I watch, helpless, as Biat collapses to her knees. I watch, helpless, as her eyes roll up into the back of her head. I watch, helpless, as she falls face-first into the dirt. She stays there, lifeless. I have no heart, yet it is stopped, and I have no lungs, yet they cannot draw breath. I hear a scream, and I am unsure whether it comes from me, from Umeso, or from us both.

Launching forward, Umeso releases me and throws their hands out toward Biat, pushing her body — which is my body — onto its side. As they reach for a pulse, a voice rings out, drawing their attention away from our possibly dead friend.

“Umeso!? Are you alright?” shouts Kittpey from afar, her voice barely audible. Umeso grimaces, glancing at Biat, then back to Kittpey.

Their face scrunches, a decision made. “Keep an eye on her, Ruem.” They sprint away.

And thus I am left staring at the lifeless body of both my friend and also myself. Blank eyes stare back at me, unblinking. I look away, eyes scanning for any other signs of life. She isn’t breathing — there’s no movement in her body at all. Despite every bit of my soul screaming at me not to approach, I inch close to her mouth, in one last ditch attempt to catch her breathing. She is not.

Is this normal? Does she breathe when she’s sleeping, usually? Obviously normal people do, but she goes on like a spirit journey or something every time, right? Visiting her dream girlfriend, who is now also maybe dea— gods, don’t think that. No, no, it’s fine. They just had a tough fight and passed out for a little bit. The dream girl is probably fine and more importantly Biat is fine. She’s just in the dream realm or whatever, probably having a great time. There’s absolutely nothing to worry about!

As though in defiance of my thoughts, the goblin starts to stir.

Oh no, oh no, what can I do?? My little body is no shield for Biat, and also I’m invisible to the goblin anyway! I can’t tangibly affect her! It’s hopeless!! Oh, but! Umeso and Kittpey are approaching! They can help, right?

Zujii also begins to stir. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fu—

Umeso gasps, drawing my gaze. They point at the two rapidly rousing enemies. Kittpey rushes over to place her body between Biat and the rising monsters, acting as a far better shield than I’m able to.

Clutching her head, the goblin sits up and surveys the situation. Zujii also sits up, towering over everyone else without even getting to their feet. The goblin’s eyes fall to me — or, well, to Biat. “Damn, did we…?”

“I thought she beat us, not the other way around,” Zujii says, also gripping their head.

The goblin glances at Kittpey and Umeso, then back to Zujii. “Well somehow, she’s out. And you already grabbed some souls, so let’s just grab Sh— sorry, Umeso, and get the fuck outta here.”

“Over my dead body,” Kittpey says, casting a small shield and shifting to place herself between the attackers and Umeso. “And not just me, either. I sent someone to grab backup. The Headmistress and the rest of the teachers will be here any second.”

Rolling her eyes, the goblin says, “The Headmistress isn’t here! That’s why we picked today.”

“The rest of the teachers are here, though,” Zujii says, glancing behind them, toward the Setzel center. “And they are heading this way.”

“Shit,” Eeozi says, scrambling to her feet. “Okay, well, two outta three ain’t bad, right? Let’s just cut and run.”

Zujii nods, standing to their full height and scooping the goblin up into their arms. Then the pair takes off without another word or a backward glance, through the hole in the wall and out of sight. The brute’s thundering footsteps are the last thing to fade.

Threat gone, Kittpey and Umeso fall to their knees next to Biat, worriedly looking her over. “She’s not breathing!” I shout, floating anxiously above the three of them. “I can’t remember if she usually does when visiting the dream castle stuff, and I know her eyes aren’t usually open like that when she’s asleep, and—” I continue to ramble on and on as my friends push my maybe-dead friend onto her back. Yellow magic swirls around Kittpey’s hands before lancing into Biat, yet still there is no sign of life.

“What happened!?” Kittpey says, her voice shrill from panic. She casts her healing magic over and over again, to no avail. “Who were those two, what did they do to her!?”

“I—It’s my fault,” Umeso says, choking back a sob. “I—I’m an imposter, a fake, and they wanted to bring me b—back with them—”

“They weren’t just here for you, though!!” I scream, but Umeso ignores me and Kittpey can’t hear me. Growling in frustration, I park myself on Umeso’s hand and scream, “Touch her, dammit, let me talk!!” Umeso stares at me as though she’d forgotten I was there, then shakily complies. “They weren’t just here for Umeso, though, Kittpey! They wanted to fight Biat!”

