Approaching the stadium on the edge of campus, you and Ruem rush through the massive entryway. You anticipate a greeting from a booming voice to come soon after, but it never does. Wondering if the Headmistress has yet to arrive, you continue onto the field. The figure standing in the center proves your theory wrong. Perhaps she just isn’t feeling very talkative? Given your earlier conversation, you’d believe it. As you move forward and are able to more clearly see her, you realize that she is, for one, glowering at you, which is hardly surprising. For two, she has one hand on her hip, while the other is hidden behind her back. You find this suspicious.

Readying your body and your mind to move quickly if need be, you move within a couple meters of the Headmistress, coming to a stop.

“Biat.”

“Headmistress.”

“You came.”

“You thought I wouldn’t?”

With no further preamble, the Headmistress whips her hidden hand out. Your muscles tense, preparing to launch you out of the way of an oncoming projectile, but none is forthcoming. Instead, the Headmistress holds an object in her hands — a large rectangle. A book. A familiar book. Before you can think better of it, your eyes widen. Wait, no! Tampering your expression as fast as you can, you cock an eyebrow and lock eyes with the Headmistress. She grins with malice.

“Oh, you weren’t fast enough, little wandering spirit. I saw that surprise. You recognize this book. This book that was found at the scene of the crime you claim not to have known about.” Her eyes glint, sharp teeth bared. “Admit it!”

For half a second, your mind considers doing just that.

“Don’t tell her a thing, Biat! She still doesn’t have shit on us!”

Right! Right, this doesn’t change anything. Deny, deny, deny! “A—admit to being surprised that you pulled a book from behind your back, instead of a spell? Okay, I admit that.”

Huffing in frustration, the Headmistress tosses the book to the ground. “Dammit. I knew that wouldn’t work.” She stoops down to pick the book back up, wiping the side that touched the ground off with her other hand and grumbling. “Have to return this thing to the library,” she mutters.

It’s from the library?? “You pulled a book from the library just to try to trick me? How was that even supposed to work??” That book definitely looks like the one Radestro had, though… is it another copy or something?

“No, it actually was found at the scene of the crime… Been missing for years.” Weaving a spell with one hand, she poofs the book out of existence, or at least out of your field of view. “Hardly makes up for the money I lost, though.”

For the first time, you find yourself wondering exactly how much gold Radestro managed to take with him. You hate the guy, for sure, but you can’t say you’re upset that he’s put a thorn in this horrible woman’s side.

“Let’s get on with it, then, Biat. I’ve got to have something go right today,” the Headmistress says, rolling her neck and shoulders in preparation. “You caught on to the speed spell fast enough—” You barely suppress a grin. She has no idea just how true that is. “So we can test that more, but you’re probably up for learning something new too, hm?” After you respond with a shrug, she continues, “Great! So I’m going to teach you the shield spell, then. Once you’ve got dodging and deflecting under your belt, you’ll be nigh untouchable.”

Though you’re loath to agree with her… you certainly like the sound of that. Headmistress Onpertet goes on to teach you the movement, and with Ruem’s help in guiding your hand, you’re able to pick it up quickly. When the Headmistress says “Time to test it,” a glint in her eye, you and Ruem are prepared.

While the Headmistress’ hand is still rapidly signing, you grab Ruem and pull her to your chest. As the Headmitress’ hand shoots out at you, you leap to the side, and partway through that leap, we are one.

And we are powerful.

Time to test her. Dashing forward at lightning speed, we watch the Headmistress as she staggers backward in alarm. Fist clenched, we pull our arm back, back, as far as it’ll go, preparing to strike. Her eyes narrow, hand twisting rapidly. But not fast enough. As our fist comes hurtling toward her face, a light green shield is thrown up just a second too late — or it would have been, had we not halted our fist partway through its trajectory. Relaxing our battle stance, we tilt our head to the side, which is the closest we can get to a smirk without having a mouth.

