such as our chariots.” Artemis said and she paused. “Then they die.”

You know.

I have never wondered how atheists feel when they end up in the Greek Underworld. Or any of the afterlives.

Awkward as hell, I’m guessing.

“You think he’s still getting Names from mortal worship.” I said slowly. “It’s just that his worshippers are dead.”

They were all quiet.

“Is he?”

“We do not know.” Athena pursed her lips. “He is invited to Olympus during the Winter Solstice, but the influence of Night on him makes it...difficult to discern.”

Apollo snorted. “Try impossible.”

Athena’s eyes flashed. “Difficult.”

“Night gave him power once,” Hermes told me. “Who’s to say it won’t happen again?”

“What about all of mommy dearest’s fucking kids?” Mr. D grumbled. “I do not want to deal with that shit again. And that was just a demigod.”

“But motive?” I came to Hades’ defense.

I had to.

The guy is basically my retirement plan if Mom decides not to pull rank.

From what Mom told me, he seems like a cool dude with more than enough work on his plate. Imagine being king of a small country with a permanent refugee problem. You have to accept them. There is a quota on how many you can kick back out at a time, but they’ll always come back. And you have to accept them. None of your citizens will ever die, because they are already dead. But they still feel hunger and pain and cold just like living people. Your ‘help’ is a hundred different gods with a hundred different ideas on what to do. The Night and the Pit are your next door neighbors.

And every winter, your mother-in-law Demeter is on your ass 24/7.

Unless his cunning plan was quitting his job and going to war against Olympus to make someone else do it?

“That’s right, the motive,” Mr. D drawled with that cruel look in his eyes again. “Why don’t you tell him what you all voted for?”

Artemis nearly jumped out of her chair.

“You abstained!” She spit. “Do not act as if you made that decision with any principles.”

“My principle was not licking Father’s sandals.” The Wine God rolled his eyes as Hermes stiffened, lips pressing together as his eyes narrowed. “Although…” He smirked, glancing between his sisters. “I’ve recently learned that maybe there’s a reason for that, isn’t there?”

“Careful,” Apollo warned him. “You have no idea what we’ve been through -  “

Athena was stone faced. “I voted for it as I agreed.”

“What?” Apollo’s flaring sunlit eyes swung back around. Chiron shrunk back into a corner by an arcade machine. “Why?”

“It would settle the matter, once and for all.” She had on this grim little smile that was making my stomach scrunch into a tiny ball of ice. Settle the matter of...his Names?

No.

I swallowed and the back of my throat burned. My gut twisted.

No.

Please tell me they didn’t.

“One must learn to choose their battles, as I did.”

Apollo was not a loud angry. He was a loud annoyed, but when he was truly mad? He got quiet. He spoke slowly and his words seared. “You think everyone can figure out how to lie to Adrasteia, Athena Ageleia?” 

Adrasteia, my half-sister. Giver of Reward and Punishment. The inescapable.

To go before her, was to expose the very make up of your soul. Her very presence brought it out for everyone to see, like blood welling up from a cut. Can you imagine? Everything that makes you you float to the top. The ties of your existence, your Domains out in the open. You could see the Names you were developing, and which ones were withering away. You could identify all the Names of a Young god like that.

You could carve them out.

Mom brought my small sliver of divinity to the surface once.

I never want to go through that again.

They voted to torture him.

Artemis let out a small cry of dismayed surprise echoed by Hermes, but for very different reasons. “You lied?”

“It’s true!?”

The room devolved into arguing, shouting over each other, accusing each other while I sat there in my chair, numb. My mind spun in circles. Hades' kids were killed. He couldn’t take revenge. That was it. And Olympus voted. There were only twelve members. If Zeus proposed it, he couldn’t vote and Mr. D abstained. Ten. It needed a majority.

Artemis. Apollo. Hermes. Athena.

That’s four.

Olympus voted to force him before Adrasteia, like he was already guilty when he was the one wronged.

Just because he might be getting stronger when they weren’t.

“What the fuck.” It came out of my mouth as a hoarse whisper. I could barely hear it, the gods were so loud. The air in the room was thick and heavy, like moments before a storm broke. I could feel them, what they truly were, battering my mind.

Kneel.

Beg.

No, was my instinctive response.

Fuck you.

The numbness was starting to burn away with rage as it truly sunk in. Blood rushed in my ears as my head pounded.

