The kitchen had a nice warm light shining through its glass panes, making everything seem cozy despite the dark storm outside. It smelled terrific: bread, fruit, meat. My stomach rumbled suddenly at the smell of bacon cooking in the brick oven, but Lori gave me a reassuring smile before turning her attention to the food in front of us instead. We sat in silence, eating quietly as we stared at the wall clock above our dining table.

I wish there was internet here...or even television... or radio...some kind of entertainment to take my mind off things for a bit...

Lori finished her meal first, wiping her lips with the edge of her sleeve. Then she leaned back against her chair and gazed thoughtfully across the table at me.

"We managed to gravely injure the masked mage and force him to leave," she explained. "We all knew it was him because...he has this weird dimensional magic where he can pull people in certain strength brackets into parallel planes temporarily. I'm not sure how it works, exactly."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow curiously. "But why did he come after us?"

She bit her lip, "We almost killed him four years ago, and we killed his brother in that quest," she answered simply. "He's a drow mage named Micarlin, and he's apparently quite mad about it."

I blinked. "A drow?"

"Yes," she replied, nodding slowly, "A dark elf. A race of elves who are born from the shadows rather than birthed by mothers. We are fairly sure he's sworn to serve the Demon Lord, and his attack yesterday was personal."

I gasped, "So he came after us because of revenge?"

She shook her head, "No, it wasn't purely that. He was also trying to kill us because of what we are. He was assassinating high-level adventurers when we started investigating him, and it looks like he's started again based on the guild's intel. Micarlin is currently wanted as a Rank A Hunt target by the guild."

I paused, thinking about that for a moment.

"Wait, so...he's killing people just because they're adventurers?"

She nodded, "Yeah, that's what we've gathered. The higher level you are, the bigger of a target you are to the demon lord. Rank S and Rank A adventurers are usually suicide missions for anything other than their champions and generals, but I would be a prime target as a Rank B Swordmaster, along with the rest of the crew."

"That makes sense, I guess," I muttered, "I mean, if you're going to try and stop a demon invasion, wouldn't it make sense to start with the strongest adventurers?"

"Exactly." She nodded vigorously. "It's pretty much a given that if you're going to fight the demons, you'll probably eventually die doing it anyway. That's why most people don't want to do it - even though there's no shortage of us crazy enough to take those jobs. Still, all of us will have to stand up to that tide someday."

I frowned slightly.

"But enough about that, what are you planning to do, Alice?" she asked gently. "About your magic, about this whole situation..." She trailed off as she picked at her own cutlery absent-mindedly.

"Well..." I began hesitantly, "I've been trying to think about what's best for all of us - what's going to be safest."

Lori raised an eyebrow curiously, "Safest? You mean like avoiding danger?"

"No," I shook my head, "I mean safe for me. Like...safe for my heart, for instance."

That was a bit hard to admit, almost as hard as saying what I'd really felt earlier.

Lori pursed her lips together and furrowed her brow as she listened intently.

"I don't want to leave this house," I told her bluntly. "I don't want to abandon the family, but I've thought about just leaving and going off on my own."

Lori tilted slightly, "What does that have to do with your magic?!"

"I don't know," I admitted sheepishly. "But, I've felt so much pressure about it...like if I'm known for my magic, and I've forgotten it all, then I'm useless to everyone here. Everyone in this family and everyone in this town. You bringing me along for that journey was predicated on my magical ability, wasn't it?"

Lori blinked slowly, "So you're afraid you won't be useful anymore?"

I nodded with a grimace.

"That's silly," she said with a laugh. "You have nothing to worry about! You're not useless, Alice," she insisted firmly.

"You're the smartest person I know. You're always helping everybody out. Heck, even without magic you'd be the most important member of this family."

My eyes widened as I gaped at her in shock. That came as a shock.

"Really?" I breathed softly.

Lori nodded emphatically, "Of course! You're the baby of the family, and we love you very much!"

I let out a quiet sigh and smiled at her awkwardly.

"Thank you, Lori..." I murmured softly. I felt guilt for a moment, knowing I had stolen Alice's life. I'd felt like I didn't belong, but I hadn't asked for this, and she did comfort me.

She shrugged shyly, "It's only right. And hey, I've told the Chief to piss off about trying to recruit you. For now, at least. If you ever want to join up, he's left an open door."