Headmistress Onpertet takes another few steps backward, shield still raised, before her own stance finally relaxes. Gripping her chest where her hearts are no doubt pounding, the Headmistress glares at us with a rage more intense than any we’ve yet seen. We just keep doing our best impression of a smirk. It’s enough for her to know we could have hit her… she’ll never forget how close her face came to getting smashed in. A moment later her visible rage is gone, replaced with a mask of cool confidence, even smugness.

“So you figured it out!” she says, taking a step forward, arms spread wide as though to indicate her lack of fear. “Excellent. The Board will be pleased to hear it. And more than that, I am pleased. Which, given your earlier and… continued rebelliousness, is quite a boon for you!”

We think we should’ve actually hit her.

Calculating eyes roam up and down our form. “You can move fast while you’re like this, clearly… And I tend to recall you being quite strong before, when you fought that monster… It’s as though this form naturally has multiple buffs applied to it.” Her eyes snap to ours. Despite the calm demeanor she’s putting on, we sense rage still dwells beneath the surface. “You should try using the speed spell. Will it allow you to move even faster?”

Hm, not a bad idea, we have to admit. Swishing our hand around, we are surprised to see the spell fizzle away to nothing right as it finishes. No stacking buffs, apparently.

Nodding her head, eyes narrowed, the Headmistress says, “Fascinating. Can you do magic at all? Try the shield spell.”

Before she’s even finished suggesting it, we’re moving our hands. Sure enough, we’re able to create a shield of purplish light right in front of us. Purple, hm? Like a combination of—

A force like a hundred fists plows into our side, sending us flying. For the half a second our body spends flailing through the air, we contemplate how foolish we were to trust that witch. Then our body crashes to the ground, plowing a deep groove into the earth as though we’d just been launched from a cannon. The moment our momentum comes to a halt we leap to our feet, dashing away and narrowly avoiding the spiky, grasping vines that sprout up from the ground. Those didn’t have spikes last time, right?? Half a second later, we barely manage to throw a shield up in time to deflect a fireball that was aimed directly at our face. As the muscles in our body coil in anticipation of more attacks, our ears belatedly pick up on a sort of slapping sound. Wait, no, not slapping… clapping.

“Excellent!” the Headmistress says as she strolls toward us, her slow clapping registering more as mockery than actual congratulations. “A very good first round, I’d say.”

“First… round…?” we say between pants.

The grin she displays shows off an unnerving amount of sharp teeth. “Oh good, you can talk. And yes, the first of many rounds that you’ll be going through this evening, I’m sure.” Tapping a finger on the edge of her mouth, she says, “This training session might go a little long, I’m afraid… But you’re clearly so eager to show your powers off to me, like you did with that punch you held back on before, so I’m sure you’ll have no complaints.”