How...fucking...petty!

“What the fuck - “ It was a struggle to even speak, but I pushed, clawed at the pressure until I felt that yawning pit crack open in my stomach and was able to stand. “ - is fucking wrong with you?”

My resonating voice cut through theirs.

“With all of you?”

Artemis bared her teeth. “If I were you, I would hold my tongue, boy.”

I snarled right back. “I would, if you acted more like a goddess and less like Zeus’ by-blow!”

So.

Alright.

I’m going to blame Dad’s Insults of the Day for that one.

It felt like the world froze.

Then thunder roared through the house and there was a shout from someone -

- a fucking mountain lion leapt over the ping pong table, intent on ripping my throat out with her teeth -

- I heard my mother laugh in my ear -

- And a raging bunny rabbit with auburn fur and silver eyes missed my jugular by a mile, smacking into my chest and falling back onto the table in a furry heap. The pressure I’d been feeling unceremoniously broke like a fart in a packed elevator.

No one said anything for a good thirty seconds.

We all just watched the small moon rabbit struggle to get to her feet, going from pissed, to confused, to terrified. When she started squeaking in distress, Hermes cracked with his cheeks puffed and a loud wet,

“Phhhhhhbbbbt!” 

Chiron palmed his face as Apollo snapped out of his shock. “What the - turn her back!”

“I didn’t do it!” I protested immediately. Hermes was chuckling in fits. He’d stop himself, then look at the rabbit on the table and start up again. “It was Mom!”

Mom, thanks? But - Oh, she was absolutely laughing her ass off. You are still not funny. Turn her back.

Athena made a chair for herself and shakily sat down. She breathed out and her forehead made a thunking sound as it hit the ping pong table.

Artemis remained an angry rodent.

“Get her to undo it!” Apollo yelled and that was the last straw for Mr. D who started with a snigger, but when the mad moon bunny turned on him, squeaking, he started to howl.

“I already tried!” I almost wailed. The consequences of my actions had just hit me. This was my chance! And I called my crush a bastard to her face and got her turned into a rabbit! Was it even possible to recover from this?

I -

I ruined everything! 

“You know how she is! She thinks she’s funny!”

“She’s fucking hilarious!” Mr. D wheezed, his voice breaking several octaves higher. “How’s that for some irony! Get me some hunting dogs!”

“You - you’re not helping,” I told the Wine God who broke into a fresh wave of guffaws. “That is the opposite of helping.”

He tried to say something, tears coming to his eyes, but I couldn’t understand it.

“Do you need a minute?”

“It’s got to wear off, right?” Apollo was examining the bunny with brightly sunlit eyes. “Healthy, at least, but it can’t be permanent, right? She’s in the Prophecy. She can’t go on a Quest as a rabbit!”

Hermes made a sound like he was dying.

I think the answer was yes, he did need a minute as Mr. D staggered to the door and left the room, laughing all the way.

“I - I’m sorry,” I offered the sun god miserably. “I’m willing to pay an Athenian reconciliation price.”

A muscle jumped in Apollo’s jaw. “Athena.”

“She did try to kill him,” the goddess responded. Her voice was a little muffled because her head was still on the table, but she sounded tired and relieved and exasperated and just...

Done.

“He has the greater claim. The burden of paying reconciliation falls upon Artemis.”

Oh.

Well, I guess.

I’m a demigod. We get used to murder attempts. At some point, you figure out how to shrug off the emotional baggage.

“I provoked her,” I said, not willing to let myself completely off the hook. Because I did and if I didn’t want her to hate me forever, I needed to own up to it. Dad always said that if I have to insult the person, I lost the argument. “I apologize,” I told the silver eyed woodland creature on the ping pong table. “I lost my temper and said something completely uncalled for. I offer reconciliation anyway for my part in it.”

The bunny gave me a narrow eyed look.

“Sorry,” I whispered, feeling my heart start to crack.

The rabbit’s ears twitched as she looked towards Apollo. He sighed. “Not my call. I hate to say it, but if you had killed him…”

“Yes,” Athena said sharply as she raised her head to glare at the moon rabbit. “If you had.”

Artemis shuffled a bit on the table and before my heart could shatter completely, she nodded with a small affirmative squeak.

I bit my lip to stop the stupid grin from forming on my face. She was willing to forgive me! “Thank you.”