“You’re here too?” Kittpey says, baffled.

Rolling my eyes, I say, “Yeah, I fought them together with Biat first! But we got knocked out, and— UGH! If only we’d been on the lookout for that stupid goblin!”

Before Kittpey can reply, another voice interrupts. “Students! Students, what is going on!?”

The three of us turn to look at the group of teachers rapidly approaching, noting the one in the front — a thin wisp of a person with round glasses wider than their face — as the person calling out. Standing back up, Kittpey answers, “There was an attack, sir. A really tall, muscular idrestoid and a… I believe it’s called a goblin? A short, green idrestoid.”

Another teacher, all big round shapes in contrast to the other, glances around at the apparent destruction and says, “They did all this?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Umeso says, also getting to their feet. “They were fighting—” Their voice dies in their mouth, forcing them to resort to gesturing at the fallen Biat.

“Our friend was trying to stop them,” Kittpey says, shaking. “She’s hurt, please—”

A third teacher rushes forward, with long red hair and clothes that indicate they’re the school nurse. Umeso and Kittpey move aside as this teacher kneels next to Biat and starts looking her over, flicking their hand to cast a spell or two. But… but it’s obvious what they’re going to determine, right? Biat’s not breathing. She might just be temporarily gone, no big deal, but to the world…

“I… I’m sorry, dears, but your friend is dead,” the nurse says, expression grim. 

Kittpey’s mouth allows a single sob to escape before she manages to clamp it shut, tears dribbling down her face. Umeso, meanwhile, shakes their head back and forth, hands moving in constant, meaningless gestures. “B—but she— I mean I know it looks— She might just—”

Right, how could they possibly explain? Hey, nurse, sorry, my friend is actually a spirit from another world possessing this body, so you see— No, it’s a non-starter.

With a heavy sigh, the nurse rises to their feet. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing that can be done now.” They glance at the thin teacher. “Zwick, could you get the body?”

He steps forward, frowning at the dead student. “Ah… Ms. Phasos, I see. Unfortunate. She was never a great student, but her potential…” He sighs heavily, then begins to cast a spell.

Rushing toward the nurse, wiping tears and snot off her face with the back of her hand, Kittpey says. “Professor Tawnee, please! Don’t take her! Let us have a few more—”

Tawnee shakes their head. “I’m sorry, Ms. Slatterald. Waiting will do nothing. Your friend has been dead for at least ten minutes now.” She sighs heavily, her slumping shoulders and drooping face indicating that her years of experience in delivering bad news has not made it any easier. Softly, touching a hand to Kittpey’s shoulder, she says, “There’s no sign of life in her at all, Kittpey.”

Biat’s body — my body — floats up into the air, looking as peaceful as though it were resting in a bed. We can’t let them take it away, but try as they might, my friends’ words are doing nothing to sway the professors. There’s only one way they’ll stop — if something proves that the body is not a corpse. And the only way to do that would be to wait for Biat to return, which is no longer an option, or… to take it back for myself.

My round little body shakes. B—But if I take it, and Biat does try to come back… what would happen to her? Would she be stuck floating like me, or would she disappear? Would she be transported somewhere else, or might any number of much worse things happen to her??

Kittpey and Umeso are both bawling now, as Tawnee futilely tries to comfort them and Zwick starts walking away, pulling Biat’s body behind him. Who knows where he’s taking it, or what exactly he’ll do with it. My parents will probably insist on the usual custom — cremation. I can’t allow that.

Jetting over to my floating body, I brace myself one last time, hoping against hope that in these final seconds Biat will miraculously return. But she doesn’t. And so I make my choice. I reenter my own body.

For a moment, everything goes dark, and my mind goes blank. I become nothing, floating within nothing, experiencing nothing. But then my eyes snap open and my lungs inhale, flooding me with sight and sound and feeling. The smell of grass below me, the glare of the sun in my eyes, the beating of my heart. Some of these sensations have eluded me for months, while the rest are so much more intense than they ever were when I was a spirit. It’s all wonderful, but it’s also all so much. Too much. I can’t handle it, my brain isn’t ready to deal with it, please someone make it stop, I— I scream.