We have a few, but her only response is another rapidfire round of spells.

~~~

The next day, after your classes but before your next training session, you, Ruem and Kittpey all follow Umeso over to their house. You and Kittpey thought it would be a nice thing to do for your friend (though Kittpey was hesitant to use the word), and also maybe you’ll manage to find some sort of clue toward the secret the Headmistress thinks Umeso has. There’s a tangible tension among the group for most of the trip, though, emanating from Umeso in particular. All attempts at asking them what’s wrong result in deflection. Finally, partway there, they turn to all of you, expression troubled.

“So, before we get there, I should warn you… My grandmother is… old.” Ruem, who currently sits on your shoulder, takes an audible gulp of air despite her lack of lungs. Not interested in her imminent snarky comment, you flick her off your shoulder. “She says odd things sometimes, and she doesn’t always remember things clearly…” They fidget in the short silence that follows their statement, eyes flicking between the two of us that they can see.

Kittpey nods. “We understand. We’ll treat her with care, and be understanding if she says anything offputting.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Umeso smiles wide. “Thank you.”

The rest of the short trip is much more pleasant, and Umeso even makes some small talk. Ruem does headbutt you a few times, but other than that, it’s a nice time. Once you finally reach the cottage that Umeso apparently lives in, they open the door and shout, “Grandmama! I’m home! And I have guests!” Then they take a step to the side to allow the three of you to enter.

When you do so, you immediately notice a few things. One is the smell of fresh baking, filling your nostrils and relaxing both your body and soul. Hopefully whatever is making that smell will be shared, because your stomach is already desperate for it. Another thing you notice is the small tchotchkes lining absolutely every visible flat surface, all of which look handmade. Did Umeso or their grandmother make them? And finally, you hear the sound of heavy footsteps rapidly approaching your position. In isolation that might worry you, but combined with everything else, it just breeds anticipation.

Only a few seconds later, a figure emerges from a doorway to your left. An absolutely massive figure. The woman that stands before you is taller than anyone you’ve ever seen in person, and wider than your already plenty wide body. She looks like a giant, frankly, and your brain literally cannot fathom how she is able to exist in this house. Yet she does, and she looks quite comfortable doing so. Besides the flower-patterned apron she’s wearing, nothing about her fashion sense particularly screams grandma to you, instead skewing more toward ‘aged adventurer’ or ‘wizened warrior’. This is aided by the fact that the sleeves on her blouse are rolled up, exposing arm muscles nearly as large as your head. After getting caught on this particular detail for a good ten seconds, your eyes finally move up to the woman’s head, upon which sit two massive curved horns. Beneath that is a markedly square face, with a large nose and a wide mouth that’s currently beaming down at you.

“Guests!?” says this titanic woman, her booming voice ringing in your ears. “You haven’t had guests in years!” Her bottom lip juts out for a moment. “What was the name of that boy you hung out with back then?” She shrugs, her hand making a ‘throw away’ gesture. “Bah, I can’t think of it. But this is wonderful, I’m so happy to meet you all!”

Voice only barely wobbling, Kittpey bows. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, ma’am. My name is Kittpey Slatterald, and this is…” She pauses for half a second, barely long enough for you to notice. “Ruem Phasos. Umeso has told us so much about you!” This isn’t true, of course, but you aren’t about to say anything to the contrary.

That wide smile on the woman’s purple face grows wider, baring sharp teeth that could probably bite clean through your arm. Not that you think she would do that, but you’re reasonably certain she could. “Wonderful to meet you, Kittpey! And you, Ruem! Little Umeso hasn’t had anyone over in so long. At least I think so? Time’s a little squishy in this squishy noggin of mine!” The hearty laugh she makes after that statement reverberates in your bones.

“I have not ever had anyone over, Grandmama,” Umeso says, exasperated.

“Oh sure you have, dear. I remember that boy! Even if I don’t remember his name!” All of a sudden her head jerks to the side, her eyes wide. “Ah yes, I’ve made cookies! Did I take them out of the oven?” She turns completely around and walks back the way she came, without another word.

“There is no boy,” Umeso says with a huff. “She has been on about that for years now, but it is nonsense. I did not make a single friend until—” Embarrassment creeps over their face. “I—I should go make sure that she has gotten the cookies out alright.” They stumble away, not looking back.

“The old lady seems perfectly capable of handling that sort of thing herself, huh?“ Ruem says in your ear, voicing the thought you’d already started forming. “Well I’ve been floating around this joint for weeks now, and I agree. Umeso babys her gramma and I just don’t think it’s warranted. She forgets stuff, sure, but never anything important enough to hurt anybody.”