I already had an idea for my price too!

I said I grew out of it.

I reached out and before she could react, I gently - gently! - pulled on the fluffy white cotton ball bunny tail.

I am a lying liar who lies.

I turned away from the stunned moon rabbit to Apollo proudly as Hermes bit his thumb. With my hands on my hips I declared, “Paid in full!”

My Bardson stared at me.

“What?” I frowned. “Now we’re even.”

His mouth opened and closed a few times before he just shook his head.

“I...am not.” And with that he scooped his small rabbit-sister up off the ping pong table. She curled up into a little ball in his hands. She was really adorable, but also not very happy with what had just happened. Her ears were hanging down against her head. I don't know rabbit body language, but if I had to guess, she looked almost depressed.

I get it.

I wouldn’t want to be stuck as a bunny either.

“Any ideas?” Apollo threw out half-heartedly.

“Hunt a few sacrifices, build an altar, beg mom for mercy?” I suggested with a grimace.

Artemis whimpered and her brother cradled her, sighing. “Yeeaaap.”

“Wait,” Hermes looked up with wide eyes. “An altar? We can do that? We do that? That’s an actual thing?”

“Not something to do lightly.” Apollo jerked his head towards the door. “Chiron, still remember how?”

“To the Serpent?” The old centaur mused as he followed the two gods out into the foyer of the Big House, stroking his terrible beard. “I believe so. Might I suggest the Myrmeke nest nearby? They have been getting aggressive lately.”

Then it was just me and Athena.

Who was leaning on the table with a hand over her eyes like she was hoping the world would go away if she ignored it for long enough.

“I do not know whether to curse or praise your existence,” she said eventually.

“Uh. Both?”

“Both,” Annabeth’s mother agreed.

“Did you really vote because you thought it was the right thing to do?” I had not forgotten. “You know what that’s like.”

“I do not make wrong decisions.”

I stared at her in blank disbelief.

“Often,” she gritted out as if it was being pulled out of her with a chain and a pickup truck.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, morals.” She said that word 'morals' the same way I would complain about dog shit on my shoes. She shifted her hand off her eyes, peering at me with black coral orbs that shimmered with the rainbow in the light. “Ethics. Temporary discomfort is worth the King of Olympus being wary of war, rather than having him desire it.”

Temporary discomfort?

I felt my anger rising again and beat it back down to simmer in my stomach. I already lost my temper once today. I don’t need to have her mad at me too. She might not be able to hurt me directly, but if there was anyone I could trust to find a way to make me regret it without triggering my Mom, it would be the Goddess of Wisdom. 

“There must have been some other way.”

“None so definitive,” she dismissed with a bored glance over the cards still on the table. The star pattern was still messed up where Artemis landed and she reached out to fix it. “If you had arrived a year or two earlier, perhaps I would have had more suitable options.”

I rolled that around in my mind.

More options if I arrived sooner?

That didn't sound like someone who was at all upset with me telling the truth.

“You...wanted me to tell everyone what really happened,” I said quietly and that amused quirk came back to Athena’s lips.

“You are a young boy who was raised by one not of our pantheon. I would hardly expect you to buy into millennia worth of propaganda, and we have no leverage to quiet you, do we?” She settled her chin in one hand. “You were given an education worthy of a young godling. It would be a shame to suppress it.”

I nodded slowly. “And when the Master Bolt is found?”

“You will ensure Artemis returns it to our father, of course. Now is not the time for instability.” So there is a time for instability, it's just not right this minute. “We have four years until you turn sixteen, after all.”

Note to self.

Athena is a snake.

I bit my tongue and decided to let it go. I was pretty sure Boreas of the North Wind card in my Prophecy meant we weren’t going anywhere near the Underworld entrance in Los Angeles, so Hades was probably very innocent. And we’re going to prove it. I’ll get the vote overturned, somehow. Maybe Adrasteia would listen to me, or I could beg Mom to talk to her.

I’ll think of something.

I changed the subject. “Have you considered visiting Cabin 6 while you’re here?”

Athena frowned. “No, why?”

“It’s full of your kids.” I pointed out dryly. “Who just learned Olympus has been lying to them and who all want to get to know their mother.”

“They will adapt to the truth,” she said easily. “As for their wants…” She glanced up towards the lazily spinning ceiling fan of the Rec Room. “Perhaps if any others prove worthwhile.”

