It was time to do some crime.

If I was going to be stuck in this glorified hospital, I figured I might as well take advantage of all the fancy pens, trinkets, and whatever else people left out where they thought no one would intrude. I guess not everyone- just the overpaid doctors who convinced my parents that regular trips to the middle of nowhere for months on end would solve my medical issues better than getting surgery. The patients were given a pass as they didn’t bother me- although they could be insufferable. I had done some research after the first month-long trip ended up with me just taking a different medicine and found out Graves’ disease- an autoimmune disorder where your thyroid over produces hormones- could be treated much quicker with surgery.

But no, my parents were a little too concerned and a little too rich to want to risk me with that. So instead, I was sent here twice a year for a month or two at a time. I’m sure that if you follow personal connections, one of my doctor's friends owned the pharmaceutical company I got my drug from. Supposedly the government had tightened restrictions of how inflated the prices of drugs could be after the Cascadia Subduction Event- but I wasn't convinced. It’s not like the price really mattered to my parents, but I cared about the ethics. What’s the point in stealing from someone if you can’t do it again? 

It was 8:00 PM, which meant that the last sweep of this wing by the staff would be over in ten minutes at the latest. They normally passed my room around 8:07 or just skipped if they couldn’t be bothered. This wing was the ‘safe’ patients anyway- which just meant anyone who didn’t need their rooms to lock from the outside, so we were allowed to roam mostly as we pleased. As much as I’m sure the megalomaniacs that ran this place would like, they’d get sued into the ground by their patients if they tried to drop the resort veneer that almost let you forget you were likely dying of some long-term illness.

Final checks for my outing were being finished when I heard boots go by my room without so much as a knock to ask if I was alright. While technically against procedure and internal company messages, no one really cared. In fact I’d bet that the messages I had found on an employee’s unattended and unlocked laptop were just there to shift blame if they got subpoenaed. Honestly, most people had no sense of security- I had had enough time to find the text document that contained all their passwords, add their company email to my phone, and delete the ‘new login location’ message from their inbox before they came back. 

I should clarify, It wasn’t a malicious urge that pushed me to do unannounced penetration testing, but it definitely was an urge. It hadn't been so bad while I was able to go to classes in person and satisfy myself by slipping candy or cash into people's pockets or by picking some random locks around campus. However, nowadays I was much more limited in targets, and most of my benevolent acts would be wasted on anyone here- which left me with petty theft.

I checked my watch after repacking my supplies, musing to myself. “8:04- really early, even for them. Wait, it’s a friday right? They’re probably heading off to the lake to get drunk.” After checking that it was in fact Friday, I smiled. “And that means they’ll be out of the offices.”

I didn’t really care when they passed by as I never would head out before 8:20 anyway, which gave me plenty of time to do fifth and sixth checks of my preparations. I wore an oversized hoodie which nicely covered a pair of pilfered pouches- well, they were fanny packs, but that didn’t fit the alliteration scheme. The one on my left side contained my lockpicking set, flat head screwdriver, wrenches, and a set of key-blanks I was trying unsuccessfully to turn into keys for some high-priority locks.

The one on my right was left empty so I’d have enough space to store things as I toured around. I had chosen to use the smaller pack to store what I stole so I wouldn’t get too ambitious. Anything too big or too expensive would be troublesome to get rid of, which compounded with my lack of trusted fence made selling what I got difficult. It was hard to find someone who’d anonymously and preemptively pay for goods they only saw online, so I tried to contain myself to things I could use myself or gift to people. I still had an expensive watch from the last trip sitting in one of my parent’s houses, with no way to get rid of the damned thing without getting caught. I had nabbed it because it was shiny, only to find out it was worth something stupid like $15,000.

I took a second to give myself one final look in the mirror to make sure that nothing looked out of place before I slowly opened my door. If anyone asked, I was heading down the hall’s bathroom. Technically I was going in that direction as there was a janitorial closet- where I was actually going- between the male and female restrooms. Last week I had realized that the cameras in the hall didn’t cover the restrooms, and by extension the closest- so I had taken the liberties to assess the closet’s security. Under a minute of raking got me access to all the cleaning supplies you could fit in a room just big enough for one person, including some fun biohazard and fumigation kits. 

I hadn’t taken anything that trip, and was back out after a quick glance around so I didn’t get caught. It was well worth it as I noticed there was easy access to the between-floor-attic-space-thing I was partially using as loot storage. Before now, I had to pop up a ceiling tile in the cafeteria at an ungodly hour to get there, which was a massive hassle. Since I had found the access hatch, I had been carefully monitoring the habits of the staff and decided that breaking in just after the final evening checks was the best option to test my new entrance. 

As I drew closer to the restrooms, I held my breath to try and hear if anyone was in them. I was confident I could get the lock open fast, but it was better to not tempt fate. After confirming I in fact was alone, I gave one final glance at the security camera which confirmed I couldn’t see the lens- and thus it couldn’t see me. As expected, a little raking allowed me to turn the lock and I slipped inside.

Although the closet was just being used to get access to the between-floor-attic-space-thing, I still checked for any new toys. Much to my delight, a respirator was tucked in the back of a shelf- looking very forgotten and lonely. After a bit of finagling, I determined it wouldn’t fit in my pouch. I didn’t want to leave it behind so I slipped off my belt and looped it through the straps making it hang snug against the small of my back. A quick check confirmed nothing else interesting enough to warrant taking now, but I would come back through here later if I changed my mind about something.

With a final bit of mental encouragement, I stepped up to the wall-mounted ladder in the corner and climbed up enough to reach the ceiling. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed that the attic access hatch wasn’t locked, but I suppose it was for the best. Despite that, I struggled to get it open. I wasn’t the strongest, or really strong at all. Or much of a runner- both sprints and endurance. Or really that good at anything physical without being an uncoordinated mess. I also missed out on both my parents' looks, just kinda being average and small by most metrics. When I had had close friends, they joked the only really interesting feature I had was eerily blue eyes- supposedly almost to the point of appearing to glow.

With a final push, the hatch finally swung open and warm, stale air rushed down to greet me. After pulling myself up into a low hunch-crouch, I regretted not bringing a change of clothes with how dusty this part of the inter-floor space was. The area above the dining hall had also had the same problem, but I had taken some time to clean it up after a particular incident where I face planted into a massive pile of dust and was rewarded with a cough for a few days. My other regret was not bringing a flashlight or headlamp. There was no reason to install lighting up here, so the only light came from small holes in the floor or displays and indicators on various fans, filters, and… flow-ways? Pipes. Pipes- but a cleaver synonym that starts with ‘f’. Point is, it was just bright enough that after getting adjusted I should be able to see well enough.

And with that, the thievery could begin in earnest.