The magic holding me aloft immediately dissipates and I crash down to the ground. My tail gets squashed beneath me, and it’s painful, but even pain is wonderful right now. Yes, yes, it’s all calming down in my head now, I’m making sense of it all, and wow that hurts but wow I haven’t been able to hurt in so long, and I—

Oh, everyone is staring at me. Glancing around, I find I’m surrounded by utterly baffled teachers, especially Zwick, who’s literally fallen to the ground in shock. A few shouts and grunts reach my ears, and a moment later Kittpey and Umeso emerge from the throng of teachers, both of them throwing their arms around me and gripping tight.

“You are alive!!!” Umeso shouts, right in my ear. Oh, shit, actually pain is starting to just register as bad now. Sheesh, that ringing.

“We thought— we thought you might not—” Kittpey says, pulling away to stare at me with tear-filled eyes.

They think I’m Biat. They think she’s come back. And I can’t exactly say she hasn’t, with all these teachers around. But their relief is heartbreaking, I can’t not tell them! I’ll have to go a subtle route… “Y—yeah guys, it’s me! Ruem! Your dear friend Ruem Phasos is back!”

Umeso’s grip relents, as they too pull back, staring at me in confusion along with Kittpey. It’s my blonde friend who realizes first, her eyes going wide. Perhaps realizing her oncoming emotional reaction wouldn’t make sense to those around us, she plasters a shaky smile to her face, despite the horror that’s evident in her eyes. Umeso goes through a similar experience a moment later, but instead of plastering a smile on their face, they instead smash their face and glasses into my shoulder and start to sob.

By this point, Zwick has gotten back to his feet, and the crowd of teachers has given the three of us some space. The second teacher to have spoken, made of round shapes and curly hair, says, “We should give the students a while to themselves. They’ve been through a lot. Perhaps we can start assessing the damages?” The other teachers nod and move away, leaving only Tawnee behind.

“I’ll also give you some space,” they say, smiling softly. “But I’ll need to check over Ruem in a few minutes, alright? And if you need me before then, I’ll be right over there.” None of us look to see wherever they’ve gestured, though I do note the sound of their footsteps moving farther away.

As we’re finally left alone, Kittpey whispers, her voice shaky, “I—it’s you, Ruem? Biat is—?”

“She hasn’t come back,” I say, heart heavy.

Umeso continues to bawl into my shoulder, their tears soaking my clothes. Kittpey, meanwhile, seems to have lost all her fight, her body and face slumping. “So… So she’s…”

Shaking my head, I say, “She’s not dead!” I know she’s not!! “I—I don’t know where she is, or what’s happened exactly, and I… Well I don’t think she can come back the normal way now, if that was still an option for her, but…”

Kittpey stares at the ground, defeated. “But you don’t actually know. She could be… she’s probably gone forever.” Umeso cries harder, their deathgrip making it difficult to breathe. I tug their arm just a little to make sure I don’t suffocate.

As much as I don’t want to admit it, Kittpey’s right. There’s no way I can actually know. It’s just hope and maybe a fair bit of denial that makes me refuse to admit my friend might be dead, right? That’s all it is, isn’t it? Letting out a long, deep breath, I lean my head against Umeso and close my eyes. Is that really all it is? Why does that not sit right with me? What is this feeling that nags at my heart? I focus on that feeling, trying to ignore everything else, even the sensations of the body that I now inhabit. As I focus, the feeling only grows, and I become more sure than ever that she’s alive. Yes… yes that’s it, there’s… there’s a connection. Some sort of link exists between our souls, I’m sure of it. She’s out there, somewhere, still holding on, and that means that whatever else happens to me now that I’m back in my body, I’ve got a mission to complete.

Gripping the shoulders of my two distraught friends, I smile wide, putting on as strong an air of determination as I can muster. “Don’t cry, guys. I know she’s alive. I feel it. Something connects us, and as long as that exists, I refuse to give up hope.” Umeso sits back, staring at me in surprise through their tear-stained glasses, while Kittpey looks up with similar shock. Shaking their shoulders, I nod, beaming as bright as the sun. “Believe me, we’re gonna rescue our girl Biat, no matter what it takes! All we’ve gotta do now is find her. Are you with me?”

Making a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, Umeso nods their head, a fragile smile snaking its way onto their face. Kittpey’s expression, meanwhile, shifts from surprise to admiration, her eyes twinkling as they meet mine.

“Of course we are. Always.”