After a moment of silence, she cleared her throat and spoke again, "So, how are we going to solve this problem? Your magic thing?"

I frowned and chewed my lip before answering, "I planned on studying every day once we got back. Maybe with utility spells first. Then maybe move onto the self-defense stuff when I finish up there."

Lori nodded slowly, "Yeah...that sounds good. And I'll help you study too, alright? If that's what you want, at least. I'm not as smart as you and I'm sure you've figured it out, but I can be there to keep you fed and hydrated and nudge you to take breaks when you're stumped!"

"Th...thank you," I mumbled quietly.

We both fell silent after that for several minutes. Eventually, Lori looked up from her plate and met my gaze. She seemed to be thinking carefully about something.

"Alice," she started slowly, "Are you still...feeling weird about me? About how I was hunting for danger and erm, trying to make you take the stage?"

I winced and bit my lip nervously. It made too much sense in hindsight.

She'd taken all the roadside brigands down in an instant but sat back to see what I'd do with the last one before intervening. She did it again when we pursued the thieves, dropping me right behind the thieves and hiding while I navigated the foliage.

Lori had spotted Zlatan at the Royal Capital immediately, and she had let me take the initiative to sniff out his heist attempt. She could have probably taken down him and his men at any time, even at the point of the catboy henchman's sword. None of those people along the way were a threat to her whatsoever.

But it didn't change the fact that they were definitely a threat to me, and it was both stressful and nerve-wracking that she'd put me through that.

"I'm sorry," she apologized immediately. "I really didn't mean to make you so anxious, and disrespect your boundaries to the extent I did."

"It's fine," I assured her quickly, waving my hand dismissively. "Well, not really. I just meant, you know...it's okay if you do hunt for danger. That's what adventurers do. It definitely was too much at multiple turns. I'd like to avoid unnecessary danger, if possible. The behavior really wasn't fair and it was honestly fucked up."

After all...I could kind of understand her reasoning. If it were the real Alice in my shoes, she would have probably handled each situation a lot better than I did from what I gathered.

Lori gave me a small, strained smile, "I'm sorry. You...you mean a lot to me, Alice. I just wanted you to know that."

She paused for a few seconds, then added, "But, Alice...you really should consider getting stronger in your own way. We need to protect each other more than ever now. The world is dangerous, and we can't afford to be weak. I...hate to say it, but the masked mage busting up Fourth Street was far from the worst thing that could have happened to this town."

I opened my mouth to ask about the masked mage but closed it again and nodded slowly instead.

I knew she was right. I couldn't be careless or reckless, but I couldn't be complacent in a world as dangerous as this. But...I wanted to feel safe too. To have peace of mind. She really hadn't given that to me. But now she was giving off the complete image of a supportive older sister.

I sighed softly and shook my head.

"I guess I'll go get more books," I muttered finally. "I can start with the utility spellbook I bought, and work my way up from there."

"That sounds great!" Lori replied happily.

We finished eating in relative silence after that. After cleaning up our dishes, we left the kitchen together and walked back upstairs to my room.

I pulled out my Introduction to Household Utility Spells spellbook and began flipping through its pages while Lori watched curiously.

"This is the first book on the list," I explained as I flipped to the second page. "It's a basic introduction to spells used for everyday life."

Lori raised an eyebrow, "Like what?"

"Oh, well..." I trailed off as I glanced over the first couple of spells listed. "Like...preserving food, washing clothes, things like that."

Lori blinked slowly as she read the list. "Huh...so you can actually learn these yourself?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "They're pretty simple, but useful."

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Well, it doesn't hurt to try."

I continued flipping through my book, "And here's the next one: Lighting a Fire."

Lori tilted her head, "Fire? Like wood fires?"

I turned to her in response, "Yeah, I guess so. I don't know much about it though, so I'll look into it later."

She turned away from me and leaned against the wall with a thoughtful expression.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked curiously.

"Hmmm..." she hummed thoughtfully. "Well...I think maybe we should build a fire pit in the backyard. It might be nice to have somewhere warm to sit outside during winter."

I smiled at her and nodded thoughtfully, "That would be wonderful! We can use magic from this book to make the bricks too!"

