In the darkness, I awakened. It felt as if I was trapped within something gentle yet tight. The space about me seemed to squeeze on all sides and I coiled into a ball. My hands were folded, and I desired for this pain to subside. I could feel myself being pulled. The cord that tied to my body tugged me outward. But I resisted.
I didn’t wish to feel such pain. I desired release. But I knew it wouldn’t come. How long I had toiled in my past and how much destruction was wrought by my hands. Enough was done. Why wasn’t I sent to the infernal depths where my punishment would be meted. For the things I had done were not something that could easily be set aside. The lives I had ruined before and the sentencing that was carried out. It wasn’t enough.
And so I resolved for whatever would come my way. I braced myself for the life that was to come. And then I heard a voice. A gentle one, serene and harmonious and it said to me, Do not fear, child. Let this chance I have given you calm your mind. If you so wish, I will erase all memory of what was done before. What say you?
No, I didn’t want that. Let me keep my memories—or what little of it was left. It wasn’t right for me to forget. That’s what I had thought and resolved upon. The voice then said, So be it. But let it not hinder you. Much shall come from you, even though you may not yet understand. A greater purpose has been devised and I should hope that you would fulfill it.
A purpose? What purpose was it speaking of? For a fool, for a criminal such as I. Perhaps it meant my death, or some form of torture, or some person to be made example of where ever I was to come. Yes, that seemed right. It seemed, after all, I would be getting my punishment. I couldn’t run away now. I had prepared myself in that empty void before I once more came to be. Now it would be delivered. And when it was done, I wondered, would it finally be over.
I felt hands caress my cheek and wash away the tears that fell from my closed eyes. I then opened them ever so slightly to behold a form majestic and radiant. With light encompassing my entire view. What floated before me wore a dress as radiant as the sun, its ends flowing in the light. Its hair was golden, and every strand seemed to shimmer. From its shoulders descended many arms, and from its back many wings. But what struck me the most were its eyes. Possessed of a color that I couldn’t describe that was indeed beyond mundane perception. And looking into them, I could behold things that were unlike anything I had seen before. My mind calmed, and I listened to its words.
Long has it been since a soul has ventured to this realm. The world, its ideas, and its inhabitants will seem foreign, yet inklings of your experience shall bring about familiarity. There is much for you to learn and much for you to seek. And though your path may be fraught with danger, and there will come times where you would feel abandoned, know that always does the Light shine by you, as it does by every being. Let not your mind be overcome with despair or self-torment. For forgiveness has already come your way. Venture forth, my child!
What was she saying? For me to have been forgiven. No, that couldn’t be right, that shouldn’t be right! I cried as such in my head, but those thoughts didn’t persist long. My vision was blinded by a bright image of what were foreign characters circling a flaming base. The light was intense. I could feel my eyes burn with the image. But suddenly it vanished! And I could feel my body being tugged from the being’s embrace and I moved back into darkness.
I could feel my head being squeezed as my body was pushed down. And then the light returned! My mouth opened, and I took a gasp of air. The world was bright and my eyes were blinded. My lungs burned with the air and my belly seared with pain as the cord was cut. I could hear voices, unintelligible yet joyous in tone.
My body lifted, and I was cradled. The stranger’s arms wrapped around my body and warmed me. But all the while, I still cried. From both my mouth and my mind.
I listened to the stranger’s words as she whispered, “Seliho, selihoyahm.”
My cries calmed, and I fell into a slumber. For just that moment, I thought to myself something I thought I would never think again. Thank god I’m still alive.
