"First things first," Govessa said as she scrolled through the long chunk of info. Took her a solid few seconds to get to the very bottom of the page. "I'll just give you what you'd call back on Earth a 'T-L-D-R." She looked at me with her trademark smile and made a pair of quotations with her fingers.

"There won't be a test, will there?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. Govessa's smile vanished and in its place was confusion.

"No, why would there be?"

"I was just trying to make a joke."

"Oh." The goddess began giggling. "I just love the culture of your people. But I'm still learning the ins and outs of it all, so I apologize ahead of time if I don't get some of the jokes you make."

That sure is a roundabout way of telling me that I'm not funny.

"Now, shall we continue with the 'T-L-D-R?'" she said, this time with a longer pause between each letter.

I nodded my head. "Sure."

"Excellent. Now, since you were summoned to be my Champion, fighting will be the most important aspect of your class."

"Makes sense. That's why I picked Martial Artist, after all." I made a pair of fists and threw out a couple of quick jabs at an imaginary foe.

"Good! I love that warrior's attitude of yours! But I do want to let you know before you finalize your decision that Martial Artist is a class not picked often."

I cocked an eyebrow upwards. "Oh yeah? And why is that?"

"It's one of the more difficult classes to master. It requires a lot of skill and patience, not to mention that most of your damage has to be done up close."

"Figured. I'm guessing most people prefer to jump in with swords swinging and magic bolts blasting?"

"You'd be right about that as well. Paladin and Knight are common choices. So is Ranger. Caster. Those four classes alone make up about seventy percent of the Champions I summon."

I knew I was right about Govessa having a bunch of Rangers running around. "Would you say that people don't want to become a Martial Artist because it's difficult or is it more like those other classes are just friendly to beginners?"

Govessa bobbed her head to the side as she looked up to contemplate her answer. "A bit of both. It's not like becoming an accomplished Martial Artist is on par with... what do you say back in your world?" She tapped her chin a few times before opening her eyes wide. "Ah! Rocket science! That's the term your culture uses. Becoming a Martial Artist is not rocket science, but it will require approaching your battles with an extra layer of strategy, as well as how you equip yourself prior to fighting."

Okay, I'm starting to get it. I'm fine with a learning curve. Just as long as it's not the parabolic or algebraic kind. Playing fighting games isn't really something most people can just jump into and fully comprehend within a few hours either. Now I'm just hoping that all the time I spent going into training mode, both in fighting games as well as hapkido, will finally pay off.

"Let's get to the basics. You know what these stats mean?" She summoned a square hologram with my stats by waving her hand in front of me.

"I know what these terms mean back on Earth," I said.

"Then they should be somewhat self-explanatory. [Stamina] is how much damage you can take. I know it says ten, but you can multiply it by ten again to get the actual value."

"So, a hundred?"

"Yep. Whenever you get hit or take damage, it goes down accordingly. Once you reach zero..." Govessa slid her thumb across her neck and made a clicking noise.

"Health Points, basically."

"Sure."

"You know, you seemed pretty perky when you talked about how my [Stamina] going to zero meant death."

"Sorry." Govessa slapped her forehead with her palm. "I keep forgetting that you Earth mortals are terrified of dying. It's a very serious issue to your kind."

There was a short silence as I stared at Govessa, unable to hide my confusion. "Isn't it that way for all living beings? Or is Sianka's culture different?"

"With so much violence, many Siankans view an early death as just a part of life. Of course, they prefer not to die before their time, but they don't make as big of a fuss about it as Earthlings do. All of those fancy funerals and gatherings." She giggled. Again. "I still can't believe that so many Earthlings actually have demands for what happens to their body after they pass. That's just so... adorable... in a strange way."

Okay. She's kinda right there. I've heard mom go on about how she wants to be buried on more than one occasion, all the way down to the kind of flower she wants to be holding in her casket. Because a bouquet of white roses means the difference between going to purgatory or heaven, right? But I was eager to get off the topic of death and funerals. Talking about it made me think of my parents back home and what they're going through right now. Can't have a distracted mind if I'm going to be fighting in a war.

"[Stamina] equals HP. Don't let it get to zero. And I'm sure there are plenty of ways to restore it once it goes down. Is that the gist of what I need to know?"

Govessa bobbed her head.

"All right. Next stat. [Strength]. How strong I am. And that equates to my damage?"

"Exactly. As a Martial Artist your [Strength] stat is naturally higher." Nice. A lot easier than lifting weights every day.

"And if my time with video games have taught me anything, it's that [Defense] correlates with reducing the damage I take."

"Exactamundo!" Govessa smiled when she said that. Didn't have the heart to tell her it sounded like she was trying too hard to come across as "Earthly."

"[Intelligence]. That's how smart you are," I said. "Although this one doesn't seem to be a straightforward as the last few seeing as how intelligence could mean different things to different people."

"Essentially, [Intelligence] dictates how well you communicate with people. How effective your tactics and strategies are. Things of that nature."

"And the last one that I'm confident about is [Luck]. It determines random acts of fortune is my guess. Item drops. Enemy encounters. Stuff like that. "

"Right again!" Govessa gave me a pat on the back. "This is why I pick people like you. Saves me from having to do a lot of explaining. I'll go ahead give you a quick summary of the remaining stats." She then pointed at the [Proficiency] stat. "This tells you how good you are with weapons and tools. The higher it is, the deadlier you become by being able to land more damaging attacks as well as being able to defend yourself more effectively. [Spellcasting] and [Mana] go together, much like [Strength] and [Proficiency]. [Spellcasting] determines how potent your spells are while [Mana] is essentially your ammo for spells. The more [Mana] you have, the more you can cast without having to restore it."

That didn't seem too hard to follow. If only I could have grasped univariate transformations as easily as I do RPG logic.

"Along your journey, you will also find various equipment that will augment your stats. But a lot of it will only have an effect if it suits your class. And this is part of the reason why so few Champions become Martial Artists."

"Not too many people making stuff for this class?"

"Partially. Marital Artists are meant to do damage with their limbs, so most weapons won't give you the boost to your [Strength] and [Proficiency] stats. There are some that do exist, but don't expect to become that much deadlier if you pick up a random sword off the ground. Not to mention that this class relies mostly on their skill and [Intelligence], which is why your [Luck] stat is so low."

I know she made that out to seem like a bad thing, but considering my life back on Earth, having a low [Luck] stat won't feel any different.

"Do Martial Artists get anything to make up for these shortcomings?"

"Very few classes get to have both a decent [Strength] and [Spellcasting] stat. Not to mention some extra [Stamina] for bulk."

I stared at the stats page for a few seconds to make it seem like I was intent on analyzing the numbers. But my mind was already made up. Nothing was going to convince me to pick a different class. After I finished gazing at the hovering page, I faced Govessa again. "I'm happy with this choice," I told her.

"All right. Go ahead and press [CONFIRM]. That way we can get on to the final part of orientation."

She just had to use the word 'orientation,' didn't she? Even in death I can't escape the pressure of college.