"I'll get started on that as soon as possible," she promised with a grin. "I'll tell dad to let us borrow the tools from the smithy when he's back from the capital. Er, what's left after the bankruptcy auction, at least."

"Thank you, Lori."

◆◆◆

After that, we spent several hours studying together every day for the rest of the week. Every morning, Lori woke up early to make breakfast while I studied inside my room. Then after lunch, we'd learn together until dinner time. She also picked up a couple of the spells in the process.

As it turned out, Alice did have a bunch of more advanced books left, and her traveling bag was full of spells on scrolls that were too complicated to memorize and sight-read. Those spells ranged from temporary short-range barriers that could probably tank a nuclear bomb to Alice's senior thesis paper on anchoring pocket spaces to reality that went over my head.

Lori was tremendously eager to help me learn new spells and seemed to enjoy watching me practice them. She'd coach me on improving my mental framing and give sage advice for overcoming hurdles.

She may not have much magical talent, but she was a master swordsman and practiced her sword swings several hundred times outside whenever she had free time. You didn't reach her level without learning how to practice.

We practiced most of the spells in my spellbook, and in another week, I'd learned most of the spells in the book. I'd also gotten the chance to flip through multiple books on history and geography at the Halton library. My memory had improved since coming here too, so I could easily recall everything I'd read. I wondered if that was because of how Alice clicked and processed things. How much of this was me, and how much of this was Alice?

I wasn't sure yet, but I figured I'd find out eventually.

I learned how to summon a basic light I could use as a flashlight, enchant brooms to sweep the room, grab small objects telekinetically, project my voice over long distances, shape water, suck dirt and sediment up from things, light and put out fires, and manipulate ropes & knots. That wasn't all, there were all kinds of subsections about manipulating stone, metal, plant matter, and all kinds of things you would encounter daily.

All in all, the book was handy, and I learned to do all of this wandlessly by the end of my second week as Alice.

Lori and I were still thinking about making the fire pit for the backyard, but we still needed to get around to building it. We decided to do it once we had some free time before winter set in.

The weather was still quite pleasant, but it would only last a little while. Winter was coming fast to this kingdom. Its culture split the calendar into ten thirty-five-day months and seven-day weeks; winter and summer lasted three of them. The other four months were spring and fall.

I hoped this coming winter would be mild. Cold isn't my favorite nor spending more of the day in the dark.

At the end of my second week as Alice, I finished reading the book with the utility spells and closed it with a sigh. I was in Lori's room, and she was sitting on her bed, reading a book of her own. She looked up at me when she noticed I was done.

"What did you think?" she asked curiously.

"I'm glad I bought this book. I can see why people say it's essential for adventurers and domestic mages alike."

She nodded, "Yeah, it's a good one. Not many books are written like this anymore."

I stretched, letting out a high-pitched yawn, "I feel a little tired," I said softly. "Maybe I should go to bed."

"Oh yeah," Lori agreed absently. "You've been studying for hours every day."

I yawned again. "I guess I'll just take a bath first. I'll wash your clothes tomorrow, too, by the way."

"Okay," Lori replied with a nod. "Goodnight then."

"Night," I murmured as I climbed upstairs to my room.

I removed my robe and washed quickly in the bathtub before climbing into bed.

I stayed there for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of the house settling down for the night. The clock ticked steadily as it counted the passing seconds away.

It was hard to sleep, though. There were too many thoughts running through my head. I sighed quietly and closed my eyes as I tried to relax.

I wanted to learn more about magic and spells, but I had to stay focused on surviving this place.

My thoughts drifted back to my conversation with Lori earlier in the week.

I needed to protect Lori, too, if I wanted to do things right...but how could I do that? As new as it was to me, she and I had formed a genuine sisterly connection.

I could tell she cared for me, for Alice at least, but there was a chance I would be Alice for the rest of my life. I might as well embrace this girl's identity now and get used to it.

And even if I did get out of this town and leave, where would I go? I didn't know how to survive on my own in this world.

The distorted memories I had of another world. Of a lifetime of hard work only to end in muddled tears and regret.

Who was I, even? Am I Alice Liddell? Was I doomed to repeat that here? Was my past life the true hallucination and delusion?

I had no idea how long I stayed there thinking of thoughts like that. Eventually, I drifted off into a restless sleep.