“What about the oven? If she left it on—”

“Eh, she never does. She always remembers to turn it off in the moment, but forgets after.”

A soft green hand touches your shoulder. “Rude to have a conversation without me when I’m standing right here,” says Kittpey. You apologize, and after a bit of prompting, so does Ruem. Then you fill Kittpey in on what you two said, and she ends up agreeing with your spherical friend. “If the monster that attacked the school had tried to touch this house, I think she probably could’ve taken it on in your stead.”

You all laugh. Then you follow after the Arestrans, which rewards you with the best sugar cookies you’ve ever had in either of your lives. The four of you (plus the invisible Ruem) sit around a rustic dining table that is big enough to seat at least another four people, making smalltalk, laughing, and enjoying way too many of those cookies. Ruem makes her resentment that she cannot partake in the cookie eating very clear with all the whining she does near your ear.

Afterward, you and your friends have a thorough look around the house, with an eye for anything that seems even a little bit like a clue. Unfortunately, there is precious little that fits the bill. Mostly you find more knick-knacks, pictures of other Arestran family members, and a few paintings that Umeso notes as having been done by their grandmother. When Kittpey asks about some of the family pictures, Umeso says they haven't met any of their aunts or uncles, who all spread out across Idrest over the years. They also grumble about how their grandmother can’t keep the names of anyone straight, so they’re still not sure which name applies to which relative.

“Heh, and sometimes she calls one of them by your name, too,” Ruem adds. Umeso doesn’t appreciate the addition.

Eventually the four of you end up in Umeso’s room, which as expected is filled with bookshelves and also far too many books to fit inside them. Over half the room’s floorspace is dedicated to piles of books. You and Kittpey take up residence on Umeso’s bed, while they sit in a desk chair, and for a moment you realize that this is what it’s like when you’re all crowded into your dorm room, except usually you’re the one in the chair.

After a few minutes of idle chatter, Kittpey says, “What if you hid something in one of these books and then forgot about it?”

“Like what?” Umeso says, tilting their head.

“I don’t know. Like a picture of that boyfriend you deny having had.”

Umeso pouts. “I have never and would never have a boyfriend.”

“Would never?” Ruem says eagerly. “Because you’re gay?”

“I believe that being nonbinary essentially makes any relationship I could conceivably have gay, at least if I want it to be,” Umeso says, crossing their arms. “But also yes, I am uninterested in men, generally speaking, if that is what you are driving at.”

“Generally speaking?” Kittpey prods. “As in besides that one time you had a boyfriend?”

Cheeks colouring, Umeso says, “I did not—” They stop, and take a deep breath. “I do not know. I am attracted to people on a case-by-case basis, regardless of gender. I have simply never felt attraction to any men, as of yet.”

“Who have you felt attraction towards?” you say, unable to resist joining in on Ruem and Kittpey’s train of thought.

Unable to look anyone in the eyes, Umeso says, “That is not— We need not discuss— Why would—”

A knock at the door interrupts Umeso’s fumbling. Clearly eager for the distraction, Umeso calls for the knocker to enter. The door creaks open, and Umeso’s grandmother leans in, positively beaming.

“I remembered that boy’s name!” she practically shouts. Umeso does little to hide how uninterested they are in this announcement. “Roddiston!”

Shock freezes you in place, and for a moment your heart forgets to beat. It fortunately remembers its job a moment later, but your brain still reels, not having expected the name to be familiar. Maybe it’s common, though, and so she’s talking about someone else?

“Thank you, Grandmama,” Umeso says. “Can we get some privacy now?”

“Oh yes dear, don’t mind me. You kids have fun!”

She leans away and closes the door, and Umeso lets loose another loud sigh. “I apologize. She does that a lot. I have never met or even heard of anyone named ‘Roddiston,’ but—”

“I have,” you say softly. Umeso’s mouth snaps shut. Your three friends look at you in mild surprise and confusion. So maybe it isn’t a common name, then? “He, uh… doesn’t like to be called that, though.”

Exceedingly

Hi, everyone, thank you for reading!! If you'd like to read more and to support me as a writer, please consider joining my Patreon! There you'll be able to read at least a chapter ahead, sometimes more, and you'll get to read first drafts as soon as they're done! The next chapter is already available, so click that link if you don't want to wait a week for it!

I really, really want to make a living off my creative works someday, but I struggle with things like self-promotion and writing consistently. I've been struggling with both lately, but I'm particularly awful at the former, so please, tell you friends about this story and please consider that Patreon, I would really appreciate it! Every bit of support I get motivates me to keep things going and to move that much closer toward my dream. Thank you so much!!