Yeah.

I was expecting that.

“Any others?”

“One has intrigued me this past Winter Solstice when the Camp made their little field trip. She inherited far more of Strategic War than usual.” Athena pursed her lips, tilting her head deeper into her cupped hand. “Annabeth. She must have been an inspired creation. Her father was a military enthusiast.”

I’m pretty sure I would have heard more affection from someone showing off their new car. Everything about Camp Half-Blood was really making me appreciate my own parents.

“You gave her a divine gift.” I said, hoping to spark some...I don't know. Maybe a clue that my friend was anything more to her mother than 'inspired creation?' I’m not sure what I was feeling, but I wasn't happy. Was it possible to be heartbroken on someone else’s behalf?

“If she wants to live long enough to be useful, she’ll use it well,” was all Athena had to say about it. She stood up and vanished the god made chairs with a wave of her hand. “This meeting is adjourned, unless there is something else?”

I swallowed thickly. It was one thing to read about it in the books Mom got for me, it was another to hear it first hand. Athena had all the makings of a great king. What made me uncomfortable was that it was so easy for her to be a terrible one. The Goddess of Wisdom could justify anything. I had a hard time deciding what was worse: suffering caused by stupidity or suffering caused deliberately.

That gave me an idea.

“Talk to Hestia, at least?” I tried weakly. Athena’s former Queen. They weren’t married or together or anything and I was high key regretting that for the sake of Athena Cabin. They would have had an awesome step mom.

No, Poseidon and Hestia had been Athena’s key advisors. The empathy and compassion she didn’t have. Over time they picked up new Names suited for the roles they played. Hestia Basileia started out as a title for a high ranking official, but the meaning of it changed. Now it meant Queen. Hestia had to carve that Name out when she gave up her throne for Dionysus. I don’t know if Poseidon got all his Names back after his mortal Trial. It would not surprise me if he didn’t.

I don't think Athena was going to ask Poseidon to advise her any time soon. But I was hoping she still considered Hestia's opinion worthwhile.

Athena paused.

“Perhaps,” she allowed after giving me a knowing look. “I will try to act surprised if any of my children discover an urgent need to talk to her as well.”

And she saw right through that.

Figures.

“Well, I mean, you’re not my King or anything,” I said, wincing. “But I’m sure if you ask Cabin 6, they’ll have a different answer, Wanax.”

That thing that happened with Artemis earlier, where something changed but I had no idea what, happened again and Athena’s expression screwed up in pain, taking a step back like she had just been punched in the chest.

“Do not - “ She snarled at me before catching herself. “Do not invoke that Name.”

Oh fuck!

She actually still had the title!

Great.

I try not to piss her off.

Do it anyway.

“Sorry.” I whispered. “Won’t happen again.”

Her eyes bored into me like she could see down into my bones.

“I believe that is all.” She strode to the door and paused with her hand on the door frame. “Both, indeed,” she said quietly before she left me in the Rec Room with my Mythomagic card Prophecy still on the ping pong table.

I quietly packed them back up in the tin.

A few hours later, I was looking around the Dining Pavilion at dinner, rubbing at my aching right shoulder. He didn’t say anything when he gave me rusted swords to polish, but I was pretty sure Ryan was pissed.

‘Test of competence’ my ass.

It was much like breakfast with a few extra gods and the Table 8 for Artemis Cabin wasn’t empty. Apollo was back in his guise as Fred sitting by his newly claimed son, Will. Hestia was at Athena’s Table along with Athena because she was a miracle worker when she put her mind to it. Mr. D was at our usual Table 12 staring at Clovis and Ethan with morbid fascination as they talked about their time with Hypnos. Artemis was -

Uh.

I looked over Table 8.

The Hunters were an all girl group of the moon goddess’ adopted kids. Maybe you’ve heard of them? Once they swear an oath to her, she blesses them with immunity to disease, halted aging and a greater ability to kick ass. You could tell who had it at the table by the silver glow under their skin. The Lieutenant of the Hunters was her second in command, a girl who looked fourteen to fifteen, but was actually older than Hestia, Firstborn of Kronos.

Zoë Nightshade, Daughter of the Titan Atlas.

She kind of looked like a Persian princess with copper skin and slightly upturned nose. Her long black hair was tied back at the top under the silver circlet that was her badge of office. The only thing that gave her away as not being like her younger sisters was the dark, sluggishly swirling fractured nebula in her eyes.

She was also holding a small depressed bunny rabbit with auburn fur, silver eyes and white cotton ball tail.

I winced as Mr. D started snickering into his Diet Coke again.

Oh my fucking god, Mom, please.

“Hey,” Luke’s voice said as he sat down next to me with his plate of barbeque. “I - look, Chiron’s probably going to tell you after dinner. I don’t like it, but I can’t change it.”

“Uh,” I turned a bit in my seat to look at him. His face was pinched, clearly unhappy with whatever it was. “What’s going on?”

“A Quest.” Luke gritted his teeth. His blue eyes burned with anger as he looked back at Table 11 where his father Hermes sat with his half-siblings. Telling jokes from the look of it. “I’ve been voluntold to steal back Zeus’ Master Bolt or die trying.”

That’s when I remembered Hermes walked out on Luke and his mom.

So the ‘die trying’ bit did make things a little awkward.

I’ll admit it.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “With me and Artemis.”

He blinked in surprise. “You already know, eh? Another volunteer?”

That was one way to put it.

“Does it count if I’m the Oracle that gave the Prophecy for it?”

His mouth fell open. “What.”

“Oracle of Delphi?” Castor asked from his seat across from me. His eyebrows looked like they were making a good effort to invade his hairline.

“Yup.”

“He ate it,” Pollux told Luke casually, like it was no big deal and I appreciated it. “It tried to kill him that night when he came to Camp.”

“Son of Fate,” I finished. “Weird shit happened.”

Story of my life.

“I am now the Oracle of Chthon. Apparently.”

Luke stared for a few seconds more before he rolled his eyes and then pinched his nose. “So you, the Oracle that gave the Quest Prophecy is going on the Quest, which is bizarre, a goddess known for killing men is in charge which is fantastic, and then there’s me, dragged into the mess to steal a god weapon back. Is that right?”

Uh.

“Yeah, that’s about it.”

Luke whimpered and buried his head in his arms. “Put Annabeth in charge of my burial shroud.”

“It’s fine,” my mouth said as my brain hung up on that word ‘burial.’ “We’re going to be fine.” I looked at my friends. Pollux was chewing on his lip and I think that was supposed to be a smile on Castor’s face.

Luke’s Quest killed two Campers and almost killed Luke.

Our godly back up was still a rabbit.

“My mother knows what she’s doing,” I said. “It’s fine.”

I hope.

That night, after talking with my Dad like usual, I made a beeline straight for my apartment in the Dreamlands after I fell asleep, burbling a quick greeting to Morpheus on my way through the border.

It was still a little weird, but every night the flaws in my home away from home were getting fixed. Everything was the right color now and the random teleporting to that black pyramid had thankfully stopped. I don’t know what was up with my form here, but I was working on it. I was solid now, just with a few too many burning green eyes. It was a bit like I had somehow forgotten how to ride a bike years after I learned how.

I was just a bit rusty.

For no reason.

I crept up on the sleeping orange tabby cat in front of my fireplace and reached out.

Sam’s ear flicked as he moved his crooked tail just out of range. “I will fucking cut you, mate.”

I pouted and sat down on the floor. “Sam, you would not believe the day I just had.”

“I already believe it,” my feline friend yawned, stretching out with his claws on my wood floor. I buffed away the tiny scratches with a thought. “You only have two kinds of days. Nothing Happens and Fucking Disaster.”

I mean.

That’s fair.

“You remember what I told you about Artemis, right?”

He licked at a paw for a moment, thinking. “The...queen you want kittens with, yeah?”

“I’m twelve,” I reminded him with a sigh. “I don’t like anyone that way.”

“Toms don’t fucking gush to other blokes about a bird they just want to be friends with, is all I’m saying.”

Sam’s kind of an asshole.

He’s a cat, so no surprise there.

“Whatever. So that Prophecy thing came active today - “

There was a polite knock on the door, which confused me a little. I wasn’t expecting any visitors. Clovis wasn’t at that level yet, and Ethan was just starting. We weren’t in any towns either, just a cliff dropping off to the Crystal Sea and salt plains for miles around.

Sam tilted his head, both ears upright and fully alert.

“Who is it?”

Sam blinked at me slowly. “Some fuck named Kronos. Know ‘im?”